about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

My brother has ADHD and he took meds for it for a few months but then got sick off it and my parents agreed to take him off.


Well, his grades started dropping again so my parents told him that they want him to try the meds again.


His ADHD isn't as bad as some people; he does have a hard time paying attention (he'd just rather think about other things he could be doing is what he says) and is really active but not enough to get him in trouble at school, just attract attention and affect his grades.


Well anyways, today is the second day he was back on his meds and he hates it. He's so...different. And I can't stand him when he's like this, he isn't fun. He's just not himself. He tried talking to my parents but they say his grades suffer too much with out it.


He wants me to talk to them but I'm not sure what to say. He's already promised that he will try super hard to pay attention so that's all I have right now. Any ideas?


If it helps any, we're twins and both 17, I'm a girl.

It could be the medication he's on. Instead of doing without it, perhaps he and your parents should try talking to your family doctor about trying a different medication. Sometimes it takes a couple tries before they find the medication that works best.

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I've always been a little chubby. Not fat, but just kind of some chubbiness on my stomach and thighs, etc. In the beginning, I was 14 years old and I weighed 136 pounds, and I'm 5'2. Ever since November, however, I've been determined to lose weight. I don't know what inspired me to do it, but I believe it was basically because I wasn't happy about my body and how it looked, and especially since in gym we have to wear our bathing suits, and I didn't want to be that self conscious.

Now it's almost been 5 months. I'm 123/124 pounds and turning 15 in a week. The change is really noticeable. The thing is, though, that my mom believes I'm close to having a problem. It's just that I count my calories VERY accurately and workout as much as I can. If I go over 2000 cals I'll hate myself for it. I write everything I eat down and how much calories they are, including beverages. If we go out to eat, I have to count the calories of my possible order beforehand or I'll stick to a basic soup and salad meal. It's not that I don't eat anything; I do--including candy, ice cream, etc. It's just that I have to know how many calories are in each specific meal.

Not only that, but if my weight goes up to 126 (since sometimes it tends to shift back and forth) I cry. I feel like all my hard work had been put to waste and I'm gaining it all back.

Since I do a lot of running, a lot of weight has been dropped from throughout my body, including my face. Recently, my aunt, who came with us to a restaurant, asked my mom if i was sick because I looked like I was losing a lot of weight, especially in my face. After that, my mom has been really concerned with me and trying to stop me from working out, even telling me that my face is beginning to look "haggard" and my face doesn't look good when it's skinny. Even though I won't stop -- I still look at myself from time to time and think to myself, "Do I really have a problem? Am I really sick?" My friends think I look amazing. They think the change in me is great. But that doesn't concern me at all. It's what my family thinks.

What do you guys think? Is there a problem here I should be aware about? Thanks in advance and sorry for the longness of it all.

I have to agree with your mom. If I'm not mistaken, you're already in your healthy weight range so you don't need to be losing weight. If people are saying you look sick or haggard, then that would signal that something is wrong. Combined with the fact that you count calories before deciding what to eat and cry when your weight has a natural fluctuation, it sounds like you're getting close to an eating disorder.

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I share a bathroom with my 10 yearold sister and we keep our waste basket in the closet so my dog doesn't get to it. Everytime I get my period, i make sure i push my trash all the way to the bottom and close the closet door. BUT m sister always leaves the door open. My dog gets bloody tampons and the drags them around the house. My dad is getting disgusted and so am I! He blames it on me because of course its mine, not my moms. He says things like "You know the only thing that disgusts me is your bloody tampons" Its so embarassing!! How can I deal with this? My sister is an effin lazy ass.

I would suggest talking to your mom about what's going on. She may be able to talk to your sister about making sure the closet door stays shut or at least explain to your dad that it isn't your fault. As far as other options, I can think of three. One, if possible, move the trash basket to a shelf where the dog can't reach it. Two, buy a trash can with a lid that snaps shut. The third option is inconvenient but it will work if the dog is small. Set the trash basket in the bathtub and shut the curtain so the dog can't see it.

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Does an Ovarian Cyst cause any pains? If so, what kind of pain? Are they really serious?

An ovarian cyst can cause pain. From what I've read, it's generally a constant, dull pain in your pelvic area. Most ovarian cysts are functional and disappear on their own. However, some can be more serious. If you think you might have one, you really need to see your family doctor or gynecologist. They can do a pelvic exam or run tests to determine the type of cyst you have and the appropriate treatment. The links below should answer any questions you have. If you need more information, drop a line in my inbox.
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/ovarian_cysts.htm
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001504.htm

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im 13 and i have a body of a 16 year old, i weigh 120 and im 5'3 or 5'4 i know thats not really fat but you have to understand when i was 9 i always dreamed of going to jr high and high school being popular and skinny with alot of frinds, when i moved to a different part of new hartford i was only 10 and in 5th grade and i threw up not onpupose everyday b/c i was nervous, i lost a lot of weight and felt great and then i broke my arm i couldnt play outside and it rained during the summer so i had to stay inside it sucked and as you know when there is nothing to do you eat and i ate i got really fat and everyone knew it then i excersided and i lost a lil bit of weight and then i did cross country and i lost alot of weight i felt a lil good but not enough scence its been over i have been doing things excersise to help and i have fat not much but enough to make me go crazy!! my lil sister she has no fat there its like love handles only i have a lil i would love to loose weight to get to 100 or even better 90 and i looked at starving myslef or throwing up like i did when i was 10 and i did onece but then i couldnt sleep at night and i was uncomfortable so i stopped that now im back to wear i started im doing track soon so that willl help but i want to loose it now i know its bad but how would you feel waking up and looking at ur sisrer who is 12 and skinner than u were ever were you know you can look like that and trust me i asked her how she stays that way and she doesnt remember how she did it so now im screewed i know crunches work ive been doing that i want to get rid of it tell me how to stay on something that will work quick like throwing up i have a hard time doing it but i feel like i have no other choice i bawled about this onece and my mom said that if i ever had a problem like that she would send me somewhere and i dont anyone to know about it just so you know i have 8 people in my house so i have to keep it quiet and i have a big family and i dont want my b/f to know either so how do i keep it quiet and knowone knowing and how do i loose it fast?? i have been crying over for this for months and years pleez help me!

120 is actually a healthy weight for your height. I'm 5'4 and my doctor has told me that 115-135 is a healthy weight range for me.


Instead of trying to lose weight, I would suggest toning exercises. You may appear bigger than you are simply because the muscles aren't toned. By doing exercises to tone flabby areas, you'll improve your appearance without endangering your health. Crunches, especially the variations of them, will help tone your stomach. Leg lifts and squats will help tone your butt and thighs. Arm presses and pushups will help tone your arms.

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are your wisdom teeth suposed to hurt when they come in? If they do does it eventually stop once they completely come in? See mine are coming in. i Have 2 already and the other two on my right side is just killing me. i see them coming through and there in the same spot as the other ones on the other side. but they just hurt. i dunno why. And to top it off im so affraid of the dentist i just dont tell anyone they hurt. I CANT go there. biggest fear of mine.

any ideas? 5's for good advice

Ouch. Since I've had a lot of trouble with my wisdom teeth, I understand your pain. I'm also terrified of the dentist, but finally had to give in due to the pain. I'm scheduled to have mine pulled later this month. I wish I'd got over my fear sooner instead of living with the pain for several years. Mine started bothering me at 17 and I'm now 23. Believe me, it's better to go ahead and get it over instead of living with the pain.


Like the others have said, they generally knock you out for the procedure. However, they can do it without knocking you out in some cases. For instance, I'm currently pregnant so they can't knock me out. From what I was told by my dentist, there will be some numbness after the procedure and you should receive something for pain. You should be back to normal within a couple days. My mother had hers done a while back and was back at work the next day.


Definitely tell your parents. When they make you an appointment, explain to the dentist beforehand that you're nervous about the procedure. I don't know if all dentists do it, but mine offers a mild sedative for nervous patients.


Until then, you still have to deal with the pain. Ask your parents about an OTC pain reliever such as Tylenol and see if you can get some Orajel. I find the taste awful, but it does numb the area for a bit so it doesn't hurt. I've also found that putting a cool compress on my jaw helps to relieve the pain.

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I just made my schools volleyball team this past week. (We had conditioning and try outs 2 weeks before)
Well ever since we started try-outs I've been eating more! I eat like 2 dinners; After breakfast (while I'm at school) I get so hungry, and even after lunch I'll get hungry in like an hour.

How can I prevent this, I don't wanna get fat!

It may be what you're eating. Try eating more protein (meat, cheese, beans) and switching to complex carbohydrates (think multigrain). Protein and complex carbs take longer to digest so they keep you feeling full longer.


It might be also the amount you're eating. If you're more active, your body needs more calories to function. Go to the site below to get an idea of the calories you need to be eating and which food groups you need to get them.
http://www.mypyramid.gov/

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okay is it true that your boobs can become deformed if youre wearing a bra cup size too small..? cuz mine tend to hurt after a while and i think my bras getting a little small.. cuz im like right between an a and b.. and its really difficult to find a nice bra.

I don't think they'll become deformed, but a too small bra will definitely be uncomfortable. I saw some bras by Playtex advertised the other day that are supposed to be for those in-between sizes. You might look into those as an option until you're fully into a larger size.
http://www.halfsizestoo.com/

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Okay so i am a 16year old female. and heres my situation. ive only gotten my period like 3-4 times in my life. and they havent been in consecutive months. the closest its ever been to consecutive was dec 2004 and january 2005. and the time after that was june 2005 then i didnt get it until my last period which was january 2006. my main question is...does my very irregular period mean that i am not ovulating like i should be and could it effect whether or not i will be able to have children when im older? dont get the wrong idea its not that i want a kid now or anything. but i do want a family in the future and this i just freaking me out. any advice/information anybody could give me will be much appreciated. thanks.

A lot of women have irregular periods. For most, once their bodies adjust, their periods become regular. Others stay irregular. I fall into the category of staying irregular. Because I was also worried about it effecting my ability to have children, I asked my ob/gyn. She told me that I may have difficulty becoming pregnant because I don't ovulate on a regular pattern, but it didn't mean I wouldn't be able to have children.


Contrary to her expectations, I get pregnant quite easily. I was on the birth control pill the first time I got pregnant. Because I was taking antibiotics, the effectiveness was reduced and I got pregnant. After I miscarried, I went back on the pill and made sure to always request medications that wouldn't interfere with my birth control. After my husband and I got married, we decided we wanted to start a family so I went off the pill. A month later, I was pregnant again. The baby is due in just a few months.


Speaking from experience, it is possible to have children when you have irregular periods. If you're really concerned, make an appointment with your ob/gyn for a checkup. They can examine you and run some tests to determine if there are any factors that might effect your chances of becoming a mother in the future.

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Ok, so um...here's the point:
My nipples look like their all bruised and they hurt when something lightly touches them.I know this is disgusting but I'm kinda worried about it. If this is any help, they didn't "grow" yet.

Since you say they haven't grown yet, I assume you're probably just starting into your breast growth. If this is the case, you might consider investing in a cotton cushioned bra. It will help to protect them until they get past this sore stage. You can also talk to your parents about taking an OTC pain reliever such as Tylenol for the discomfort. The good news is this stage generally doesn't last too long and is a sign of your body maturing.


If they are excessively painful, you might want to consider seeing your family doctor just to make sure things are okay.

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I am 18 years old and have never had this before...I know what discharge is and that is not what i have right now. What i have is white stuff on the inners of my labias. It is white and It keeps appearing the past few days.

Some discharge is normal. You'll probably notice that there is more at certain points in your menstrual cycle. If it's clumpy (like cottage cheese), has a foul odor, or is accompanied by itching or pain, it could be a sign of a vaginal infection and needs to be checked out by your doctor.


A couple articles that help explain.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html
http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/9339/10955.html

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okay so when ever i use tampons they make me feelreally sick. im putting them in right because i cant feel anything but they make me feel really ill! and my period is quite heavy so its always annoying to have to go to the toilet all the time.

why do they make me feel sooo ill? ive tried different makes and absorbancies of them etc so i dont think its anything to do with that.

If tampons are making you sick, you need to see your family doctor or gynecologist so they can determine why. You may be one of the women that are unable to use tampons due to a reaction. Until then, I would recommend using pads. I know they're more of a hassle, but it's better than being sick.

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I think I have polycyrstic ovary syndrom. I have a lot of hair around my nipples. Like a lot of hair! I know polycyrstic ovary syndrom is treatable, but how can you treat it? Do you have to go to the doctor, or are there over the cunter drugs for it? Help please!

Is the excess hair your only symptom or do you have others as well? PCOS is generally accompanied by other symptoms as well. You need to be checked out by your family doctor or gynecologist to know for sure. I suggest going as soon as possible because if you do have it, it may lead to some problems if left untreated. It is treatable, but needs to be treated by a doctor. Prescription medication may be necessary. I'm including a couple links to sites with information for you to read.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/pcos.html
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm
http://www.pcosupport.org/

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Heres my new mail plan:
breakfast: bagel with cream cheese;;
lunch:sandwich ( whole grain bread ), one serving ( in a little bag ) of sunchips, maybe a fruit, and a whole grain crunchy bar thingy..( nature valley )
snack after school; blueberries
lunch; whatever, but in perportion and nothing way out there

2 glasses of milk a day
icetea/water ( unlimitied diet tea )

60 minutes of gazelle a week
3 exercise videos ( firm;pilates;yoga)
and one walk

will this help me lose weight?

any tips or advice? thanks in advance

much love

I think you're off to a good start by making a plan. Remember to vary your plan a bit so you don't get bored with it or in a weight-loss rut. I noticed a few things you might want to look at.


The bagel and cream cheese can pack a lot of calories. You may want to either switch to a plain bagel or try a different option for breakfast. A healthy cereal with fruit, an omelet packed with veggies, or whole wheat toast with yogurt might be options to try.


As for lunch, you may want to check the label on the Sunchips and the nature valley bar. Even though they tend to have healthier ingredients, sometimes they sneak in added fat. Fresh veggies may be something you can add. Also, when making the sandwich, remember to watch how it's prepared. Too much mayo or high calorie sandwich makings can turn it into a calorie nightmare.


Make sure you include foods from every food group so your body gets all the vitamins and minerals it needs. Go to http://mypyramid.gov/ and enter your information to get details of how much of each food group your body needs. You may also want to supplement with a good quality multi-vitamin.


To keep track of your progress, judge by how your clothes fit, rather than the numbers on the scale. The scale doesn't differentiate between fat and muscle. Your eyes will. If you must weigh yourself, do so only once a week. Try to do it at the same time of day and wearing similar clothing as the last time.


Don't totally deny yourself treats if you're craving them. Wait about ten minutes after the craving starts to make sure it's really what you want. Then, if you still want it, look for a lower-calorie choice to try. For instance, when craving chocolate, try a miniature candy bar or low-fat chocolate pudding. Another option is trying Viactiv chocolates. They not only soothe a chocolate craving, but also give you needed calcium.


Good luck.

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I Have been feeling depressed for almost a year now, and I have read nearly all the articles posted about depression, but none of them really help me. I took the first step of talking to a trusted adult, who was one of my former teachers. She tried to help me by calling my mom and referring me to different counselors. But this made my mom very angry. My mom refuses to let me see a counselor, and she is not allowing me to have contact with my teacher either. I don't understand why, but I think it's because my mom feels like I am placing blame on her for my issues. Now I feel so alone because I have no one to talk to. I want to call my teacher, but my mom would be very angry if she found out. What else is there left for me to do if counseling is not an option? I fear I will keep getting more and more depressed like I have been. Please respond to my question, I really need your help!

Sometimes people aren't comfortable with the idea of something being wrong with their loved one. Your mom may be in denial. Try sitting down with her to explain how you're feeling and make sure she knows that you're not blaming her. Ask if she'll consider letting you see your family doctor. They can explain what's going on to your mom and help her to understand the options of treatment.


You might try talking to your school counselor. Explain the situation with your mom to the counselor so they understand that discussing it with her isn't going to help.


You can also try a youth crisis hotline. They're toll-free (so it won't show up on the phone bill) and available 24/7/365. 1-800-448-3000

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I'm on my period right now and I have extremely bad cramps so bad. Like, on a scale 1-10, it's worse than 10! What can I do??!

You can take an over the counter pain reliever. Try to find one specifically for period pain, such as Midol or Pamprin. A warm compress on the area may help as well. Playtex and Thermacare both offer a self-warming stick-on heat patch. I prefer the Playtex one because it seems to last longer. A warm bath may also help. If you can, try to walk around. I've found that it helps to relieve my cramps.


If your cramps are seriously painful and interfering with your life, you may want to consider talking to your gynecologist or family doctor. There are some prescription medications that can help.

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to tanning lotions help speed up the tanning process when your tanning in a tanning bed? thanks for answering me

Depending on the ingredients, they may help speed up the process. For instance, one with oils will help your skin be more attractive to the heat. Just be careful when choosing a lotion. Some might work too well for you and you'll end up with a painful burn.

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I usually sleep really well, but last night I didn't fall asleep until 2 o clock in the morning. I don't know why. I think it might've been because I was talking to this one guy and I really didn't want ot sign off and go to bed but I had too. So i was thinking about him and stuff and I couldn't sleep.
Does anyone have anything that might help me sleep?

Something I've found to work when I can't sleep because I'm thinking too much is writing it down. It helps me to get the thoughts out of my head. You can also try a relaxing bath or a cup of warm milk. I wouldn't suggest trying a sleeping pill unless your doctor recommends it.

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May of 2004 I had a case of bacterial meningitis. Well, I'm starting to have the same symptoms again and it's worrying me. Is it possible to get Meningitis more than once?

Since there are various strains of bacterial meningitis, it may be possible for you to get it again. If you're having symptoms, I would suggest contacting your doctor ASAP. If your family doctor wasn't the one that treated it before, I would highly recommend letting them know that you had it before. For more information on meningitis, I recommend the website below.
http://www.musa.org/

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I have a horrible sleep pattern. It never used to bother me much, but now the realization of how much it can hurt my body has kicked in. I really want to change it, but it's really hard for me.

12:00AM/1:00AM - 5:30 AM
SLEEP

6:25AM - 2:17 PM
SCHOOL

4:00PM - 8:00 PM
SLEEP

Then the whole cycle restarts. I really want to change, but changing a pattern completely out of nowhere is very hard to do. Any advice? I would like to start sleeping around 10:30 or 11:00, but since my body is so used to how I sleep now, those times are too early for me. Plus, I also have a lot of homework and fitness I need to fit in too. Help, please??

I would start by slowly moving your bedtime back and reducing the time you sleep in the afternoon. For instance, today only nap from 4 to 7:45 and then go to bed at 11:45. Do it for a couple days, then move back another 15 minutes, ending your nap at 7:30 and going to bed at 11:30. Keep moving back at 15 minute intervals until you get to a bedtime that allows you to get the sleep your body needs at one time. By doing it gradually, your body will react to the change better.


I would also suggest doing your homework and fitness program as soon as you come in from school. By doing them first, it allows you to have time to relax before bed, which should make it easier for you to sleep.

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