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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Months ago, I met this girl named Jessica, we had 2 classes together in college and we were getting along well, one day she told me she is bisexual and I told her I'm straight but told me that she thought I was cute. When she was drunk she told me that she likes me. She also asked me if I wanted to kiss her after couple weeks of getting to know each other, but I said no because I did not think of her like that, but I only told her that I thought she was cute. She told me that her ex girlfriend cheated on her by making out with another guy when she was drunk. Jessica was really heartbroken and I guess that is the reason why she came off really strong to me in couple of weeks. I didn't like the way she approach me because she was too forward for me, since I'm more of a shy type. Time goes by we started hold hands,cuddle and later on we started to make out couple of times. I guess you can call it as we were friends with benefits. It was really fun and I liked it because of the thrill and we were playing with each other, but she told me that we cannot do that much when she was fixing up the relationship with her ex girlfriend. We still fooled around when her ex girlfriend came to the bay for Christmas and for New years. She told me she did not want to kiss two people at once but she couldn't help but she kissed me couple of times. I told her she should't get back with her ex girlfriend because I don't want her to get hurt like how she got hurt before, one day she picked me up from work and said" I'm waiting for my ex girlfriend to ask me out" and she kissed me. I don't know what she meant by that when she did that. Couple of weeks later they got back together and Jessica said "If you were bisexual and actually liked me, we would have went out" Now that she is back with her long distance girlfriend she does not talk to me as much and I do not talk to her as much. She would always text me everyday but now sometimes she doesn't text me for a week and text me saying"How come you never text me first?" and whenever she has a problem with her current girlfriend I'm there to listen or call her on the phone. It seems like I'm the one who is chasing her now. The question is.
1.) Do I have a chance? or I was just a rebound from the beginning?
2.) Did I hurt her feelings by playing with her at first?
3.) Am I starting to like her or just trying to get her back because I lost her.Because I'm not sure if I'm bisexual yet.
4.)Did she do a right thing by getting back with her ex girlfriend even though she hurt her by cheating on her?
5.)Was it really just a friends with benefits or she wanted to be more?
6.)Any opinion will be great, because I'm definitely confused...
The Answer
1.) It's judgemental and unfair to label her behaviour as 'rebounding'. You might be right, but it's not kind. And people you respect and care about deserve better.
You turned her down, but she told you that if you hadn't, she would have like to pursue a romance with you.
The respectful thing to do would be to take her word for it. That if you hadn't rejected her, she would have gone out with you happily.
2.) Yes, of course you hurt her feelings. You utterly rejected her repeatedly, than fooled around with her willingly but apparently never admitted to her that you didn't want to loose her or what you had. That's hurtful and not very honest or upfront of you.
Right now, she is probably asking herself if you were just a selfish straight girl who was using her for a bit of fun, playing around with her feelings and jerking her around for your own amusement.
3.) And it sounds like you probably are doing just that. I don't know what is in your heart, but whether you are bisexual or not, it sounds to me like you want her cause you can't have her. You miss the attention. You might be bisexual, but your motivations here are still not pure.
4.) Only she gets to decide if getting back together with her ex was the right thing for her or not.
5.) It seems to me that she was pretty clear from the get go that she was interested in more than just FWB with you.
6.) You need to relax, and be a respectful friend if you can be. Having a friend you text only once or twice a week, and speak to about that much or less, is very normal for a friendship. You need to stop expecting her to give you the same attention she did before she was in a relationship. You need to understand that what you were offering (a bit of fooling around with a straight girl) was never going to be good enough for her for very long. She had to move on. So do you. Figuring out your own confusion and sexuality is something you don’t need her help with.
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The Question
I know that a student teacher relationship is illegal, but i dont get why? Can someone explain this to me...if their is a like five year difference whats the big deal? and then if he is a student teacher, is it still illegal?
The Answer
It's not always illegal. Depending on the state laws, and the ages of those involved, sometimes it's not a legal issue, merely a professional and ethical one.
It's wrong for the same reason doctors and therapists aren't allowed to have romantic relationships with their patients. It's unprofessional for someone in a position of authority, trust or dependency, to use that position, or information or intimacy established in that position, to pursue a romantic relationship.
That gives them a power over the other person which is not okay. That is why many states have laws that say, the age of consent is 16, but if it's a teacher, coach, babysitter or camp counselor (or similar positions) then the younger person must be 18 or 21. Basically, the Age of Consent is higher in these cases.
But of course, there are also the rules of the person who pays your salary. High School Teachers are always fired if they date a student. Even at University there are often rules against dating students. There can be huge consequences professionally, even if you aren't fired, for breaking these rules.
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The Question
Well hey everyone!(:
This is going to happen tomorrow night! So please answer(:
So my really good guy friend said he wanted to have sex with me. He's been flirting a lot lately and has asked a lot. I'm 14 and he's 15 but we have been friends forever! He said cause its a new year I should do something new?! So I agreed and all cause he's nice and stuff and like we've been friends for a while and idk if he's gonna get mad if I say no or something. He also wouldn't stop asking. I'm just worried I won't know what to do cause I'm a virgin and he's not. He said not to use a condom. So can I get pregnant? I don't think I want a baby! That'd be bad. I don't think I can get pregnant because I have two weeks until my period and I heard its the worst time to get pregnant or something. I am also really petite so I don't think I would be able to like have the baby. He also said because its my first time I can't get pregnant. Will I bleed? I don't want to cause I'm scared of blood! Will it hurt during and after? Please answer(: Any other tips/advice/help would be great! I don't know lots about this haha! Thanks!
Thank yaa all(: Please answer(: Don't be rude!
The Answer
Don't sleep with him.
He is a bully and an idiot. He is not a friend.
If you have sex without a condom you might get pregnant - and neither of you can deal with that. You CAN get pregnant your first time. You CAN get pregant at any point during your cycle. Neither of you have enough information to have sex yet..
If you say no and he doesn't want to be your friend anymore, then he was never really your friend anyways - he just thought you'd put out.
If you say no and he won't quit asking, that's harassment and you need to tell an adult.
Do not do this. It's a horrible idea. If you must, at least use a condom.
No one can tell you for sure if it will hurt or if you'll bleed. Every woman's body is different. But for most, the pain is bearable and there is only a little bit of blood.
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The Question
I'm 47 and recently divorced. Started seeing a guy and told him straight up I wanted total honesty no matter what and wasn't interested in sexual buddy relationship. He's been cold then hot for 3 months. Found out he's been seeing someone else also. Why lie? He seems to be mad at me now for finding out,why? He won't come right out and say he doesn't want to see me anymore. Before finding out he would say he likes me a lot but he was scared. What's going on with him?
The Answer
He's just not that into you.
End it. He might honestly have liked you, and been scarred, but he didn't like you enough and he doesn't want to be with you.
Don't sit around waiting for him to make it right. That's just a waste of your time. Walk away now and stop worrying so much about 'why' - you'll never really, 100%, know what was going through his mind.
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The Question
I'm a 17-year-old guy who's been with the same girl(now 18) for a couple years. One day I walked in on her attempting suicide, and we got help. She was away for a few weeks at a mental health hospital for her depression, and while she was there, what I had seen that day was eating away at me. As a way of coping, I starting smoking pot.
Then, when she got out, she found out what I had been doing and told me I had to stop because it was "unhealthy", and she has always been 100% anti-drug.
This Wednesday she left to spend a week with her friend who lives in another state, and her friend's boyfriend smokes a lot of pot. She hasn't been answering any of my calls, or texting me back at all.
Tonight, when I called her to talk to her, she answered, stoned out of her mind and couldn't keep a thought for more than two seconds(yes, I counted), which tells me she smoked a LOT of weed. This is after for "health" reasons she made me quit, and now she goes behind my back and spends a week out of state with two people I've never met, and has probably been smoking all week.
What should I do? How should I confront her?
Thanks,
Anonymous
The Answer
It's understandable to be upset, but don't over-react.
You are both young. You are both going to change your mind about things. You are both going to try on different ideas and some might work, and some won't.
So sure, be angry, but also be the bigger person and not a petty, demanding person - like she was. Having a go at her might feel good, but it only helps to kill love and respect between two people.
Talk to her about her opinions, about whether she's changed her mind and if she's okay. Share your honest opinions with her on the subject, and listen t her.
She didn't 'make' you do anything. You gave in. You decided to just give in, rather than to stand up for your own opinions and beliefs about how to live your life.
That was your mistake, and sure, she's made mistakes too, but the solution is starting to talk honestly and with respect, not to confront or to punish her.
You both made choices. Talk about your choices and learn how to talk about them in more honest ways. This isn't your opportunity to get one up on her, it's your opportunity to grow together.
And you have to grow together, or it won't last for a couple more years.
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The Question
Soo i am 16years old and i have a boyfriend and he doesnt want people to know that im going out with him and he said it is becuase he does not like people knowing who he is going out with and i dont know if that is the real resean but i dont know how to ask him or know if it ia really true ?What can i do ?
The Answer
It might be true, but it's immature and not okay.
You should insist on being open with your friends and family. Some people might not be comfortable with posting thier relationship online, or declaring it to strangers, and that can be fair, but a real, mature relationship cannot happen in 'secret'.
If he can't accept that, don't be in a relationship with him. He's not ready for an mature and honest relationship until he is ready to be open open about with others.
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The Question
im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m
We've been together for nearly a year, and we love each other alot. i honestly think hes my soulmate and we can both picture our future together perfectly... except now im not so sure anymore.
im a very very insecure person. i lost my virginity to him and only him and he had several gf's and fwb in the past.
Hes still best friends with one of his old FWB and im not gonna lie, im worried about it.
i told him my concerns and he understood and everything... but now i cant sleep because i was thinking about something he said.
he told me that he still thinks about having sex with her and other girls. Even though he said he would never actually do it, i think its bad enough he even thinks about other girls that way.
maybe im just crazy because im traditional and the thought of having sex with anyone else but my partner just doesnt cross my mind. i only want to have sex with him.
yet now im losing sleep because i cant help but think about 'am i not good enough' 'maybe im not the one for him' 'maybe he should still be single' because he thinks about having sex with other girls.
and i honestly dont know what to do or say or how to bring it up (should i bring it up at all)
Is there something wrong with me and i should just accept that he thinks of other women? even though i think if you truly love someone you would only think of sex with them.
i seriously have not wanted anyone else sexually so why cant he be the same?
i just dont know what to do.
The Answer
You're being a bit crazy. This level of insecurity based on only his thoughts, is over kill.
It's not wrong or evil, it's understandable to be upset, but you don't get to police your partners thoughts. They get to fantasize about being a superhero, or a movie star, or yes, even about having sex with other people.
What you should accept is that every person in your life that you care about has thoughts that would make you uncomfortable if you knew about them. Your family, your best friends, your teachers - all of them have had thoughts or fantasies that would keep you up at night if you knew about them. You probably have thoughts, opinions or fantasies that would disturb them as well! Having thoughts, opinions and fantasies that we never share or act on, is a common thing for human beings. We have very active and creative brains. When we are perfectly honest with ourselves, very, very few of us are even close to 'pure'.
Why isn't he the same as you? Because he isn't. Because no one will ever feel and think exactly the same as you on every subject.
None of that means that this guy is the right guy for you. He might not be. Maybe you need someone who does think the same as you on this specific issue, or someone who at least wont tell you about private thoughts they suspect will make you uncomfortable.
He might not be the right guy for you. It's okay to make that decision, but your criteria of 'must never have sexual thoughts of other women' is extreme, judgmental and will likely lead you to your own unhappiness. You are allowed to have it, but you are more likely to find happiness and a mutually respectful relationship when you judge people primarily on their actions, not on their thoughts or fantasies.
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The Question
Hi so my name is Bailey I'm 13 and a female. So yesterday my boyfriend who is 15 we made out after school and dry humped eachother and were being all sexy with eachother and we almost went back to his placse to have sex and my little sister saw us making out and dry humping. (she's 11) So she has a boyfriend too but he's 12 and the other day her boyfriend came up to me and said " I want to fuck u im just dating ur little sister for you. Kiss me and bite. Fuck me and it'll be a delight'" So i got all freaked out and was about to go tell my little siste r when he grabbed my boob and squeeezed it (im a size C) and told me not to tell and he was joking. I told my sis but she didn't believe me. (I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK THIS KID IS A 12 YEAR OLD BASTARD) I slapped him when he came over to my house for my sister ( he claimed) the next day. After he started makking out with me and I couldn't help it. Then 1 hour later my boyfrind came and the 12 year oold told him to 'back off and that i was his' They got into a fight a 12 year old and 15 year old while my little sis and I watched and hoped my Mom wouldn't be home anytime soon. She was still mad t me though for thinking I was making stuff up about her and her boyfriend. How do I get my sister to believe me and break up with the bastard? Also how do I get that bastard to stop squeezin my boobs and trying to fuck me? HELLLLPPP i love my boyfriend and dont want hm to be mad cause i told him this story and he is trying to protect me. Also i forgot to add that tody my sis's bf told me to meet him at his house tomorrow at 10 for some "fun" (he lives 3 houses away) ANY ADVICE??? Thanks
The Answer
Tell your parents.
This little boy has sexually assaulted you. This isn't a thing for you and your boyfriend and sister to figure out, this is something you need to tell your parents about, and make sure they get onside protecting their daughters from this violent and abusive little boy.
Obviously, do not go to house. Do not allow yourself to be alone in a room with him. He assaulted you. He behaved criminally. Make an adult in your life understand what happened and help to protect you.
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The Question
Iv'e been best friends for 8+ years with my flatmate we got that comfortable with each other over that period that we ended up intimate for the past 6 years. It was like a secret relationship as we didn't want anyone to judge us as we are both guys. Since the day we met he has always been very 'touchy feely' with me rather than just talking to me(that's how we ended up together), he would act really camp and was always very hands on. I know that's how he likes to communicate with me about gay stuff as he's more comfortable that way than if he talks about it(in which case he would go very quiet or stutter along until saving himself by using his hands) I noticed during this time he started getting very forgetful about the stuff we were doing, especially the stuff he initiated or said regarding us or anything gay. I asked him about it and he said he's just got a bad memory, period but his memory losses are very selective to this gay subject. Now this went on until 6 months ago when after an argument he shouted at me that he was 100% straight and that I was the 'gay one' as he put it. He also told me that he was and had been seeing a girl for the past 7 months and had also sleep with girls before that also. He went on to say that he didn't want to be with me he wanted her and didn't mind losing anybody or thing around him including me. Now don't get me wrong this break up type news hurt but was copeable as we are both physically attracted to girls we just seemed to have an amazing connection with each other that brought us really really close but the fact he didn't mind cutting me out of his life completely smashed me up inside. After many hours of trying to get him to talk he admitted going with this girl was wrong and that he shouldn't have done stuff behind my back. He didn't want to do gay stuff anymore which was fine by me, I just wanted to save the friendship as did he. Now for the past 6 months his selective memory and gay denial type behaviour has gotten worse, we have been rebuilding the friendship but he has still been doing gay stuff with me and not remembering or saying it was my fault. I have even been telling him no when he tries but he gets so selfish to do what he wants that he just disregards what I'm saying and does whatever he wants us to do. I've spoke to friends for advice about what to do but things are going nowhere, he's currently staying with his mum while (as he says) tries to work out if he's gay or not but he's making no effort to sort things out and just seems to be shrinking my down in his head to help him think he's 100% straight, as he thinks because the physical attraction isn't there with guys then he's straight. I want to help him find himself as I understand first hand what denial can do, yes him and I have made mistakes but I love him to bits and would do anything for him I just want my friend back but his denial is making him hate me and that in turn is killing me and what's left of our friendship.
Any advice would be great as I can't get him to understand what he's doing to us.
The Answer
First off: Move out. Break the lease. Kick him out. End, forever, the room mate relationship with him. Do NOT welcome him back into your home.
Since you can't manage to say no to sexual activity with this abusive homophobic fool - and I'm sorry, I understand he is your friend and not a horrible human being but he also is an abusive homophobic fool. If he is truly bullying you into sex, it's possible that he is even worse than that.
Maybe your friendship can survive, but it CANNOT survive you living with him, occasionally having sexual contact with him behind his girlfriends back, and then him emotionally abusing you with his selective memory.
The current arrangement will lead to the death of all respect and friendship between you two.
So, no more roommate arrangement, because you need to be safe and respected in your own home, and he has proven beyond any doubt that he cannot do that.
And finally, accept you cannot help him.
He doesn't want your help. He doesn't understand what he is doing do you. He doesn't understand he has abused you. I'm not even sure your realize the nature of his victimization of you.
Right now, you need to put your safety and mental health first. He is on his own path, and if you had the power to change that, you would have managed it by now. But you never had that power.
Be a friend a friend if you want. Keep giving him messages of acceptance and arguing down his homophobia. But also keep yourself at a safe distance from him physically, and make a safe haven of a home for yourself.
You deserve more from a friend and a lover than he has ever been able to give, and you need to demand more, from someone else.
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The Question
Before I ask the question, I am 17 and the girl is 15. I met this girl the other day, and we hit it off immediately. All of our interests are the same, and we have identical senses of humor.
We were hanging out today watching a movie, when she suddenly hugged me, nuzzled her head in my chest, and then looked up at me. She said, "please don't push me off," lied down with her head in my lap, and fell asleep.
Or so I thought, but I think she might have been pretending. I put my hand on her upper back, because anywhere else could have been inappropriate, and then she rolled over so my hand was on her chest, and started gently and playfully nibbling my thigh while she was "asleep" and when I muttered something, she physically responded by biting a bit harder.
So, what do you think this means? Does it mean she likes me; does it mean she's trying to rush into something probably too fast; does it mean she's just the weird girl that I hit it off with so well and she's just already that comfortable that she fell asleep on me?
The Answer
Does she like you? Probably. Does she have poor judgement and a willingness to immediately sexualize a relationship with someone she meet only hours earlier? Absolutely.
What she did wasn't so much about being 'comfortable with you', as it was about clumsily trying to seduce you and making herself sexually available to you.
She is trying to rush into sexualizing your friendship - very fast. Sounds like it was a bit too fast for you.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, but a fifteen year old girl basically just behaved the way you'd expect a drunk twenty-four year old in the back of a cheap limo to behave. She was not asleep. She was clumsily and obviously tying to seduce you. If a guy had behaved the way she did to a girl, the world would call it sexual assault. She crossed some serious lines.
So, you like her, but are wierded out by her behaviour? Good. You should be wierded out by her behaviour. If you are smart and respectful and NOT just trying to bang a fifteen year old, then this should make you uncomfortable. She has shown that she might have very different interests and values. If you want to have a friendship with her, next time you hang out, set some physical boundaries that you are comfortable with and let her know, tell her straight up, that she doesn’t have to be so sexualized to get your attention and that you aren’t comfortable rushing into that kind of relationship.
If she just wants someone to want to fuck her, and make her feel good about herself, she'll walk away the moment you express an interest in a actual relationship. If she just made a poor judgement call getting so physical with you so fast, it might be the start to something awesome.
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The Question
My girlfriend bought me a watch for my birthday and told me it was really expensive. I am really into watches and I do like the watch itself.
However she eventually told me it was limited edition and it was worth £800. I've recently found out that the watch is actually only worth £250.
Should I be upset about this? I know its the thought that counts and I'm still chuffed about her buying me this watch but why has she lied to me?
The Answer
A simple suggestion: She might not have known.
Of course, you'd be the better judge of this, but it's very possible that she, not being as into watches as you are, had her ignorance taken advantage of and didn't do enough price comparision.
It does happen. It's one of the risks we take when we buy someone a gift in thier area of interest and expertise, but not our own.
If she lied to you, then yes, it's understable to be upset, and you need to have an honest conversation about why she felt lying was necessary (Have you bought her over the top gifts and she felt embaressed she couldn't keep up finacially? I've had boyfriends do this and can be hard to handle if you have much less money than your partner to spend on gifts) but unless you know for certain what she spent, it might be worth it to give her the benifit of the doubt.
Maybe in the future - even though it would ruin the surprise - you could give her a bit more guidance in what you want, where to get it, and how much it should cost.
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The Question
Hi I'm 18 years old and I have a little sister who's 10 years old. I found her fingering herself on the bed on her bed but when I look at her fingers they were covered in cum!.
I have 2 question.
Is she going to be pregnant and how do I stop her fingering herself.
PLEASE HELP NOW!!!!!
The Answer
She's not going to get pregnant. A woman can only become pregnant if the semen from a male enters her vagina.
Many children, boys and girls, discover masturbation when they are little, and have never been exposed to the idea that there is anything wrong with it.
The best thing you could do for your sister would be calm the hell down. She hasn't done anything wrong or evil. She needs to be told not to do that in public, that it is a private thing and something that will upset people.
She shouldn't be shamed or made embarrassed. She only needs to know that this is a private thing, like taking a bath. Unless she is showing signs of having sexual activities with other people, there is nothing wrong with her.
And you need to realize your sister is growing up. She's going to start to want a bit of privacy, and you need to learn to knock.
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The Question
17/f. I have been straightening my hair for about 3 or so years but lately I've been straightening it every 3 or 4 days with occasional touch ups to my bangs, I have trampoline thick wavy hair and the only way it looks nice, is if it's straightened but I can't help but notice the gross smell of burnt I always have in my hair! Even when I get out of the shower, and I've just washed it, the back lower layers seem to smell the worst! How do I get the smell out? & I don't want a temporary fix like perfume, I really wanna get it out asap! I know one of the things guys love most is nice smelling hair! Help if you can :)
The Answer
Every real, long-term soltuion is going to take time and money.
First off: Turn the heat setting on your straightener down.
Don't give into the temptation of turning it on the very highest setting to get it done as fast as possible. Turn it down to 3/4 full or so and do less hair at a time if necessary.
Also, let your hair dry naturally before you straighten it. If the underside at the back smells worst, it could be because you are trying to straighen it while it's still wet.
Buy a heat protection product to use on your hair before you straighten it. Serums are generally better than sprays, but also more expensive.
Finally: Go get your hair cut and get some professional advice. Those ends on the underside probably can't be saved. They are just too damaged. Chop the dead and damaged stuff off, and ask for your hairstylists help in selecting the right products for your hair.
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The Question
f/20
hiya, my boyfriend and i have been together just over 4 months and for the first time a few days ago we had meaningful sex. i love him to bit and he loves me. Thing is a about a week ago i had my fortune told and yes i do believe in it. the fortune said that in the near future im going to have a baby boy and he wont make a fool out of me. yesterday and today my boyfriend had his hand on my stomach stroking it...it felt comfy like it brought joy to someone..... could i be with child?
The Answer
If you had unprotected sex and/or your boyfriend's semen entered your vagina, it is possible you are pregnant.
Most pregnancy tests are not reliable until a week after you've missed your period, so you'll need to wait to be certain.
In the meantime, you should really talk to your boyfriend. You haven't been together too long, but if you are having sex, you should talk about how you both feel about a possible pregnancy.
If you want to avoid pregnancy, use protection.
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The Question
Well i went to the doctor and got test for a std. the test results came back in and it was positive for Chlmydia. When i ask my girlfriend about it she said she had nothing and went to the doctor. however, i do not know if she went to the doctor because we dont sty in the same area and she said her status came back negative. all i can do is go off what she said. Adjacent to, i had sex with my girlfriend while she was heavy on her period and shortly after i started having irregularities. the first time i went to the doctor he said i had nothing and gave me some pills. so a time came again i had sex with my gf on her period when it was heavy again. then again the feeling came back. Could i have caught chlmydia from her that way? are is she having sex with someone else? i love her and want to believe her but i dont want to be with a cheater!!!
The Answer
If you don't believe your girlfriend that she went to a doctor and it came back negative, then you need to dump her, right now.
She might be innocent, but that doesn't actually matter.
If YOU can't have faith in her, then your relationship is over, regardless of where you actually contracted Chlamydia.
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The Question
Is it slutty to send pictures of you in your underwear and bra to guys? I'm not fully naked so it has to be classy, right? What do guys think of girls who send them pictures? And is it cheating if the guy is in a relationship but I'm sending him pictures still?
The Answer
Is it slutty to send pictures of you in your underwear and bra to guys?
I also don't like to label things 'slutty' but it is an unwise and foolish thing to do. Not only might it get the young man into legal trouble, he could share these photos with anyone he likes. Once those photos are out there, they are out there, in the world, forever. You can never take them back, and you can't always control who gets a hold of them.
I'm not fully naked so it has to be classy, right?
No. Being 'classy' means a lot more than just ‘not fully naked’. Being classy is about being of high quality, worthy of respect, exclusive and elegant.
Sending some teenage boy pics of you in your panties that you took by yourself, is definitely not elegant, not worth of respect, and not the actions of someone who believes they are of high quality or that they are an exclusive and superior person. It is definitely not a classy thing to do.
What do guys think of girls who send them pictures?
Some of them feel lucky. Some of them feel disgusted. Some of them will just find it funny.
Every guy might feel differently about. There is no one way that all guys will respond.
And is it cheating if the guy is in a relationship but I'm sending him pictures still?
Even if it’s not cheating, it’s still helping him to betray his girlfriend. ‘Because she doesn’t know what he is up too, and if she did, she’d be legitimately upset. It is still betrayal and still wrong.
It’s also definitely not classy. It crass, immature, rude and vulgar to help someone betray their partner.
It’s particularly unwise to think that a guy who would betray his partner in this way, wouldn’t also betray you someday, by maybe sharing your photos with all his friends and having a good laugh about it.
Stop sending him photos. It’s a bad idea.
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The Question
hey there. i'm 21/f and I feel like it's time to move out. I have come here several times to vent and get advice about how to deal with my family. they are extremely overprotective and have no respect for my privacy or my school work. I am in college and studying to be a kindergarten teacher. It's a very time consuming major, as most education majors would know. grant you, we don't have as many exams and things like that, but there are a lot of projects and things like that. At my house, people really have no respect for my school work.
My mom doesn't have a job. I'm not really sure what the deal is or if she even wants one. But, we live with my grandparents and she spends the majority of the day helping my grandmother with housework. I was working a lot. To the point that it was interfering with school and I felt myself getting really depressed because I really hated the job. I am now held back an entire semester because of all the stress. It feels like living at home is another job. When I get home, I don't relax. I don't have my own room. Everyone is always in there watching television, and messing up my things. I am not even exaggerating. I took pictures to show my therapist the messes that they have made in "my" area. I don't have a desk in my room. I've brought it to their attention several times. But, nothing gets done. They're just like: "go to the back room." There's no table in the house for me to sit in and just do my homework. There's always people over.
If I were to just go to school and focus on that, and not work, then I could finish the majority of my work in the library without a problem. But, the library closes and I'm working, then I really can't go to the library because the hours interfere with one another. Anyway, I hated my job and my boss was very abusive and got in trouble and I'd just rather find another job down the road. But, if I do start working, I'm going to need the dorm. Because, there's no way I can work and live at home. There's no place to do my work, there's no respect for my privacy. People walk into the bathroom while I'm in the bathroom, They have taken my clothes and put them in a huge pile of a mess. My mom and I argue all the time because she wants me to use my money towards getting fake nails, hair extensions, and a fake tan. It's just so much tension. So much tension. The other day, my phone was lost. Someone found it and I guess they called her because she's saved under Mom and that's the person they decided to call. She picked it up and spent the day reading through my text messages. There is no concept of privacy. It just doesn't exist. When I get home from work/school, it's like 9pm, and I feel more stress and more tension than I did at school/work. School is the most fun thing out of the three.
So, I thought the best solution would just be to get a dorm. I can find a job that I would like if I want to, after I get into the rhythm of the semester. But, I could actually do well in school, focus on what I have to do, and not argue. I just need the privacy more than anything.
But, here is the problem: I would need to take out a loan. So far, I haven't needed any loans. I have a full scholarship. So, I'm scared to take out the loan. I wouldn't have to pay it back until 6 months after graduation. That's the only thing holding me back. That, and that I'm scared. I guess it's normal. But, that's why I'm here. To get advice.
So, to dorm or not to dorm? I can't afford an apartment because I would need to pay 3 months in advance and they don't offer loans for that. So, that's not an option. Thank you.
The Answer
Take out the loan and move into a dorm.
There is good debt, and bad debt.
Going into debt to buy clothes or trips to New York - that is bad debt. Going into debt to invest in your academic success and mental health, that is very good debt. Going into debt is necessary in this world right now to achieve many things you might want in life. It’s not the ‘wrong’ thing to do in many cases.
Going into debt for the first time is legitimately frightening. I’m 26 and managed to graduate from university with very little debt, and some of my friends did as well. Some of them had to take some loans part way through school, and others had their first experience of ‘debt’ after we graduated. I think each and every one of us flipped out the first time we had to borrow money for tuition, or a car to get to and from work, or to buy a house. We all just flipped out a little at the idea.
It’s not a bad thing to find it a little scary, but it certainly sounds like the right thing to do.
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The Question
I have the opportunity to sleep with a guy, but there are a couple things that Should keep me away from him (he's married and my boss) but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons not to go through with it. What are the pros and cons of doing so?
The Answer
Cons.
He's married.
He's your boss.
It's grossly irresponsible and immoral.
You are very likely to feel like crap about it in the future.
It might ruin your professional life, and could impact your personal life in traumatic ways.
A married guy who would sleep with his employee is fundamentally a person whose judgement is seriously questionable. Assuming that your married boss will sleep with you and then treat you well, is like assuming if that if you just let the crazed cannibal gnaw your arm a little he wont try to kill you in your sleep (ie, it's stupid to expect such a man who would treat his wife and employee in such a way, will treat you with respect and kindness in the future).
Pros.
None.
Nodda.
Not a damn single pro.
"Getting Laid" isn't a pro that requires your boss. It requires shaving your legs and and walking into the right bar in a short skirt, or hiring someone.
If you need to get laid that badly, and are willing to do something stupid and possibly harmful, go hire some crackhead off the corner. In the end, it would probably have less negative impacts on your life than fucking your married boss.
If you can form a sentence, you probably didn't need strangers to tell you that this was a dumb ass idea.
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The Question
This girl I like told me that shes not interested in me, and she has done this several times. But she keeps acting like she does and says things all the time that make me think she does.
She says she loves me but shes not in love" with me. She told me that for my birthday coming up "I got you something special that your average female friend wouldn't get you if you know what I mean." and when we were talking on the phone I overheard her sister saying "you really have an obsession with him (my name) dont you?"
Then last night we stayed up talking and I told her I was upset, and she asked what I was upset about, and I said "nevermind it doesnt matter anyway" and she responded with "you do this to yourself."
I dont understand. She flirts with me all the time and says she always wants to spend time with me but in the end she says shes not interested in me. Why would someone do all that if they didnt like you? Its been like this for years.
The Answer
After years of this, she's right: You are doing this to yourself.
She IS a tease. She keeps you on a short leash for her own pleasure. She's been pretty honest about this.
As long as you keep giving her the attention she desires, she'll keep flirting and suggesting there is more to it than friendship. This is what your friendship is in her mind.
You can either choose to be friends with this attention-seeking flirt, or you can decide that being her friend makes you miserable and move on with your life.
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The Question
What should I do to try to get him less controlive and jealous?
The Answer
Dump him.
If he is not getting the message that he is too controlling and that he must stop it, then end his control by ending the relationship.
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