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My life has simply gone from bad to worse. Not in a dramatic sort of way, but gradually. I'm a freshman college girl with no idea as to what she is going to do with her future; this has me stressing over what to do - you see I change my mind about nearly everything from one day, to the next. Today I want to be a vet, but tomorrow I want to be a writer, then the next day I want to be a marine biologist, etc, etc. My parents owe a restaurant to which I am supposed to be “comitted" to, but I don't want to. This makes me feel selfish and irresponsible, plus lazy. I don't like being a waitress and the emotional stress one goes through sometimes is not a joke. My sleeping pattern is f***d up, seeing as how I go to sleep super late (think 3-5am) and wake up at 6:00am to go to class at 7:30, then sleep during the day. I don't go out much which isolates me slightly. I get extremely jealous of my roommate who has been friends with me since 7th grade - she's organized, smart, pretty, funny, social, kind, has a lot of experience in traveling, has worked for important people and attracts guys much better than me. Everything I'm not. The reason why I get hostile feelings towards her is because she reminds me of this everytime I see her. I'm shy, not good at much, get distracted easily, never finish things I start, I forget things easily, I can be dependable, I have the body of a thirteen year old boy, and seem to fail at nearly everything I do. Im fed up with my life and sometimes feel trapped. But these feelings are temporary - they come and go. Sometimes, I get so fed up, that thoughts of not continuing do pass my mind. I feel like nobody needs me and that I'm worthless in more ways than one. I mean I do nothing of importance, I don't help people, so why stay? I just... feel like I'm falling in a hole and I only seem to sink further in, not crawl out.
Hey there!
A lot of people your age face issues of not knowing what they want to do with their lives, but you need to realize that you don't have to have it all figured out right now. You are starting to think about the future, and you should, but just take some deep breaths and relax. You still have time to figure it out. I'm around your age too, and I do know what I want to do with my life, but a lot of my friends don't. It's ok! Just focus on college right now, because if you have an education and college diploma that will be looked at very favorably in the eyes of future employers. Having a college degree doesn't necessarily guarantee a future, but it's the best you can do. Education is what you should focus on right now.
Adequate sleep is tremendously important!! I know when I get too little sleep, I am irritable and in a bad mood, and everything just seems overwhelming. So part of your feelings like you're falling in a hole and being so fed up is probably lack of sleep. You need enough sleep!
I can relate to a lot of your feelings; I used to feel like that A LOT. It's pretty much about attitude. Attitude is everything. Try to maintain a positive attitude and self image. It is something that needs to be learned and constantly practiced and even I struggle with it all the time. When things get too stressful, just take some deep breaths, relax, tell yourself that it's gonna be ok. You'll be ok. It will pass. The difficult times always pass.
As a college freshman, you are just starting your life. Adult life. Life is very hard sometimes and very unfair, and some people seem to have it all, and some people feel worthless and all alone in the world. But you're not alone. You will always have yourself, and that is the one person you can always count on. So now is the time to become the person you would like to live with for the rest of your life.
You are not worthless.
One of my favorite quotes is:
Remember that everyone you encounter was created by divine intelligence, and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such. ~Tara Sophia Mohr.
I'm sure you have met your beautiful self many times in the mirror. You have an important role to play in the universe, so treat yourself as such. No one likes when people treat them bad, or say bad stuff about them, or say they are worthless, but most people are their own worst enemy and say those things to themselves. So don't be mean to yourself! Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is telling myself that the world needs me, and right now I may constantly be knocked down by life and some of the people in my life I must put up with, but one day I will play my important role in the universe. I believe it. So I can never give up, and I don't. So you have to believe you're precious, and you have to learn to love yourself.
I think you should talk to someone. Whether it's a therapist, a close friend, a family member, write in a journal, whatever you think will make you feel better. It helps to just let it all out.
Life is very difficult sometimes, and sometimes literally only for a little bit, and then it gets better. You know things get better. Life has its ups and downs and we all have it. I know what it's like to be shy, I used to be painfully shy. I felt like I was in a prison and isolated from everyone. It didn't help that no one ever took any interest in me or started a conversation. Once you become an adult, you automatically get less shy because you have to. I pulled a full 180 on that one, but I very strongly urge you to go out, and try to meet new people and make new friends, and not let the gloomy feelings get the best of you. You deserve the best life you can have. You deserve to be treated right. Especially you should treat yourself right.
We all feel like completely giving up sometimes and just feeling fed up, and just being like "screw it! I've had enough!" So you're not alone in that. Just take it one day at a time. Tomorrow is another day. Don't think about tomorrow when you feel like it's too much. Just focus on today, make it through today. Get some beauty rest, and then wake up tomorrow and again, take it one day at a time...
One quote also that has been very true for me with my shyness and feeling so incredibly isolated is:
And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
(Anais Nin)
Also, you are an adult, so you don't NEED to work for your parents. Sit down with them and have a calm, frank talk about this. About what you said on here. That's their life; if you want a different life for yourself, you get to choose what you want to do with your life. It's your life. Tell them how you feel.
Good luck!
I wish you all the best always, but only you yourself can give yourself the best life. Try to work on all the negative feelings you have for yourself and please talk to someone. We can't always do it alone.
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
(see how much I talk now? Ha! Seriously, good luck!)
P.S. About what you said, one the reasons you are jealous of your friend is that she attracts guys more than you, well if I know one thing from my guy friends (and I have a lot), a confident girl who is herself and confident in who she is, is the sexiest kind of girl.
Lately I've been feeling really gloomy. I've asked lots of people online for advice, and they suggest I might be depressed. I'm kinda swapping back and forth with the idea, and I've taken test online and they say Im depressed. The thing is, even when I feel well, I just about always prefer depressing stories, movies, songs, anything depressing. I' even seem to enjoy it after I experience pain. My mom was even speaking to me a few months ago how that wasn't normal. I know I've had depression in the past for personal reasons, and I know it was severe then, and I know what I'm feeling now isn't nothing like what is was then. I haven't experienced any kind of tragic event, and this has been going on all week. Is there some way I could find out for sure if I have depression without some multiple test or going off to see a professional? I try too keep this kind of thing from my parents too. Anything I can do besides that?
Hey there!
Do you have depression? Only a doctor can diagnose you with that. Are you depressed? Sounds like it. I am impressed that you are recognizing that you don't feel like yourself these days, and you want to get better. Reading depressing stories, watching depressing movies, and listening to depressing songs can actually be really really good for you when you are in a dark mood. It's good to tap into what you are feeling. I really know my music, since I have been depressed for most of my life. I have songs that I can cry along with, and we know that sometimes all we need is a good cry. I can let it out that way. Sometimes a happy song will help immensely.
Taking a test online can be fairly accurate but also inaccurate as hell sometimes. I honestly think you should go see someone, especially if you don't want to talk to your parents about it. You need to talk to someone. Hear me when I say it. I will say it again, you need to talk to someone.
Keep a journal. For the sad, gloomy times, and also the happy times. You can also focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Maybe take a break from things that you think potentially stress you out. I shut off my internet sometimes, and I just lay in bed and take deep breaths, and listen to the sound of my breathing, and notice my surroundings. For instance, I listen to the sound of the ceiling fan, and watch it, and listen to the sound of my cat purring. Be in the moment. Tomorrow is another day. Sometimes you have to take it one day at a time, sometimes when it gets bad, and it's happened to you, you literally have to take it one hour at a time.
I listen to classical music, soothing songs, or a lot of times sad songs that make me understand what I am feeling. I find that just listening to sounds of nature, like the sound of waves crashing on a stormy beach (there are nature sound albums and online radios have them too), and closing my eyes, and imagining that I am at the beach, and taking deep breaths, helps like you wouldn't believe.
Basically, what I accomplish with the above-mentioned soothing methods is taking some time off for myself whenever possible, not letting my depression get the best of me, and when it does, tap into it, and go to that dark place, and listen to those songs, and cry if it gets bad, and let myself feel, but I always emerge from that place. And I am in the moment! In that very moment I am listening to my breathing, listening to the sound of your own breathing has been known to soothe people, I am listening to great music with relatable lyrics, listening to my cat showing me how much she enjoys being by my side. Or in that moment, I am at the beach, anyone can be there with me in my mind if I want. I think about people that make me happy.
Try to find a hobby, something you are passionate about. Do stuff that makes you happy. Laugh! If you can't laugh, what I do, I make other people laugh, and I laugh with them.
You seem like the type of person that wants to be helped, and therapists will help immensely, but in addition to that, learn ways of coping with gloomy feelings when they are not available to talk. If you don't know how to soothe yourself, tell them! Ask them! They are trained in this stuff! Just make sure you find a good therapist. There are awesome ones, and also very bad ones. You have to be a good match.
Everyone experiences depression at one point in their life. Some people battle it all the time. It is always helpful if you learn what to do when you feel down at any point in your life and know what makes you feel better. It takes time, and you need people to help you. Especially if you have felt severely depressed in the past, it could very possibly get very bad again.
Good luck! You can message me with any additional questions if you want.
I hope you feel awesome soon!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
I am a 20 year old female. As the title sums it up, I really can't stop lying. I make up stories about almost anything and about the silliest things. sometimes I don't realize that I'm lying but now that I do I see how much it is affecting important aspects of my life. My relationship with my boyfriend is being jeopardized by this, and recently my lies have been catching up to me. I don't want to be this person, any advice on how to stop?
The first thing I would tell you is to stop and think before you speak. Do you really want to be telling a lie? I'm not sure why you feel compelled to lie. Is it because you are afraid the truth will hurt or embarrass you, or is it second nature to you by now? If you are afraid the truth will embarrass you, when someone asks you a question, you can choose not to answer, and if you feel compelled to lie, just change the subject.
Lying is a big problem. When you lie to someone, you are withholding the truth, and that prevents you from having a real honest connection with that person because you are hiding something from them and you feel guilty, and it's hard to go around carrying a guilty conscience. So how can you change this?
Well I believe it all comes down to an issue of self control. It's going to be hard to stop lying, but only you really have the power to put an end to this bad habit that is hurting you and others. If you feel like you need professional help with this because it is getting really bad and you have no control over what comes out of your mouth and need to understand why you lie, especially when it serves no purpose, you might wanna see a therapist to discuss this issue.
If you wanna do this on your own, challenge yourself to go for a certain number of days without lying, and then reward yourself. It's hard for the liar because sometimes you tell so many lies that you can't keep track of all of them and it becomes overwhelming and stressful. So by going without lying, the biggest reward will be the gift of a clean conscience, and the relationships you will we able to build based on honesty and trust, and the close connections you will finally be able to feel with those around you by being honest with them and telling them the truth. It's way easier said than done, so I wish you good luck in your efforts and I admire you for looking to change. But if you really try and think before you speak, eventually it will get easier and it will be worth it.
Good luck :)
Hope I helped
Hey 17/f
I'm really sensitive. Like the slightest negative thing said about me and I'll cry inside, and when I get home the water works will come on.
I really want to develop a thick skin but don't know how. What does any one else do?!
You need to believe in yourself and build up your self-confidence. If people bully you, it's because they're insecure and weak and that's why they take it out on others. Tell yourself that you are not a garbage truck, and you are not gonna go around collecting all the trash people feed you. It's gonna take time, but eventually you'll stop caring what other people have to say about you, because you know that you are a wonderful person, and you deserve to be treated right.
When someone hurts you, you can listen to what they have to say, acknowledge and tell yourself what you are feeling, as well as your physical symptoms. For instance, someone says something mean to you, you tell yourself: "I am feeling sad, my throat constricts and I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I feel angry, I feel my muscles tighten," and so forth. After you acknowledge it, absorb it, and understand what you are feeling, you can make the choice not to get involved with these emotions, but just let it go. It helps to understand what happens when you get sad, and know that you have control over your emotions and your reaction.
It takes a couple times of practice, but eventually this method works wonders, and before you know it, bullies just won't get through to you, you won't care what they have to say.
Good luck
Hope I helped :)
My friend wants too kill himself is there anyway I could try and stop him?
You seem like a very caring friend, and what your friend is going through is very painful, and he could use a friend like you. The way to stop him is by telling a responsible adult what is going on, and let the professionals take over. You could try encouraging him to tell someone himself, but if he doesn't listen then you should do it. He will probably reject you at first and be angry with you, but it's the right thing to do, and he needs to get help. Be there for him along the journey to recovery. Hope he gets better.
Good luck :)
I am petrfied of flying and this week I'm going America.
I will yell at anyone that reminds me of flying, I am so scared that i keep thinking it's going to crash. I have bought tablets that'll put me to sleep but I feel as though they won't help I'm so scared that I can't even explain. I will go into panic mode and I know it, I won't be able to read a book or listen to music because i'll feel like I need to hear everything that goes on incase some thing happens. Please help me try and overcome this before I fly !
If you go onto the plane with the conviction that you'll go into a panic mode, then the chances are that you probably will. I was really afraid the first time I boarded a plane, and when it took off, I was numb. But eventually I just forgot I was even on a plane. There are lots of things to do there that will distract you.
Instead of imagining the worst, try to relax, and tell yourself that it's gonna be fine. You still have lots of dreams you need to pursue, lots of things you still need to accomplish in life, and it's not gonna end here. Life without taking risks is boring.
Remember that it's okay to be afraid, just don't give in to the fear. Rise above it, be courageous. If you are going crazy in your head, you may want to visit your doctor, and ask for a prescription of a sedative such as Alprazolam.
I've been there, and I've survived it, and let me tell you that after a few minutes it wears off. Tell yourself to relax, and enjoy your time on the flight listening to music, watching movies, talking with your neighbors, and not focusing on the fact that you're on a plane.
Good luck
Hope I helped :)
I am only 12, and I have only been emotionally dead for about 3 years. I only told my mom today about it but she doesn't believe it. She doesn't believe that all the smiles, laughs, tears, pain, anger have been fake. I hate it. I hate that I can't do anything to stop this or cure this, but I've grown not to care. But I WANT to care. I do. I just can't.
I also felt like that a little less than two years ago. I was severely traumatized by a murder, and I turned to stone, literally. No body believed me, and they thought I was only saying it to get attention. I didn't know it could be cured. But it can be. I strongly urge you to go get help. In my case, I had to be given medication (not because of that) and suddenly I started to feel again. I started to love, and care, and be human again.
You probably witnessed or experienced a traumatic event, and you've never gotten over it. Sit down with your parents and explain to them that it's true, and you want to get help. If they don't believe it's true, you can use my example, such things exist. I think turning to stone might be a way your brain tries protecting you from experiencing the terrible trauma again. It's not normal though, and it's so freaking annoying. I know all about it. People always asked annoying questions. "If you can't feel, then why are you laughing?" blah blah blah...
You don't know what you're missing out on! Get help now, and start living again!
Good luck, I hope things get better fast :)
hi.how are you?i am going through a really bad time.i am 22 years old and in a relationship with a girl from past 3 years we fight alot but from last 17 days she has started loving a friend of mine and she told me this herself.she even told this to that friend of mine but now he is ignoring her because he is in love with some one else.i love this girl alot and seriously cant live without her but she is all the time talking about that friend of mine and crying because of him.this thing is hurting me alot i feel like killing my self.pls help me out of this.
Hey there! I know how awful it feels when your partner suddenly doesn't love you anymore. I know the awful feeling of rejection and I know about the pain. You have to remember that you deserve the best girl out there. This one isn't worth your time anymore. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally and only you. And believe me, she is out there, and waiting for you. If your girlfriend treats you anything but as a first priority which in this case you're not her priority at all, then it's time to think about ending the relationship. Why should you settle for something less than the best? It will be painful living without her but the minute you will look into those eyes of your true lover it will all be worth it. I am exactly quoting a lot of people I know that have gone through what you have, and now have had their fairy tale ending. It was only made possible because they left those jerks they were with. Remember she isn't worth your time, and certainly isn't worth your life.
Good luck and I hope things get better :)
SORRY THIS IS LONG IN ADVANCE . Okay so I am a 14 year old girl & am going to the 9th grade . For most of my life I have these moments when I wake up and just am in a bad mood for absolutely no reason . I am no longer cutting & my friends are helping me with my drinking & drug problem . I know you're probably thinking what is a 14 year old doing that stuff for . Well to tell you the turth i do it to escape the real problem . I have a great boyfriend who supports me 100% & a lot of friends that to as well . I can go from laughing & havimg fun to a dark place where i just get a blank look on my face & anger , sadness,& hate just take over & i have no reason as to why , but i'd really like to get better for my friends & myself . When I tell my parents about it they just say that im acting . they know that i have cut before but i nnever went to therapy to talk to anyone about . & as much as i hate talking about my feelings i even asked them to send me to one so that i could get help . they fight all the time & take it out on me which make me grab the ciroc & the vodka & the knife . Please help me .
It's very tough being a teenager, but what you're going through seems to be more than that. You are very smart to realize that you need to get help, and you are brave to stop cutting. I know how hard that is. It's not fair that you should have to live under such terrible circumstances. We're not doctors, so we can't tell you if you're bipolar. I am bipolar, and even though I had a feeling for a long time that I had the illness, I couldn't know for sure until I was diagnosed. I suggest you go see a psychiatrist, and describe to him what you just described here. You should definitely go see a therapist. The right therapist can change your life. Sit down with your parents, and explain to them that this is for real, and you desperately need to go see someone. If they don't listen to you, talk to an adult you trust about your situation.
I sincerely hope you feel better soon, and your life is great again. You deserve to be happy. Good luck :)
I'm so confused. My husband is the most wonderful person in the world and would do anything for me when things in our relationship are good. But when he gets upset it's like he can't handle it. He completly looses his cool. He yells, and tells me the lost horrible things to get to me. But when we are not arguing he's a completly different person. He can go from being nice and happy to being angry. He acts violent to other people when he gets mad. He has gotten into a fight with his brother numerous time over stupid things. He gets angry over very stupid things. He'll throw a tantrum, scream, cuss, punch holes in the wall and knock things down. He goes from being the nicest person ever to very mean and angry. He tried to fight a security guard at a scool event (he's a teacher/coach) because he went through a metal detector and he forgot he had a knife in his back pocket and the security guard wouldn't let him into the track meet. He always has a pocket knife in his back pocket. He got suspended from his job because of it. When he gets angry he has this scary loosk in his eyes, it's like he loses control and becomes a different person, he just acts crazy, but only when he gets mad. Other people have called him crazy and bi-polar. One minute he's happy then he'll turn around and start shouting at whatever ot whoever he's mad at, screaming & cussing. Do you think he should see a Dr? Is there something wrong with him. Do you think he has a mental disorder or something else?
I'd like to correct the person below me. Bipolar people can be very violent and dangerous while manic. I am bipolar, and I know a lot about the illness.
Those people aren't doctors, so they can't decide that your husband is bipolar. There is definitely something very wrong with him, and both you guys are suffering terribly. You shouldn't be. If he has bipolar and it is not treated it will only get worse. Do yourself and your husband the biggest favor, and take him to see a psychiatrist. He needs help, whether he has anger issues or bipolar.
Good luck :)
God? Family? Friends? BF/GF?
Hahaha...
I can't trust anyone...
and i'm just so plain old alone.
So trapped here.
Nobody even knows the real me.
I DON'T EVEN know who i am anymore.
And i would end my life... except i fear death...
Ironic, huh?
So i'm stuck here.
And my only question is...
not what can i do to feel better
or can someone help me...
but...
my question is
simply
has anybody else felt like this?
This lost? this broken? this empty? this alone?
Well, have you?
I can totally relate to your situation. I am in a similar situation right now. I can't do much to help myself, other than taking my medication because I'm bipolar. I find that the best thing to do is get help, and count your blessings. Being grateful is the key to being happy. You also need to know that you deserve the best life possible.
It's hard to trust when you've been betrayed and your heart's been broken so many times. In order to heal, you need to start from the very beginning. Learn to love yourself. That way, even when you're all alone, you are confident and comfortable with who you are as a person, and that attracts others to you, and you'll see that there are good people out there who are trustworthy.
This really sucks, but this too shall pass, and if you go get help for your depression you'll be a new person with a new lease on life. Don't settle for this! Fight until you are happy again. Don't give up; if you give it the chance, your life will be great again. Trust me.
Feel free to e-mail me at: alexisgirlie@gmail.com or leave a message in my inbox if you need any support whatsoever. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon :)
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon :)
Does taking pills and getting really drunk, while over a bridge sounds like a good idea to kill myself? I have two options drown or die from the drug over does. I know that I have a mental health issue (depression. I have asked for help and have been take antidepressents. They somewat help. I also learned that I have another mental health issue that came with the depression.....Socail axiety. Everyday I feel like their is no point to my life. I have a good job, good family, but I have no meaning/nothing.
Don't settle for a meaningless life, get help for your depression (and make sure that they're really helping.) Jess pointed out some great things about life, and the way you live right now is not what I call a "life".
If you give it the chance, and work hard to combat your awful depression, one day you're going to be really happy again. I am talking from experience. I used to feel like you a few months ago, only I couldn't decide between overdosing and jumping off from a building. Today it makes me cry to think that I wanted to kill myself, because slowly but surely, my life is turning out awesome. You do not deserve to die! You deserve to have the most meaningful, incredible life possible. Do you really want to cut your life short, or do you want everything to work out for you?
Both overdosing and drowning are extremely painful deaths, and every single one of my friends who've overdosed have really regretted it. It's not you that wants to commit suicide, it's the wish of the animal that has taken you captive. Don't surrender! Dig deep in your heart, and tell yourself that there's hope. There are lots of people out there who really care about you, including me.
You can visit my website www.survivethesuicideurge.org for more great tips on how to survive the urge, or call 1800 SUICIDE (784 2477) or 1800 273 TALK (8255), and let us help you. You do not deserve to live with this pain, and it's impossible to deal with it alone.
With the RIGHT help, it is possible to survive this and be happy again.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to e-mail me at alexisgirlie@gmail.com if you have any further questions.
Hi,
I have been reflecting on a few times in my past of which I don't really understand my behavior.
I went through major depression when I was a teenager - maybe that has something to do with how crazy I got?
Anyway, I recall times where I went to parties and I acted really crazy. I remember getting really excited whenever I arrived to a party and I remember always having the idea that I'm going to have a lot of fun tonight. Most of the time I related fun to acting absolutely crazy. I feel embarrassed by how off the wall I would get. I don't think many people would invite me a second time to their party no matter how close we were. I don't understand why I would act the way I did. I just know I had adrenaline inside of me bursting at the seams. I feel that same sort of speed whenever I get really upset. Even now, I struggle controlling myself. Sometimes I get so heated, I do something really stupid and at times, I throw tantrums. I have gotten better at restraining myself - I can stay absolutely calm whenever another person is trash-talking me. Although calm, I still feel the pressure building up inside of me. I know at moments I can appear insanely crazy to people. Other than those once out of a blue moon times, I am a very relaxed normal person. I wanted to know if there's a diagnosis for my behavior or is it just bad nerves?
I'm bipolar, and I get a lot of highs, so I can relate to what you're describing. I don't believe those feelings will go away on its own. You need to get professional help. You do not deserve to live like this, so do yourself the biggest favor you can, and discuss this with your doctor. It is possible for you to have a successful life, but you need to get help first. Good luck :)
13/f
I know I have a good life. I have a family that loves me, I have a lot of good friends, I get good grades in school,etc. but for some reason, I still get depressed a lot. A couple years ago, I was having extreme self esteem issues (which led to an eating disorder) and problems with my relationship with my parents and I started cutting myself. And the only people I could talk to about it weren't helping me in the way I needed. My parents don't understand what I went through then. They thought I was overreacting when I tried getting help from them.
It was hard, but I finally started to pull myself out of that state. The thing that helped the most was distracting myself with school and extracurricular activities. I've finally realized that I don't want to that anymore, but I still get depressed a lot and I get really moody around everybody. My relationship with my parents has gotten better in some ways, but I get in fights with them a lot. I can't help it sometimes.
I was doing a lot better this year because I started my freshman year (I'm year ahead in school) and I was busy with band too. I met a ton of new people and I started becoming friends with a senior. We got really close and we flirted a lot too. He made it seem like he really cared about me. And then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought he needed a little space and that he would talk to me when he was ready. Days turned into weeks which turned into months. And I got no answer. I spent 6 months thinking that I did something wrong. I recently found out that he did something similar to my best friend too. But even knowing that he is a jerk hasn't made me feel any better.
Maybe I just set myself up for failure. I try to have confidence, but I get my hopes up and as much as I try, I am never as good or can compare to the people around me. I just got through applying for an student engineering camp through a university. I got this idea in my head that I could actually get in. I worked so hard, but I know it's going to be good enough. I don't know how I would deal with not making it in. I don't want to be the person I was 2 years ago. I guess I just need somebody to tell me everything's gonna be okay.
First of all, sweetie, you should know that it's not your fault that you're depressed, but you seem to be working very hard to combat it. That's good. It's not fair that you should have to deal with all that, you are so young, and have your whole life ahead of you. If getting help before didn't help you, then those people aren't right for you. Finding the right therapist will change your life. You can take out a book about DBT from your local library. DBT has wonderful tips on how to deal with depression without cutting. I'm bipolar, so I get depressed a lot, but I've discovered two tips that really help me overcome it. 1:Keeping to a healthy diet and exercising. It is crucial to your mental health, in ways that you can't imagine. It boosts your self esteem, and makes you feel glad to be alive. 2: laughter; laughing is a great way to combat depression. It's like a temporary medicine.
Always remember that if you fight to reclaim your special place in this world, and fight for things you really want, you will be happy again, and things won't just be "okay", they'll be great! Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon :)
How far can I go after beating depression? Is there still hope for someone after facing that to ever be really successful? I'm 18 btw. I know it's stupid but my perfectionism and depression have caused my time in high school to just be a downward spiral. I'm going to community college in the Fall, but I'm planning on transferring after 1-2 years to a good university and etc.
But I just feel defeated already. I'm trying hard to focus on the present instead of only seeing the end point, reaching my dreams, getting up to my PhD, getting in relationship (never have), and getting a good job. But I don't even know if it's possible when I've messed up like this. It's like, I'm very hard working and meticulous when I'm focused, but when I'm not it's easy for me to procrastinate. You know, the whole perfectionism thing (I need to learn how to just be a high achiever, and accept my mistakes in the past and etc but I don't know how to not constantly feel ashamed of myself), except I'm mainly facing the downsides of perfectionism right now. Please help, I know it's pathetic but I don't feel comfortable around anyone else to share such personal things, so here I am asking strangers on Y!A. I've started going to a therapist (a bit too late, though) but I only see her once a week. I just have so much to get off my chest and nobody to tell that I feel comfortable to tell, cause I'm afraid of them using my insecurities against me or just criticizing me for things I already criticize myself for
It is definitely possible to be really successful after depression. I've suffered from awful depression and suicidal thoughts, and several near attempts, and I'm bipolar, and my life is slowly turning out to be what I've always dreamed of. My dreams are coming true even faster than I thought they would. So yes, with hard work, and proper skills on how to make the best of who you are, you can go as far as you dream. Don't ever give up on yourself, and don't let anyone bring you down. You are a queen, and should be treated like one. Good luck :)
My anger problems are'nt getting better, I feel like I want to punch a wall or beat something up, I can't speak to friends because they wouldnt understand, I can't speak to family because I would get more angry.
Alexis jealousy and anger do not mix.
My anger problems are really really bad and I just can't find a way to relax and enjoy my life when I'm always angry all the time.
I dont know if im bipolar or if I'm just really fucked up. I just get so angry at such little things, I can't even look at myself in the mirror without getting angry at myself for being the way I am.
everything I look at makes me want to scream for no reason, I can't even look at the people I love without thinking im a failure to them, I let them down, I let myself down, I let them watch me ruin my life, I let my anger get the best of me...
Wow! You certainly seem to be in a lot of pain. If you think you might have bipolar, talk to your doctor about it. I'm bipolar, and because my meds are still being adjusted, I have those crazy ups and downs. My highs are usually full of terrible uncontrollable anger, and I know exactly what it means to not be able to control your anger. First of all, you should always remember that your anger isn't you, and it isn't your fault. You are trying very hard to get better, and you are really brave. You are NOT fucked up. Don't say that to yourself. I believe there's a good chance that you might be bipolar, but I'm not a doctor. You need to get help, because you don't deserve to live under such unbearable conditions. You deserve a wonderful life, and no one has the right to deny you that. I highly suggest that when you're calm, you talk to your family and friends about how you don't mean to hurt them, but you don't have any control over your anger. Go get a good therapist, you'll be surprised at how much she'll be able to help. The fact that you asked this question, shows that you are a wonderful person, who hates hurting people, and you are looking for ways to get better. I'm really proud of you. Good luck :)
Thank you so much for your advice. Would you mind telling me how you managed to pull out of the depression and situation? I have tried talking to numerous resources for help, but there really is none. I have tried everything and nothing has worked or helped. Even the medications for depression have not helped. In fact, it is still getting worse with each day. I would enter a psychiatric facility if I thought it would help, but that would change nothing and make everything actually worse for me. Thank you so much for your kind and sensible thoughts.
First of all, I personally don't believe in going to a mental hospital unless it is really crucial, like someone is very severely depressed and refuses treatment, or someone is very suicidal. I've been hospitalized twice, and it has only made me worse. Climbing out of depression took me over a year, and after a year, the doctor realized that I'm bipolar, so my whole world came crashing down again. I was on several antidepressants, Abilify, Zoloft, Lexapro, plus I was misdiagnosed a few times, so the psychiatrist prescribed me meds that made me progressively worse. I don't believe in taking medication, unless it is absolutely crucial, because the side effects can destroy a person. If your doctor believes you need to be on an antidepressant, than you should. If the medication doesn't make you feel better, than it's not the right one for you. Antidepressants can actually make a person's depression worsen, or cause them to become suicidal. Zoloft, for instance, has helped many people overcome depression, but it made me suicidal, and landed me in the hospital for the second time. For starters, you need to make sure that your medication works for you. Everyone is different. I overcame my depression through very very very hard work, but guess what! It paid off! I practice DBT a lot, which works wonders. Unfortunately, because I'm suffering from bipolar, the depression can return at any time, so I constantly have to fight it. But I'm really happy, because thanks to the lessions I learn in DBT, and the queen treatment I give myself, I know that I'm destined for greatness. I always stand up for myself, and fight the people who try to bring me down. I know that I am irreplaceable, and I deserve to have the best life I can have. I know my rights, and I never settle for less than I deserve. Above all, I know that I deserve to be happy and I deserve the realization of my every dream. You need to believe that too. Also, I know that my illness isn't my fault, and it's impossible to deal with it alone, so I'm open to any help I can get. I've been to awful therapists, one of them was really evil, so I understand you're predicament. I used to feel like that a lot, and I won't lie, I still feel like nothing will help sometimes, but then I sit down and write a song about it, and I feel better instantly! It's of utmost importance that you find a good therapist. Someone who's right for you. I don't know which question you asked, because I answer so many about depression and suicide, so if you want to e-mail me at alexisgirlie@gmail.com and tell me which question was yours, I can try to give you direct pointers on what to do. Overcoming depression isn't as easy as 1-2-3. It's very hard work, but it pays off, and turns you into a wonderful understanding person, who's loved by all. It gives you a more meaningful life, and you learn to appreciate the little things in life. I wish no one would ever have to go through that, it's crushing, and tears a person apart. But fight! Fight until you're happy again, because one day, you will! Good luck :)
P.S. Whenever I start to feel down, I listen to some upbeat music or I treat myself to a hot bath or great snack, and I instantly feel better. Exercising and playing sports are also great ways to improve the way you feel. Make sure you're on a healthy diet. Junk food can kill you. Feel better soon :)
I wanna cut my wrists,and all because my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore,I need help because I know it doesn't make any sense.
People who want to self harm are in really awful pain, but self harm is not the solution. It's really great that you realize that it's not normal and you need help. I congratulate you for being very smart and seeing beneath the pain. It's really painful what you're going through, and I suggest maybe you should have a talk with your boyfriend about this. If he really doesn't love or respect you anymore, than he doesn't deserve to be with a special person like you. You deserve your boyfriend's unwavering love, respect, support, and trust. If any of these is missing, there's something wrong with the relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, and I'm rolling in unbearable pain. I can understand what you feel when your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore, but it might not be true. I highly suggest you go get help for your self injurious ideation. Even if everything works out with your boyfriend, you need to learn the DBT skills of how to deal with pain without cutting. You'll be so happy you did. They are skills for life, and once you start applying them in everyday life, you'll be a new person! You'll know how to cope with things from losing $10 to losing a loved one. I'm studying them, and it really helps. Always believe in yourself, and don't let anyone treat you any lower than a queen ever! Because you are one! If you have any further questions about this, you can e-mail me at alexisgirlie@gmail.com. Good luck and feel better soon :)
And how I could have done things better, so I wouldn't be this stressed out and unhappy. I basically have ruined my life. I feel like my life only progressively gets worse, because I allow it. I was happiest in early childhood, things started progressively getting worse after elementary school, all because I allowed it. I allowed myself to procrastinate and not participate in enough school events and have enough hobbies and that's been my downfall. I'm 18 now and i'm just so mad and I have dreams but how can I just forget the past?? but I want to but it's just so painful looking back, because as a kid I thought I'd have the typical teen experience with friends and everything and yet I didn't do that. I know some things are out of my control but I feel like I mostly could have prevented it. I just don't know how to move on even though I want to, but its like I'm just having this stupid mental block. I think this is due a lot to me being a perfectionist, and my parents basically expecting perfection even though they deny it (love is only conditional. now that i'm failing one subject they don't like me as much) and it just makes me like.. shut down, basically. i don't even have good social skills cause i've spent so much of my childhood on the computer. cause nobody really invited me for stuff and etc. and now i procrastinated applying to colleges so i'm going to community college even though my grades could have gotten me somewhere good, so now i have to do really good in CC and transfer. but i just need to get rid of this self sabotaging mindset and it's really hard cause i can't go to anyone, i dont have any best friends or anything, or even good friends. i don't think i'm this crazy weird person, i just have bad intimacy issues. i greatly fear getting close to someone and then them leaving me because they don't want to hear my problems so i keep my problems to myself. i've started going to a therapist but i hate how it's only once a week. i really hate being a human, i wish i could be more in control of my actions and not be led by emotions like I allow myself to be
You can't change the past, but you can start building a wonderful future, even if the past was difficult. You seem to be suffering from low self esteem. Start believing in yourself, and your ability to make this world a better place just by being here. You are a priceless gem, and deserve the best life possible! If you are confident in yourself, you will attract others to you! Never settle for less than you deserve! Write a list of great things about you and what makes you special, and read it when you're down. It's great that you're seeing a therapist, and for more help you can start learning about DBT online, or get a book about it. It's really helpful, and will change your life! Good luck, and always remember "Carpe Diem!" It's a very important to apply in your life :)
Father:
My husband donbt love me anymore, I really want to leave from his life.
I am fed up with his anger, his hate his silence.
Help me
I have a son of 3 years, I want to kill myself but whenever I look at his face, I cant do it.
But I cant live such life .
Help me
I would suggest that you leave your husband immediately. You are a wonderful person, and you deserve much better than him. It may seem very scary, and you may be afraid to leave him, but he is very harmful to your mental health, and you need to be strong at least for your son's sake. He needs you to be there for him! Please go get help for your depression. Why should you feel that you are living against your will? I remember when I was really suicidal, but decided that I had to live for my family's sake. Every day was murder, and whenever my family hurt me, I felt so betrayed, because I only lived for their sake! This is no way to live! You'll be surprised to hear that you can love your life with all your heart even after severe depression and strong suicidal feelings! Your life is really unbearable right now, and I understand your emotional state, because I've been there. I've held the mountain of pills in my hand, I've nearly jumped down 10 floors to the ground, I've held destructive items in my hand so many times, all those times I was alone. I realize today that alone it's not possible to survive, no matter how strong you are. You say that you can't live like this, and guess what, you shouldn't live like this! Fight for your rights! You deserve the best life you can have, and anyone who brings you down, does not deserve to be with you. It's very scary to leave your husband, especially if he's the one to provide for you. My dad was behaving similiar to your husband, and my mom was really afraid to leave him. Because of that, she and all her kids suffered unimaginably. One day she finally found the courage, and that's what led us all on the path to true healing. Take a look for yourself. When he lived with us, I was a broken, suicidal, severely depressed girl. Today I'm glowing. Do it for yourself. Do it for your son. You deserve the right to be happy, and you light up this world. With the right treatment, you'll have a new lease on life, and be able to be a stronger and better mommy to your son! I know that you won't disappoint him! Good luck :)