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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

I'm going away on a 10 day field trip with my school to Alabama ( I live in Georgia )I'm afraid of getting homesick. I used to get homesick all the time when I was little, then I just grew out of it. Now since I'm going to be away for a long time I don't know what I'm going to do. Any tips incase I get homesick?

Most people do grow out of it and you probably have too, but it's good to be thinking this way just in case. I've been a summer camp counselor for two years and I have to help with homesickness all the time. Contact with your family, or having something to remind you of home isn't the best solution. That stuff can actually trigger homesickness. I've found that the best way to prevent it is not to put yourself in unstructured situations. Plan your day out to the minute and get excited about what you're going to be doing. Don't set aside time to relax and don't let yourself get bored. So, all in all, stay active and have as much fun as possible as often as possible. I'm sure you'll have a great time. Good luck! :)

I just saw "Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom..." It was really good. There were just a few lines at the end that I didn't catch:

CHRISTINE: Have you at last gorged yourself in your lust for blood? Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?

PHANTOM: That fate which allows me to wallow in blood has also denied me the joys of the flesh

The Phantom killed a lot of people and he's talking with Christine about why he wants her other than because she had great potential as a singer. Christine believes that now that he's had enough of kiling he's going to move on to her and force her to either be his friend or lover depending on how you want to look at it. He's had no human contact for a long time so it could go either way. The Phantom explains himself by trying to make Christine feel sorry for him. He makes it sound like it wasn't his choice to kill, that it was his destiny, and it's now not his choice to want to be with her...whether it be physically or sexually OR now that the killing is done he wants to be act as person intstead of a phantom and experience the everyday joys of life. You can take it whichever way you want. Personally I think it's a little of everything. There isn't a specific meaning to it. The beauty of poetry is that there are multiple meanings and every interpretation is different. I hope I helped and that my answer wasn't too confusing!

The guy I'm kinda seeing likes the "natural look"; no makeup, real breasts, and he prefers I don't shave because it's more natual, things like that. I'm at that point where I haven't quite snagged him as a boyfriend yet, but I'd really like to, so I'm willing to kind of change my style to make myself more attractive to him.Right now, my style would probably be labeled as "emo", and I wear alot of vintage-inspired clothing as well.

So here's my question: how can I achieve the "natural" look with my style, hair, and anything else?

I'd call myself pretty natural and my bf likes that and all so I'll basically tell you what I do. Clothing doesn't have much to do with looking natural just as long as you don't dress really "slutty" so I would say you don't have to change your wardrobe at all. I don't wear any makeup, never have, and probably never will. My suggestion would be not to wear any makeup, but if you're used to it or like it use it very minimally. A little cover up, unnoticeable lip gloss, brownish eye shadow colors and maybe a little blush would probably be just fine. Don't wear any eye liner or mascara. As for hair, don't highlight it, dye it, or style it. Length doesn't matter at all. Blow drying it is okay, but let it dry on it's own about 1/4 of the way, in other words, don't completely dry it with the blow dryer. You can do something with it, like a basic pony tail, or bun, but nothing too crazy. Just throw it up there or wear it down. It doesn't have to be a mess, but don't put too much effort into it. Now to the shaving bit. If you'd rather not I doubt he's going to break up with you over it. If it's okay with you, then sure go ahead and let it grow, but I would suggest at least keeping it somewhat trimmed. Unless, again, you'd rather not. That's something that should be up to you even though you can base your decision on what he thinks, it is your decision to make. I based my decision on my bf's thoughts, but it was what I wanted and felt comfortable with. A few last thoughts, don't get manicures or pedicures. If you want your nails painted do it yourself, stick to lighter colors, and don't let your nails grow very long. No colored contacts. NO FAKE TANS! I think that's about it. Basically all you need to do is think to yourself, what saves time and money? Good luck!

Hello, I need some help or advice. Well I'm 20 years old and I live with my parents. My entire life they have been controlling. However, recently I was engagged and moved out simply because they wanted me to and broke off the engagment and moved back home because I relized I loved someone else. Whom they hate and wont meet because he broke off the engagment. Anyways, I love him. However my parents think I'm 12 and tell me what to do, they tell me what time to be home, and yell at me when I get home after 3 in the morning. I know I live here with them however, I can't take them telling me what to do. I've told them before but they do not change. However, last night I got home around 4, and my parents were awake and said they tried callign me, but i was sleeping. I was like okay, they were like your a lier, dans a bad guy, and yoru a bad person, and saying all this negative bad thigns about me, when all I want to do is not have them controll me anymore. Anyways, my mom and dad were yelling and them my dad started hitting me I wasnt' talking back or anything, just simply because he was mad them my mom tried to stop him, then he started trying to hurt my puppy. Then they finally went to bed. I dont' know what to do. I want to move out with my boyfriend but I'm afraid they will not let me and controll me, I need to get out of here. I need to move out but then i'm afraid they will try to take my car away, or try to hurt my boyfriend or me? Help I don't know what to do or where to go for help I feel lost, and confuesed and controlled I need to be free. Help Please!

I found myself in the exact same situation last year. I have one word for you: LEAVE! That's what I did and I'm so much happier. I'm living with my soon to be fiance, I haven't seen my parents for at least three months and I couldn't be happier. Be prepared to get a lot of crap from your family and be prepared to miss them a little, but it really is worth all of it. Once you are 21, you are completely independent from your parents anyways. Even though you are considered an adult at age 18, your parents are supposed to support you financially until you are 21. You shouldn't have to put up with their garbage. They can't do anything to you if you leave and they won't. The big plus in your situation is that you have a car...I don't have that luxury, so it's a little harder for me. Not having a car is one of the only things that I've had a hard time with. The bottom line is, you need to do what makes you happy, and you certainly don't seem too happy in your current situation, so leave! Nothing can keep you there. Be strong, stand up for what you believe, and you'll be very surprised how many people will support you and offer to help you out. Good luck!!!

Does anyone take my advice seriously. Some people think that 13 year olds arent mature, but I have been known to think and act like an adult.
--curious caden--

I always take everybody's advice seriously, unless of course it's not meant to be taken seriously. Some thirteen year olds, like you :), have been through a lot and can give very honest, very good advice. Not everybody has that talent, there's some 40 year olds I know that are just plain horrible at giving advice, but I listen to them anyways because I believe that everyone's opinion matters and I may get something out of it even if I don't take their advice. Not everyone will always follow your advice, but knowing that you care and hearing your input will affect them.

Im really really scared about getting my perdiod i have no idea when its comming like no idea. Im scared one of my friends will find out or i will be the last one. My crush is in like all my classes. And the nurse had pads and tampons and stuff but Im scared when im gon aget it

You don't bleed that much when you get your period. No one will notice at all! You'll notice it when you go to the bathroom so right after that you just go to the nurse. Don't worry at all, seriously, no one will know. Good luck :)

I'm 16/f.

Well I'm not anorexic or anything but once in a while I get these weeks where I'm not hungry at all and almost anything I look at makes me gag. All my friends are worried though they know that I go through this like five times a year. I usually eat a lot but during these times I only find an appetite for fruit usually. My friends are telling me to tell my counselor at school but I don't want to tell more people about this because I really don't want anyone else to bug me about it. I just think this is a phase or cycle that just comes and goes but I need more opinions. Please tell me what you think.

That happens to me sometimes too, but it can't be very good for you. I don't think you need to talk to a counselor about it or anything, but when it does happen, just make sure you're getting enough to eat. Don't force yourself to eat, but do eat something :)

I have a sloppy disk in wich i keep info on people i wanna get to know better. Congrats. your one of them. What is/are your...

Fave
Bands/singers
TV show
Movie
Food
Hobbies
dreams
the number of family members

That's so sweet!

Bands/singers: The Goo Goo Dolls, Billy Joel, Something Corporate, Matchbox 20, Bon Jovi, Queen, Sara Evans

TV show: Family Guy, Law and Order SVU, Survivor, Conan O'Brien, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, Fresh Prince

Movie: Sin City, Taking Lives, Rain Man, Star Wars, Aladdin, The Matrix, Mrs. Doubtfire, Uncle Buck, Conpiracy Theory, Guess Who?, The Ring

Food: Spaghetti, Eggplant Parmesan, Cheese

Hobbies: Origami, Volunteer work, Advicenators, sports, reading

Dreams: to become a teacher, to own a house with a decent amount of land, to have a few kids, to marry my sweetie :)

number of family members: Mom, Dad, and one sister, so 4

sorry I don't give out my last name :(

If you know what you are talking about please answer. I do not want some 13 year old who has no idea about this subject answering for ratings. I will not rate you if try anyway. Please no chatspeak and &hearts as well. Thank you.

I need some advice on frying. When I try to fry whatever food, it comes out greasy and not crispy. Either it is overdone, or it is underdone. It doesn't matter if it is a chicken, homemade french fries, potatoes, you name it I screw it up somehow. I have been trying for a long time, I just can't seem to figure out how to get it right. I use Olive Oil, Canola Oil, any regular frying oil. I try to keep the oil and about 350 degrees and I don't add too much food to the oil to lower the temp drastically. I do not know if it my technique or if it is the oil I am using. Any advice or tips would help greatly.

It sounds like you may be using too much grease, but that may not be the case. Try putting the food on a paper towel after you take it off the pan. The food isn't going to stay crispy forever, try not to let it sit for very long before you eat it. If you already do all of that or it's still not working, try using a brand new frying pan. When pans get worn out they tend not to work as well. Good luck! :)

I gave my boyfriend a handjob, and i'm afraid I wasn't that good. He did ejaculate until after. Why is that? Does anyone have any good advice/ tricks on what feels good and will make then ejaculate while you are doing it? Thanks alot

Your best bet is to ask the guy. Every guy likes different things and if you have him show you what to do or something you'll be a lot better at it. Good luck!

My face is so ugly ! but i think its because i have ACNE on my fore-head ! I really wish it would go away, but i dont no how it can. I try using acne treatment and stuff but it doesnt work ! soo.. i was wondering if anyone noes any ways on how to get rid of my acne??

RATE HIGHHHH!!
x3val

Well, if you've tried practically everything, or maybe even if you haven't, I think that you should go to see a dermatologist. A dermatologist is a skin doctor and specializes in this kind of stuff. I went to one last year and he gave me perscription acne medication that works like nobody's business! If my face is completely covered in acne and i put this stuff on, the next day my acne is almost completely gone. It's worth a try :)

Good luck!

Okay, I know this might seem weird, but it makes sense to me.

Everyone in my family is doing extremely well with their financial needs. We all live pretty comfortably. But, every family has suffered to get where they are.

And I mean EVERY single family.

My aunt from my mom's side, and her family started getting rich about 15 years ago. Once they started racking in all the money, she was diagnosed with kidney cancer. She might not live for another year.

My Uncle from my mom's side always owned his own auto repair business and has always been making an above average salary. But, a few months ago he decided to open another shop across town, since his original one was doing so good. Well, for the past 6 months he's been in the hospital getting treatment for his blood cancer.

On my dad's side, my uncle also opened his own business and has been making good money. His wife and him now can't have any more children. The past 4 times she's been pregnant, she's had a miscarriage.

The list certainly goes on.

It seems that every time something happens to someone in my family, it's after they start making more money.

Well, my dad owns a law firm and he just closed a 15 million dollar case. We were all excited until a few days ago when he ended up in the hospital. My dad never gets sick and hasn't been to the doctor in over 20 years. But about a week after the closed his case, it started. We first thought it was the flu so we didn't worry. But one night he woke up with a sharp pain in his side (or stomach I'm not sure) and we had to rush him to the hospital. They told us if we waited even 30 more mins. he would have been dead. His gallbladder would have exploded.

Now I don't know what to believe because it all seems so crazy. But it makes sense. It's gotten me so scared that I don't want to make much money when I get older. I know it sounds weird but what do you guys think of this?

Well, if you think about it, when people start to settle down financially and start to make more money, they're getting a little older and going through a little more stress at the time. That's about the time that health problems start kicking in. I can see why you're scared, but it's the way that your family is talking about these unlucky events. Your family is linking unrelated things and making conclusions based on no evidence. If you hadn't ever heard of a "family curse" you wouldn't be worried at all. You'd just know that sometimes people get sick. A "curse" isn't something that should be taken seriously, it's like a joke to lighten a situation. If you get cancer when you're 40 you'll get it whether you have a lot of money or not, health problems aren't something you can avoid and they generally happen unexpectedly. You'll be fine, don't jeopordize your future because of superstitions. I hope your dad gets better soon and good luck!

Me: bye baby io lkove you
Her: later
Me: ...?
Her: bye?
Me: i said i love yiou
Her): you too
Me: :-\

Is this girl still into me? Is she giving up on me or what?
I need to know because my heart can't take it anymore

I think you're overreacting and probably scaring her. Just calm down and relax. She still likes you. Sometimes saying "I love you" becomes so routine that you can forget to say it. I've done it before. It's OKAY. Don't take things to such extremes or you may drive her away. It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong to me, at all. You don't even have to talk to her about it, just let it slide. If you make a big deal about it you'll probably upset her when she was never upset in the first place. It was just a misunderstanding and people make mistakes. It really is okay. Closer your eyes, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that she loves you and that nothing is wrong because she does and there isn't!

I am a dark, pessimistic, negative person. I feel totaly hopeless and that both the good and evil forces are against me. I try to be the positive, outgoing type, but that realy isnt me. Im realy pained inside with doubt and hiddin secrets. I have a crush on someone and today I was thinking about the girl, the way she acts when I flirt with her, the way she is so outgiong. Those happy, warming feelings turned cold. I have been doubtful about myself, I feel like I cant start a close relationship, not even a close friendship. Its more than that, but it would take forever to explain things. I feel weak and helpless. Can you help me?
--Caden--

Well Caden, you seem like a really great guy to me. I think what's happening to you is that you're trying to be what you think you're supposed to be instead of who you really are. You see all these people around you and you want to be just like them because you see their happiness and you want that too. I've been in your situation before and, yeah, it's really painful. You feel like you just aren't good enough. You can't be like those other people so you believe that you can't ever be completely happy. What you need to do is find out what makes YOU happy, not what makes PEOPLE happy. The truth is that being in a close relationship with someone is one of the best ways to learn about and start being your true self. You'll have someone to talk to and share all your doubts, fears, and feelings with. You'll have someone to love that will love you back. Friendship is a kind of love and sometimes it can be a lot more rewarding than what two people in an intimate relationship can share. Maybe this girl isn't the one for you, but I think that maybe she can help you. You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you to discover who you really are and to find that special someone who will light up your life from the day you meet them. I never thought I could be so happy as I am right now and I can see myself being even happier a few years into the future. I didn't find myself until I was 18. Being sensitive and emotional is not the same as being weak and helpless. I believe that you are a very strong, good person that just needs a little pick-me-up. Out of all of this, there's one thing that I want you to rememeber...your day will come. Maybe it's not today or tomorrow or next week, but it will come, don't ever doubt that it will. For some people, high school is their "day". Sad for them, it'll soon be over. I'm predicting that for you, your day will come later in life. Yeah, you have to wait and sometimes it's hard to get through all those days and all that pain that you feel, but when your time does come, it'll be so amazing that you'll be completely overwhelmed. One day you'll say to yourself "this is as happy as a person can possibly be" and the next day you'll be even happier. I'm not making any of this up. I'm talking from experience, I've been where you are before and I know now that it's not forever. Feel better, you're not alone. What you're feeling is very normal for someone your age, believe it or not. This time in your life can be very confusing, but I know you'll do just fine. Good luck!

Okay I am a bit scared right now. I have been having sex I am on the patch and when having a sex my boyfriend always uses a condom. Well He is in college and he only comes back on weekends. The weekend (last weekend) he came back was also week 4 (my period week) from the patch. So I decided to skip over to another patch instead of taking the week off. So it was week 1 again. Well, the next week I took the patch off, this is what would have been week 2 but I changed it to the off week so I could still have my period, I decided one day after my patch change day to do this (patch change day= wednesday, day I changed it= thursday)It is now sunday and I still have not had my period. Could I be pregnant, or is it just that I was not supposed to have it yet or something else? Pleas help me!!

That was kind of confusing, but what I got from it was that you used a patch earlier than you should have. What the patch does is mess with hormone levels in your body. If you pump too many hormones into yourself than it messes with your cycle. The thing about birth control is that you should use it exactly as you're supposed to. If you don't it increases your chances of getting pregnant. I doubt that you're pregnant and you'll get your period soon enough. I wouldn't worry about it for now, you could have just missed one. If you don't get it the next time you're supposed to then get a pregnancy test, but for now it's nothing you need to worry about at all. Good luck!

ok i play basket ball and i have a game in a couple of days and i am on my period and i wear a white jersery with whight shorts and i am scrared that ill leak and it will show up all on my shhorts so how do let it dont leak out

You'll be fine. Just wear what you normally wear. If you don't leak at basketball practice, you won't during a game. I know white can be scary, I used to play basketball too, but you'll get used to it and won't be nervous anymore. Not that much blood comes out when you have your period and leaks usually occur when you're sitting in the same position for awhile, which you definitely won't be! You'll be fine, don't do anything different and good luck with your game!

When December comes, it will be 2 years since my first period..however, my flow isn't even...like I get it every 2-3 months...It's unexpected..I don't know what to do because I don't want to tell my mom to take me to a gynocologist...however I don't want to have a fertility problem when I'm older. I don't know what to do..should I just wait a couple more months to see if it straightens out or should I take action now?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. What is happening to you is perfectly normal. It is very rare that women who first get their periods are regular. Mine sure wasn't for at least 4 years. There's nothing you need to do or change. If you want, you can go on birth control pills, which should make your period more regular, but that would require seeing a doctor and what not. Hope I helped!

I'm going to be 17 soon..and I've never had a boyfriend..I've never been kissed...This is really embaressing for me to write..All my friends have had boyfriends..even the not-so-pretty ones..I'm sad..at dances, no one dances with me..I feel so sad because everyone has one now...What should I do?? I'm afraid one day someone is going to confront me about my prude-ness...gossshh this is so sad for a 17 year old..help :(

You're not prude, just unlucky. I didn't have my first boyfriend/kiss/anything until I was 18 and a half. Nobody ever even asked me out. I used to think there was something wrong with me too. Now I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy and I've realized that there's nothing wrong with me after all. Your time will come, don't worry.

"Women are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easily picked up. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

is it weird to ask your boyfriend whether you turn him on?? he's quite a good boy and we never discuss anything like that.. however, i'm really curious as to whether he finds me desirable at all. is this a weird thing to just ask out of the blue?

It's not a weird question to ask at all. If it makes him feel uncomfortable you shouldn't have a full blown conversation about it, but it is a good thing to know. There's no harm in asking. However, I think that you should reword the question to something other than "turn on". Maybe try "are you physically attracted to me". I know that sounds pretty dumb, but if you ask it like that it's a little lighter and there's less of a chance of him getting uncomfortable. I hope I helped and good luck!

ok ....so ill be like rubbing myself down there and ill get really really wet and then ill have to stop because its like i cant explain but it feels good but weird and then when i try to rub myself again i cant because it hurts i would have to wait for like 2 mins...is this an orgasam??if not then is it normal and what is it?

yes :)

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