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My life has simply gone from bad to worse. Don't know what to do
My life has simply gone from bad to worse. Not in a dramatic sort of way, but gradually. I'm a freshman college girl with no idea as to what she is going to do with her future; this has me stressing over what to do - you see I change my mind about nearly everything from one day, to the next. Today I want to be a vet, but tomorrow I want to be a writer, then the next day I want to be a marine biologist, etc, etc. My parents owe a restaurant to which I am supposed to be “comitted" to, but I don't want to. This makes me feel selfish and irresponsible, plus lazy. I don't like being a waitress and the emotional stress one goes through sometimes is not a joke. My sleeping pattern is f***d up, seeing as how I go to sleep super late (think 3-5am) and wake up at 6:00am to go to class at 7:30, then sleep during the day. I don't go out much which isolates me slightly. I get extremely jealous of my roommate who has been friends with me since 7th grade - she's organized, smart, pretty, funny, social, kind, has a lot of experience in traveling, has worked for important people and attracts guys much better than me. Everything I'm not. The reason why I get hostile feelings towards her is because she reminds me of this everytime I see her. I'm shy, not good at much, get distracted easily, never finish things I start, I forget things easily, I can be dependable, I have the body of a thirteen year old boy, and seem to fail at nearly everything I do. Im fed up with my life and sometimes feel trapped. But these feelings are temporary - they come and go. Sometimes, I get so fed up, that thoughts of not continuing do pass my mind. I feel like nobody needs me and that I'm worthless in more ways than one. I mean I do nothing of importance, I don't help people, so why stay? I just... feel like I'm falling in a hole and I only seem to sink further in, not crawl out.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
TO start with it sounds as if you have several things going on here. First some of what your wrote sounds like depression. This would be normal for a freshman to suffer with a bit of clinical depression. You have a bit of homesickness and then add to that the rigors of college and it is easy enough to fall into a depressive state. The fact that you are not sleeping adds to the depression as well as causing problems related to sleep deprivation and being out of sync with the rest of the world.
You also have a problem related to self-esteem. You say you have the body of a 13 year old boy. This tells me you believe your flat chested. There are a lot of guys out there that happen to like small breasted women and there are ways to dress that actually highlight that fact in a very stunning way. Your also old enough to enhance your breast size if you want. My advice is not to for if not done properly you will hate the results.
What I suggest is as follows. Go to the campus health center and see a doctor and asked to be screened for depression. It is painless and the doctor will also perform a physical to rule out any other cause for how you are feeling. Everything you have written about goes directly back to what I know are symptoms of depression and sleep deprivation. In your case the two are a circular fix one and the other will be corrected. Once the two main problems are correct your concentration will come back, you will feel better about yourself and you will be able to concentrate and complete projects on time.
As for being lost, not knowing what you want. That is fairly normal for a freshman which is why you do not have to declare a major until the end of next year. What you can do is go to your class advisor and ask for help in finding out just what you are best suited for. There are tests you can take that will point you in a direction that you will very likely be thinking of or be very comfortable with.
As far as joining the family business goes. You are a young adult now and you will be a more mature adult when you graduate. If the family business is not your idea of how you want to spend the rest of your life. Then don't go back to it.
Every parent who builds a business does so thinking they are building something for their children's future and there's well. Not every child is cut out to join the family business and shouldn't. If it is a good business mom and dad can sell it when they are ready to retire. There is no law that say a child must take over the family business and operate it in their parents retirement for them.
My advice here is to let your parents know you will not be returning after college to work in their business and to learn to operate it. start telling them this now so it does not come as a surprise to them when you graduate.
Most important is my advice to see a doctor and be screened for depression for I feel if you are suffering with depression. Getting control of that will solve most all of the other problems you write about.
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Hey there!
A lot of people your age face issues of not knowing what they want to do with their lives, but you need to realize that you don't have to have it all figured out right now. You are starting to think about the future, and you should, but just take some deep breaths and relax. You still have time to figure it out. I'm around your age too, and I do know what I want to do with my life, but a lot of my friends don't. It's ok! Just focus on college right now, because if you have an education and college diploma that will be looked at very favorably in the eyes of future employers. Having a college degree doesn't necessarily guarantee a future, but it's the best you can do. Education is what you should focus on right now.
Adequate sleep is tremendously important!! I know when I get too little sleep, I am irritable and in a bad mood, and everything just seems overwhelming. So part of your feelings like you're falling in a hole and being so fed up is probably lack of sleep. You need enough sleep!
I can relate to a lot of your feelings; I used to feel like that A LOT. It's pretty much about attitude. Attitude is everything. Try to maintain a positive attitude and self image. It is something that needs to be learned and constantly practiced and even I struggle with it all the time. When things get too stressful, just take some deep breaths, relax, tell yourself that it's gonna be ok. You'll be ok. It will pass. The difficult times always pass.
As a college freshman, you are just starting your life. Adult life. Life is very hard sometimes and very unfair, and some people seem to have it all, and some people feel worthless and all alone in the world. But you're not alone. You will always have yourself, and that is the one person you can always count on. So now is the time to become the person you would like to live with for the rest of your life.
You are not worthless.
One of my favorite quotes is:
Remember that everyone you encounter was created by divine intelligence, and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such. ~Tara Sophia Mohr.
I'm sure you have met your beautiful self many times in the mirror. You have an important role to play in the universe, so treat yourself as such. No one likes when people treat them bad, or say bad stuff about them, or say they are worthless, but most people are their own worst enemy and say those things to themselves. So don't be mean to yourself! Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is telling myself that the world needs me, and right now I may constantly be knocked down by life and some of the people in my life I must put up with, but one day I will play my important role in the universe. I believe it. So I can never give up, and I don't. So you have to believe you're precious, and you have to learn to love yourself.
I think you should talk to someone. Whether it's a therapist, a close friend, a family member, write in a journal, whatever you think will make you feel better. It helps to just let it all out.
Life is very difficult sometimes, and sometimes literally only for a little bit, and then it gets better. You know things get better. Life has its ups and downs and we all have it. I know what it's like to be shy, I used to be painfully shy. I felt like I was in a prison and isolated from everyone. It didn't help that no one ever took any interest in me or started a conversation. Once you become an adult, you automatically get less shy because you have to. I pulled a full 180 on that one, but I very strongly urge you to go out, and try to meet new people and make new friends, and not let the gloomy feelings get the best of you. You deserve the best life you can have. You deserve to be treated right. Especially you should treat yourself right.
We all feel like completely giving up sometimes and just feeling fed up, and just being like "screw it! I've had enough!" So you're not alone in that. Just take it one day at a time. Tomorrow is another day. Don't think about tomorrow when you feel like it's too much. Just focus on today, make it through today. Get some beauty rest, and then wake up tomorrow and again, take it one day at a time...
One quote also that has been very true for me with my shyness and feeling so incredibly isolated is:
And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
(Anais Nin)
Also, you are an adult, so you don't NEED to work for your parents. Sit down with them and have a calm, frank talk about this. About what you said on here. That's their life; if you want a different life for yourself, you get to choose what you want to do with your life. It's your life. Tell them how you feel.
Good luck!
I wish you all the best always, but only you yourself can give yourself the best life. Try to work on all the negative feelings you have for yourself and please talk to someone. We can't always do it alone.
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
(see how much I talk now? Ha! Seriously, good luck!)
P.S. About what you said, one the reasons you are jealous of your friend is that she attracts guys more than you, well if I know one thing from my guy friends (and I have a lot), a confident girl who is herself and confident in who she is, is the sexiest kind of girl.
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