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Q: ok..so there was this girl and she was like my best friend all thro 8th grade...then my b/f broke up with me and she went out with him a DAY later. how horrible is that?! well..he is so mean to her and he talks so bad about me and my other friends..but she wont stick up for us..AT ALL! she sits there and laughs about it. she said she was sorry and i was like.ok..and i have forgiven her and everything but now its like evrything she does gets on my nerves i cant stand this girl. and its hard because she still thinks we are best friends and i dont know how to just tell her..Hey girl..we arent friends...i thought it would be easier to forgive her but it keeps getting harder cause she is like the fakest person in the world. idk what i should do because now we are in a huge fight and she is making it seem like its MYYY fault.and ignoring her doest work because she is good friends with another one of my best friends so its like everywhere i go with my friends she is there too..ughhh please help!

Well,
fake friends are definitly not needed in life... you need true friends and if she can't be that, she doesn't need to be your friend. She doesn't deserve you because obviously, you're a true friend because I know you wouldn't do that to her and the fact that she just does it to YOU for no reason is awful! The best thing you can do in this situation is to talk to that girl and tell her how you HATE that she's talking about you and since she did this, I'm not going to tell you to be nice or calm while saying this. lol. Express yourself and tell her EXACTLY how you feel and don't keep anything from her because she needs to know and maybe you guys can become fiends once again and she'll understand. If she does get mad, than, she doesn't deserve to be treated like a friend anyway. You're better than her and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her or anything like that. Just don't let her bother you at all because the more she knows it's bothering you, the more she's going to try to make you mad by talking about you more and more. If you need more advice, you know I'm here to answer any questions that you may have. You can also email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K?
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
♥ Kayla

Q: My friend and i have been best best friends since we were about 4 years old... same school, lives down the road, you know. then she left public school in 6th grade for private & i ended up going to the same private HS as her in 9th grade. since i knew only her there i just wound up hanging out w/ who she did (which were annoying, prissy, catty, gossipy, fake girls) and eventually she got tired of their crap, so she ditched them. but i still hung out w/ them so in the process she was ditching ME. so then i ditched them but not for her, i just needed to & i'm GLAD i did. but she STILL won't even talk to me. on the bus we used to sit & have nice long detailed talks and now she doesn't even ackowledge me at ALL accept when her "new" friends aren't on the bus. i never EVER said anything to get her upset or mad, and even if i did, she should give me the decencey to TALK to me about it FIRST since we're BFF, right?? i don't get it, and i already lost another BFF this year & losing her hurts a LOT. i don't understand why... i don't know what to do. should i forget about it and just leave it at "we grew apart, that happens" or talk to her (w/out pissing her off) and work it out... or something else? ahh PLEASE help, i miss my best friend! =(

Well,
I DON'T think you should just say "We grew apart, that happens" because you guys are best friends and best friends don't just throw it away and go on. When best friends fight, they TRY to work it out and solve their problems. If you miss her, you should really try to gain back what you had. She's obviously not mad at you. She just kinda drifted away from you after a while. Since she's excited that she found someone new for her to hang out with, she ditched YOU because she wants new friends and I'm guessing that she's the kind of person that when she makes new friends, she forgets about her old ones. You just have to remind her of the good times you guys had and how close you guys were. You have to talk to her (calmly) and tell her that you MISS hanging out with her and calling her on the phone and emailing her every day and being her B.F.F. Tell her you don't MIND if she has other friends but you want her to be yours too. If you need more advice or want to talk, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com or email me in my advice inbox.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
♥ Kayla

Q: what age/grade will your friends start to act more mature, and start being more than just someone to laugh with. you know, when will it be easier to find that one true friend, cause i'm pretty young, and i dont think anyone is that mature enough that they are the kind of friend that will give you a shoulder to lean on when your sad, or you can call anytime just 2 talk, you know that kind of stuff. does anyone know what age>

I, personally, think it's fun to laugh with a friend but I know what you mean. The age my friends started being mature is about... 15. They start thinking that the stupid stuff is... stupid. Trust me... it's hard to find the ONE TRUE FRIEND. You can't shop around like finding an outfit. You have to be EXTREMELY close to someone. If you're friends with someone for a long time, you should be close, even through fights and stuff. Trust me when I tell you that friends are someone who you CAN laugh with but also, when you're having boy troubles or a family problem or something, they understand and try ANYTHING to help you out. That's what a friend is. You can talk to your friends and tell them how you feel and if they are true friends, they'll listen.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
Email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com if you want to talk or need more advice. You can also email me in my advicenators inbox!
♥ Kayla

Q: yeah! its ela.zagami@comcast.net

O.K. I'll email you!
:-)
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: do you have a screen name? mine is TxDrUmBuMxZ .. IM me

No... my computer is going through this really weird thing where it won't let me get into ANYTHING... not chatrooms, not instant messangers, NOTHING. I'm really sorry but do you have an email address? Because if you do, I'll definitly email you!
Luv ya!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: weird question i know. my best friend is moving soon, and i sent her a text telling her i was gonna miss her and a bunch of other friend stuff like that. everything i said i meant in a friend way but she took it the wrong way. someone read her fone and saw the texts and thought the same thing. now every one of my friends thinks i like her. and other people i dont even know! shes gonna be gone in 3 weeks.. and idk what to do. haha its funny cause i know its not true and that rediculous anyone would think that, but sucks cause no one believes what i say. help =/

Well,
like I said in my profile, I don't care what people think or say about me because things that people say, I KNOW aren't true so why would it matter? Why would it matter if a few people call you a lesbian? It wouldn't matter to me. When they say something, play it cool. Don't act like it matters. Just do normal stuff and when they say something and see you don't care about what they're saying isn't effecting you, they'll leave you alone. The reason why they're saying these nasty things about you, is because they want it to get to you. They want to make you mad and they want you to cry and be all upset but once they see that what they are saying to/about you, they'll get bored. Then, once that happens, talk to your friend, and tell her that what you said about "Missing her" was not like that! You're rioght... that IS rediculous because I said that to my friend, who moved away, and she said she would miss me too and we weren't lesbians or anything like that! My best friend is moving in a year and I'm going to miss her and I tell her that every day and a lot of other people tell her that so tell her that you're friend, (me, Kayla) tells her to straighten up because she's wrong about you and she knows it. She just wants to p*** you off and it's NOT gonna happen! If you want to talk about something TOTALLY off topic or need more advice, email me in my advicenators inbox OR email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K?
Please rate!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
*~Kayla~*

Q: I'm 16, moving to college this fall, I have at the moment 3 people I consider to be my best friends... we're not going to the same colleges, but I never doubted for a second we wouldn't keep in touch, we've been friends for nearly 5 years, had our ups and downs but been solid for a year!
Well we decided a month or so ago we were all going to go together to get some piercings done! and tried to decide a date, it kept getting moved for various reasons... finally we decided wednesday but I found out I had an appointment on that day... and also needed to check with my workplace they didnb't have any problems with facial peircings... so asked if we could go next week instead... anyhow I found out today they went without me! the thing is, they didn't even tell me they were going... my friend said the other two decided to go because there was a party today and they wanted to show it off there... and she went along with them... now the thing is, I wouldn't have minded so much if they'd told me this, but I'm really hurt they value showing a pericing off more then going with their friend... and also that they went behind my back :(
What should I do about this? I have events and gigs coming up where I'm going with them and I don't know what to say to them or how I should react! I do tend to be a little emotional about these things but to me this is a big thing, that they chose this party over me!

Wow!
That's not right! The don't need to be promising you anything, if they're just going to break their promise. I would talk to them and say how you feel and see what they say. I know, probably a lot of people tell you this but it's the right thing to do. Either that or call them, or email them or whatever you want to do. Then, if they act insensitive about it, then, just get TWO peircings WITH SOMEONE ELSE that are better than theirs, and that'll make you look better than because you ARE better than them and I don't know you personally but I can tell YOU would never do what they did to one of YOUR best friends! They should take it the right way and understand you, if they really care about what you think and feel and they shouldn't act insensitive but IF THEY DO, than, GOD I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT... you can't be having friends like that because when you start hanging around peole like that for a while, you start to BECOME like them and you DO NOT want to become like them.
If you want to talk about something TOTALLY off topic or need more advice, email me in my advicenators inbox OR email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K?
Please rate!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
*~Kayla~*

Q: I found out that someone that my brother knows smokes ciggarettes and i think im just going to stay out of it but i want a second opinion!

Well,
it all depends on how old he/she is. If he/she is under 18, you should take action by either talking to your brother about it or telling that person in person. You can also tell your parents and they can help out someway, maybe by talking to that person. You shouldn't let this overcome you. You need to do something about it. My aunt (she;s not my real aunt but I call her aunt Paula) DIED of lung cancer and I'm trying to convice people to STOP smoking and it makes me mad everytime my mom buys some cigarettes because my aunt was an innocent 40 year old woman and her life ended horribly and you DON'T want the feeling I had when I found out she was dead. You need to prevent this person from smoking however you can. Buy this person a patch or the smoking gum that helps you quit as well. If you want to talk about something off topic or need more advice you can ask me a question in my advicenators inbox OR you can email me seperately at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K?
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
*~!Kayla*~!

Q: Ok I have these 2 friends. I know them both really well. We are so close. Well today they played a trick on me. They made up a screenname and pretended they were this girl that I hate with a passion. They talked a bunch of shit. Well it got to the point that when the convo was over that I sent the convo to 2 of my other friends e-mail and told them to read it. Well i go to tell my friend about it and turns out it was her and my other friend..The thing that made me mad and pissed off at them is the fact that they said it was that girl and they know i hate her. They completly don't know what happened between me and her and shouldn't have done it. But my ? is .....What should I do about it? I mean it might of been funny to them but they don't know the whole story and it completly pissed me off...Should I tell them it made me mad and that I am still mad at them....But please tell me what I should do....
Signed ,,,,TrueHope10

Well,
even though it was a joke to them, it made you mad and if you keep this inside, you're going to bust sooner or later. You need to talk to BOTH of them at the same time and see how they react when you tell thay you don't appreciate them playing a mean joke like that on you, especially since they KNEW you hated that girl and they completelt used that to get you. That's not right. Don't be rude to them. Just tell them that you don't appreciate that and if they really want to talk and joke like that, they can do it to someone else but not you. You don't need that right now and you would appreciate it if they would stop. Tell them that and if they react immaturely, tell them that if they can't tke the truth and how you feel, they're not good friends anyway. If you want to talk about something totally off topic or need more advice, ask a question in my inbox OR email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com O.K?
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Im sorry its quite long but i really really do need help! I know its kinda bribing but I will give you 5 if its any reasonable answer! lol!
I have a friend, lets call her Hobbit because she is very short. Now she is, not that im being mean, rather unatractive but quite a nice person. She met this guy on the internet, we will call him Ent because he is very very tall.
Ent and Hobbit got together when he asked her out about a week or 2 after they started talking. He is 21 and she is 17. Quite a lot of her friends didnt like the idea of this so she told them she had dumped him but was actually still going out with him. I didnt really like the sound of it but i knew someone would have to stay on her good books to help her if things went pair shaped. Anyway, she met up with him for the first time last saturday and I came too because i wouldnt let her go on her own because he had been sounding more and more freaky by the day. When i met him though i thought yeh maybe he is alright, but i have discovered recently just how tempremental, slightly peverted and freaky he really is, oh and he also likes to mess with peoples minds for fun.
How can I convince someone who thinks the world of him, who falls for anyone who comes her way, that he is bad news and that i am scared for her, i have tried explaing to her but it just wont get through and im really really worried for her.

I'm so sorry I have to tell you this, but you may have to go to drastic measures... you may have to... tell her mother/father/guardian/friend/SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HER WELL! lol! I know you may not feel right about it but it's the right thing to do to prevent her from getting emotionally/physically hurt by this grown man, whom she barely even knows! This is a dangerous situation. She may be in trouble and if she won't listen, it may be up to you to get her out of it. Trust me on this. Her mother/father may forbid her from seeing him and she may be upset but when he goes to jail for raping someone, she'll thank you that it wasn't her! Please trust me on this. I take this very seriously because there are internet predators pretending to be thirteen years old and all cute when really, it's a 44 year old man with bad B.O and 5 warrants! lol. Seriously, there are more internet predators today there ever were and it's getting worse. People will track you down and go to your house. It's pretty scary and you don't want him to hurt your friend, O.K? Email me if you need more advice or just want to talk. It's O.K with me. Email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: ok i'm really sorry this is long, but please take the time to read it, because it seems no one can help me: all i want is that on friend. that one friend that will stick with you though your whole life, and that u can grow old with. you know? that friend if your crying she will come over to your house and sit with you for hours, or one that you can call at 2 in the morning. and that friend that you never have awkard silent moments with cause you always speak your mind with her, and even if you are silent, its comfortable silence.you see, it seems all my friends arent really THAT friend.like when i feel like talking about serious things, they do not listen. they're just to have a few jokes with and thats it. in MY opinion, i think there is more to a friend than that. my mom says its hard to find that kind of friend but someday you will. i dont believe her. will I EVER get that friend!!???

Listen to your mom. She's right. It is hard to find a friend like that. First of all, you can't trust everyone who's nice to you. It may seem like this friend is ALWAYS going to be your friend but then, she backstabs you in heartbeat. That's happened to me before because I trusted someone that I never knew I couldn't trust. You WILL find friends like that in life. Tomorrow, maybe. Or today. You can't shop for a best friend. You have to KNOW that that person is yo0ur best friend that you can trust and never fight with. You will find friends like that. You will. I'm 100% sure on this. Just trust me. If you need any more advice or just want to talk, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com!!!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: theres this boy that i like. But his like my best best best guy friend. sometimes he flirts with me, we do everything together, his brother n'd my brother are friends... what should i do?? should i ask him out or should i wait until he makes the move?...

Well,
flirt with him a lot and see how he reacts. If he acts flirty back and then always wants to sit by you and walk by you and stuff, he definitly likes you and you should ask him out. But if he kinda hesitates to flirt back, leave him alone and wait for HIM to make the move! It'll work. That's how I always tell with a guy.
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Ok, My best friend Ethan and I have been best friends since we met this year, and I would do anything for him. Well, hes going out with this girl, Skylar. I dont mean to name names, but shes a total prep, and she HATES ME. And I'm not very fond of her either. Ever since they have been going out, Ethan is all different. I used to be able to tell him anything, but whenever I say something bad about Skylar on accident, he gets all mad, and I feel like I cant trust him anymore. I want to tell him so badly that Skylar is being a jerk to me and my friends, but he wont listen to me, i'm positive he wont. I feel like I'm not part of his life anymore, I just feel like I'm in the background, and Skylar is always getting her way with everything. I mean, do you ever get that feeling where you know that hes waking up thinking about the totally wrong girl, yet you hope that he finds happiness in his life, even if it means kicking you out of it? well thats how I feel. So here are my questions...

1) How do I tell him how I really feel about him and Skylar without him getting mad?

2) How do I get a more positive attitude out of this?

PLEASE HELP. I rate 5's. And I appreciate all those columnists that take the time to read this real long question =)...

--SKY IS THE LIMIT.

To be honest with you, there really is no way you can tell him about Skylar without him getting mad because writing a note is just as bad as saying it to his face. You may not like the fact that they are going out and leaving you out. I say the best thing to do is call him or something but tell him that he needs to listen without saying ANYTHING. Tell him to save the comments for last and then, tell him how you feel about Skylar. If he gets mad at you, don't worry. Skylar will break up with him soon enough and he'll be thanking you for warning him and he'll feel like a total idiot because he should have listened to you and he didn't. If he loses your friendship with him, which shouldn't/won't happen, it's his loss because you're a really good friend.
Best of luck!!!
Hope I helped!!!
View my column!!!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: i had this best friend named ryley when i was about 5 years old years old!! we lived next door to me and we did EVERYTHING together!but then when i was 8 he moved and i never saw him again and now i am really starting to miss him. My boyfriend goes to his church and a few weeks ago he said his best friend ryley from church asked if he knew me!he said yes and ryley told him we used to be best friends!now i really want to call him since i know now that he remembers me! but i dont know what i would say!i sure did change alot from when i was 8 til now im 14.i dont even know if he cares or wants to talk to me..what should i do?

Well,
unless the last thing you said to him was hateful, he will want to talk to you. Tell your boyfriend to tell Ryley that you want his phone number, unless you already have it. If you already have it or you are going to get it, you need to tell him who it is and ask if he remembers you. Then, he'll probably ask "How have you been?" or something and the conversation starts. Tell him more about you. Tell him how you've changed. Make plans with him but make sure you kinda... include that boyfriend of yours so he doesn't get jealous. LOL. Well, you can make plans with him like... going to the mall or the movies or the swimming pool or something fun so yall can get a chance to know each other because 6 years of not seeing someone is a long time. You need to mae a good impression on him so he won't... NOT like you anymore. I think you'll be fine!
Try that! If it doesn't work or if it does, email me at kitty_kats123@yahoo.com or view my column and ask me a question in my inbox. Either one is fine. I'm on this website EVERY day and I check my email every day as well so do whatever you please!
Luv ya!
Best of lucl!
I hope I helped!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Hey my friend and I have been friends for a long time. We promised to be best friends forever. Lately though, I feel as if we've grown apart. Just recently we have been going to different middle schools and we won't be meeting up until high school. We haven't been talking to each other much lately, even though we're out for summer break. How can I help improve our relationship?

Well,
you can always talk to him/her on the phone. Invite him/her over to your house to hang out and watch some movies or whatever or invite him/her to go somewhere like the mall or the swimming pool. These are how you can get your friendship to be more... ALIVE. But before you do anything, tell him/her how you feel about being emotionally apart, O.K? He/she will surely understand and take it in that you want to get closer. Make plans with him/her so you guys can get a chance to be alone and talk and stuff. No, your friendship is not breaking up, unless you let it. It's up to you!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: My best friend has such a pretty face. She doens't have a great body but whatever. I'm always so jealous of her. Today she was wearing eyeliner for the first time. She was gorgeous! For some reason whenever she looks good I don't tell her...because im jealous. When I look good she tells me. I feel so bad. How can I stop being jealous of her???

Well,
for one thing, you need to know that you're pretty too. You're just as pretty as she is! You need that self-esteem goin', gurl! Stop telling yourself you think someone else is prettier than you. That's why you're jealous. I'm always jealous of someone I'm not: like... Jennifer Lopez. She has a great body, beautiful face, and millions of dollars. I give it up because I know that I'm not her and I have to deal with who I am and what I look like. This may help you but it may not. I tried my best and that's what I would do. Don't tell yourself these things! Tell yourself that no matter what, you're always going to be you and you don't have to change your whole self to look or feel any better. You're still going to be you when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night! It's O.K, though. I don't think I'm pretty but my friends think I am!
Hope I helped!
View my column!
Best of luck!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: why did you tell me that you were going to bed and you really didnt you stayed on the computer? if you didnt want to talk then you should have said my gay sister wants me to get off the phone!! i'm not mad but i thought that was dumb!! I knew you were still on because when I got off the advicenators you site didnt have those puff things and when i woke up at 10:00am this moring it was changed and I knew you werent awake because I called you and know one answered.

whhhhhhaaaaatttttt??? i got out of it but it is never logged off if thats what you mean... well, i had to get off the ohone because the other one died and it was 2:00 in the morning and my sister told me to get off the phone but i didn't... i stayed on with you for another hour and then, i had to go to bed because my mom woke up and told me i had to get off the phone, remember when I said my mom was coming? yeah... lol. btw, i put those little puff things in while i was on the phone with you like... 5 minutes before i said i had to get off. i swear... why would i not want to talk to you? that would be gay! lol well, this question will be in my advice column now so everyone will see it... i hate how it does that! ok... write back!

Q: Okay, for everyone or anyone who answers this, I really want a good answer. So here it goes.. My best best best friend is moving..because her divorsed parents are getting back together. and she seems fine with it. Our town (i dont want to sound posh about this one..) is a pretty rich town, homes go up to 1.1 million. and so her mom doesn't want to pay that kind of money for a house. Its so scary, because we are so close, I don't know what to do!

signed,
best friends for n/ever?

O.K...
Really, truly, and honestly, there is nothing you can DO about it. I was once in this situation, except I was the one MOVING. I do know that is she's happy, you should be happy FOR her. Sure, you're going to miss her and it's going to be hard butit's not the last time you're going to see her. If she's just in another town, you can drive down to see her when it's Christmas break. If she's in another state/country, you can buy a plane ticket/drive down there in the summer. That's what I do with my friend, Heather, that I moved away from in 2001. Get email addresses, have her call you and plan a vacation where you guys both get together. It's going to be hard but it's NOT the end of the world!
I'm sorry you have to go through this! I know how you feel!
Best of luck!
Hope I helped!
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Ok heres the deal..im 14 and in the 9 grade and i feel like i have no friends..i mean yea i talk to people at school but idk like at lunch i sit with these ppl that my "friend" sits w. and i dont even sit by her i sit at the end of the table w. these boys and i dont even tlk to them i just sit there and eat my lunch. Then there comes the weekends and i have nothing to do and i usually stay home w. my mom and dad and i come home every day after school its really is pathetic..any idea to help me?

Well,
it seems to me like you need to get close to someone. Talk to one person a lot. Someone who's nice to you, who respects you, and who doesn't mind telling you his/her secrets. Then, get his/her phone number. Call them up on the phone on the weekends and invite them to a movie or to come over and hang out. Trust m,e, you have friends. EVERYONE has friends no matter what. I have been through my teen years but still... I know what it's like to be teen. O.K? You know that we all luv ya here at ADVICENATORs.COM. O.K? Luv ya, girl
~~~Kayla~~~

Q: Ok, this past week, I went to Disneyworld to march in the parade with the band. (yes, I'm a bandgeek...) Well, my really good friend, Nicole, was sitting with me on the busride to Floriday (24 hours, yuck!) and the way there and the 1st few days of Disney were fine, but then she started getting on my nerves. At the time, I didn't think she was a lesbian at all. She was just NOT giving me my space and was hanging around me A LOT. She basically wouldn't leave me alone. And from then on, she started acting really weird. I'm gonna tell you the things that she did, but they're not gonna be in order lol. Well, for one, we were at Epcot and playing in the fountain like 4-year-olds, but hey it was fun lol. She kept picking me up and trying to get on top of me. And then, long after we dried off, she had wet spots on her boobs. So disgusting. On the bus ride home, I'm like, trying to sleep, and every time I look, she's watching me. Then later, I woke up later that night and her butt was pressed against mine and if I'm not mistaken, it was moving up and down. Then on the monorail, she has all this room, but is like, on top of me. So I move over, and she moves closer, and that kept happening. Just a lot of that kind of stuff. So me and my new friends Kelly and Molly and my other friend Amber ditched her at Magic Kingdom, and yeah, we're not talking (not that I care). But now, I'm just really freaked out. I told my friends, and we thought about it for awhile, and a lot of stuff she told us before was all starting to make sense and we really think she's bi or a lesbian. So what should I do? I don't really want to be her friend anymore, and I'm just really freaked out. I could probably say more, but I don't want this to be too long, so if you want more details, IM me on x HappyBunni16 x. Sorry so long, but I'm really scared.
P.S. I have nothing against lesbians, just when they hit on me and my friends.

Please email me and tell me MORE. I need more detail, sweetie. LOL. Well, that IS creepy and I really agree with you. You can't really FOR SURE say she's a lesbian unless she tells you face to face. Ask her. That's disgusting. BTW, I like guys and couldn't imagine my life without them. LOL. WELL, email me ok?
~~~Kayla~~~