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Dad and I have started talking again but now I feel like I've made amistake
So recently I got in touch with my father and we didn't talk much because I'm really shy and when I meet new people and it takes awhile for me to get used to them. For christmas he gave me a really expensive gift that I was not expecting and because of it I shielded away even more because it felt kind of like he was trying to buy his way into my life and I have now not talked to him for a couple of weeks not even daring to go on facebook because of him. Today I did dare and I shared a few things and kept the tab open while I went to do other stuff. When I looked back I saw I had a message from him and it said "What, you can't talk to me now?" and now I feel horrible but I also feel he is being rather rude about it and I don't know what to do and if someone could please help me I would be forever grateful.
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I feel like i could give you more advice if I had more information like do you live close together or how long has he not been in your life, etc. it might help, but I can relate to your situation. I have a similar situation. I just recently started talking to my father on and it's a tricky situation for both of you. If he wants to be in your life, he needs to realize that it's not easy for you, maybe you're scared. He hasn't been in your life and this is new for you and you don't know how to react. You shouldn't feel upset about what he said. This can all be more developed if I know a little more information.
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I don't know all of the circumstances, but I dont think that you should feel bad about it- it's natural to feel shy around new people, especially as he is your dad! I do think that he could have been a bit nicer in his message to you... I think the best thing to do would be to message him back and explain to him that you are a really shy person and that the expensive gift overwhelmed you a bit- if he is a nice person then he should understand and hopefully things will be sorted out
I hope this helped, and I hope things get better :)
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I gather from you writing that growing up your father was not in your life. That one of you has since sought out the other and made contact. It would be normal for this to be awkward for anyone let alone someone who is basically a shy person.
So the Christmas present he bought you was expensive? Is he trying to buy his way back into your life? He is the only person that knows this answer. There are other possibilities though. Maybe he is just trying to make up for all those Christmases he missed? Maybe he can afford expensive present and this is what he does? I know I can afford expensive gifts and I get great pleasure giving them to people I love. It also could be his way of showing you how happy he is to have you back in his life.
One question; Was your father aware of your birth r was this something your mother hid from him. IF you came as a surprise to him that he had child he was not aware of my last answer may be the most correct. I know I would be very pleasantly surprised to find I had an adult child I was not aware of. OF course I would also be upset with your mom but never at you.
I suggest you write you dad and thank him for his gift. Tell him you were caught by surprise by how lavish his gift was and also a little embarrassed and did not know how to accept it given how recent the two of you have connected. Tell him you would like to get to know him better (if you want to) but it has to be at a pace you are comfortable with as you are a shy person.
You can suggest meeting for coffee or hamburgers at first to just talk and get to know each other. Meeting in public places should be more comfortable for you as they are safer. Once you get to know him better then you can move on to having dinner with him and meeting at his home or yours. I am of course assuming your are an adult and not living with your mom.
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