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I am a dark, pessimistic, negative person. I feel totaly hopeless and that both the good and evil forces are against me. I try to be the positive, outgoing type, but that realy isnt me. Im realy pained inside with doubt and hiddin secrets. I have a crush on someone and today I was thinking about the girl, the way she acts when I flirt with her, the way she is so outgiong. Those happy, warming feelings turned cold. I have been doubtful about myself, I feel like I cant start a close relationship, not even a close friendship. Its more than that, but it would take forever to explain things. I feel weak and helpless. Can you help me?
--Caden--
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
you need to let out your secrets to a trusted adult and have more self confidence, if you keep thinking that you are weak and helpless and will never start a relationship then thats what you are going to be.start by thinking I AM NOT helpless or desperate and little by little you will change.you only live once so try your best to make today the best day and always bear in mind that tommorow is a better day.have hope in life.good luck and i hope youll change.
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wow i know much of this feeling. cause i myself am quite pessimistic. you honestly can be pessimistic and still have a gf/bf its not hard. you just have to honestly believe deep down in your heart on your feelings. its not the end of the world if some one turns you down it just means you try harder for someone else.
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Yeah Tried it dosn't work... It sucks... not being able to realy be outgoing feeling weak. im not exactly helping but I know how you feel
morbid
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In order for me to help you with this, I'm gonna need to know PART of your past life, if you don't mind. I was just like you, and I think I'm good at helping out with this stuff. Maybe if you've been neglected, and abused or whatever, that's why you feel hopeless. I was like that too, and now I'm a little better, but still feel the same...you'll get over it, I PROMISE. If you listen to depressing music, then stop. That also has an effect on your feelings. Watch romantic, funny, active movies...to help you along with that crush of yours. Get ideas from those movies and like....try it! You never know what will happen until you try. (god I sound like a mom! lol.) Fantasies work pretty good too. I'm a hopeless, pathetic romantic, but everything is ok. Not the best, but better. Think of things that will make you happy. Like if you are wiht your crush. How does she make you feel? How do you act around her? Try to analyse (spelling?) and like...figure it out. It might take some time, but it's all good. I promise things will get better. Oh yeah....and if you do drugs, or drink or whatever...that probably has to something to do with it. I was drinking andsmoking pot, and then I quit... and I feel GREAT. I just hope you won't do anything stupid. If you wanna talk about this some other time...my AIM sn is xXxGreenDayxXx29......GOOD LUCK
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Sounds like you have low-self esteem. Does your mom know about this? You might just need to take some pills or something to help you. Im sure your a great, and loving person! And if u relize how you are then you have a strong enough will to change what you don't like about yourself. I would just think before you do anything and think what you say. Anyways! jUST dont doubt yourself. DOnt feel bad that it takes awhile to build up a relationship and a friendship cuz those things take time. Exspeacially a relationship
trixxie
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Well Caden, you seem like a really great guy to me. I think what's happening to you is that you're trying to be what you think you're supposed to be instead of who you really are. You see all these people around you and you want to be just like them because you see their happiness and you want that too. I've been in your situation before and, yeah, it's really painful. You feel like you just aren't good enough. You can't be like those other people so you believe that you can't ever be completely happy. What you need to do is find out what makes YOU happy, not what makes PEOPLE happy. The truth is that being in a close relationship with someone is one of the best ways to learn about and start being your true self. You'll have someone to talk to and share all your doubts, fears, and feelings with. You'll have someone to love that will love you back. Friendship is a kind of love and sometimes it can be a lot more rewarding than what two people in an intimate relationship can share. Maybe this girl isn't the one for you, but I think that maybe she can help you. You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you to discover who you really are and to find that special someone who will light up your life from the day you meet them. I never thought I could be so happy as I am right now and I can see myself being even happier a few years into the future. I didn't find myself until I was 18. Being sensitive and emotional is not the same as being weak and helpless. I believe that you are a very strong, good person that just needs a little pick-me-up. Out of all of this, there's one thing that I want you to rememeber...your day will come. Maybe it's not today or tomorrow or next week, but it will come, don't ever doubt that it will. For some people, high school is their "day". Sad for them, it'll soon be over. I'm predicting that for you, your day will come later in life. Yeah, you have to wait and sometimes it's hard to get through all those days and all that pain that you feel, but when your time does come, it'll be so amazing that you'll be completely overwhelmed. One day you'll say to yourself "this is as happy as a person can possibly be" and the next day you'll be even happier. I'm not making any of this up. I'm talking from experience, I've been where you are before and I know now that it's not forever. Feel better, you're not alone. What you're feeling is very normal for someone your age, believe it or not. This time in your life can be very confusing, but I know you'll do just fine. Good luck! <3
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hey there! i feel exactly the same way sometimes. but you should ask yourself, "for what reason am I doubting myself?" YOU know what your strengths and talents are, YOU know that you can work up to your personal potential, but why do you still doubt yourself, you know? Only you know how good you are and the weaknesses you may have, and your own power to fix them. The best thing is to look at yourself from both sides, find the things in your personality that you appreciate, and the others which you find less valuable, and begin to accept it because those two sides of yourself make up the person you are, and the definition of yourself is from these two things. Next, when you find something you don't like, change it. Remember, if there is something in your life that you don't appreciate, it's entirely up to you to change it. And if comparing yourself to others, stop it because comparing yourself will completely mar your own unique image and we need to live our own lives, not the lives of others. So you should always take the time to remember your strengths and stop underestimating yourself for the person you are. You should remember that you have the ability to get the things that you want in life. If you need anything else, you can hit me up in the inbox, and if you want to talk, you can aim me on: FLiPiNaYgRlz. Take care always...
<3, normie
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You sound soo like me in high school. I didn't start feeling human until I was put on prozac. Seems that an inherited chemical imbalance was a big part of my problem. Not all of it of course, you can only blame so much on genetics. Seretonin is the chemical in my head that gets used up or recyled before it gets where it needs to go. Some things you can do in your diet that can help. Eat more turkey and pasta, donlt drink anythig with nutrasweet. These little things will help some, but if you can get a doctor to help. Luck to you!
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Only you can help yourself.
God I sound like Dr.Phill.
As I say
Think of the future. Don't dwell in the present.
But yeah. I kind of feel for you on this one.
But only you can make yourself outgoing. And only you can make yourself feel "happy"
Stay strong.
--Social Suicide
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Caden, don't be so low on yourself. You are not hopeless one bit. If you aren't the outgoing type, don't make yourself be that way. Be yourself. That's the most important thing. Do whatever makes you happy not what will make other people happy. When you thought about your crush, why did your feelings change? Do you think you're not good enough for her? If you do, you're wrong. She would be lucky to have someone really nice, sweet and handsome like you. You can do anything you want to and if you really put your mind to it and try, you will be succesful at it. Don't doubt yourself. I'm sure you're good at plenty of things! You can defenetly start a close friendship and relationship. It won't be over night, but it might take time. Sometimes people have these days where they feel low and not good enough. I mean, once you think about it, look how much better you have it then most people. Some people have nothing. No family, friends, a home, food or anything. Think about it. Life is too short to be upset. Live it to the fullest! You're a really great person and you can make a difference. Show some confidence Caden! I know you have it in you. :D ♥ Feel better!
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