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Scared to go to third base with my boyfriend
I'm 16/f. I have a boyfriend and I really do love him but I wouldn't go as far as sex for a long time because I want to be super mature about it and make sure he's the one I wanna lose my virginity to. Although, I want to go as far as third base with him. But I'm just wondering if it'll be awkward? What does it feel like? Will I reach an orgasm? I just want to be very educated!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
If you're scared, then you have already answered your own question. Sex is for one man and one woman after marriage. Don't let this guy try and force you into losing your virginity to him at this point in your life. Sex isn't just something to joke around about and be so carefree about. If he doesn't understand that, then he doesn't need to be in any relationship with any girl. Trust me... doing this at this age for one isn't healthy and two unnecessary. You have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Even though you may not think you can... trust me... you can definitely wait. Hoped that I could help.
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You'll probably feel quite nervous however prepared you are. Get rid of unwanted pregnancy anxieties by thoroughlt discussing contraception well in advance. Have all you need to hand (ie condoms, more than just one would be a good idea) and know how it's used. It will probably feel a bit awkward in a way, becaus you are sharing intimacy with another person on a higher level. THE highest level. He's not only close, he'll be physically inside you. It may or may not feel a bit uncomfortable, or a little painful at first. Any pain is mainly due to involuntary muscle tensing, as they do when we are nervous. So try to stay as physically relaxed as possible, bit tricky when your imaginations doing cartwheels I know. But try the best you can. (It's natural to assume anything that causes any sort of even slight pain or discomfort must be damaging or wounding your body in some way....and panic. Having sex is of course NOT abusing or damaging your body. So DON'T panic!)Don't let him rush to penetrate you. Lot's of loving and kissing and touching before you attempt to start. You should feel nice and wet and, a nice hot and sort of tingly feeling down there. As you do when you're aroused. Reaching an orgasm will need you to be relaxed and confident about your body and your responses, basically about yourself...and him. It's going to be very difficult to reach this level first time. Also, it generally takes a woman longer to reach an orgasm than for a man to reach his climax. And he'll almost certainly be very excited and will probably climax quite quickly. So basically, don't worry if you don't 'cum' first time, or for a while. It takes practice for couples. It'll all happen for you before long I'm sure. But don't pile on the pressure by making it a means of judging how successful your first encounter (or first few) are. You don't seem to be rushing into things. Be aware it may not all go slick, smooth and polished first time. There might indeed be a few 'awkward moments. No worries.And neither of you will exactly be brimming over with confidence. Not just yet. But I'm sure you'll find it very enjoyable and it will really form a very strong bond between you. And you'll both feel pretty special. The finer points and the 'polish' all come as you get to know each other intimately over time. Best wishes. hope that answers a few of your queries? X
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I found the following website, found at bottom of this page, while answering a very similar question for another young lady. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than your partner is at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman must always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
What I mean is boys confuse love and lust. To them love and lust have the same meaning where as for women or girls they have separate definitions. Make sure he loves you not just lusts for you.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, comfortable, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent; I believe at 16 you are s little young to be engaging in sexual intercourse. I am sure your parents have already given you this advice and it is good advice. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is general apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision review the website I have included below:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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You want to be "super mature about it" and make sure "he's the one to lose your virginity to"?
If you ask these sorts of questions, it probably means that he might not be the one - HOWEVER it depends entirely on how you feel about him and whether or not hes the right guy for you and that you can see him with your kids as a family man.
It won't be awkward if you just let it happen and get into it LIKE YOU WANT IT. Nature will take it's course.
What it will feel like, nobody can tell you exactly, but it almost always feels really great.
Will you orgasm may depend on how your female body works.
Do some more self-research on sex or take Sex Education online for free.
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First, if you are scared, then you are not ready, or he's not the right guy. And if you do decide to go through with it, you can still get pregnant if only fingering and oral sex is done is he is unclothed and any precum gets near the vagina or placed inside via fingers. So make sure you get on birth control cus guys don't usually wear condoms if doing something other than total penetration.
That said, if you are interested in learning more about sexuality, I know of a site on you tube done by a gal who started when she was a teen and is now in her 20's, all on dating, relationships, puberty, anything pertaining to sexuality, your sex organs, what you identify as, etc....many many informative videos that are short but packed with good info. I suggest you look her up and start viewing and learning.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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