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E-mail: ashumms121@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Maryland
Age: 16
Member Since: April 28, 2007
Answers: 430
Last Update: September 24, 2009
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19/f
I've been with my bf for almost a year now, and he's incredible: kind, funny, sweet, smart, ect. We have a healthy sex life and it feels like I'm in love with my best friend. Our relationship isnt lacking in the least.
Recently, though, my ex asked me to be back on speaking terms with him. He's known as a man-whore, and the whole reason we broke up in the first place was because he's a known cheater. We've begun talking and I feel really weird about it.
I have no romantic attraction to my ex at all, but there's something that's compelling me to get physical with him (which he's trying to do). I've been able to deny him for a few weeks but I'm really afraid my resolve is getting thin.
I do NOT want to cheat on my bf, and I feel horrible for even thinking about it. I just need to convince myself that my ex is a scumbag, but for some reason I'm still drawn to him.. I don't know why.
Please don't attack me. I feel guilty enough and I haven't cheated on anyone ever. My bf is the LAST PERSON I would EVER want to hurt. So I need some assurance that I can get through this, and advice on how. Thank you.
-M (link)
First off, cut contact with him. Have you ever heard the saying "out of sight, out of mind"? Well, in this case it works. Yes, you will probably still think about him pretty regularly for the first week or two, and you will have to resist the urge to call him, but after that it will get easier and easier to resist the urge and eventually you will stop thinking about him as much. Just think about what your boyfriend would do and say and how hurt he will be if he found out every time you want to call him.


17/f. i'm very shy, & so is this boy that i kind of like. (well, i really just think he is insanely gorgeous, and want to get to know him, but yeah.) he is an art aid, in my art class. i really want to talk to him, but i don't know how. haha. like, how can i flirt with him? how can i even start a conversation with the guy? i was thinking asking for help, & i go up to the art teacher when shes busy, & i hope she suggests that he can help me, but this girl i know always says oh i'll help her. -__- & i ask a billion fake questions, hoping she'll tell him to help me, but she doesn't. hahaha. i catch him looking at me sometimes, he seems like my type, & i mean, what can i do to get him to maybe come talk to me...? (link)
When your art teacher is busy, don't hope she will suggest he help you. Just go up to him and tell him that you noticed your teacher was busy and you don't want to bother her, and want to know if he could help you. There's also less chance of this girl saying she will help you.

Now, onto the flirting business. Compliments are always a good starter. Try to find something that has nothing to do with his looks to compliment, like when he shares a good idea. When you have him come help you, sit close to him, make sure you're wearing a subtle perfume so he can just barely smell it. Brush shoulders, when he hands you something barely brush his hand when you take it. This will also work when he points out something, you point it out too, while simultaneously touching his hand. This will let him know you want to touch him, but it is also subtle.


I'm 15/f, and really fancy one of my guy mates. We're not just friends, we both act like we like each other, and although we have never actually kissed, it's obvious that we're more than friends. He'll do things like tell me I'm beautiful, stick up for me, ask me on dates just me and him, spoon with me all night, try to get us alone, and he's asked me to go to prom with him.

BUT, he is also involved with this other girl. I'm not really sure what's going on with them but I know they've had sex. I don't know if they're relationship is just physical or if he has proper feelings for her.

Also, he'll act like he really likes me, and then do things like take ages to text me back,and not go out of his way to see me at school (we have different groups of friends at school.) I just don't know what to do.

How can I get him more interested in me, find out whether he has feelings for this other girl, and just generally move our relationship forward? Because I really want to be with him and I think we'd be good together but I'm not exactly sure how he feels and things keep getting in the way.

I don't want to just ask him straight out in case playing hard to get would make him more interested. What should I do? (link)
Yes, sometimes playing hard to get is a good thing to do. Guys like the chase. Like, next time he asks you to hang out, tell him you're busy and make other plans. But sometimes, like in this instance, he's not playing hard to get, he's just being wishy washy. If he really liked you for you and wanted to be with you, he wouldn't let things get in the way of that. It seems childish, but in these kinds of situations, you have to play the jealousy card. Let him know he's not the only guy in your life. Ask another guy out or if there's another guy vying for your attentions, give them to him. If this guy likes you, he'll definitely be jealous and will act appropriately. When he acts on the jealousy, tell him straight out that you either want to be just friends and absolutely nothing more or you want to be a couple. Sometimes, you just have to give a guy an ultimatum to get them to act.


Okay so i really like this guy..he's so sweet and funny and everything is perfect! except when we hooked up..he was a bad kisser. he didn't use his tongue at all like it was boring! but i like him a lot and i don't want it to like end cause of that...how can i change his like kissing and make it better? what do i do!? (link)
Tell him "I want you to kiss me like this" and then kiss him how you want him to kiss you.


I was wondering if any of you ladies here can give me some of your best flirting tricks. The situation is still at it's beginning. I work for my local newspaper and so does he. We work in separate departments so we never interact unless I have to give him some documents or pass on the information architecture for a new page or so..... anyyywayy..... there is looking and stuff but i need precise down-to-the-last-detail information! i catch his gaze but never ever on a stalk-y way and he seems to respond... HE IS VERY VERY VERY SHY though i can tell... not the type of shy the stutters if spoken to but kind of like me, he'll seem so cool and nonchalant like nothing is wrong but radiates soooo much tension if i am in his vicinity but not talking to him... so basically he's so composed when talking to me but we're both a little awkward if we're in the same room but not interacting. i am not saying he (or I!) are not nervous talking to each other. oh my god no! that can't be farther from the truth! my stomach flips every single time and i don't know about him but i could imagine his too... the thing is i don't know what to do... I'd rather flirt non verbally than actually talking (i don't want to make the first move)... ps when we do talk its only strictly about work! i.e hi did mr boss leave the new files for me. Thank you. bye. and that's about it... a couple of times before there were situations where he flirted but that was it.

He's physically attracted (and i am sure he knows i am too!) what are some flirting tips suitable for this situation??? thank you! (link)
1. Pull out your lip balm/gloss/whatever you wear on your lips, catch his eye and apply. It'll make him think about kissing you.
2. Reach up with both hands to fix your hair, it straightens your back, pulls back your shoulders and juts your chest out ever so slightly. Trust me, he'll notice the swell, but don't worry, it's not slutty.
3. The next time you hand him a document, barely touch his hand, and wait an extra second or two before you let go of the paper, look him in the eye and smile.


i like this boy but he doesnt know i like him,,
we say hi and smile at eachother andd stuff
but like sometimes i dont know how to bring up a conversation and when we leave skool i regret standing there and not saying anything
i dont know what to bring up
can somone like gimie something to bring up
thanks

(link)
That's a good question actually, and while you're standing there trying to think of something to say to him, he's probably trying to think of something to say to you as well. Just make a comment about anything that's nearby. It's easy to talk about something that you're both seeing, hearing, etc.

For example, if he has a skater/basketball/hockey/etc. sticker, patch, etc. on his shirt, shoes, backpack, say something about it. Like if you know what team he roots for in football (since football is in season) see who they're playing and mention the game to him. Say how you can't believe how they missed that pass(this works much better if someone actually did miss a pass); or ask him the score of the game(just make sure there was actually a game on).

To tell you the truth, guys will pretty much talk about anything, especially if they're bored (which he probably is right after school waiting for the bus or whatever). I can attest to that. I got tongue-tied whenever I was around this guy I had a German class with and could never think of anything to say and pretty much always made a fool of myself whenever I talked to him. Like, one day I started talking to him about how all these rock groups lead singers were dying their hair blonde after dying it black for so long, and we somehow ended up having a long conversation about which bands we liked and which ones we thought sucked and how I wanted to learn how to play the drums, basically because I knew he played. So he offered to give me drum lessons if I helped him with his German.

See, guys can end up liking you even when you think you're coming off as a total wackbat.


started talking to rob two months ago. he moved an hour away but we manage to stay together, and hang on weekends. its ben rocky lately because hes extreely jealous. i was thinking about getting him a few nice sweatshirts or whatever. is it too soon, would he be weirded out?

thanks (link)
If you're going to buy him things just so he'll stop being mad at you, don't. Buying him expensive gifts will not kill his jealousy or his anger at whatever he's pissed about at that time. Over time, he'll realize that you buy him stuff every time he seems to get angry at you and will trick you into thinking that he's mad at you just so he can get free clothes/cd's/etc. I have first hand experience with a guy like this and I couldn't even see it until a friend pointed out the obvious. So I stopped buying him stuff and guess what? He dumped me. So don't buy into the lies that guys will like you more if you buy them stuff they want. They don't like you more, they like your credit card.


how do you tell a guy that you like him? if possible, i need help with what to say word by word...i feel like if i don't tell him sooner, it'll be too late! (link)
If you`re finally going to tell him you like him, break it to him gently. Start off with something that you know/think interests him, then start dropping hints.

Most of the time if you just let it show that you like him and not 'ignore' him because he won't get that. He'll just think that you're rude, so act really open towards him. Always smile or wave when you see him or talk to him if you can. If he likes you back then he'll get the message, and if by a small chance the feeling isn't mutual, he won't realize that you like him as more than a friend because that's how he feels about you. That way you won't have to be embarassed around him.

But, if he still doesn't get the subtle hints that you've been dropping, just hang out with him at a neutral place and just come out with it. Just make sure that you don't say you were 'just kidding' if he doesn't feel the same way. It makes you look immature. But if you take it cooly and make a little joke out of it, he may start to see you in a different light because he saw how cool you stayed in an awkward situation.

One of my best friends is a guy and he wants me to tell you: "Stop being such a coward and worrying about what you're going to say and just say what comes naturally when you're with him. If he doesn't like you then he's not worth your time anyway." Well, that may not be the exact wording he used, but it's pretty close.

Just go for it. You never know, he may be trying to figure out how to tell YOU that he likes you.


Yeah this is pretty kiddish. Because I'm almost 17 but how do you know? I've been talking to a number of guys and yet I can't tell which ones really like me or not. Like what are the signals. Do they say they miss you and stuff? I just want to know some signals on how to find out if he likes me or not. thank you for your help!!!! (link)
It depends on the guy what the clues are. When guys like you, sometimes they move at different paces.

He's a slow mover if he:
1. always says 'hi'
2. flirts with you...sometimes
3. hangs out with you when other people are around.
If the guy does this, be patient. Be bold and make a move, but don't come on too strong at first or you'll spook him. Like for instance, instead of actually calling him, tell him that you ALMOST called him for (insert reason here). If he likes you, he'll take the bait. Or you could convince one of your gal pals that one of his guy buddies is a cutie and set them up and conveniently tell your potential bf she wants to double up with you but you don't have a date.

He's smitten if he:
1. acts super friendly to you all the time
2. compliments you...a lot
3. conveniently tells you where he'll be on the weekends, but doesn't actually invite you to come too. He wants to see if you like him too, by showing up where you know he'll be.

Other clues:
1. he tries to cheer you up
2. he always tries to make you smile/laugh
3. he seems irritated when you flirt/smile at/etc. with another guy; and when you talk about another guy and will then try to find out everything about him to see if he has competition
4. tries to 'be the man' when you're with him and his buddies
5. he stares at you
6. if he focuses on you in a crowd/ or if he ignores just you when in a crowd
7. if he suddenly takes an accute interest in your friends (he wants to assure they like him so they'll put in a good word for him when he finally makes a move)
8. if he gets tonge-tied or just says the dumbest things just to keep talking to you
9. if he calls for no reason or for some stupid reason
10. if he takes up for you (a way to test this is to have someone you know dis you in front of him and see how he responds)
11. if he likes to play around a lot or tries to tickle you or play wrestle, or accidentally on purpose bumps into you (he just wants a reason to touch you)
12. he remembers things you told him four months ago, like the fact that you hate tomatoes
13. he hangs on every word
14. his pupils dilate when he talks to you.
15. he can't help but smile when your name comes up in conversation (have a friend talk to him about you or just mention that (s)he ran into you and observe how he acts)
16. he'll try to catch your eye from across the room/basketball court/etc.
17. he'll try to protect you

Hope these help.


after 7 months of dating, what is normal in a relationship? like should i start thinking about having sex with him or what? (link)
There isn't really a 'normal' relationship. Depending on the people, different types of things would be normal for them. You should only be thinking about having sex with him if you actually WANT to. Don't do it just because you think it's what's 'normal' for a seven-month relationship. Some people date for years before ever having sex. It's not like there's some kind of graph that can tell you exactly you should be doing at any certain time in the relationship. Hope I helped.


17/m

ok so i have a girlfriend that i love more than anything. she is my first love. we have been togeter like 7 months. but then im taking this class at the colledge and there is this girl in my class there and well when i saw her i saw that she was kinda hitting on me/ noticing me and well i kinda returned it. i dont even know why i did. im DEFF not the kinda guy to cheat EVER. its just not me. but lately i have been finding this other girl on my mind. but i have no intentions of breaking it off with my girlfriend cuz i love her no matter what.

so what do i do?
is this normal?
am i a horrible person for thinking about another girl like that
i know that i would never let myself do anything more than flirt tho.
ahhh

please help (link)
Flirting with someone that isn't your girlfriends doesn't exactly constitute as cheating. You're not actually 'doing' anything but letting people know you've still 'got it' even though you have a girlfriend. It's normal to be attracted to people you're not dating. Your girlfriend probably flirts too, but doesn't tell you about it, just like she doesn't want you to tell her about it.

It's okay as long as you don't do anything about the attraction. It's kind of like a 'phantom' or 'celebrity' crush. You think they're good looking but you know nothing will come of it. But if you happen to become emotionally attached to this other girl, you need to step back and reevaluate your relationship with your girlfriend and this 'phantom' crush. Even though you know you love your girlfriend, sometimes it just isn't the right time for you to be together. You may need to have different experiences before it can work out.

I really hope this helps you in some way and if you need more advice, don't hesitate to pop me one in my inbox.


well i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 weeks and we had kissed but not made out...dont ask why it took this long...but we finally did tonight...and i was really self conscious that i was doing it all wrong because i am not as experienced as him and he has alot of girls to compare me to and i have basically no one to compare him to...so do you think he will really care if i am bad at it? and if he does then it is obviously not going to work out.. right? (link)
Just because you haven't had much experience doesn't automatically mean that you're bad at it or you need a lot of practice. You can be a good kisser in a different way than another girl he's been with. Your technique could just be different than the other girls. To tell you the truth, he probably isn't worrying about whether you're better or worse than some other girl he's made out with because he's just excited he's getting to make out. If he kept making out with you after you started kissing, he liked it. He would have found a reason to stop kissing you if he really didn't like it. Hope this helps.


14/f

Right, I'm 14 and I've never snogged anyone. It might not sound that bad but most people about two years younger than me have snogged someone, and it's beginning to become a real problem.

I'm scared of getting into relationships with people because they'll have had experience and I worry that it will be awkward and they'll think I'm a bad kisser.

I don't like playing truth or dare and always try to get out of it because I might be dared to snog someone, or asked how far I've got. Most of my friends have gone further than snogging, and I'd feel really embarrassed if I had to admit the most I've ever done is kiss someone.

Is there anyway I can get over this and stop being so worried? And do you have any tips on snogging and how do it?

Sorry I said snog and snogging so much, I hate those words, but I wanted people to know what I meant, and not just think I meant a peck on the lips or something.

Thanks in advance, xxx (link)
The only way to get over this is to just get practice. You won't ever get experience if you're afraid that you might have to. Besides, the guy most likely won't even notice that you've never made out if you're not really tense about it and just go with the flow.

For some tips, go here:

http://www.links2love.com/dating_tips.htm (Be sure to stroll down)

http://www.partyhearty.com/kissingadvice.html

Hope this helps.


i am a female=] i love guys. i love one guy in particular. i am 13 going on 14.


yea. ok. so i liek this kid. hes a year older then me. hes in europe on vacation right now. i asked my friend to ask him if he likes me, but i doubt he does. hes in a very popular band where i live, and practically has groupies! well. 12-16 yr old groupies. it just makes me lose hope, liek he has all that to choose from, so why would he choose me? what should i do. i plan on telling him i like/almost love him when he gets back from europe, but i dont know how to do it. i dont want to ruin our frend ship, but i think i need to tell him. i wont be able to get over it if i keep thinkin 'what if'. I NEED HELP! (link)
Well, a one year age difference isn't that big of a deal. It's not enough of a difference to make you guys be on completely different levels.

Now, stop thinking about the 'what ifs' in this scenario. The truth is, he's probably sick of all the same types of girls hanging all over him all the time. Make your differences from all those clones stand out and I assure you he will notice them. But the thing is, he won't have a chance to notice them if you aren't around him enough to let him notice you.

Just make sure you don't act like you don't like him or he'll think, 'well, it's obvious she doesn't like me, so what's the point?' And don't think that he'll never like you back or that you're not as good as all the girls he hangs around or he'll sense that air about you and believe it too.

Instead of giving him a straight compliment, give him a 'complidiss'. Okay, I just made that word up, but it's basically just kind of digging at him but complimenting him too. An example: 'You looked really good up there, but your guitar playing could use a little work'. Just make sure you smile when you say it. It sounds flirty and you're telling him that you think he's cute, but you're not being so straightforward.

Hope this helps.


what does it mean when guys say your tight?
& is it a bad thing? (link)
It simply means that your vagina hasn't been stretched that much, i.e. as in having sex, or inserting other things in there, etc. For example, when guys say a girl is 'loose', it means they have sex often with many partners.

No, it is not a bad thing. The tighter you are, the better feeling for the guy.

Hope this helps.


uhhh well i have this friend and i think that i might have fallen in love with her but im not sure. She likes me as a friend, but i think i like her more then that. I really do not know if i should tell her, or how to tell her. (link)
There are many ways to go about this. I will give you a few. Caitlin had a good idea about asking her who she likes. But if she's not sure you like her, she may not say she likes you either. Here's a way to tell if she may like you: she blushes a little when she tells you, or she says someone's name that is similar to you. If she says someone who is completely different than you, then she may not like you in a romantic way. But you can never be too sure about that one though because girls can like two guys that are completely and utterly different. For example, I like two guys. One has blondish, shaggy hair, hazel eyes, likes hip hop, cars and drawing and is really shy and has a small group of close friends. The other one has short dark hair and eyes that are almost black, is really outgoing and mingles with pretty much every group, tells jokes nonstop and would rather be hiking than be inside drawing.

You could also gage her feelings about you by mentioning a girl you think is cute or pretty or something like that. You may have to do this a few times in order to read her right. If she likes you, she will probably get this sad or disappointed look in her eyes, but you have to be quick or you'll miss it. She may agree with you but probably won't look you in the eye if she likes you because she may be afraid to start crying. If she doesn't like you back, she may just agree or disagree with your choice and joke around about it before telling you who she likes.

The only surefire way to know if she likes you back is to just lay your heart in your open palm and hope she gives you hers back.


hi
can u get pregant if u are on birth control and using a condomn and he ejacuateing in me and
i am from va and im 18 and a female (link)
Well, both the birth control pill/patch and the condoms are only about 98% effective, but by using both you have a backup plan, Even using just the condom without the second method, it would be 98% effective even if he ejaculates inside of you. Condoms are made to have the ability to withhold his semen if he ejaculates in it if it is used properly. Make sure you squeeze the tip before you roll it onto his penis, this way, it has somewhere to go, where as if you don't squeeze the air out and he ejaculates, the air has to have somewhere to go and that is why many condoms break.

But, answering your question, yes, it is possible for you to still get pregnant. There is a little less than two percent chance of it occurring.


how can i know when someone is in love with me? am 21 year and i live in guadeloupe (link)
When someone is in love, they get this kind of 'glow' about them. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's kind of like an after-sex glow, except it's all the time, especially when they are looking at you. They smile whenever someone mentions your name or talks about you. They call just to hear your voice, say good morning, or say good night. They may text you or email you just to ask how your day is going. They go out of their way to see you. They remember things you said that you wouldn't think they would, like an opinion about some kind of soup. They're willing to ditch the 'little black book'. They are willing to go somewhere they absolutely hate or have no interest in just because you want to go. They think the idea of doing nothing together sounds great. They want you to be happy even if it means they're not.


I have four days to think up a one month anniversary present.
Help!!!!!
He's really sweet. And he can put up with me. He's the guy every girl dreams of.
13/f-me
13/m-him (link)
Well, I'm assuming you want it to be something personal, maybe even something from an inside joke you guys have? Since you didn't give me any specifics, try to answer these and I can give you a couple ideas. How did you guys meet? How did you start going out? What kinds of things do you do together? What's he into, i.e. type of music, sports(?), movies, etc.? This will help me get a better idea of things he might like.


I like this kid, but he has a long distace gf. they have been dating almost a year now, i want him. im not going to break them up, but i want him.. help please

Signed, huggless (link)
I know you don't want to break them up, but you have to at least give it a shot. It's like Declan said in Kyle XY, 'If they're meant to be together, they'll stay together.'

That's all I can say, or all Declan can say, rather. Hope it helped.




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