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I'm going to be alone forever
Okay, so I'm nearly 16. I know you're going to say that it's too early for me to worry about this, but I GENUINELY believe that I'm going to be alone forever. I'm a guy, and I'm pretty much asexual unless it's Lana Del Rey or Beyoncé or someone like that. I'm fat so I can't have someone like that. I see my friends taking their girlfriends on dates that they complain aren't expensive enough. I am seriously going to be alone until I become a dentist and have a ton of money and have someone marry me for money. I'm going to be miserable. I would really love to do something with houses, or design, because that's what I'm genuinely good at and enjoy doing. But I can't do that because I want to be rich and they make peanuts. It's unrealistic. I'm just so sad right now.
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Hey there!
In the last sentence of your question, you say "I'm just so sad right now." Right now. You won't be alone forever. You won't be sad forever. This is right now. It's ok to feel sad, and be scared that you will be alone forever; there are so many people your age that feel like that. Seriously, I cant even count how many people have said that to me. I have a friend that told me he will surely always be alone, and now he is in a great relationship. So that's just despair, not reality.
You don't really want a real, meaningful relationship with a girl that will only date the version of you you wish to be. It won't be meaningful, nor real. It will be sad. Personally, when it comes to relationships, looks don't matter too much; I look for other qualities such as respect, kindness, confidence, honesty, reliability, and a sense of humor. A lot of people like me for my looks, and it doesn't feel nice, so what matters the most is that someone likes me for me, and I too will like them for who they are. I have had situations of boys trying to impress me, but I dont like superficiality, and trying too hard, and I found it kinda pathetic and cheesy. I do have to feel attraction to the person, but I'm mostly attracted to intelligent, happy people with genuine smiles, who are fun to be around and make me laugh. I think there are a lot of attractive people in my life, but I'm not necessarily attracted to them. I care about personality, and the way they treat me. One of the most unattractive things in a person, is someone with low self esteem. That's what is unappealing to many girls (and guys). Not whether the person is fat, or a big ole meathead.
At sixteen, you can't really know your sexuality. There were times I would honestly be convinced I was asexual, a couple years later, I realized I'm probably bisexual! So adolescence is a confusing time; don't label yourself as anything just yet.
The real, quality girls out there, look for guys with qualities that matter in a person, and not for how much they're worth, or how amazing they look. Doing what you love, and being happy and confident is what will attract people to you.
About having a job that makes peanuts, I went through very difficult training to earn certification for a job where the pay is very very low. But I wouldn't trade it for the world, because I love it, and it makes me happy. So follow your dreams; don't do something you won't absolutely love. A quality girl worth dating will support your dreams.
When it comes to the superficial things in life, such as how much you weigh, or how much money you have, it is important to remember this quote:
Those who mind, don't matter.
Those who matter, don't mind.
~Dr. Seuss
Turn that frown upside down! You'll be fine! :)
Hope you feel better soon.
Good luck!
xoxo
~alexisgirlie
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Hun, trust me, you will not be alone forever. With the horrid breakups I've experienced in the past, I also thought I was going to be alone forever. I have finally found someone that I can genuinely picture my whole life with. It takes time, hun. People cross paths with their soul-mate at different moments of life. Some may meet them in their teenage years. Some in their twenties. Some may even experience that wonderful event sometime later in their life. You never know, but you will not be alone forever.
Please don't call yourself fat. I like the word 'overweight' a bit better than 'fat.' Just because you're overweight has nothing to do with you finding the right female that will be with you for the rest of your life. The right female will not give two cares how skinny or how overweight you are. The right female will, if you are insecure about your weight, will willingly help you achieve a goal of losing, maybe, ten pounds. She will share the not going to fast food restaurants to eat, the eating more vegetables and eating less sweets, the let's run a mile today!, and so on.
And the right female will definitely not care at all about how much money you have. If you find the right female, she'll stand by you and support you even if you two are at the point where you're about to lose everything. She will not care what job you have. She will not care what paycheck you bring at the end of two weeks. All she will care about is being with YOU. Not your money. But YOU.
If you enjoy having an occupation that has to do with house design or anything with houses, PLEASE do it, hun. Personally, I would rather do what I most love to do in the world and bring home an average salary every year than work at a job where I'd have to drag myself out of bed every morning and force myself to do my best and bring home an enormous salary that'll throw away all my troubles. I want my GENUINE happiness; not happiness from money. Money doesn't make me happy, personally. Please do what you love to do, hun.
I hope I helped. (:
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Your NOT going to be alone forever ok, trust me there really is someone out there for everybody.
and if you dont like your weight change it. Start slow and replace a meal one day with something healthier instead, then do it twice a week, then three times and so on. Pretty soon youll be in the habit of WANTING to eat healthier things and everytime you look at something unhealthy your body will NOT want it.
Also start going for walks. try just a short walk once a week anywhere you want, whenever you want. youll sleep better, and your body will start to boost your energy level slowly. ; )
good luck and really try the short walks after dinner and replacing a meal with something healthier once a week and move up from there and youll notice a difference.
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