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Hey. I'm Isabella. I'm the best advice giver out there, so ask me tons of questions and keep me busy. I love all of you.

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I have a guy friend that is one of my best friends.
Lets call him "J". He talks to me any chance he gets, always tries to make me laugh, if his friend flirts with me he always freaks out and says STOP FLIRTING WITH HER, he calls me A LOT, he stares at me, his best friend always asks me if I like "J". He asked me for my number once and he asked for my screen name. He almost asked me to the dance but when after a minute of me not responding when he said, "will you go to the dance with me" he quickly said "just kidding." and I'm pretty sure that he wasn't, Everyone always says that me and him should go out and that he likes me

PS. You give GREAT advice!!

Well, it seems to me like he likes you. He's definitely flirting with you so he has to like you even if it's the slightest bit. If you like him too I think you should make a move on him. You could invite him to the movies or something. Or if you don't want to do it in person you could pass him a note that says "do you like me because I like you." That would be really cute. So if you guys are already friends then you're ready to take it to the next level. If you want him to ask YOU out, then you will have to give him BIG hints that you like him. Like touching him a little and saying I love you but just in a playful way. Don't wait too long because I've been in a situation like this, and I waited too long to show any emotion so the guy just moved on and has a girlfriend now. So whatever you do, whether you ask him out or if you wait for him to ask you out, you have to do it fast! I'm guessing you're at the end of the school year now. You should do it before the last day of school because you guys won't be able to talk to eachother anymore.

If you need more assistance just ask another question...

~Bella

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hi - ok so i really like this guy. he lives like down the road from me, and we have gone out before. we dont go to the same school, so when we went out it was hard to see each other b/c we are both involved in sports. when we went out we both cheated on eachother, and since we never saw eachother - we just thought it was best to break up. btw, i was his first gf, first kiss, first like everything. this was all in february. now its june, and i want a new chance at him. he says that he likes me, but not enough for us to go out. he told me hes scared that if we go out, he will sqrew things up for us. bc i like him more than he likes me. i really want a second chance with him. do i deserve it? what can i do to convince him to be with me? should i move on? how? please help. i rate high

deffinitely don't go out with him. he basically hinted that he was going to screw things up again. and like i always say, once you two break up you could go back out with him 100 more times, but your relationship would always end up the same way - over. it seems like he doesn't want to go out with you, so i would find another guy that cares for you. there's plenty of more guys, you just have to look for them.

hope i helped.

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is it okay that my boyfriend is 3 years older than me? I'm 13 and he's 16 is that bad?

No, that's not bad at all. Actually, my boyfriend is 2 years older than me. From experience, it seems like the older guys are more fun to be with and less stubborn.

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My friends say I'm pretty, but it seems like boys pay no attention to me. I've been told by at least 3 different guys that I thought were pretty cool that they just see me as a friend. I haven't been out with anyone in over two years, or even kissed a boy. I feel pretty nervous sometimes around certain boys (not because I like them - because it's pretty obvious that they don't like me but to be honest I don't mind). It just seems like I'm unfanciable.

Am I always going to be just a mate to all guys?

Wow, it seems like I wrote this!! I have the exact same problem! Every guy I like tells me I'm awesome but they just want to be friends. It's really annoying, and I deffinitely know how you feel. It's actually hard to answer this question, because you never know if a boy will come into your life and love you as much as you love him. But I believe that everyone has a guy that is "the one" for them, but for some people it takes longer to find that guy than others. You just have to hold your head up high, be confident and don't worry because one day, both me and you will find "Mr. Right." It might take 5 years to meet him, but he's coming. Don't dread over this because you have your whole life to get a boyfriend and to fall in love. You can't make any one like you because it's impossible. Just keep praying to God, and he will lead you to the guy of your dreams. There's almost a billion guys in the world, so someone out there has to love you.

Hope I helped. ♥

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i've read a lot of your advice and i like what i hear so i thought that you could help me. i always hear people saying that guys like girls who are confident. but the problem is that i am really really shy. so what can i do to become more confident with myself?

I got this stuff from websites so here's some good ways to be more confident. http://ezinearticles.com/?Become-More-Self-Confident&id=10267 http://www.youmeworks.com/confidencewithpeople.html
http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap14/chap14d.htm


1. Follow your strengths. Self-confidence comes from being the best “you” possible. It doesn’t come from trying to be someone else. It is the result of following paths like these:

• Do what comes naturally.

• Develop your talents.

• Follow your convictions.

You see, if we just use a synonym for confident, the way becomes obvious. One of its synonyms is “certain.” And it is true that you feel confident wherever you have a lot of certainty. Think about it. For a teenage boy who wants to talk to a girl he likes, he may feel very awkward and not confident at all. But if he knew a lot about computers, and she was having a problem with a computer and asked his help, he could help her and feel confident doing so. Why? Because he would know what he was talking about. People feel confident when they are certain.

Therefore, wherever you would like to feel confident, develop more certainty about it. And I don’t mean an attitude of certainty, I mean to develop real honest-to-goodness, actual certainty.

If, for example, you have to get up and speak to a group next week and you don’t feel confident about it, start working to develop some degree of certainty: Talk to the people you need to talk to and find out who will be there and what they are expecting, and then prepare thoroughly. The more you prepare, rehearse, talk about what you will say to your friends, make notes, do research, the more certain you will be and the more confident you will feel.

As another example, a shy person might feel a lack of confidence meeting new people. When she’s introduced, she feels like running away. This is very common. Why? Because a new person is — by definition — unknown. Our shy person is not certain about anything except the person’s name (and if she is too distracted by her nervousness, she’ll quickly lose her certainty about that too).

It is becoming clear that building self-esteem isn't just silencing the unreasonable internal critic, accepting your faults, and emphasizing your good traits. The healthy, confident, efficacious person assumes responsibility for his/her life. The self becomes a change agent, a self-helper. The task is to realize the self-improvements you could make, to know how to make changes, and to feel confident about your self-help ability. And...

Coopersmith (1967) suggested that high self-esteem requires two things: setting high goals and some success in reaching your goals. In other words, you must DO SOMETHING. Contrary to popular opinion, self-esteem in children is not related to good looks, being tall, mother being at home, and social or economic status of the family. Kids who like themselves had parents who set high standards (yes, expected politeness and housework, not "do your own thing"), showed respect for the child (democratic decision-making where everyone is heard) and showed love (not necessarily overtly but in terms of caring about "how things are going"). You can't change the past but you can talk to yourself. You can say such things as "don't be lazy just because you were pampered as a child." You can DO SOMETHING!

If you assume responsibility for improving your life, if you learn to have more control over your life, and if you put in time and effort on good causes, you will like yourself better and others will admire you. So, in a sense, all self-help enhances self-esteem. Conversely, self-esteem facilitates self-help (Bandura, 1977b). For instance, good students feel responsible for doing well while poor students blame teachers, the school, or the tests (Coleman, 1966). Chapter 6 gives several specific suggestions for countering feelings of inferiority. At the very least, ask yourself "what do I fear doing that I would like to do?" Then imagine overcoming that fear and make plans to develop these skills.

Think of it this way. In addition to getting better at what you are doing now, i.e. in your current life style, you might need to diversify. For example, when a person specializes or concentrates too intensely, as some say "putting all your eggs in one basket," there is a risk of feeling and being adequate in only one way. (Perhaps persons who feel inadequate tend to find a niche and stay there.) For instance, a mother devotes herself exclusively to raising the family but feels useless and lonely when the nest is empty; a secretary devotes her life to her job but realizes in her 50's that she has given up too much for $1000 a month; a manager works 70 hours a week but finds out later that his efforts and the programs developed were not really appreciated; the athlete who is a star in high school or college discovers he has no career skills and few are impressed with his previous stardom. Perhaps all of us need several ways to feel good about ourselves, ways to further build our self-esteem and to prepare for the future. Make sure your life goals are ethical and an expression of your true self.

STEP SIX: Write a list of your more important positive traits. Repeat them frequently with feeling.

Many of us are afraid to brag, even to ourselves. But we need to know our strengths. Make a list of your good traits, using the list of positive and negative characteristics from step 3 (also include the strengths you added to your list of weaknesses). Make the list as complete as possible. What good traits do your friends, your parents, your teachers, your idols have? Do you have some of those traits too? If so, add them to your list. No one needs to see your list, put down everything you like about yourself, everything that is good. If you have difficulty thinking of positive traits, this may mean you have an overwhelmingly severe critic. Ask your friends for suggestions.

Write several simple positive statements about yourself. Examples: "I care for my family and friends; I'm loving and giving" or "I'm fun to be with, people enjoy me" or "I'm a serious student preparing for life." Repeat statements like these, which are true of you, several times a day, perhaps followed by a reward. Put your positive traits on cards and stick them up where you will see them often. When relaxing, spend 10 minutes thinking about specific incidences in which you were good in the past and fantasize about situations in which you could use your good traits again in the future. All of these methods accentuate your positive features. What is most important is that you remember the positive when the internal critic attacks you.

• Express your own style.

2. Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that self-confidence comes from something as ordinary as planning. But think about it; let’s say you are going on a job interview, almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are prepared, you feel more confident.

3. Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no matter how small it seems.

4. Study. The more you know about your subject, the more confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence almost always stems from a lack of information. We’ve all had that sick feeling that we don’t fully understand what we are talking about.

5. Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to present yourself in a positive way.

• Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what behaviors convey self-confidence.

• Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way. For an example, watch the movie Top Hat. Fred Astaire exudes confidence.

• Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or watch yourself on videotape.

6. Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas will help you practice so that you really understand your subject:

• Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety so it doesn’t paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness.

• Get organized. When your materials are prepared and well-organized, you will feel better about your ability to access them. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines your self-confidence.

7. Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work. The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent.

8. Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, don’t forget to give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this:

• Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Good work. I’m proud of you.”

• Think of a way to reward yourself.

• Tell others about your success.

• Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your journal.

• Draw a picture expressing your achievement.

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so I fantizise about my gf a lot. not like sex but like making out and stuff. we've never made out but I know she'd like it but I don't know how to tell her that I want some of these things without seeming like a perv. like making out and laying on a bed and stuff... laying between her legs and kissing her that kind if thing. how could I tell her that I want that or would it be better to just do it and see how she reacts?
thx!

just straight up tell her! when your hanging out with her whisper in her ear that you wanna make out with her to make it more "sexy." if you're a teenager which i'm guessing you are, most girls want to make out with their boyfriend. i'm sure she fantasizes making out with you too. it's perfectly normal and i'm sure she wouldn't blow off her chance if you asked her to do it!! she'll probably be thrilled you had the courage to bring it up.

hope i helped ♥

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Hey guys..I just wanted to know what you think is better..Being single over the summer or having a boyfriend?

well if you're single you can flirt with anyone you want and you just feel free with no limits.

if you have a boyfriend, you can do fun stuff with him like a walk on the beach, golfing, going in a pool and it would make a great date! Remember if you see another cute guy though, you can't flirt with him even if you're tempted! haha

i didn't fully understand the question, so i tried my best.

hope i helped. ♥

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well theres this guy i sorta like. but my friends really dont like him. and im embarrased to go out with him or what ever. i dunno what to do cus i cant stop likeing him!

tell your friends to screw off! (excuse my language) it's your life not theirs. if you want to go out with him then it's your choice. don't let your friends butt in and tell you what to do. take control of your life, and if you like him go for it. don't care what people will think either.

hope i helped ♥

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Here is something I have always thought to be true:

If you go to a food service-type industry, and the person serving you interests you, it is not entirely wrong if one were to make some sort of 'move' toward the person, perhaps in a subtely manner which may or may not end in the reception of a phone number.

However, unless provoked, the person serving, unless attempting to simply milk a tip from the person, should not directly hit on any customers.

Does anyone else agree? I work at an ice cream shop, and during the summer, there are plenty of...well...chances.

wow, you have good vocabulary. i can hardly understand one word you said but i'm going to try to help!! i agree with you. end of story.

there's nothing else to add because what you believe is a good thing so good choice!

hope i helped

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okay so my boyfriend is a little younger than me and hes not a virgin .. and hes cheated in the past .. but i just found out about all this today from his bestfriend .. so what should i do? .. i really dont like the fact that hes not a virgin .. and he just turned 14 .. so HELP !!


thnks chasity x

I think he's rather young to have sex, and if he's already had it with some other girl, sooner or later he might want to try it with you. You probably won't be ready yet, and it might be an awkward stage for you. So you have to decide what you would do if he ever brought up sex with you. If you can't even decide how you would respond to him, he may be a little too "advanced" for you. And don't worry that's NOT a bad thing! But of course, if you love him that much, then you shouldn't care if he's a virgin or not. Maybe it was a mistake he made in the past, and everyone makes mistakes and you shouldn't judge your relationship on one bad judgement.

And you say he hasn't cheated on you, am I correct? Well, how do you know for sure? Once again, you can't tell if a guy is cheating on you because obviously, he wouldn't TELL you if he was cheating. Like they always say, once a cheater, always a cheater. I'm not saying he's cheating on you or ever will, but you should give it a second thought. I would advise having a one on one talk with him. Tell him you're concerned that he's cheated on other girls and you don't want him to cheat on you. If you say it in a nice, orderly fashion, he should give you a good answer. People say they won't cheat again, but it's a hard habit to break. Over 75% people who have cheated on someone else, will do it again several times in their life.

Well, I hope I helped! ♥

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I like this guy and he knows it. We dont know eachother that well. My situation with him is really uncomfrotable because once he found out from my friend he told all his friends and now they stare at me. One of his friends(I swear to god this boy is gay and wants my crush) is ruining every chance that i even had with him. He shouts out "there she is!" "or go say hi" or "Oooohhh" or something equally stupid.Well at first it was cute b/c he would just stand up and smile at me and he was always blushing now its pretty lame cause his friend even got tampons then threw it at my crush and yelled "its from your girlfriend". Now its harder to talk to him he still looks at me but so do all of his friends and it makes me nervous he is never ever alone. If i even come near his one really annoying friend will definately embarass me. What should i do? Also I have no idea what to say to him so if you could give me some tips in case i ever do get him alone.

Wow, hunny this is a tough one. Uh... Does he have a screen name? If he does, talk to him online and tell him that you really like him but his friends are just getting in the away and tell him that his friends need to stop! If he doesn't have AIM, ask one of his friends or him what his number is. Call him and tell him how you feel. If he's always with his friends, then motion to him to come over to you. If his friends tag along, whisper in his ear that you need to talk to him alone and give him a little wink. Or slip him a little note saying that you need to see him without anyone else. And when you do get him alone, look him straight in the eye and tell him that you like him a lot but you feel that his friends are ruining everything and getting in the way. I'm sure he feels the same way, and if he likes you back he will tell his friends to back off a little. He seems like a sweet guy, so don't be scared to go up to him because if you don't, you could be missing out on a really great guy. So find some confidence and either talk to him online, on the phone, or in person. Talking to him in person would be the biggest turn-on because he's right in front of you and he'll be reminded how pretty you are. ;) Haha. I hope I helped. I'm not sure if I gave you enough info. but atleast I tried! If you want to ask me another question go ahead.

~~~~*BelLa*~~~~

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ok this is sort of personal but i don't care who answers it because i really need help. i'm fourteen years old and have a boyfriend that's been off and on for over a year. but we're so close now and are in love..no matter who says were "too young" we've gone pretty far in our relationship already, but not a home run. we've talked about going all the way before...but i'm not sure if i'm ready. sometimes i want to, but then i realize i'm only fourteen and shouldn't even think about wanting to. i'm risking a lot if i did this, but if we love each other is it worth it? so can someone whos experienced in this kind of stuff please help? cause i really need it.. thanks.

You are not ready for sex. Why may you ask? Well, when you're ready for sex, you won't be uncertain and you will know that this is the right thing to do. When you are second guessing yourself and thinking about your age, then you're just letting yourself know that you're not yet ready! You have you're whole life to have sex, so enjoy being a virgin while you can. Rushing into a sexual relationship is the worst thing you could do. You're only 14. Even if you use birth control and a condom, there's still a slight chance that you could get pregnant. Would you get an abortion or would you keep the baby? That's what you have to decide. And what if your boyfriend and you break up? I know you say you're "in love" but that could easily change. You guys could get in a big fight or find out he was cheating on you or using you, anything could happen and you could break up. That's the risk of having sex so young. Just remember, DON'T have sex until you know inside that you're ready. If you're scared about it or un sure, then you're not mature enough yet. And you're boyfriend will understand if you're not ready. Best of luck and I really hope I helped you.

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I have always kinda had seld esteem issues, all of my friends are gorgeous and i feel like i am the ugly duckling. You know in movies how their is a group of pretty girls and then they have an ugly friend, and one guy has to "take one for the team" and hang out with her.....i feel like that girl.

Its not that i'm fat, (5'9, 110 pounds) i know i'm not fat, i just never feel pretty.My friends tell me i'm pretty but i feel like that doesnt count because they cant call me ugly, i'm their friend. Any advice to boost my self esteem?

Just remember that you can't change who you are so you have to learn how to live with yourself. Everyone has something that they don't exactly "like" about themselves, but the reason you don't always notice that is because they have confidence. You have to be your own best friend. If you don't like yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to? Just go out there and live your life like you're the hottest girl in the world. If you act like you have a lot of confidence, then you'll be treated more with respect. You need to stop complaining about your looks, because honestly there's nothing you can do. Unless you want plastic surgery, then eventually you will have to learn that looks isn't everything. Think about all of the good things about you. What are some sports you're good at, or what are some talents that you have? Think about all of the achievements in your life. Leave out all of the negative things and fill your mind with the good qualities you have, and you'll feel much better. Don't criticize yourself because soooner or later if you haven't already, you'll find some people who will think you're really pretty. Just remember that people should not be judged on their appearence, but on their personality. You could look great, but if you're a bitch then you're the ugliest person in the world. If you're average looking but a sweet person, then people will like you because of how you treat them.

Hope I helped. Keep these tips in mind. :)

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well, me and this really good friend of mine have been friends with benefits for a while now; and we've come close to him fingering me but i stop him because i'm not sure how it SHOULD look down there. Should it be completely bare?just some?shavin all the way to between the legs? like, wut should it look like?Please DESCRIBE it ENTIRELY to me and tell me whether i should use a razor or what.thank you.oh yea, and i'm being completek serious.
luv yas
elbow

Hey. It really depends on the guy. I'm pretty sure about almost all guys want atleast some of it shaved off. Because come on, they deffinitely don't want a bush down there. So I think you should decide what you're most comfortable with. If you're nervous about shaving it down there and you're afraid that he might think it's weird that its all shaved off, then you could use a pair of scissors and trim it down a lot. But if you're concerned that he might be turned off by any pubic hair, then just shave it all off. If you're going to shave it all off, make sure you use a sharp razor and A LOT of shaving cream so you don't get razor burn. Your best bet would be to shave it all off, because he might get grossed out if there's hair down there. But don't be concerned too much because I'm sure if he's fingered other people before then he's probably dealt with people who shaved it all off and people who just trimmed it. I truly hope I helped and if you need more help then contact my inbox.

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Hi, I am a 15-year old female, that is in love with another girl. I am bi, and like my closest friends know about our relationship, but i don't want to let everyone know. We broke up because she says I am ashamed of her, but it's that I'm ashamed of my actions, but I love ha, how can I get over the fear of being classified as being "gay". please help because I want my girlfriend back

I think you shouldn't be ashamed of your true self. Being you can be embarrassing at times but you always get over it. If you really love this girl, then you shouldn't be ashamed. Just ask her out again and tell her you understand why she and you broke up but now it's all cool. Who knows, maybe you can have a strong relationship.

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