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Mean Mom.
Sometimes my mom will say hurtful things to me and not even realize it.
"How can you possible have that many texts, you don't have more then 3 friends!"
(Keep in mind, this was after I just lost my boyfriend, best friend, and almost all of my friends so I was very upset from losing them)
"I would buy bigger jeans, you're getting fatter"
Even though I'm a size 1.
I've talked to her about this numerous times, but she just doesn't understand. What should I do?
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I know this sounds mean, but i would give her a taste of her own medicine. When shopping and she picks out clothes, say mom are you sure you can fit into this? or things like that. When she does something just insult her about it. If she becomes mad you are sayinga ll this, just say, well i really want you to stop doing the exact same thing to me. I am going through puberty and yes, i will be getting bigger, but not neccessarily fatter. I want you to support me and my friends, and i do have more than 3. Even if i had only 3, i wouldn't want you to tease mea bout it. Things like that...i hope i helped.
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I think your Mom needs instant feedback on these occasions, not a sit-down talk hours after the fact. When she says these hurtful things, tell her right away and in no uncertain terms that she is hurting your feelings. If it persists, then you may need to give her something in the way of an ultimatum, along these lines:
"Mom, you say a lot of things to me that hurt. I have told you about this time and time again, and you just don't seem to care. If one of my friends spoke to me the way you do, I wouldn't keep her as a friend any longer. Please know that if you don't find better ways to express yourself, I will defend myself by dismissing your opinions. If you want me to continue to give a damn about what you think and say, please start giving a damn about my feelings."
I gave my older brother that same ultimatum once for the same reason, and it saved our relationship. Good luck to you.
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My mom does that to me sometimes, too. I think maybe it's beause she's stressed or angry and something else--and then decides to take it out on me. Then, I get upset and I take it out on my brother without even noticing sometimes. So I think you should TRY and talk to her about it and if nothing changes, then I think you should get back at her-likeee "Mom, that shirt looks so bad on you!" or "Have you gained weight?"
Hope I helped!
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I know exactly where you are coming from. Parents many times dont think about what they for the simple fact that they "dont have to" cause they are in charge and they are right. I had almost the same situation going on for me for many years. Though it is no excuse I found out some things about my mother's past that made her bitter and easily angered and stuff. I would really like to know what your mom says when you talk to her. Let me know and I can help you on a bit further if you'd like.
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next time she saids something mean be like .. mom this is what i mean by you being so rude ! i told you numerous times about it but you never undertsand and now im finally giving you the perfect example..your always rude to me and bring me down..your supose to be my mother and try and be there for me.. and just let her know what you think and if she still does it well .. when my mom does it i flip out.. ill be like if your going to say things like this to me than you rather not even talk to me because i dont need you to try and bring me down. just try to get out your feelings out to her .. thats teh only thing you can really do
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Thats so mean!
The way to nip these situations in the bud,
it to sit down with your mother,
and have those examples written down.
And when you start tell tell her start your sentences out like ..
"I feel, really upset when you [insert insult here] to me, because it really hurts my feelings.. etc"
Always say how you feel (i feel) or the other person will get defensive even more, and make th econversation harder.
I'm sorry your mother says this stuff to you,
thats horrible. And cruel, I hope everything gets sorted out and that she will start to understand that shes hurting you badly.
If you need anyone to talk to, IM me at one of the IMs on my advice column.
<3
ps.
give me the link of your quesiton.<3
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just do it to her you know like
'mom have you gained wait'
from jack_bell
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First of all, being a size 1 is not fat at all! It sounds like she either had a tough childhood or she is unhappy with herself. Some parents expect more from their kids than they should. If you have talked to her numerous times about how you feel, and she still hasnt stopped, maybe you need to give her the same treatment. I know this sounds wierd but just cuz she is your mom that doesnt mean she can make u feel like total crap all the time. Tell her it's never too late to take some parenting classes. :)
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i think your mom has a few insecurities of her own that she's kinda taking out on you. don't take them seriously... i know a lot of moms that do that. i'm not saying that it's right but you can't change her. that, or she's pissed you are texting a lot? tdont text in front of her constantly... it's just cell phone ettiqet. for the "you're getting fatter" maybe she thinks that instead of buying size 1 skin tight jeans for the year, get a 3 instead so you have some room to grow. most moms say that because they dont want skin tight OR because they want to save some money on clothes and that's normal. like i said, just dont take it seriously. <3
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ok well you said you talked to her already.
you should talk to her again using these examples if you didn't already.
if she still doesn't stop you should talk to someone that she'll listen to..
like maybe your dad, uncle, aunt etc. and maybe they can get her to stop.
if she STILL does it then you should just do it back to her
and maybe she'll start to feel how you're feeling.
hope this helped.
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