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Going away to college
I am going to be a junior in high school, and my boyfriends go to college soon. He's going to a completely different state. I'm scared he might break up with me or cheat on me. What do I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You should have a serious discussion with him about the future of your relationship. If you both agree you want to work at long distance, then great- go ahead and lay out some expectations that you have of each other just so you can get on the same page:
-How often do you plan on seeing each other?
-How often do you plan on talking?
-Do you have to tell each other every time you go out or do something?
-How will you keep the relationship alive?
etc.
If you decide that you don't want to have a long distance relationship, that's ok. Don't feel like you HAVE to stay together just because you've been together thus far. If distance is going to be too much, that's ok. And same goes for him- if he wants to break it off because he's moving away- that's OK. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but he is going to college and it's an important developmental time for him and a relationship might be too much to handle, especially a long distance one.
As far as the cheating, there really isn't a way to know for sure if he's cheating on you or not. I'm currently in a long distance relationship (we're 700+ miles apart actually), and because we trust each other and love each other (and because we've talked about what would happen if either one of us cheated), we know it's not going to happen.
Let him know that you're worried he might cheat- if that's a legitimate concern of yours. Tell him that it's not that you think he will, but that you're worried that because he's going off to college, the opportunity could easily present itself and that it makes you nervous. Also talk about what would happen if you found out he cheated (whether it be that you break up with him or whatever you decide)- and that might be enough to deter him from doing so.
To summarize, the best thing you can do is open the line of communication with him (if you haven't done so already) and just be honest about what you're worried about and what you expect from him. Best of luck! Long distance relationships are a LOT of work.
--Jack
(22/m)
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