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He's totally CHANGED....
Ok, My best friend Ethan and I have been best friends since we met this year, and I would do anything for him. Well, hes going out with this girl, Skylar. I dont mean to name names, but shes a total prep, and she HATES ME. And I'm not very fond of her either. Ever since they have been going out, Ethan is all different. I used to be able to tell him anything, but whenever I say something bad about Skylar on accident, he gets all mad, and I feel like I cant trust him anymore. I want to tell him so badly that Skylar is being a jerk to me and my friends, but he wont listen to me, i'm positive he wont. I feel like I'm not part of his life anymore, I just feel like I'm in the background, and Skylar is always getting her way with everything. I mean, do you ever get that feeling where you know that hes waking up thinking about the totally wrong girl, yet you hope that he finds happiness in his life, even if it means kicking you out of it? well thats how I feel. So here are my questions...
1) How do I tell him how I really feel about him and Skylar without him getting mad?
2) How do I get a more positive attitude out of this?
PLEASE HELP. I rate 5's. And I appreciate all those columnists that take the time to read this real long question =)...
--SKY IS THE LIMIT.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
To be honest with you, there really is no way you can tell him about Skylar without him getting mad because writing a note is just as bad as saying it to his face. You may not like the fact that they are going out and leaving you out. I say the best thing to do is call him or something but tell him that he needs to listen without saying ANYTHING. Tell him to save the comments for last and then, tell him how you feel about Skylar. If he gets mad at you, don't worry. Skylar will break up with him soon enough and he'll be thanking you for warning him and he'll feel like a total idiot because he should have listened to you and he didn't. If he loses your friendship with him, which shouldn't/won't happen, it's his loss because you're a really good friend.
Best of luck!!!
Hope I helped!!!
View my column!!!
~~~Kayla~~~
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I can understand how you feel. That happened with one of my guy friends. The girl he was going out with was a total witch, but with a "b". You should write him a letter and slip it some where he will find. If that doesn't work, give the letter to one of your mutual friends and hope your message gets through. Now to get a more positive attitude out of this...
...Just lay off a while, when you see him give him a casual "Hello" and walk away. Not that you should completely ignore him, you should just wait for him to come around on his own. No one can force another person to do anything against their will. If you really get frustrated sitting around doing nothing, then write down how you feel in a journal or on a sheet of paper, its a really good stress relief.
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1) Thing is you probably won't be able to get through to him no matter what you say. He has it bad for her so anything you say is going to make you seem like the one picking on Skylar. Best just not to mention her to him at all. If she is mean to you and the rest of his friends it will come out one day soon and he will see it for himself. I know it will be hard on you but if you want to stay friends you'll just have to play along until he does.
2) I don't know how you get more positive about it. Its hard when you don't like someone. For now she is what he wants so you have to be nice about it until its over. I guess you try to see it as being nice to her for his sake and just do your best to get along until its over. Then, if you like him yourself you jump in there and console him and tell him how you feel. After some time has passed. He won't see you in a good light if you've been bad mouthing her all along, so you need to be polite to her even if you hate it. :)
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I know you've probably gotten this so many times, babe, but you have to talk to him. Hes ur best friend, no? You should be able to confront him about it, or hes not a friend at all. Make sure he's in a good mood with you, and look him in the eyes and talk. Hold his gaze: everyone knows eyes are the windows to the soul. And about Skylar? whats WITH this girl? are you sure you're being nice to her? if you go out of your way to be nice to her, no-one, even the worlds biggest bitches, can reject niceness. Good luck! =)
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1) it sounds like he doesnt want to hear anything negative about his new g/f because that will make him feel like he's made a bad choice on who to date. so i would just let him figure it out. or if there's a way you can prove that skylar is being mean to you.
2) its like you said, you want him to be happy no matter what even if it means your not in his life. so just think about that. if hes happy, then you should be happy for him. their relationship doesnt sound like its going to last too long, so when they break up be there for him and support him.
hope i helped- :)
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Ahaha, I got your lil "--SKY IS THE LIMIT." thingy you threw in there. No? Okay.
You know cuz, that person with the weird name is "Skylar". No wonder they're mad, the have a really weird name.
Ethan gets mad because you talk bad about the person he's going out with. If you were going out with ethan and I said ethan can totally suck my dick because hes a jackass; you'd get pretty pissed off too right?
Exactly.
Go punch Skylar.
As you walk away, say "AND YOUR NAME SUCKS TOO!"
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