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advice
Okay, so I'm nearly 16. I know you're going to say that it's too early for me to worry about this, but I GENUINELY believe that I'm going to be alone forever. I'm a guy, and I'm pretty much asexual unless it's Lana Del Rey or Beyoncé or someone like that. I'm fat so I can't have someone like that. I see my friends taking their girlfriends on dates that they complain aren't expensive enough. I am seriously going to be alone until I become a dentist and have a ton of money and have someone marry me for money. I'm going to be miserable. I would really love to do something with houses, or design, because that's what I'm genuinely good at and enjoy doing. But I can't do that because I want to be rich and they make peanuts. It's unrealistic. I'm just so sad right now.
Hey there!
In the last sentence of your question, you say "I'm just so sad right now." Right now. You won't be alone forever. You won't be sad forever. This is right now. It's ok to feel sad, and be scared that you will be alone forever; there are so many people your age that feel like that. Seriously, I cant even count how many people have said that to me. I have a friend that told me he will surely always be alone, and now he is in a great relationship. So that's just despair, not reality.
You don't really want a real, meaningful relationship with a girl that will only date the version of you you wish to be. It won't be meaningful, nor real. It will be sad. Personally, when it comes to relationships, looks don't matter too much; I look for other qualities such as respect, kindness, confidence, honesty, reliability, and a sense of humor. A lot of people like me for my looks, and it doesn't feel nice, so what matters the most is that someone likes me for me, and I too will like them for who they are. I have had situations of boys trying to impress me, but I dont like superficiality, and trying too hard, and I found it kinda pathetic and cheesy. I do have to feel attraction to the person, but I'm mostly attracted to intelligent, happy people with genuine smiles, who are fun to be around and make me laugh. I think there are a lot of attractive people in my life, but I'm not necessarily attracted to them. I care about personality, and the way they treat me. One of the most unattractive things in a person, is someone with low self esteem. That's what is unappealing to many girls (and guys). Not whether the person is fat, or a big ole meathead.
At sixteen, you can't really know your sexuality. There were times I would honestly be convinced I was asexual, a couple years later, I realized I'm probably bisexual! So adolescence is a confusing time; don't label yourself as anything just yet.
The real, quality girls out there, look for guys with qualities that matter in a person, and not for how much they're worth, or how amazing they look. Doing what you love, and being happy and confident is what will attract people to you.
About having a job that makes peanuts, I went through very difficult training to earn certification for a job where the pay is very very low. But I wouldn't trade it for the world, because I love it, and it makes me happy. So follow your dreams; don't do something you won't absolutely love. A quality girl worth dating will support your dreams.
When it comes to the superficial things in life, such as how much you weigh, or how much money you have, it is important to remember this quote:
Those who mind, don't matter.
Those who matter, don't mind.
~Dr. Seuss
Turn that frown upside down! You'll be fine! :)
Hope you feel better soon.
Good luck!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
So I set up a date with a lady yesterday i said Starbucks 8.30 pm waiting for the counteroffer waiting waiting she then goes I am going to work out tomorrow if I dont I will feel bad put my shoes into her I use to workout a lot and say if I dont work out I'd fell bad too I use to fell that way her action seems to be telli the trueth then she goes that's a good time to go ill text you tomorrow my guts tells me she's not going bc there was no counteroffer rigth now she texted me back around 710pm I quote Hey!its Laura.i won't be able to make it to Starbucks today.I forgot that after work I needed to stay for meeting hmmmmm say if she texted me around 8.15 or 830 that would be a different story but she gave me an hour to think about her action I am gonna make her wait and text back no worry Starbucks or teavana 9 oclock Tuesday you pick a place
Hey there!
My sincere advice would be to give her the benefit of the doubt. It's an annoying situation, but you're only gonna hurt yourself by jumping to conclusions this quickly.
I hate when people cancel plans last minute, but I do it too sometimes, and I realize that I hate doing it to people, but stuff comes up sometimes, and it's not up to me.
At least she was nice enough to let you know she couldn't make it. The only time I'd get pissed is if someone makes plans and simply never shows up.
For your own good, give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm the type of person to judge people too quickly, and I see more and more how it is only hurting me. Once you get to know her better, and she does continuously bail on you, that's when it becomes a problem.
I'm not going to say that your frustration is not legitimate, because yes, this is a very frustrating situation.
Good luck!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it.
Hey there!
I am extremely uncomfortable showing any signs of affection towards a human being in public other than hugging. I don't know why people do it, but the world is full of interesting, and also downright weird people. Some people like to show off their affection for their partner to the world; a quick peck on the lips is one thing. That could be sweet.
Having a whole butt grabbing, smushed faces, and tongue situation going on, is something else entirely. That's rude. If I saw someone doing something like that in front of children, I would tell them it's rude and inappropriate. I guess it's just the type of person I am. Most of us have felt the awkwardness when couples go crazy with the PDA. I still remember watching a couple making out when I was little when I went on a trip to Niagara Falls, and feeling grossed out.
I don't think any country has the right to ban all PDA. If it gets super inappropriate I WILL speak up, but I really don't think countries have the right to ban it.
Most of us have been in the shoes of you and all the people in that line. I find it repulsive. I'm not going to attempt to fully understand why there are people that act like that. A big reason I can think of, is maybe they don't realize they are making everyone uncomfortable.
If they do know they make others uncomfortable, and they're just trying to get other people's attention, it might be because they feel insecure with their relationship, and feel they need to prove their love. I have seen that sometimes; but that's not why people show PDA in general. I dont think they realize how awkward it is for the rest of us. They might be a new couple, and can't get enough of their partner. Is it fair? No. Get a room!
What a loving world we live in!
(Sometimes I use sarcasm for awkward situations.)
Unfortunately, this loving world is not a very private one.
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
Good morning all,
I am a 24 year old female and I live with my mother, who has narcissistic personality disorder. Due to this disorder, she is obsessed with me in a way that is not healthy. She believes that I am her doll. I have endured psychological and emotional abuse beyond what I can explain in 2000 characters. If you are not familiar with the disorder, feel free to look it up. Also, look up narcissistic victim syndrome. This is what I am suffering from. I don't have enough money to move to a place of my own. My mom has also stolen my identity and completely ruined my credit, so I cannot afford to lease an apartment or anything like that. I am currently trying to find a roommate, at church or something, who may offer me a place that I can rent for cheap. I have my degree in education, but I am currently working on my master's and I don't make very much money. I would take out loans to pay for rent, but like I said, with the credit, no one will rent to me. One of the most horrible things that my mom has done is threaten me to break up with my boyfriend. I don't want to get into this whole ordeal as to why or what happened. Because honestly it's more about keeping up her appearance. She wants me to be with someone that she finds handsome, someone rich, so that he can provide for her and provide her with a lifestyle that she wants. And even if he doesn't extend that offer to her, she can show off her "rich daughter." The problem is that I am in love. We have been together for three years and we love each other very much. We are best friends. And after three years, we still get butterflies every time we are going to see each other. We often talk about getting married and how great it will be. I am very worried that my family and my mom will not come to the wedding and I guess I will just cross that bridge when I get there. But... in the meantime, I have a serious problem. I have been seeing him in secret for almost a year now. It has been a bad problem because we can barely see each other. And when we do, it has to be super secret. I am so afraid of my mom. In all honestly, I am not exaggerating when I say that I fear for my life. I am afraid that she is going to kill me in my sleep, or kill him. Or, at least hire someone to do it. Right now, they invited another family member to live with us and I don't even have my own bedroom, so I have to sleep with her. Tonight, I need to go to an important event with my boyfriend, and I don't know how I am going to get around her. I don't know where or how I can tell her that I'm going somewhere, and be at peace knowing that she is not around spying on me. The thought of her finding out makes me want to throw up. I am starting to get serious physical illnesses. I have been hospitalized 5 times because it has gone to my stomach... vomiting, diarrhea. I suffer from irritable bowl syndrome and terrible panic attacks. I have started to get very depressed and to be completely honest, I don't feel like living anymore. I would never do anything to myself because I am very religious and I consider that to be a terrible choice, and honestly, would be very selfish of me. I have people who need me, and I don't think that my mom needs to ruin their lives too. By 5:00pm today, I need to be there. It will be over by 7:30. I just need to get past today to worry about next week. Next week is his graduation from graduate school and I need to be there. My mom does not work on Saturdays or anything like that, so I need to keep her busy. Please, I beg for someone to help me with this. I will get help for my mom and for myself and I will come out of this. But, I need someone to help me with a precise plan as to how I can lie to her about tonight and make sure she doesn't see me. She has no friends, so it's not as if I can call up a friend and tell them to keep her busy. She has no one. She is only obsessed with me and I am her entire world. Someone please give me an alternative for tonight. I think that at 24, and all I've been through, I'm entitled to a nice evening with the person I love.
Please!
Hey there!
I'm not sure of how much help I can be because I don't know your mom, I don't know what your house looks like, but I will try, and it's past 2 pm now, so I guess I am making the 3 pm deadline... :)
Yes, you are entitled to a nice evening with your boyfriend. I don't know your mom, nor your situation, but you are an adult, and you have the right to see your boyfriend. If you sneak out and she catches you, that will be bad. She probably won't trust you or believe you again. You don't want that. The smart thing to do is take some deep breaths, and sit down with your mom, and have a frank mother to daughter talk, how this is not about her, but about you. You want to spend a nice evening out with a friend. Tell your mom you love her very much, but you are an adult, and you deserve to have a social life. You can decide if you are brave enough to say boyfriend, or simply say a "friend"...
So I don't know how messed up she is, or if being honest in a firm way is even an option. One tip I can give you is: don't be so so so anxious. Relax! Take some deep breaths. Maybe you can ask one of YOUR friends to hang out with your mom? Judging from what you said about how crazy your mom is, I don't know if you would want to do that, but I know I would bend over backwards for a friend in trouble. Just make sure your mom won't get any secrets out of her. Also if you refer to your boyfriend as a "friend", she might get suspicious why the other friend isn't going...
Maybe you should ask your boyfriend for some tips, see if he has any good ideas. One important thing is to come up with a whole lot of excuses in advance, in case she catches you to explain it away. If you are going to sneak out, find the best route and beware of creaking staircases and floorboards!! Don't wear shoes, just go ever so slowly.
REMEMBER THAT SNEAKING OUT, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE WAY YOUR MOM IS, IS REALLY REALLY RISKY!!
You have every single damn right to go out. Maybe just sit down with her like I said. You can give her a nice tight hug before you leave.
In most cases, honesty is the best policy. This is your life.
I honestly don't know the situation. You should relax though. Ask a friend or your boyfriend for help. Most importantly, HAVE FUN GIRL!!
Sincerely wishing you good luck. If you use any of my advice do so at your own risk. I hope it doesn't blow up in your face, but relax!
I hope you two have a fantastic, peaceful evening!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
hey, so I met this girl a few months ago, and we've been dating. the only problem is, we live about 2 hours away. I love making her happy, so I was wondering something I could text her to make her day, that would make us love each other even more (kind of impossible though) I'm 14 and I'm a guy, so i would mind a girl around my age's advice please :)
Hey there!
Dragonflymagic is a favorite columnist of mine. She answered your question in detail. She rocks pretty much!
I am 19, is that still "around your age?" Haha. Well, I can tell you this, waking up to a text from a favorite person, whether it's a close friend, especially a boyfriend/girlfriend, well to wake up and see that text will literally make your whole day sometimes. So try texting her at a time that she will get it when she wakes up. You can just say "good morning! I hope you have a fantastic day. Thinking of you..."
Also, this goes out to ALL guys "texting your girl is important!" Girls like when you are texting them first.
When we aren't with people we love, it's always nice to get a text from that person that says "I miss you!"
One of my closest friends just moved away which is super hard for me, but I still remember him texting me "I MISS YOUUU!!!!" the first time we texted after he left. It was in all caps and I still remember it.
Also, when we aren't with people we love, well texting is great, a text first thing in the morning... um... amazing!! but I think Skype is ten million times better most of the time. Texts too! I just know that Skype helps immensely.
I like when you added (kind of impossible though) about loving each other more. You can always make her happier though! Love always grows deeper even when we think that is not possible to love a person more than we already do.
To make her day? Pretty much this will do it:
* Texts in the morning.
* Unexpected texts that say I miss you at random times when you really really miss her.
That's what I know totally makes my day, or makes a bad day better and it makes me smile for a long time.
Also, everything that Dragonflymagic said.
You also seem like a very nice boyfriend and you love to make her happy, so tell her that you love to make her happy, tell her all the good things you feel for her, and what you admire in her. And I know that some people think that saying "I love you" too many times will make it less special. But if we love someone, we should tell it to them, and it's nice to end a conversation like that too. When has a person saying I love you not made you feel fantastic, ya know?
BUT NEVER EVER SAY I LOVE YOU TO SOMEONE IF YOU DONT TRULY TRULY TRULY MEAN IT!!
So only say it if you know that you really love her. You said you love each other, so if you know you love her, always let her know she is loved, and you don't always necessarily have to say it, but also find ways to show it.
Good luck!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
hi! im 19 years of age and i am a girl.I truly love my boyfriend more than anything else in this world.i love spending time with him.i spend most of my time everyday with him.we are always together.is it healthy to spend too much time with your boyfriend making love and etc? should I give him some space?
Hey there!
I very much agree with the two previous answers. But also, you should have a life outside of the relationship. It sounds like this is a new relationship, so it's normal for two new lovers to always want to spend time together. But I honestly don't think it's healthy to always be together. For now, it's fine, but it doesn't last. Eventually you will both need to spend some hours of the day apart, living your own lives. Make sure to surround yourself with friends! Friends are important. To me they are actually more important than romantic relationships. That's just me. It's also cool to be able to talk about your relationship with your friends. Girlfriends are important. So if you have girlfriends, make sure to hang out with them! Have a girls night out and talk about your guys. You can brag and have fun! Make sure you surround yourselves with friends. I'm also 19. I'm an adult and I have a lot of responsibilities now like school and my career. If you have an amazing relationship, that is the best addition to your life. But it shouldn't be your entire life. You need space too. Your need your own life too, just like he needs his. From what I've gathered, he is the BEST thing that has happened to you. He enhances your life. But he shouldn't BE YOUR LIFE.
I know from experience that after a while, even if it's not right now, and it might really be months and months, but you might start feeling suffocated. So I don't think it's healthy in the long run to spend all your time together AT ALL!
Should you give him some space? Talk to him about it. How much space he needs, and also how he feels about you two always being together.
To sum it up: you really need to have a life outside of the relationship if it's gonna last. If this is a new relationship, it's completely normal to ALWAYS wanna be together. You two should definitely talk about it! I think you'll feel better and have your answers.
Good luck! I wish you all the best always!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
Im the one who asked earlier.. and no he wasn't wearing a condom although he didn't go in too deep.
Hey there!
Take a pregnancy test, sweetie!
Remember to always make him wear a condom. I know when things get heated it's not always the first thing on people's minds. I have heard of people getting pregnant by their lovers being inside for 60 seconds, even if it was their first time.
You could be pregnant, you could not be pregnant. Try to find out ASAP. Remember for next time, better safe than sorry.
Wishing you all the best!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
So my boyfriend recently put his penis inside me but did not cum inside me neither did we have sex.. and I had just finished my period..I am a bit worried whether I maybe pregnant or its just paranoia plz help im desperate
Hey there!
There is one question I really have. Was he wearing a condom? If someone has unprotected penetration, well the guy doesn't need to cum, nor does he need to be inside long, but the girl can still get pregnant. So I don't know if he was wearing a condom, I hope he was! Just take a pregnancy test, because things like that are truly nervewracking.
I am going to say this in case he was not wearing a condom:
You should always have protected sex not only to prevent pregnancy as much as possible, but also to prevent the transmission of STDs.
Please have safe sex if you are, or are starting to be sexually active! Even if you are not pregnant right now, if the guy doesn't wear a condom, sooner or later, you will find yourself pregnant.
Good luck!
I know not one thing I said was pretty, but it's what you need to hear.
I hope it turns out alright!! Taking a pregnancy test is what I would do, honestly.
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
My girlfriend wants me to finger her, but I don't know how to transition from kissing to start touching her.
Hey there!
Dragonflymagic basically answered your question, and she is so right and goes into detail.
I just wanna stress that when you are trying to please someone, the best way to accomplish that is to ask them how they like it. They know their bodies. If you wanna have the best chance of giving her great pleasure ask her how and where! And also, you get better with experience.
And in general, when you are with someone, always make it your own. Make it special. Make it you. Please them like you would wanna be pleased yourself and don't be shy to admit that you don't have much or any experience.
Tell her that you would like to learn what she likes.
Good luck! STAY SAFE!!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
I'm sorry sweetie but this guy does not love you. He is a pig asking for sex from a thirteen year old who isn't even legally allowed to consent. That shows that he doesn't care about you or your feelings. All he wants is to satisfy his own personal desires. You deserve better than that, let me tell you. I know that you like this guy, but the feeling is not mutual, don't be fooled. I know that you don't like to hear that, so I'm sorry, but I suggest you find someone closer to your age, who respects your wishes, and report this pervert to your parents.
I had a similar experience, and I was molested, so I want to save you from going through that. I wish you all the best, and if you do decide that you wanna stay with him, which I strongly suggest that you don't, don't give in, you are not ready for sex at thirteen. What would happen if you got pregnant for instance? Remember that sex is not the answer, sex is the question, and yes is the answer. And your answer is no.
Good luck, I hope you find someone better. :)
Hey, you answered my question earlier. I was just wondering how you think I should tell her. I haven't seen her in a while, and I don't even have her phone number anymore. Do you think a fb message would do?
Hey there! I don't think you should tell her you like her on Facebook. It's much more personal and appreciated if you do it in person. Just take things slow. Message her on Facebook, have a couple conversations. Be friendly, ask her how she's been, what's new, and you can reminisce about old times. Write on her wall and comment on pictures. After a couple conversations, you can ask her for her number, and ask her out over the phone. If she agrees, tell her how you feel when you two meet up.
Good luck and happy holidays :)
I am a junior in college now. Senior year of high school, which was 3 years ago, I had a huge crush in a girl at my school. I really wanted to ask her out to senior prom but I was always shy and I thought she was way to pretty for me and she would say no.
Recently, another friend from high school told me that the girl I liked really liked me too and wanted me to ask her out to senior prom too. I ended up asking my best friend's sister to prom that year. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and even though it has been almost 3 years I don't know If i should tell her that I actually did like her a lot in high school.
Should I tell her that I liked her too? Should I ask her out on a date? Is it even worth a try? I haven't seen her in a while, but I'm not sure if there may still be a connection.
I think you should definitely tell her and ask her out on a date. The worst that can happen is she'll say no, but it's definitely worth a try. You two can catch up and see if you still have a connection.
If she really did like you in high school and wanted you to ask her to senior prom, she'll probably be happy to know that you did like her after all.
Good luck :)
ok so my ex boyfriend wants me back and these other 2 guys like me which way do i go
Why did you guys break up? Are the issues that caused it resolved? Has he changed at all? You have to ask yourself these questions. Couples break up for reasons, and getting back together rarely works out. You might have a chance if you guys still love each other, are able to work out the issues that caused the break up, and are willing to put the past behind you.
I would tell you to go with the guy you can truly be yourself with and you don't have to pretend. The guy who truly cares about you and makes you happy.
I hope you choose right!
Good luck :)
How Do I Avoid Being Heart Broken From This Relationship I Really Like This Guy , Please Help ! I Don't Want Him To Leave Me !
No one knows what the future holds, no one can guarantee that you guys will always be together, but what you can do is be a great girlfriend, be there for him, and hope for the best.
Just some relationship advice that you might find helpful:
Be the girl he fell in love with. If he got together with you, it's because he saw something special in you that he didn't find in other girls. Don't try impressing him and being someone that you're not because you are afraid he might leave. Just always be yourself.
Honest direct communication is crucial to every healthy relationship. Every relationship goes through some rough patches. There will be disagreements, arguments, times when you unintentionally hurt your partner, or he hurts you. You always need to be honest about your feelings, and if something is wrong, let him know and you guys should be comfortable expressing any concerns you might have and calmly talk through any issues that might arise.
Compromise is a huge deal. You won't always have your way. Being with someone means you will have to make sacrifices sometimes.
Most importantly, be there for him, make him feel loved and cared for. Be the girl he won't be able to resist. If he's the right guy for you, then you don't have to worry that he'll leave you. Don't cling too tight, relax and focus on right now. Right now you guys are together and happy. What will happen in the future? No one knows, but you should know that you deserve the best guy out there, a guy who sees every moment being with you as a privilege. If he's that guy, then you don't have to worry that you'll get your heart broken, and if you guys do go separate ways, then you'll know that it wasn't meant to be, and your prince is still out there waiting for you.
Good luck. Hope I helped :)
I think my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He has been acting very strange around me lately and he is very weird about me being around his phone he hurries and snatches it up as if im going to find something.
TheLonelySoul is right, you shouldn't jump to conclusions without solid evidence. I think you should confront him also, and demand an explanation as to what is going on. You need to be honest and up front with each other if this relationship is going to work. If he's indeed cheating, then you should dump him, but maybe something else is going on, and you don't wanna do something you will regret later.
He is acting strange, and you shouldn't be tortured not knowing why, and suspecting that he's cheating. No matter what is going on, you deserve to know the truth.
Good luck :)
My name is berry and i am 23 , i met a guy from my country on facebook year and half ago and i fell in love with him crazily, though he said that he is with another one whom he committed to, i insisted that he is the one because i saw in him what i didn't see in other men, he tried to tell me to think with my brain not my heart but i said it is ok and i will love him silently , day by day our relationship was getting closer until after a month he said that he loves me, of course we were talking hours online and on phone, he said that is committed to that girl with marriage because he promised her..our relationship was perfect perfect, something that is very pure , beyond imagination and real honest . i told him about my past with a guy who turned out to be his friend , he asked me for honesty and i was very honest and we were ok, i noticed that he cares so much for details and it was very romantic in our relationship but very ugly when it comes to discussing my past.. he is a very loving person, much close to be an angel, he built my personality and he helped me Succeed everything , he showed me all love and happiness in the world and i loved him more and made him even happier..he broke up with the girl he was with because he couldn't live the lie anymore with her then he came from the country where he works in June to the country where i live to propose me .. i cant tell you how much i am nervous or afraid that he did this , i was so nervous because pre marriage relations are forbidden in our society, he asked me to come to a hotel so we can meet together, i was so attracted to him , wanting to do it all , but i couldn't do anything because i want to start right with him after marriage , he left my country and he was ok with it and he said that i respected you even more. i was having a very tough time in collage because it was my senior year and i felt that i neglected him a lot , but it was the biggest pressure in my life , in the beginning of July he asked me to stay alone for three days , i was surprised because he never asked that before but i let him be. then he started changing blaming me for my past accusing me of not loving him much "he has a past with more then one" , he started acting weirdly , not caring of my feelings and he justified that by saying that he has depression and that he will got back to his senses , i was suffering everyday with his discussions , questions about my past , until one day he said that it is better for us not to get marry because he can't handle not thinking about my past. i tried to convince him not to , and whatever happened in the past that i am still a virgin and not much happened comparing to his , it is just that i wanted to start it right with him. he will come to my country soon to "convince" me , well i can't be convinced because he is the love of my life and that our story is much bigger then these minor details , he said that he couldn't stop thinking or comparing with my past , i told him to get a therapist opinion but he said he is not sick..i don't want our relationship to be ruined because of idiot ideas , i need him in my life , he is my soul and breath and i know for sure that he will regret , so how can i convince him not to? how he can forget and conquer the past?i am tortured by the past and i regretted it very much.
p.s : i can't live with him really , he is bigger then life for me
Yemen
Hey Berry,
I am so sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how tough it must be for you. I also don't have a very nice past, and I know it's embarrassing to share your past with your boyfriend. Being honest is indeed crucial in order to have a healthy and successful relationship. But there are limits. The past is the past after all, and it shouldn't be haunting you because your boyfriend wants to know every detail. That's not being nice, that's being too nosy. I gladly share my past with my boyfriend, but again, not every stupid detail which isn't relevant anymore. A true friend doesn't judge you but wants to help you. As you say, your boyfriend used to still care for you even after you told him, that shows that he's nice. I believe the reason it suddenly changed is probably because of his depression. Don't think that he doesn't love you anymore. Maybe he is so depressed that he doesn't think he deserves you anymore because you are so wonderful.
A depressed brain can't think clearly, so I believe the most important thing to focus on in this situation is making sure he gets help. Even if he does end up marrying you, you won't be happy for long if your man is all depressed and doesn't respond to your love.
Relationships are beautiful, but they shouldn't completely rule your life. Just because you love this boy to death, and believe me I know what it feels like, doesn't mean that you have to let him have his way all the time. Just because he wants to know every detail of your past, doesn't mean you have to tell him. I mean, does he share every detail of his past with you? If he truly loves you like he says he does, he will respect your decision to keep some things private.
I know you won't like to hear this, but if this guy can't give you all the love you need and make you happy, then maybe you should find a boy who can. The one thing I've learned from my mistakes is never to settle in a relationship. You deserve the best, so you gotta have the best. It may feel like he's the love of your life, and maybe he is, but if this behavior continues, maybe it's time to move on.
Make sure he gets the help he needs, and one day he'll love you for that.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright :)
I used to write poems for my girlfriend but after a while I ran out of things to say so I started looking for a good love poem on google but didn't find any that suit her... Where can I find some decent love poems?? Please help!!!
I don't know where you can find love poems, but let me tell you this from my point of view. I think that writing love poems for your girlfriend is a beautiful thing to do. I'm sure she cherishes them. My boyfriend writes love poems to me too, and the reason they are more beautiful than love poems I've read written by others, is because they come straight from his heart, and they are written specifically for me. That's what warms my heart, and my love for him grows deeper with each love poem.
If you run out of things to say, then that's okay. Take a break. Love poems written by someone else, no matter how good they are can never compare to a love poem that comes straight from your boyfriend's heart, and everything written in there was written for you. That's unparalleled, and I'm sure she would appreciate that much more.
Good luck :)
What does it mean when a man tells you that a woman comes 5th in their life after faith, children, career, and taking care of their family? Does it mean he doesn't want a relationship even though he says he would like to have one someday? How should a woman go about this to avoid getting hurt?
You're supposed to be your man's first and foremost priority. If you're not, then I don't thing you should stay in the relationship. You deserve the best man out there who will treat you like a princess, so don't settle for someone who treats you any lower. I mean, putting faith and career and all that before you? You deserve so much better. He's not worth another minute of your time.
I've been in a relationship before where I had to settle for so much. I tried so hard to impress this guy, and then he just dumped me. It was really hard, but now there are men lined up who would give anything to be with me, and they would do anything for me. I'm so glad this guy isn't in my life anymore, because I realize now how much I was giving up just to be with him.
He was not treating me like a first priority, like your man. Friends and career came before me. That's not a healthy relationship. That's a relationship that's doomed to fail. Get out of it, and find a man who will cherish you and treat you as his first priority.
Good luck :)
What does it mean, when my friend ask me if i am a virgin or not?
i have friend that asked me if i live together with my boy friend or not. and i am a virgin or not. what does he mean?
he seems like me, but i m not sure. what do you guys think?
i have boyfriend, and he knew that i have boyfriend. but why he still ask me that question. my answer is no. after that he said, virgin is not everything, but he just wants to know why want to did it. but he said, i am fine, virgin or not.
what do you guys think?
He's disrespectful, that's what he is. And yeah, I get that a lot too. Frankly, I tell them it's none of their business. Remember that being a virgin shows that you're the one in control, and it's something to be proud of. But anyone who asks such a question is disgusting.
20/f - I was just wondering if it's normal to no longer have feelings for someone but hate the thought of him being with someone else. I realize that I am being incredibly selfish having such thoughts, but I don't know how to get over feeling like this. We broke up about a year and a half ago, and we've discussed getting back together, but it was never successful (either I'd want to but he didn't or he'd want to but I didn't). Even though I'm the one who broke it off after 2 years together, it took me a long time to stop hurting and accept the fact that I ended it because I was no longer happy in that relationship. I'm pretty sure that I'm over him because I'm aware of all the reasons that we were wrong for each other, but the thought of him with someone else really bothers me and eats at my thoughts almost every day. If it's not normal to feel this way after a breakup, especially since so much time has passed already, please tell me so that I can know how crazy I am for feeling like this and work on truly moving on.
Great news! This is absolutely 100% normal! First of all, let me explain that post-break-up emotions are totally unpredictable and it's okay to feel a million contradicting emotions at once. Love and hate, longing and apathy, etc. Going through a break up and breaking up with someone are both very painful experiences. I should know that, since I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. I didn't thing that I would suffer too, because after all, I was the one who ended things. I convinced myself that I was totally over him, and things were going great for a while, but then out of nowhere, I started berating myself why I broke up with him and I wanted to get back together. It's been a year, and it's still painful to think about it. But I too had my reasons for breaking up, and I know that getting back together is not an option. So it's good that you know your reasons.
You two had a relationship going for you once. You were in love. You each gave each other your heart and soul. You'll never be able to completely detach yourself from someone that was once such an important and dear part of your life. Yes, you no longer have feelings for him, and you might be ready to move on, but he used to be dear to you, and seeing him fall for someone else, man that's got to be very tough.
Don't tell yourself that you are crazy. You are human, and this is painful for you. You can visit: howtogetoverarelationship.com, it's a great website, and they teach you great methods of how to move forward and be ready for your prince when the time comes.
Good luck! Hope I helped :)