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too old to have this issue
I am 38. I have two children born via c-section. I've been a dancer for 35 years, and as a result of lower extremity strength and flexibility, I've maintained an unbelievable amount of "tightness." Of course, with previous partners, I was always told I was small but sex was not impossible. Two years ago, I had a full hysterectomy, and have been too nervous to have an intimate relationship with anyone.
I finally have found someone who is amazing. He's about a foot and a half taller than I am, and, although he is not the largest of my previous partners, he is definitely NOT the smallest. We have found that penetration is impossible. Lubrication was not an issue, foreplay not an issue either. Just won't fit. We finally were able to do partial penetration, but because I was so small, he wasn't able to maintain his erection, because it actually hurt him as well.
Please help. He's nervous about hurting me, and yes, it does hurt a bit, I know that once it works, the pain will ease up a bit. I'm just at a loss on how to make it work. I feel like a virgin again, I haven't had this level of difficulty since the day I lost my virginity.
Please help. The level of sexual inadequacy is disheartening.
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There are two things I can think of to offer you in the way of suggestions.
1. Talk to your GYN. There may be something he or she can do surgically or even with something like Botox to release those muscles a bit so you can have successful intercourse.
2. This is going to sound a little strange but it can also be fun for the two of you if you want it to be; especially if surgery is not an option.
Go to an adult toy store or look some up online. Purchase some dildo's and vibrators starting with the smallest ones working up gradually to the size of your boyfriends penis. Use these to get your vaginal muscles to stretch and get use to accommodating your boyfriends penis. If you want run this suggestion by your GYN and see what he or she thinks of it.
It may take a combination of a relaxation medication injected into the muscles and my suggestion to stretch your muscles to allow for easier penetration.
If you go for my suggestion make it a lovers game part of a mutual masturbation session. He uses the vibrators on you with plenty of lubrication starting with the smallest while you masturbate him. Hopefully you both climax and have fun while stretching your muscles.
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I know of a married woman, married for the second time to a man she couldn't fit inside. They loved each other but couldn't have sex. I don't know how they managed other than mutual masturbation or something. I have no idea if there is anything doctors can do to help. Obviously, there is a size of penis that does work for you. Ask your gyn if there is a way to practicing stretching yourself out. Dont know if it's possible. If there is nothing that can be medically done to help you, and it comes down to having a sex life or not with this partner, you both need to decide if you're okay with never having sex, or looking for someone more narrow in circumferance. Since he sounds wonderful, I hope Drs can help. But you have to be willing to go to them with this issue. Its not a big deal cus they have to deal with all sorts of things regarding sex, not just pregnancies and deliveries or pap smears.
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