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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Can you get pregant if he come out but nuts on the side of your thigh ??
Yes it is very possible. When you are having intercourse the male emits some sperm as a lubricant while having intercourse. Most people refer to this as precum. He does not feel this emission and there is nothing he can do to prevent it. This emission of sperm is large enough to impregnate.
I suggest you do two things:
1. If this intercourse has been in the last 48 hours get and take the plan B pill. The plan B pill has also been known to work up to 7 days after intercourse as well.
2. Purchase two home pregnancy test kits and follow the instructions for when to test. Regardless of the results; test again 10 days later to confirm the test to rule out a false result.
In this day an age it is irresponsible of the male not to use a condom when having sex. The condom is not just for protection against pregnancy. The condom also guards against the transmission of many STD's and the HIV/SIDS virus.
Back in my day, during the dark ages of the 1960's and the sexual revolution the girls has a saying that is just as appropriate today as it was then. "No rubber, no lover."
Hopefully you and your boyfriend are 14 or older. IF so no store or drug store can refuse to sell you condoms, the Plan B pill or the test kits under a federal law called HIPPA.
Getting pregnant is a lot more complicated than just having sex. You have to have sex during the right time of the month, while you are ovulating. Which is called your fertile time; for most women this occurs some time during the 7th and 21st day of their menstrual cycle.
You know when your last period was and when it ended; count the days from then to when you had intercourse. If you know exactly when you ovulate then you are most fertile 3 days before and 3 days after your ovary ejects and egg.
22/f
my bf is great,but when it comes to making out he doesnt know how to. i try to take control and guide him but it doesnt seem to work. i dont want to tell him because i dont want to be rude but how can i work on this with him?
Sex, and making out is part of sex, is like everything else it is a learned experience. Copulating is something we all know how to do as it is in our DNA for reproduction purposes. Though what we do to lead up to that point has to be learned.
Obviously you BF is a late bloomer and did not have much opportunity to learn this in his teenage years. You are very wise though in not wanting to take the in not telling him though not for being rude but for damaging his ego; which in the male when it comes to sex is very fragile.
Now there are way to show him how to be a better lover and how to take this as far as you’re willing to go. Like everything else in life great sex starts with great communication.
You want to have a conversation with him that goes something like this. "Bob I really like where we are going and are love making is getting to be good but I want to make it great. Tell me if you like what I'm doing when we make out, if you like where I ouch you, kiss you and so on. I would love to hear about your fantasies and I will tell you what I like and my fantasies and hopefully we can play them out and have a better make out session maybe even great sex latter.
Words to that affect. Keep it positive keep it as to you asking and doing the telling so you can draw him out and let him allow you to teach him what you like. Whether it is this guy I named Bon or a future lover. Great sex, great relationships and great marriages are dependent on great communications.
Okay so I am 15 and I have had my period for 3 years now and I am masterbating but I am a virgin well one day I noticed that I have like a lump in my vagina, it's not rock hard but it is kinda hard and it frightened me. Please help me what is it? Is something wrong with me? 😭
First don't panic as this is probably nothing to worry about. While this needs to be checked by a doctor. You could if you want tell you mom about it without telling her you found it by masturbating.
It is recommended that everyone routinely do self-examinations of their breasts and pelvic areas while bathing. This goes for both males and females. You could very easily tell mom you found it while showering and examining yourself. Then with moms input decide to see a GYN.
At age 15 under a federal law called HIPPA states you do not need parental permission for something of this nature. In fact the purpose of this law is for just such an occurrence where you have a problem related to your reproductive system you may be too embarrassed to tell a parent about and need to seek a doctor's help.
Under HIPPA starting age 14 any one could seek a doctors help with anything related to their reproductive system in total confidentiality. Meaning your parents can never be told by the doctor what you see the doctor for or what you may be treated for without your expressed written permission. You do not need parental permission to make a doctors appointment or be treated by the doctor.
In fact if mom is with you when seeing the doctor and you do not want her in the exam room with you she cannot be there. All you have to say to the doctor is: "I invoke my rights to privacy under HIPPA" and mom will be instructed to wait in the waiting room. She will never be told what you and the doctor discussed or what you were treated for unless you give written permission.
I'm fairly certain what you have is some type of cyst. If you shave your pubic region it could be an ingrown hair. Until a doctor looks at it you won't know. While I am not a doctor what I am practically sure it is not is a cancerous lump as that is not a common area for that type of lump to develop.
So my advice is to if you wish talk to your mother especially if you shave as in all probability it is an ingrown hair and mom would know better than I if you let her look at it or feel it. Nothing to be embarrassed about for she is built just like you.
Your other alternative is to seek a doctors opinion by making an appointment with your GYN, Family doctor, any free women's clinic or walk-in Clinic. You could also go to a hospital emergency room.
For right now don't panic the odds are well on your side that this is nothing serious but need to be seen by a doctor as soon as you can see one.
How could i no tht i am virgen??
Are you asking; "How do you know if you are a virgin?
If this is your question, just how old are you? Most people know this answer by the time they reach puberty and have had sex education in school.
If you masturbate and have an orgasm (girl) or ejaculate (boy) you are still a virgin as you have not had sexual intercourse.
Todays definition of virgin for a girl is one who has not had her vagina penetrated by a penis.
For a boy it is someone whose penis has not penetrated a girls vagina.
I hope this answers your question.
So I am in my late 20s, i'm a little overweight, partly due to some medication I am on. My doctor says this is normal. I am able to run, walk long distances without puking, passing out etc. Every year when I get my physical and bloodwork done, everything comes back perfect.
My mother treats me like I weigh 600 pounds. She is constantly judging what I eat and making comments about it. I am at the point where I feel extremely uncomfortable eating around her or going out with her. I am comfortable in my own skin but she obviously despises how I look, and has made some pretty nasty comments. I've told her that I'm happy with how I am but she constantly tries to make me see nutritionists or try fad diets.
How can I make her understand that what she is doing is hurtful and depressing?
I agree with missundersmock answer what mom needs is a swift kick in the seat of her pants; or as I call it a "Come to God lecture" from you; by the way I'm in the same boat as you with several medications I take for chronic pain. They all cause weight gain.
You are over 18 an adult and totally responsible for your own well being. If she were my mom what I would say to her is this. Mom if we are to have a continuing reasonably sound mother daughter relationship you have to stop hounding me about my weight. The problem is as I have told you time and time again not totally with in my control which is caused by medication I take.
I have annual physicals which my doctor is pleased with the results as which I am. I am healthy and you should be pleased with that. You constant criticizing of me for something I have no control over is not only demoralizing it is depressing. I will not get depressed over something I cannot control. If you love me you will accept what is. If you cannot then I will have no choice then to limit our time together.
You are the only one unhappy with how I am. My doctor is happy and I am not only happy but comfortable with the way I am. You should be happy that I'm happy. If not that is your problem I am not going to let you bring me down anymore.
Of course you use your own words but they have to be as tough as I have written. I realize at 20 years old standing up to your mother is going to be hard though it is something you must do; not only for your sanity today but to keep mom from controlling your life in the future.
i rubbed small hole on side my penis using sex toy.seem to have leakage
Without being able to see this hole it is hard to say just what you did to yourself. I have my doubts you rubbed a hole clear down to your urethra if so I would think you would be in severe pain.
Instead what you may have done is given yourself a blister. This is based on the fact that you “rubbed" yourself with a sex toy. The leakage is from the blister breaking. Blisters have been known to become infected and this is one you certainly don't want to become infected.
I would suggest you go to one of the walk-in clinics and let a doctor look at this "hole" and treat it so it does not become infected. In the future when using this sex toy use some type of lubricant such as petroleum gel or K-Y gel both are available over the counter at any drug store.
I work in sales as a telemarketer. I sell insurance to people over the phone when they activate their credit card. When I first started I wasn’t doing very well and had low sales. I finally memorized the selling pitch and reached the percentage goal my supervisor set for me. At work, I have to meet with my supervisor once a week. Recently, they switched my supervisor. My old supervisor was strict but encouraging. The new one is very critical. He constantly pressures me to make sales. In the days that my sales are low he forces me to admit my faults and why I wasn’t making sales. Normally, I would talk very little and nod my head and say yes to whatever he says. It’s my fault because….
The last time we spoke I had enough. I told him honestly that some of the callers admitting to having financial troubles and can’t afford our product, which I understand. Some say no right away and hang up. I said I was not going to push something on a person if they truly didn’t want it. He said I have a negative mind set for accepting that. I should always assume everyone is going to say yes. I asked if he was calling me negative. He asks me why I was being defensive. I said I wasn’t. He returns to his regular routine.
It’s your fault because…
I can’t stand him. I can’t help it. I started crying. He comes up with the excuse that I was under stress from health issues I had previously told him about and offers me candy. See, this was the first time I spoke up and I felt like he was not listening to me and throws blame at whatever possible.
I liked my job and my old supervisor. I was more productive with her and not him. I want to switch back, if possible. I don’t know how I will react when I see him next week. I believe he’s the one making me have a negative mind set by constantly making me recite this. It’s up to the point where I’m making stuff up like: It’s your fault because…my tone wasn’t cheerful enough. I paused too long between sentences, etc…
When they make someone a supervisor in sales it is generally because they are a superstar at selling. The hope is that there ability can be transferred to those they supervise.
Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Supervisors have to be trained they do not grow into the job because they were great salespeople. I was in a situation where me and the rest of our region were constantly making amends for his mistakes and the problems he caused. We finally had enough and made it our goal to get him promoted. We succeeded and he promptly fell on his face without us to backstop him.
You could go to HR or upper management and ask for a new supervisor. If HR is good at what they do they will understand that there are times when people just don't work well together. That his way of motivating someone is not motivating to you but more demoralizing and works against the goal you are trying to obtain.
The flip side is they may not be able to move you and they counsel him. Now he is under the microscope and thinks could get worse for you. Does he use any four letter words, you know the kind I mean, when you meet with him. If he does then you have an EEOC action for making a hardship in the work place. The way he talks to you now may just make it into that description as well.
IF you do go to HR you might want to say you believe you have an EEOC complaint against your supervisor then explain to them how he talks to you and how it ended with you in tears. HR has to investigate all EEOC complaints.
I had a bad experience at a hospital for the 4 days I was recovering from surgery. They would ignore my calls when I press for them. They apologized and I was told that the call button on my bed was broken and they never heard me. I almost peed on myself multiple times and almost fell on the floor. When I filed complaints to the hospital and state board they say they can't do anything about it. Because of what happened I developed panic attacks now, which I have never had before. It's due to the fear of being left alone in a closed room and having no one answer my calls for help. I feel like I need to see a professional counselor about this. I called a counseling hotline about it but they were no help. He just wanted my name and information.
You have suffered a form of trauma in the way you were treated. I agree you need professional help to put this behind you. I do not understand why the hotline you called was not more help. The ones I generally recommend work with you until they find you someone in your town to work with you. Unfortunately I do not have a resource for your problem to recommend to you.
I do though have two recommendations for you.
1. Go see your family doctor and explain to him or her about the panic attacks. There is medication the doctor can give you that will help while you contact the therapist you should ask your doctor to recommend for you.
2. I would suggest you contact a lawyer about how you were treated and the pain and suffering you are now suffering with. I believe you have action in court under a malpractice civil suit against the hospital.
If you do not know a lawyer contact your local Bar Association for a recommendation of a lawyer who practices in the area of malpractice.
It is my belief between the medication, therapy and any legal action a lawyer may recommend you will be able to put this behind you and the anxiety attacks will go away.
As for paying the lawyer; if you have a good case the lawyer will offer to take it on what is called contingency. This is where for a percentage of what they recover for you they agree to represent you. If they fail to recover anything you owe them nothing. If an attorney will not take this type of case on contingency it means they do not believe you have a good case. In which case you probably should not sue the hospital as you will be paying for the lawyers time out of pocket for an action the lawyer feels is not winnable.
21/f
Hello,
I have been studying about marriage and family therapy for the previous four years. It has always been an interest of mine. I was planning on pursuing marriage and family therapy for graduate school and now since the time has come, I'm having doubts.
I was thinking about just going into regular counseling and just my LPC. But the classes for marriage and family therapy interests me more. The only thing stopping me is the risk of becoming a marriage and family counselor. Many people have asked and told me, "you're not even married. Who would want to go to you for advice? Who would want to get advice or see someone for help who has never been married before?"
That makes me have doubts. Should I continue to pursue my interests and take the risk of not getting any clients? Or should I just take the safe route and choose regular counseling which the classes don't interest me as much?
Think about this for a moment. Catholic Priest's do Marriage and Family counseling as well as premarital counseling. They do this quite well and they have never been married. Neither do you have to know how to drive a car to be a great mechanic or know how to fly a plane in order to fix one in fact most aircraft mechanics cannot fly a plane.
My point is just because you have not experienced something does not mean you cannot be good at what you do. It is your training and your approach that people will come to your for. As the counselor you are the disinterested third party who is or hopefully able to see the forest for the trees and help these people chart a better ending to their problems. You are the voice of reason. You do not have to have experienced their life or their pain in order to know how to help them.
My advice is to follow the road that interests you the most. At some point you will know if this is the road you wish to follow as a life profession. IF it is not you can make changes as I'm sure some of the course for both regular and family counseling will be the same.
I love my bf a lot and he loves me to but I want to take our relationship further and make out with me....... Problum is he is shy and not that romantic me have only ever hugged before.
BTW I am 11 (bf is 2) And I'm a girl
Wow, you're a little young to be making out you are not even a teenager yet. Also from a maturity standpoint you are about 2 years older than your boyfriend. NO that does not mean you are from a maturity standpoint 13 or he is 10. It just means you are not equal in age by maturity. This is why you are ready to kiss and hug and may be to be felt up and may be more interested in bike riding and playing soldier.
I'm old enough to be your grandfather or even be your great grandfather. What is important to know and understand is life goes by so fast that the next thing you know you missed something if you rush through it. Slow down, enjoy being 11 and 12. When you turn 13 do not rush through your teenage years as they only come around once and they are meant to be enjoyed and to be a period of learning how to be an adult. Do not skip over any part of it for later you will regret what you missed.
You may not totally understand the previous paragraph though do yourself a favor and print it out and put it in your diary. Refer to it from time to time and as you get older and mature more it will make more sense, that I can promise you.
I am 38. I have two children born via c-section. I've been a dancer for 35 years, and as a result of lower extremity strength and flexibility, I've maintained an unbelievable amount of "tightness." Of course, with previous partners, I was always told I was small but sex was not impossible. Two years ago, I had a full hysterectomy, and have been too nervous to have an intimate relationship with anyone.
I finally have found someone who is amazing. He's about a foot and a half taller than I am, and, although he is not the largest of my previous partners, he is definitely NOT the smallest. We have found that penetration is impossible. Lubrication was not an issue, foreplay not an issue either. Just won't fit. We finally were able to do partial penetration, but because I was so small, he wasn't able to maintain his erection, because it actually hurt him as well.
Please help. He's nervous about hurting me, and yes, it does hurt a bit, I know that once it works, the pain will ease up a bit. I'm just at a loss on how to make it work. I feel like a virgin again, I haven't had this level of difficulty since the day I lost my virginity.
Please help. The level of sexual inadequacy is disheartening.
There are two things I can think of to offer you in the way of suggestions.
1. Talk to your GYN. There may be something he or she can do surgically or even with something like Botox to release those muscles a bit so you can have successful intercourse.
2. This is going to sound a little strange but it can also be fun for the two of you if you want it to be; especially if surgery is not an option.
Go to an adult toy store or look some up online. Purchase some dildo's and vibrators starting with the smallest ones working up gradually to the size of your boyfriends penis. Use these to get your vaginal muscles to stretch and get use to accommodating your boyfriends penis. If you want run this suggestion by your GYN and see what he or she thinks of it.
It may take a combination of a relaxation medication injected into the muscles and my suggestion to stretch your muscles to allow for easier penetration.
If you go for my suggestion make it a lovers game part of a mutual masturbation session. He uses the vibrators on you with plenty of lubrication starting with the smallest while you masturbate him. Hopefully you both climax and have fun while stretching your muscles.
Ok so..I am a fifteen year old girl. I am really thin for my age, but I've always been self conscious about my body, as well. I noticed this when I was about twelve. My right breast is larger than my left. Do I need to get implants? Do I need to see a doctor? I talked to my mom about it, and she thinks it will eventually grow, but its been three years now, and I really don't think it will, but I don't want to end up with asymmetrical breasts! That is embarrassing. Please help. Advice is much appreciated!
No two breast are exactly the same size there will be a small difference in size between each breast. If there is a large difference a 1/2 cup or more then you may want to talk to your doctor about this.
There is a medical term for this problem that at the moment escapes me. In general the fix is usually plastic surgery to augment the smaller breast. At 15 years of age this is probably not the time to have this surgery done. Since this is a medical problem the insurance company will most likely pay for the surgery to correct it as they would any birth defect.
In general though they will only pay for it one time. Since you are still in your developing years I would suggest waiting until you reach age 17 or 18 and the doctors are confident you have developed as much as you are going to.
Then find a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon if you want the surgery done the best way possible. Most states allow any doctor who has done a residency in Plastics to practice Plastic Surgery.
A Board Certified Surgeon is someone who has done a Fellowship in this area of Surgery and is Certified by the College of Plastic Surgeons to Practice Plastic Surgery.
My Wife had a Mastectomy and had Breast reconstruction. We were fortunate enough to be directed to a Board Certified Plastic surgeon for this surgery. With a lot of Breast augmentation it is easy to spot the augmentation as the prosthetic ring is visible under the skin. Not on my wife. In fact I'm her husband and I have to remind myself which is the factory original and with is the replacement part when we are making love. Even feeling them I cannot tell the difference. She had a great surgeon. Her other doctors, our family doctor, the general surgeon and her Oncologist are all amazed at the results of her reconstruction.
I firmly believe it is because we were fortunate enough to have found a Board Certified surgeon that my wife is happy with the results as am I.
Is it preferable for women who have vaginal problems to use menstrual cup during menstruation?
Here is a link to some more information on menstrual cups.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual
When you're ready to purchase you can find some good prices and availability at Amazon and other merchants. Just type menstrual cup into your search engine.
I'm 16/f. I have a boyfriend and I really do love him but I wouldn't go as far as sex for a long time because I want to be super mature about it and make sure he's the one I wanna lose my virginity to. Although, I want to go as far as third base with him. But I'm just wondering if it'll be awkward? What does it feel like? Will I reach an orgasm? I just want to be very educated!
I found the following website, found at bottom of this page, while answering a very similar question for another young lady. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman must always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
What I mean is boys confuse love and lust. To them love and lust have the same meaning where as for women or girls they have separate definitions. Make sure he loves you not just lusts for you.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, comfortable, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent; I believe at 16 you are s little young to be engaging in sexual intercourse. I am sure your parents have already given you this advice and it is good advice. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision review the website I have included below:
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
my life wasn't necessarily better. but i was never depressed, though sometimes i got a bit sad. and i always had straight As. things changed around the time i turned 13 or 14. i don't get how it could be puberty, when i had my period at like.. 10. and school wasn't necessarily super difficult. and yet i had a horrible time in high school. i started college and had to take a break because i still couldn't overcome my past to focus on my future. i have dreams and everything i want to chase, but while in the past, i'd be that one kid who always went OVERBOARD on a school project, and was able to get myself to do it on time and everything, now the most difficult part is getting the motivation to go all the way through and not get distracted by the internet. it's not that i wasn't frequently on the internet at a young age, i was, but it was easier for me to switch that off and do the work. now it's like.. i have so much hatred for myself that i won't even let myself do the great work i'm capable of to get into my dream school or get that A+ due to the essay being given in on time, and etc. i mean.. i feel a lot of my depression happened because my social life was pretty much dead in high school, but i didn't have much more of a social life when i was younger and i was still optimistic for the future. i used to even read all the time, and now, i haven't read a book for fun in months. i have a goodreads account with hundreds of books but i feel now i dont even have the time to get into that because i have other responsibilities i'm neglecting. i mean.. i don't think it's just laziness because with other things i go beyond normal. at work, although i'm working on my tardiness, i always go extra. i'm normally one of the earliest to arrive and one of the latest to leave. and when i say i'm early and late i mean like i could come even earlier than necessary, to get extra pay, cause my hours are flexible. but once a counselor just said it was laziness and i found it offensive because that is not my situation. i can't turn in an assignment that's crap. i'm that one who takes the group project by the reigns when i feel others aren't doing enough work for our shared grade. it's ironic, because i'm actually better at committing to things like group projects and work because they involve other people, and even if they're not my friends, i don't want responsibility for failing others. with me however.. it's so difficult for me to write college application essays. excuse my grammar here, i'm actually a good, detailed writer, but i'm just letting my thoughts flow out naturally, here. i've had bad experiences with therapists so i thought maybe some peers here would be more helpful, as i don't really have friends to confide such info to, who could really help me. anyways, i feel like self-promotion is a bit vain so it's so hard to write about myself, when i have to. i just hate how inefficient as a person i've become. i used to be so strong and now like i don't even understand why i sabotage myself. if i want friends i'm not helping matters if i'm not in college. if i want my dream job i'm not helping matters if i'm not doing well at college. etc. how do i commit to doing good things in the long run, instead of maybe trying it one day and giving up the next? it's not right that i feel i'd have been a better college student at 12 than now at 19. mentally, i think that it's fine i dont have a boyfriend or anything now, it's totally not important right now, but dumb things do get to me unfortunately, as i'm human. but being human isn't just about being weak. it's also about being strong. so i should be able to not let such things get in my way or make me feel bad about myself to self-sabotage just because i have made mistakes in the past, and have some regrets. i can't change the past, so regrets are useless. and nobody's perfect, and i don't seek perfection, but i seek being the best i can be, and i know now that i'm currently not at my best.. sorry for the repetition. but yeah. i really hope you can help, i'll read any genuine help
Puberty can last well into your early twenties. As to why people may blame things on puberty; it is because the hormones released by puberty effect every one differently. At one time, not all that long ago may two generations, we thought children having trouble with puberty such as what you right about and other things. Was a phase they were going through and they would grow out of it. Most children did others did not. You may be among the others.
Doctors, and I am not a doctor, now know that this phase is not a phase but actually a medical problem they can help with. Sometimes the hormones released by puberty are not balanced causing an imbalance in the area of the two hormones that hope us cope with much of what keeps us from getting depresses. Teenagers especially females have a lot to cope with given everything that changes in their world.
In general a teenager has to deal with more responsibility both at home as more is expected of you as you are no longer consider a child. Your social life changes as does how you attend school. If you’re a girl you also have to cope with the changes your body goes through and boys with roving hands. This is a lot to deal with and add to these insufficient hormones that help you cope or an imbalance with these hormones and you get depressed.
Now since I am not a doctor I cannot make that diagnoses though it sounds like you may be from what you have written. It is easy enough to find out and it is painless. Make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete physical. The doctor will want to do one anyway once you tell the doctor you want to be screened for depression. The screening consists of questions the doctor will ask you while completing the physical. The physical itself is to rule out any organic problems for how you feel.
Once the doctor makes a diagnoses a simple pill once a day for maybe a year or two along with some talk therapy to help you understand what has happened and to put yourself back on track, may be all that is needed.
Should I be correct in my assumption underneath all the gloom you have written is that person you remember and want to get back to being? I also agree with the previous writer that you are being way too hard on yourself. It is okay to get the occasional B or B+. You need time to have a social life and to make friends. If you need advice as to how to make friends write back to me and I will give you some suggestions.
In the meantime try adopting my motto; "The only person I need to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today" In other words stop competing with other and compete only with yourself. For me I used this motto in my work and it meant that I wanted to learn something new each day to help me help my customers so I could grow my business.
by saying there's such thing as "male" or "female" behavior? You "feel" like a boy because a company, trying to make a profit, designated toys as "for boys" or "for girls"? I don't understand what's wrong with interpreting sex as gender.
And no, I'm totally against abuse against LGBT people, and also find the suicides heartbreaking, but when I see Laverne Cox, I see a man, not a woman, and I think it's ridiculous to say it's "an act of violence" for me to have that belief, supported by science.
One can get a boob job, but that doesn't make them any more of a woman, just like getting a mastectomy doesn't make one less of a woman. One can get prosthetic privates, but their DNA still reveals their true gender/sex. Sexuality is different. As of now, and possibly forever, there's no evidence of a "homosexual" or "bisexual" gene. But sex/gender is identifiable.
Trans issues have really been public this year, in 2014, and I support people's happiness, but these contradictions have just been plaguing my mind...
Kisakiss19 put it in a long form. I'll try to put it in short form.
When it comes to homosexuality and transgender the only thing we know for sure is no one wakes up one day as says I'm gay or lesbian or I'm transgender. These people are born this way. It is in their DNA. That scientists know, just not why.
Unlike transgender person; Gays and Lesbians are not unhappy with their bodies. They are just attracted to the same sex sexually. A transgender person literally cannot stand their body. Males have been known to try and cut off their penis and women their breasts.
The best science can come up with, at the moment is their is something in the wiring of the brain that makes a transgender person feel as if they are in the wrong body. Now nothing says that even if they find out what this wiring is that they can change anything. I'm not sure we should even if we could.
If someone can change their sex by getting a boob job, a hysterectomy or a prostatic. If this makes them happy, makes them feel more complete as a person who are we to judge them. Why should this bother you? The fact that medical science can even do this for them speaks volumes about why we should not be bothered by it and be happy that these people who have been tormented by whatever happened at conception, now makes them complete and happy.
The real problem with homosexuality and transgender is we as a people not just here but worldwide do not trust what we do not understand. If we tried just a bit to understand that what we don't understand there would be far less hate in this world.
So recently I got in touch with my father and we didn't talk much because I'm really shy and when I meet new people and it takes awhile for me to get used to them. For christmas he gave me a really expensive gift that I was not expecting and because of it I shielded away even more because it felt kind of like he was trying to buy his way into my life and I have now not talked to him for a couple of weeks not even daring to go on facebook because of him. Today I did dare and I shared a few things and kept the tab open while I went to do other stuff. When I looked back I saw I had a message from him and it said "What, you can't talk to me now?" and now I feel horrible but I also feel he is being rather rude about it and I don't know what to do and if someone could please help me I would be forever grateful.
I gather from you writing that growing up your father was not in your life. That one of you has since sought out the other and made contact. It would be normal for this to be awkward for anyone let alone someone who is basically a shy person.
So the Christmas present he bought you was expensive? Is he trying to buy his way back into your life? He is the only person that knows this answer. There are other possibilities though. Maybe he is just trying to make up for all those Christmases he missed? Maybe he can afford expensive present and this is what he does? I know I can afford expensive gifts and I get great pleasure giving them to people I love. It also could be his way of showing you how happy he is to have you back in his life.
One question; Was your father aware of your birth r was this something your mother hid from him. IF you came as a surprise to him that he had child he was not aware of my last answer may be the most correct. I know I would be very pleasantly surprised to find I had an adult child I was not aware of. OF course I would also be upset with your mom but never at you.
I suggest you write you dad and thank him for his gift. Tell him you were caught by surprise by how lavish his gift was and also a little embarrassed and did not know how to accept it given how recent the two of you have connected. Tell him you would like to get to know him better (if you want to) but it has to be at a pace you are comfortable with as you are a shy person.
You can suggest meeting for coffee or hamburgers at first to just talk and get to know each other. Meeting in public places should be more comfortable for you as they are safer. Once you get to know him better then you can move on to having dinner with him and meeting at his home or yours. I am of course assuming your are an adult and not living with your mom.
I have been hearing that swimming is a great way to lose weight. I am considering learning to swim but the problem I have is since I am overweight will I be able to float and stay straight in the water like other people do? Also I am 23 years old
Short answer is yes.
Floating has nothing to do with weight, how much or how little. If you look at your body as a ship in the water you float because of the amount of water you displace. It is that water that holds you up.
Now salt water is easier to float in then fresh water. Fresh water takes a little effort on your part to float as you need to constantly displace some water to remain floating. Your instructor will teach you this.
I like to swim using the back stroke, for two reasons. First floating on my back is my preferred way to float and by swimming with the back stroke if I want to stop and float all I have to do is top. To remain floating I can either kick my legs a bit or do a back stroke when I need to.
Floating is a great way to relax in a pool. Once you learn how I believe you too will enjoy it.
My husband and I have been married for over a year now. He is a spender and I am a penny pincher. However, when it comes to the holidays I like to spend freely. For Christmas he was against having a budget planned so we didn’t know how much we spent on each other. I spent probably over $200 on him. Luckily he left all the price tags on my presents and it amounted to about $80. Perhaps I’m the Grinch but what really bothers me is he spends so much on himself outside of the holidays.
He spends over $200 a month eating out, over the past few months he bought himself a new computer for about $2,000 for his computer games, then another $300 on his other toys per a month. For Christmas I felt he spent more time, money and effort buying for his friends than on me and our families. And I spent more time and effort finding gifts for his and my family.
When these events happen I start dwelling on other things. Like the fact my wedding band cost $35 and I spent over $200 on his. My engagement ring was given to him. When I add up the figures it really gets to me and I start thinking of him as a selfish fat pig. When I bring up the topic of money it turns into hurt feelings and an argument. Maybe I have a justice system complex. I feel left out, hurt, clueless and at a loss what to do.
I know exactly how you feel as I'm the one that takes the time to figure out what to buy people for their birthday and for the holidays. My wife for my birthday unless I ask for something specific I'm lucky if I get a card. For Christmas she will run out and buy me a few shirts and maybe some socks and underwear and calls it Christmas. While she does not spend much money on herself she will spend lavishly on our only child. Who by the earns about 30% more than we do.
Now I married the original coal miners daughter who grew up poor in the coal mining towns of NE PA. The presents she got at Christmas is what she buys me. We can afford to buy them as needed and it is not something you buy at Christmas as I see it.
After 43 years of marriage I finally got tired of these presents and told my wife so. I'm retired I have shirts from past Christmases I haven't worn yet and told my wife so. I told her no more of these type gifts and gave her a Christmas list the same as my son does each year.
Like your husband some of the things that could be bought as presents are things I may buy during the year as while they may be looked at as toys they may also be needed for the work I did. Such as a computer, laptop or tablet.
I have adopted the adage that it is better to give than to get. I do get great pleasure in searching for the right gift, especially for my wife as I am trying to drag her into the 21st century electronic world.
Yes I have gotten depressed in years past having gotten the short end of the stick so to speak. But it is not worth getting sick over. I married her for I love her and she has always been this way. She is the mother of my son and did a great job raising him.
You married your husband because you love him. I assume you knew him before you married him. Is the way he is in gift buying for you a deal breaker worth breaking up your marriage over. Is the fact that your engagement ring was given to him any less meaningful. It just might be that ring was his mothers or grandmothers you don't say how he came by it. If so it could be far more valuable than anything he could have purchased on today's markets.
My boyfriend and I are both 16 and we have been dating for a few weeks now and 2 days ago was his birthday. We hungout and had a great time and now it's 2 days later and I haven't talked to him since. I've tried texting and calling him and he hasn't answered either. I'm getting really worried something is up. I've contacted his friend and he wasn't with his friend the past couple of days. I'm worried this is his way of getting rid of me or breaking up. What is your advice or opinion about the situation? Plz and thanks.
I can only think of one thing since you didn't mention it in your writing. If you did not get him a present for his birthday then he could be upset with you. Being together for just two weeks you cannot really say the two of you are in a relationship that would require anything more than a card acknowledging his birthday.
If he did expect a present and you didn't get him one then he is probably upset at this. If you did get him a present then I am at a loss as to why he isn't contacting you. He would be a very shallow person if he started dating you just to get a birthday present then dump you.