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humorist-workshop
To know for sure
Lately I've been feeling really gloomy. I've asked lots of people online for advice, and they suggest I might be depressed. I'm kinda swapping back and forth with the idea, and I've taken test online and they say Im depressed. The thing is, even when I feel well, I just about always prefer depressing stories, movies, songs, anything depressing. I' even seem to enjoy it after I experience pain. My mom was even speaking to me a few months ago how that wasn't normal. I know I've had depression in the past for personal reasons, and I know it was severe then, and I know what I'm feeling now isn't nothing like what is was then. I haven't experienced any kind of tragic event, and this has been going on all week. Is there some way I could find out for sure if I have depression without some multiple test or going off to see a professional? I try too keep this kind of thing from my parents too. Anything I can do besides that?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
The thing i noticed was that you had depression in the past. if im wrong, then i hope you dont take it personally. i dont know you so i wont know what you are actually experiencing.
but, from my personal experience, depression can be ... addicting? like, depression is not something that can be cured in a day. it's a process that can take months, years. i suffered depression for a while and had a crippling fear of rejection. bt finally, i decided to face it and realized my fear was unfounded. slowly i felt my sadness subsided and i no longer had any reason to stay depressed.
but the funny thing was a little part of me didn't want to let it go. i had been depressed for so long that i felt the sadness was the only thing i had left of me. it was my identity, my blanket, my emotions, my idea of how my life should be, perpetually sad. if im not sad, then what is left of me? even though i was free of my stressors and problems, i still had days when i worried for no reason, cried for no reason, looking for reasons to be stressed or worried or sad. i know, it's weird, but i had been sad for so long, i was uncomfortable with the loss of sadness.
eventually, though, i went out a lot more, became more focused in my goals, became more familiar with being happy and content. i replaced that sadness with a different feeling, that's it.
maybe it's not your story, but if it is, i want you to know you're not the only one. if it's not, i hope you find comfort in life. good luck!
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Maybe answer a doctors survey online.
But here's my thoughts.
A week? Maybe its a faze or Just a bad week. I know people say this but 90% of the time its true.
You seem to possibly have actual depression which can lead to suicide. Or not having a stable mind. Robin Williamsccommitted suicide and no one knew he had depression.
I wouldn't keep hiding it I'd go to a therapist and talk it out
This is important because suicide can't be taken away
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The only true way to know is to have your doctor screen you for depression. It is a painless exam usually done along with a complete physical to rule out any organic reason for feeling as you do. The screening itself is usually a dozen or so questions your doctor will ask you.
Depression is a very strange illness. If you are like me and suffered with it undiagnosed for any length of time it becomes your normal. Being depressed was my normal for I was depressed or lived in a depressed state for many years. Then something happened to throw me into a deep depression and I asked for help.
This is called hitting bottom and is the closest you might ever want to come to having a nervous breakdown you ever want to come to. I do not recommend waiting for something like what happened to me happen to you before getting screened and getting help, for it was very frightening.
My advice is to see your doctor, get screened then follow your doctor's advice.
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Experiencing tragic and 'sad' situations and environments via the media of the performing arts (music, theatre, tv, movies etc) and/or literature is not in itself an indication of depression. It's as old as literature and the arts themselves. We 'experience' it in a safe and controlled way. As a third-party. We empathise and sympathise with the characters,but we do not feel the same level of trauma and gut-wrenching misery that they are experiencing within the framework of the fictional piece. That's WHY we have weepy-movies, tragic novels, tragic opera, sad songs etc etc. It's a way of connecting with the darker and dramatic corners of the human condition, without actually visiting them in person. I can appreciate that parents would not like to see their child dwelling on depressing material. They'd of course much rather see you more 'up-beat' and lively and visibly enjoying yourself. You seem to be familiar with diagnosed depression already? Aware that a truthfully answered 'test' can indicate depression (this is a standard procedure with doctors in the UK as a first line of identifying depression). But you have said that 'this time' it's not so severe? You may well be using the 'depressing stories' as a way of processing your thoughts. And as we've said, this is pretty much the entire reason for the existence of such material. OK. I'm assuming you've found an authentic test online, not some crackpot checklist with no provenence? Does it have values you can attach for 'Severity' and 'Frequency' (eg some days in the last month, most days, every day...?). If so, take it again. But really force yourself to answer them AS IF YOU WERE GOING TO HAND IT TO YOUR DOCTOR, and he/she was going to act on it. If you're still rating up near 'Severely Depressed' go an see your doctor straight away. If you are rating much lower then it might well be something you can work through yourself? If there's a similar test for something with a name like 'General Anxiety Disordrers' take that too. The symptoms of anxiety and depression frequently overlap. But unlike clinical depression, anxiety disorders are often relieved by identifying the sources of your anxiety and trying to resolve, or at least understand them. Clinical depression is a harder nut to crack, as you are no doubt aware?
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Hey there!
Do you have depression? Only a doctor can diagnose you with that. Are you depressed? Sounds like it. I am impressed that you are recognizing that you don't feel like yourself these days, and you want to get better. Reading depressing stories, watching depressing movies, and listening to depressing songs can actually be really really good for you when you are in a dark mood. It's good to tap into what you are feeling. I really know my music, since I have been depressed for most of my life. I have songs that I can cry along with, and we know that sometimes all we need is a good cry. I can let it out that way. Sometimes a happy song will help immensely.
Taking a test online can be fairly accurate but also inaccurate as hell sometimes. I honestly think you should go see someone, especially if you don't want to talk to your parents about it. You need to talk to someone. Hear me when I say it. I will say it again, you need to talk to someone.
Keep a journal. For the sad, gloomy times, and also the happy times. You can also focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. Maybe take a break from things that you think potentially stress you out. I shut off my internet sometimes, and I just lay in bed and take deep breaths, and listen to the sound of my breathing, and notice my surroundings. For instance, I listen to the sound of the ceiling fan, and watch it, and listen to the sound of my cat purring. Be in the moment. Tomorrow is another day. Sometimes you have to take it one day at a time, sometimes when it gets bad, and it's happened to you, you literally have to take it one hour at a time.
I listen to classical music, soothing songs, or a lot of times sad songs that make me understand what I am feeling. I find that just listening to sounds of nature, like the sound of waves crashing on a stormy beach (there are nature sound albums and online radios have them too), and closing my eyes, and imagining that I am at the beach, and taking deep breaths, helps like you wouldn't believe.
Basically, what I accomplish with the above-mentioned soothing methods is taking some time off for myself whenever possible, not letting my depression get the best of me, and when it does, tap into it, and go to that dark place, and listen to those songs, and cry if it gets bad, and let myself feel, but I always emerge from that place. And I am in the moment! In that very moment I am listening to my breathing, listening to the sound of your own breathing has been known to soothe people, I am listening to great music with relatable lyrics, listening to my cat showing me how much she enjoys being by my side. Or in that moment, I am at the beach, anyone can be there with me in my mind if I want. I think about people that make me happy.
Try to find a hobby, something you are passionate about. Do stuff that makes you happy. Laugh! If you can't laugh, what I do, I make other people laugh, and I laugh with them.
You seem like the type of person that wants to be helped, and therapists will help immensely, but in addition to that, learn ways of coping with gloomy feelings when they are not available to talk. If you don't know how to soothe yourself, tell them! Ask them! They are trained in this stuff! Just make sure you find a good therapist. There are awesome ones, and also very bad ones. You have to be a good match.
Everyone experiences depression at one point in their life. Some people battle it all the time. It is always helpful if you learn what to do when you feel down at any point in your life and know what makes you feel better. It takes time, and you need people to help you. Especially if you have felt severely depressed in the past, it could very possibly get very bad again.
Good luck! You can message me with any additional questions if you want.
I hope you feel awesome soon!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
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I recommend you see a therapist who can help you sort out your feelings and see more clearly. With that being said, don't feel like there is anything wrong with you for tending toward dark things. Sad music for example, is just as beautiful and moving as brighter, more conventionally pleasing music. Look at your emotions this way. Have compassion for both the good and the bad. In time, that will automatically make the bad feelings not feel so bad after all.
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