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Relationship advice


Question Posted Thursday January 1 2015, 7:12 pm

My boyfriend and I are both 16 and we have been dating for a few weeks now and 2 days ago was his birthday. We hungout and had a great time and now it's 2 days later and I haven't talked to him since. I've tried texting and calling him and he hasn't answered either. I'm getting really worried something is up. I've contacted his friend and he wasn't with his friend the past couple of days. I'm worried this is his way of getting rid of me or breaking up. What is your advice or opinion about the situation? Plz and thanks.

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Saturday January 3 2015, 2:18 am:
Thanks everyone for the advice. I ended up going to his house. He surprisingly answered the door and I asked if he was busy and could talk for a bit, he said he was "busy" and didn't want to talk about it and slammed the door in my face. I came home and was looking at my snapchat stories and a girl I'm friends with on snapchat had a picture of him as her story. I'm pretty positive this is the reason why he couldn't talk and just dropped me. .

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday January 2 2015, 6:15 pm:
Gummy bear listed 3 possibilities, I have another couple
4. Being it's the Holiday break period during which your concern came up, either his parents preferred/demanded he spent more focus on 'family' time or he is the type who does enjoy family time. This in a guy is natural, to have a handful of things that are important to him and he is capable of juggling all in his life through he'll have probably 3 main focus's. Family and work or school could be some. Which means, time he focus's on texting you, is going to have to find time among his other daily duties or focus's.
5. If his friend hasn't seen or heard from him, it could be that something, if not family trip/visit to relatives or perhaps him being ill and in bed, too ill to want to text or talk, just sleep, (like a bad flu) could be what keeps him from answering. Or perhaps he left the cell at home when taking off with the family for a couple days.
6. He may be one of those guys who doesn't enjoy texting. I know lots of young people do but when it comes to a relationship with a girl, some guys rely heavily on other factors to help them understand a girl cus she's quite a foreign creature to him and at times hard to understand. Some guys want to hear her voice on the phone to hear the tone of her voice to understand when she is teasing or serious for example. Some don't even feel comfortable with phone calls and prefer most their interacting with her done in person where he can also watch her body language and facial expressions to help him understand her better. You've known him only 2 weeks, not enough time perhaps to know what he is more comfortable doing in this case to keep in touch.

7. A misunderstanding? Perhaps you said or did something that he took wrong, but now is afraid to approach you about it to clear the air. Many teens don't feel sure enough about themselves let alone a possible gf/bf to actually bring up a concern and talk about it. Not saying you did anything wrong, he just may have taken it take way which would mean the problem lies with him, not with you. When you're back at school, just mention that the days he didn't respond had you concerned and ask him what was going on for him those couple days, you just might find out he was in the hosp. cus his grandpa was in emergency, had a heart attack and he's very close to him and could think of nothing else. That's natural and doesnt mean he doesnt care about you, you just weren't numer 1 on his attention list for a good reason and now you can comfort him, knowing what really happened. If something serious happened, wouldn't you want to know so you can hug him and tell him you're praying for him and the family?
8. As one person said, it could be his immature way of breaking up but not likely. It could be many other hairbrained wild possibilities your mind is capable of drumming up, like some friend at school dared him to date you for a couple of weeks even though he wasn't interested. I know, hurtful and immature but teens do crazy things at times. This also is very unlikely.

So, in the end, I hope you have realized, it is best not to worry, not to jump to conclusions like he's breaking up, and to not let your imagination run wild. Cus in the end, what we can imagine is often going to be far off target, have no truth to it and worry us all for no good reason at all. The best thing is to talk to him about it. Find out information without accusing him of anything. How about asking him first at school what He did with the remainder of his school vacation after you saw him on his birthday.
That way you may gain info that explains what happened without having to mention that you called, and got worried over no answer. If his answer doesnt provide any information, you could then say you called and got worried when he didn't respond at all for the next couple of days. If you really want to know the truth, let him know it's okay for him to share with you if he has changed his mind about dating you. Or you can go on pretending he's your boyfriend in your mind while he is continueing to ignore you and that doesnt feel any better. I would suggest letting him know you are okay with anything he has to share...cus lots of guys are afraid of how to handle a girl crying if he's no longer interested or throwing a mental fit in front of him, coming unglued and angry. He won't feel comfortable sharing the truth with you (if its bad news) if he thinks an emotional outburst is coming. I know it hurts but it won't be that you are lacking in any way, he and you just may have nothing much in common other than attraction to looks. If a guy can't be your best friend, like a girl friend, in addition to the romance between you, then it's not worth trying to force the relationship cus it will eventually fall apart on its own. This is part of life. You need to have a heart open to the risk of being hurt to be able and available to find a nice guy who cares about you enough and returns the same feelings you have for him. I hope this gives you something to think about and determined to communicate with him and find out the truth. If he does still like you very much, then you might discuss some ground rules for the relationship. Such as if he's busy and focused on something else and cant talk or doesnt want to talk right at the moment, that he at least have a pre programmed response he can send you quickly. Like for example: Cant talk now. Contact U later. Love you. Then you need to stop calling and wait to hear from him. If he ends up being the kind of guy who is the silent type and doesnt communicate much or often, it doesnt point at a lack of interest in you, it's his personality and if your the social butterfly and chatty, the two of you may be too different to make it work. Good luck!

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gummybear18 answered Friday January 2 2015, 1:40 pm:
I doubt this is his way of breaking up with you, if so, its very immatures but i also have to take in account you are both 16. So heres the three options:
1. He's ignoring you because maybe he didn't feel anything with you anymore and maybe it's his first relationship or he's not very good on breaking things off. If this is the case, then you need to go to his house if you know where he lives and confront him about it. If you don't know where he lives because it's too early in the relationship, just wait and be patient.
2. Maybe something happened to his phone. I know it would be quite some coincidence that it just happened to stop working after his birthday and maybe he has to wait to get it fixed. This also concludes with waiting it out.
3. Maybe he got a new phone and he has to switch.

All of these conclude that you need to be patient and just wait it out, don't jump to conclusions
p.s. there might be another reason but a very slim chance that it's true: maybe his parents moved him all of a sudden, very rare chance
let me know if this helped!

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adviceman49 answered Friday January 2 2015, 10:00 am:
I can only think of one thing since you didn't mention it in your writing. If you did not get him a present for his birthday then he could be upset with you. Being together for just two weeks you cannot really say the two of you are in a relationship that would require anything more than a card acknowledging his birthday.

If he did expect a present and you didn't get him one then he is probably upset at this. If you did get him a present then I am at a loss as to why he isn't contacting you. He would be a very shallow person if he started dating you just to get a birthday present then dump you.

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