about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

can kissing and fingering causes late periods

No.

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I like this guy and he likes me. But he always is busy with work or school. We have talked and agreed that we don't want a relationship, but want each other to be there. is it wise to get physical with someone like this. He is sexually active beyond what I am. And want to have sex. I do too, but I get scared, and nervous to do it.

You said it yourself: you talked to him and agreed on something. So if you want to further clarify what the relationship between you is, talk to him.

As far as getting physical, as long as you're both consenting (and it's legal), then there's no harm done. But be warned that getting physical with someone might mean that you or the other person could develop feelings that the other doesn't, which might lead to a really awkward and unwanted situation.

--Jack
(22/m)

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I am going to be a junior in high school, and my boyfriends go to college soon. He's going to a completely different state. I'm scared he might break up with me or cheat on me. What do I do?

You should have a serious discussion with him about the future of your relationship. If you both agree you want to work at long distance, then great- go ahead and lay out some expectations that you have of each other just so you can get on the same page:

-How often do you plan on seeing each other?
-How often do you plan on talking?
-Do you have to tell each other every time you go out or do something?
-How will you keep the relationship alive?

etc.

If you decide that you don't want to have a long distance relationship, that's ok. Don't feel like you HAVE to stay together just because you've been together thus far. If distance is going to be too much, that's ok. And same goes for him- if he wants to break it off because he's moving away- that's OK. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but he is going to college and it's an important developmental time for him and a relationship might be too much to handle, especially a long distance one.

As far as the cheating, there really isn't a way to know for sure if he's cheating on you or not. I'm currently in a long distance relationship (we're 700+ miles apart actually), and because we trust each other and love each other (and because we've talked about what would happen if either one of us cheated), we know it's not going to happen.

Let him know that you're worried he might cheat- if that's a legitimate concern of yours. Tell him that it's not that you think he will, but that you're worried that because he's going off to college, the opportunity could easily present itself and that it makes you nervous. Also talk about what would happen if you found out he cheated (whether it be that you break up with him or whatever you decide)- and that might be enough to deter him from doing so.

To summarize, the best thing you can do is open the line of communication with him (if you haven't done so already) and just be honest about what you're worried about and what you expect from him. Best of luck! Long distance relationships are a LOT of work.

--Jack
(22/m)

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Me and this boy have been dating for quite a few months now. He's 19 and I'm 18. We started off going very slow, but then things gradually got faster and he told me he defintely has come to care for me so much and trust me (he's been hurt a lot in the past and hasn't had good experiences with relationships). I've met all of his friends and family, and he's constantly talking to them about me as if I'm this amazing person, which, in my opinion is very cute. Anyway, He's mentioned twice already in conversations about the future that he would not mind at all if we lived together when we're ready, etc. He's also asked me about my view on children (if i want them, how many, names, etc) and stuff like that. And, soon, I'm going on vacation for almost 3 months, and he said he's willing to wait for me, which I think is amazing consdiering he's a young guy. I don't know if its just me or does he seem like he's getting really serious? It doesn't bother me or anything, I'm just wondering.

I think it just means he's dedicated to you. That doesn't mean he's getting too serious and wants to settle down right now and get married. He just wants you to know that he cares about you.

--Jack
(19/m)

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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, he has had a really horrible up bringing in an abbusive home when he was a kid, we currently live together and i have recently found out I am pregnant.
He gets angry all the time, over the smallest things, like loosing a game of fifa or something, when he does get angry he always punches the walls, doors or breaks things but if i say something he doesn't like or tell him to do something i get hit, punched, kicked and i have almost lost the baby twice already because he has hit me in the stomach. I feel like i need him to be independent though, and he tells me to get out of the house all the time, and tells me i won't get anything in the flat/car etc. he calls me names all the time, swears at me continuously and shouts at me in public if i need the toilet or something. But, when he is in a good mood, he is a really great boyfriend.

In November 2009 i was invited to a party and i was getting ready and it was a dressing up party, he told me to drop his friend off at the train station which i did and when i got back he locked me out of the house and had thrown all of my clothes through the window, for no apparent reason, i picked up my clothes and told him to let me in, he made me beg, i was on the doorstep crying and begging at 11pm at night in the freezing cold in a tarty dress, i was begging for around an hour when i picked up a brick and tried to bash the door down, i only managed to put a scratch on the door, but he called the police and was put in jail that night. he pressed charges for criminal damage and i now have a criminal record, but the day after i got out of jail he apologised and we were back together the week after.

I just feel like i can't leave him, but i just don't know what to do to stop his behaviour. I am terrified of him when he is like this, but i don't know how to stop it. Pleease Helpp!+

I don't know legal things, but I am going to back everyone up by saying that you need to get out of this relationship, because it's for your own well-being and safety that you get out.

Like DN said- contact law enforcement. That's really the only advice I can give.

I hope everything works out and you are alright.

--Jack
(19/m)

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Have I met my true love?

You didn't really give us anything to go off of, so none of us can really say.

But it's not something we could tell you anyway. It's something you have to figure out for yourself.

--Jack
(19/m)

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i have been with my girlfriend for awhile,how do i know when she is ready to have sexual contact?

13/m

If she tells you she's ready, then she thinks she's ready. Personally, being 13 is kind of young to start having sex, but if you think you're ready, then I guess no one is going to stop you.

All I can say is please protect yourself. Use a condom. Educate yourself about the dangers of unprotected sex, teen pregnancy, etc.

--Jack
(19/m)

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so I was hooking up with this guy and i gave him a bj and he said it was really good. we were just chilling and talking after that and he seems really nice and funny, he's a good guy. then i kinda hinted it was my turn and he said he would but he didn't have anything to clean his hands with (we were in my basement room withtout a sink or anything and he couldn't go upstairs), but that he felt really bad. but i told him it was fine he didn't have to. then he said "well at least it makes you come back for more" and i said jokingly of course "nahh not at all!" but he knew i was joking i thinkk. so do you think he wants to do it again? i cannot read guys at alll haha thanks!

Guys are horny. So yeah, he probably wants to do it again.

--Jack
(19/m)

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I've been texting this guy and he definetly wants to hookup and he wanted a picture and everything (i didn't send him one). but it's weird because he said he just got out of a 2 year relationship and didn't want anything serious at the moment. but when I told him I wanted to wait to get to know him better before/if we have sex and that I didn't want to send him a picture because I didn't know him that well and he didn't try to force it out of me or anything he just accepted it. and he said he didn't want anything too serious but he stayed up texting me until 2 in the morning. I'm really confused what do you think he wants? he also goes to school an hour from me and doesn't have a car. i like him obviously and I want a relationship but I don't want to be pushy.

This kid sounds like he just wants another relationship to have another relationship. I would just stay away. He's probably not worth your time if he immediately asked for pictures and didn't even take the time to get to know you first.

--Jack
(19/m)

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so I messaged this guy in one of my classes because I had a question. Then we started talking and he said he wanted to hangout before he left for vacation (he left today). He didn't give me a date though he said we'd just play it day by day because we were getting a huge snowstorm both days he was gonna be home(which we did). I gave him my number and told him to text me and let me know. He texted me right away saying "so what do you wanna do ;)" and we were texting for awhile, basically he wants to hookup. then 2 days after i texted him just saying hey and we talked for a little:
him:what's up
me:nothing just trying to fall asleep this bed is so uncomfortable and everyones asleep :/ haha
him:awww what are you getting at hmmm haha
me: maybe i could use some company :p
him:hahahaha
me:hahaha :)


so my questions is do you think he actually wants to hangout? he says he does but i kinda hinted it and he just laughed. and how much should i text him? i don't want to come off as obsessive but i want him to know I'm really into him lol. thankss!

Sounds like he just wants a piece of ass.

Then again I could just be reading him wrong. But I would try to find someone who actually cares about you and isn't just looking to hook up. Unless of course that's what you want.

--Jack
(19/m)

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i am a girl and i am 14 i have a boyfriend but i also have a friend and its a girl who i like a lot but i am in love with my boyfreind does that make me bisexul ?

Do you have sexual feelings toward her? Could you see yourself in a relationship with her?

If yes, then you could be bisexual.
If no, then you probably just love her as a friend. I have plenty of friends I love, but I don't see myself with sexually.

--Jack
(19/m)

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what are signs that your a bad kisser. My friend with benefits he like doesnt pull away or anything like that and like he bite my lips alot so how do i know.

If they aren't stopping you and blatantly telling you that you're bad, you're probably good.

But if you're really lucky and you are bad like I am, the other person will teach you. And they did. Which was fun and awesome. :)

--Jack
(19/m)

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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how this situation is making you feel. It's wrong of him to post details about your relationship that are personal. Tell him that. If he's not going to take down the facebook group, then I'd seriously consider rethinking your relationship with him. That's just freaking weird...

--Jack
(18/m)

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14/f going into high school

my older brother is a senior and he has this friend (named adam). adam has always been really nice. for example, i was trying on my dress for a dance and i asked "how do i look?" and he said "very pretty" when my brother was just standing there with his other friend. that was a few months ago. i saw him tonight again with me brother they were in the garage smoking weed (don't judge; i've done it a few times before) so adam offers me a bowl and i take it and smoke it with my friend away from them. i can tell he's into me and my friend agreed but i can't do that because he is my brother's friend. but honestly, if he wasn't my brother's friend i'd probably like him a lot..


hmmm, i'm not sure what my question is.. just advice please.

You want advice? A guy doesn't like you just because he said you looked "very pretty" in your dress. A guy doesn't like you because he smoked weed with you.

Find someone your own age or don't date at all. I know "age is just a number" but not when you're 14 and he's probably an adult or close to it.

--Jack
(18/m)

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ok so like this girl and she most likely likes me too and i think we could have a pretty good relationship but anyways we are only 15 and she has a baby do you think this would be a problem in the relationship

Uhm, yes. You are 15. You can't properly take care of a baby, and she will likely have you take care of the baby and that's probably not something you want to be involved in. If you're willing to make that sacrifice to be with the girl, well, I'd reconsider. You don't have the resources to take care of a child that isn't even yours.

Find a different girl.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I have been suspecting that my boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on me and could be already engaged!! i go to ask him and he says its crazy talk and all.. i look at his phone and its always clear.. but i have a feeling he tells the other one not to call or text at the times he does see me.. is there any way i can get hold of his cell phone record for free or anything!! ah i'm going crazy here i need to know!!! please help me!!

I'm afraid you can't do that unless there was a legal issue or something.

--Jack
(18/m)

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Hey everyone I just kinda want to vent because everyone on here has been really helpful lately =) gratz for them! But what I was going to post was if my boyfriend has been gone too long? He moved here to WI with me but his mom made him move back to PA...I feel down about that but he says he's coming back. So far its been about 2-3 months he said he would be back on august 24th...but lately I've been feeling like I don't talk to him at all =( he works at 8 a.m. but doesn't get him till 4 pm an after that he ends up being busy with helping the family or just really isn't on, the only way we can talk is through IM an phone. It just makes me kinda sad that I can only talk to him for a little or not even at all anymore =( ...I know your probably going to say talk to him but I like your guys opinion too =) feels nice letting others in too ^^

If you don't talk as much after he gets back, then something is wrong. Right now it's just hard for him to be able to stay in constant contact since you live far away. Yes, there's the internet and whatnot, but it gets tiring and cliche.

Try to mix it up in how you talk to him. Have you tried skyping?

--Jack
(18/m)

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i just wanna know that will i marry my lover

Well, if you both agree to get married, and neither of you back out, then you will get married.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I am from Malaysia. Married with 4 kids. Age 40. Husband 47. I caught my husband 6 months after he was having an emotional relationship with one of his chat-mates. That person sent her photos which seems to be a mexican actress photos(not her real photos because i found out that she was from BENIN, west africa).I read some of her mail to my husband. I was extremely hurt and angry and i comfronted my husband. He appologised and told me that it was ended dec 2009.I have no choice but to accept but still hurt and couldnt forget what he had done.After that I secretly traced his working on the internet and found out that he already deleted all of the downloded site which link to the DATINGs site. I checked his mail and so far there are no suspicious email.The problem is he always goes outstation and i wont know whether he is faithful to me or not. Question is what should I do. Can I trust him. Pls advice.


Rgds

Personally I would be really skeptical had someone I trusted done something like this. Maybe he deleted everything because he felt ashamed and he wanted to delete all evidence so he could move on? You never know. If you're still having doubts, talk to him. If you simply can't bear it anymore, and you absolutely cannot trust him, then you know what to do.

--Jack
(18/m)

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I recently returned from a vacation in Mexico. I was on vacation with my family, not looking for anything, but I met a guy who changed everything. Thanks to his family we started talking, and we just instantly clicked. I normally do not look for anything on vacation, but I couldn't help myself. I have never felt this way about a guy, he is absolutely perfect. I live in Pennsylvania and he lives in Texas so we are about a 3 hour plane ride away. He said he'll visit me, and I know it's completely ridiculous, but he just seems like the one right now. Do you think it could work? Miracles happen, right?

It could work. But I would establish a good friendship before you even start to think about him being "the one". Get to know him more, there's probably a lot more to him than meets the eye.

--Jack
(18/m)

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