|
14 and First Time Sex? Please Help?(:
Well hey everyone!(:
This is going to happen tomorrow night! So please answer(:
So my really good guy friend said he wanted to have sex with me. He's been flirting a lot lately and has asked a lot. I'm 14 and he's 15 but we have been friends forever! He said cause its a new year I should do something new?! So I agreed and all cause he's nice and stuff and like we've been friends for a while and idk if he's gonna get mad if I say no or something. He also wouldn't stop asking. I'm just worried I won't know what to do cause I'm a virgin and he's not. He said not to use a condom. So can I get pregnant? I don't think I want a baby! That'd be bad. I don't think I can get pregnant because I have two weeks until my period and I heard its the worst time to get pregnant or something. I am also really petite so I don't think I would be able to like have the baby. He also said because its my first time I can't get pregnant. Will I bleed? I don't want to cause I'm scared of blood! Will it hurt during and after? Please answer(: Any other tips/advice/help would be great! I don't know lots about this haha! Thanks!
Thank yaa all(: Please answer(: Don't be rude!<3
--Isabelle<3
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
I know this is a little outdated, but I just wanted to share some knowledge with you about sex and the common myths. Now, I have no problem with sex (although I think if you're under 17, you should wait) but you should at least know the facts. EVERYTHING I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD SPREAD TO YOUR FRIENDS AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHO IS YOUR AGE.
1. Sex while on your period is safe.
FALSE - you can get pregnant at ANY TIME.
2. The withdrawal, or "pull out", method is safe.
FALSE - Pre ejaculation, or "pre cum", can happen at ANY point during sex and the guy normally doesn't even feel it. If he tells you that you can't get pregnant using the pull-out method, HE'S LYING.
3. You can't get pregnant at any time.
FALSE - you can get pregnant at anytime, even if you're on your period. See number 1.
4. A girl can't get pregant the first time having sex
FALSE - A girl's chances of getting pregnant are the same EVERY SINGLE TIME of having sex. Don't let anyone tell you different.
5. FACT - If you have a "regluar" period (a period that cycles every 28 days), you ovulate 14 days in, in other words 2 WEEKS, which is the BEST TIME TO GET PREGNANT!
6. Douching, showering, urinating or bathing after sex can prevent pregnancy.
FALSE - these are not effective uses of birth control. USE A CONDOM. ALWAYS.
7. Using Saran Wrap or a balloon as a condom and/or using vaseline as a lubricant are safe.
FALSE - If you don't have condoms, don't have sex. Simple as that. If you use vaseline as a lubricant, there's a higher risk of the condom breaking. Use a lubricant on the market that's scientifically safe to use.
8. You can't get pregnant if you jump up and down after.
FALSE - Whoever came up with this is an idiot, end of story.
9. If you have sex standing up or if the girl is on top, you won't get pregnant.
FALSE - See number 8.
Look, I know this is tedious and I don't care what you rate me. You deserve to know the facts, and so does every other 14 year old girl. Boys your age, and older until they're actually mature, will ALWAYS make up lies to take advantage of a vulnerable and innocent girl like you.
There have been cases of girls having babies as young as 9 years old and even though you think you're petite and can't have a baby, think again. Think wisely. Whether it be and STI, STD or get pregnant, it can happen to ANYONE, even you. YOU'RE NOT THE EXCEPTION.
Please take this advice seriously and be thankful all these other people were nice enough to take the time to answer your question because they were concerned. We don't care if you give us 1's, 2's or 3's, WE CARE THAT YOU ARE SAFE, and that's it.
Hope I helped.
And remember, help others by spreading this advice.
]
Hey. Sup? I first had sex when I was 15 and my boyfriend was 14. So, I know where you're coming from. And since you say it's going to happen anyways, I won't try to talk you out of it. And since everyone else exhausted every argument out there to get you to think otherwise, I won't bother. So, instead, I'm gonna tell you what you SHOULD do, rather than what you SHOULDN'T do.
If you're going to have sex, use protection. You can get pregnant on your first time, and just because you're small and it's not the best time of month doesn't mean you're safe. And as you said, you don't want a baby.
My first time when I did it was unprotected. That was bad. Even though I didn't end up getting pregnant, I got so worried that maybe I was that I actually got physically sick. It was terrifying. And completely not worth it. It's better to just be safe, because even though it's not quite as awesome for the guy at the time of sex, in the end, it's so much better for your own sanity. Trust me.
And you might bleed. That's just how it goes. But if you do, it likely won't be a lot. I didn't bleed, but some of my friends did. And whether or not you feel pain is about how your body is. Again, I didn't hurt. But some of my friends did.
Tips? Have fun. Don't worry. Be smart. And please, use protection. Being a mama wouldn't be any fun. Plus, babies mean no more sex for a while. And who wants that? Haha
-Erin (female/18)
]
I can tell from the ratings you have given others that you don't want to hear that you should not have sex with this guy.
Most of us don't care about ratings, we care more with telling the truth and the fact is this guy and most teenage boys all want the same thing; SEX
Teenage boys are hard wired from puberty to find sexual relief. Because of that they confuse lust and love. They will tell any girl anything she needs to hear if they think they can get her to sleep with him. The sex itself for you will be horrible. Why? Simple 14 year old boys have no idea about anything except getting relief.
Worse, teenage boys can't keep a secret. Once you have sex with a boy you may as well take an ad in the local paper. For he is going to tell his best friend who will tell someone else. Before you know it you will have a reputation around school as being easy. You'll be popular but for all the wrong reasons. If you don't give the others sex then you'll get another reputation as a tease. Both of these reputations are hard to live down and harder to to live with.
This is the truth. How do I know this. Well as hard as it is for kids to understand. We parents were once kids ourselves and nothing has changed since we were your age. Why do you think you dad is as strict as he may be with you about dating? Mainly because he remembers what he was like and he doesn't want any teenage boy being like that with his daughter.
At 14 you are way to young for full sexual intercourse. Try petting and maybe a handjob. Even handjobs are something that should be waited a few years for.
]
This guy is pushing for sex, he doesn't really mind if its you or another girl, just as long as you're willing enough to go along with his goal. He has no interest in you at all.
Yes, you could get pregnant, you could also get an STD as well, which could make you infertile. You could get emotionally hurt by him too, believing that because you've had sex together, he loves you. If he loved you, he'd wait until it was right for both of you to have sex, not bully you into it.
I think you already know what kind of answers you're likely to get. I'm not being rude, but this guy is controlled by his hormones. In 10 years he might have grown up enough to appreciate sex within a loving relationship, as it should be. Until then, I'd give him a very wide berth.
Hope this helps, let me know how. you get? Take care of yourself and good luck
]
Don't sleep with him.
He is a bully and an idiot. He is not a friend.
If you have sex without a condom you might get pregnant - and neither of you can deal with that. You CAN get pregnant your first time. You CAN get pregant at any point during your cycle. Neither of you have enough information to have sex yet..
If you say no and he doesn't want to be your friend anymore, then he was never really your friend anyways - he just thought you'd put out.
If you say no and he won't quit asking, that's harassment and you need to tell an adult.
Do not do this. It's a horrible idea. If you must, at least use a condom.
No one can tell you for sure if it will hurt or if you'll bleed. Every woman's body is different. But for most, the pain is bearable and there is only a little bit of blood.
]
Sweetie, don't let this guy convince you to do something you will regret later. Your too young, and you could get pregnant even if is your first time. Your first time should be with someone you really care about, not just some "friend" who your afraid to say no to. He sounds like a real jerk and you need to get rid of him ASAP. Your still very, very young and have many years ahead of you and will do many things you regret. Please, please, please, please, please don't make this one of them. Tell this guy to get lost. If you need anything else message me any time.
xoxo,
dottie4
]
I say to say no.
He's clearly pressuring you.
And you're 14!
You've probably heard this a million times and will probably ignore it but, your first time should be special with someone you really want it to be with.
You'll most likely regret this if you do it.
You can get pregnant on your first time, he's chatting shit.
Also yes, this would be your most fertile time (when you can most easily get pregnant.)
On most people first time, they tend to get a bit of spotting afterwards.
For most, or some people their first time does hurt, during and after. For some people every time hurts a bit actually. Especially since you are petite - probably as you aren't even fully grown.
You seem to know very little, like you've said.
I really think you should think this through as I don't think you want to go through with it at all.
I hope this has helped, and I apologize if some parts are a little upfront and rude.
]
I am just going to be blunt
From what you've written you are nowhere near being ready to have sex. Were you seriously thinking of having sex with the guy without a condom?!...YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A BABY. It isn't about wanting one, It's about being able to properly care for one. Babies require medical attention, food, diapers, clothes and a proper living environment. You do not work a full time job, You do not drive, live on your own and to put it short you do not classify as being independent. You still live under your parents roof. These are some things you will need to raise a child the proper way.
Any guy that tries to talk you into not using a condom is a guy that thinks inside his pants and not with his head. Stop letting the guy influence you and for once use your head.
You said:
I don't think I can get pregnant because I have two weeks until my period and I heard its the worst time to get pregnant or something.
You can get pregnant AT ANY TIME, Just because you have another two weeks until you get your period does not mean it is impossible to become pregnant. I highly advise you to not do it, Also this is something to think about if a guy gets mad because you refuse sex then wouldn't that tell you right there that it was all he cared about in the first place? The guy is a loser and he is trying to use you. Don't let yourself be pressured!
Again bluntly: I'm actually pretty surprised on how little you seem to even know about sex. I'm not trying to bash you but you really should read up on pregnancy. If he told you that you can't get pregnant on your first time of having sex then sweetie the guy is obviously either A. very uneducated or B. Trying really hard to manipulate you. These things are not true, Pregnancy can happen anytime. Stay away from this jerk he
EDIT: I really don't care what you decide to rate me. I am not going to sit here and tell someone that has NO education on sex/pregnancy that they should go and do it anyway. If you choose to fall into his little game of manipulation then sorry to tell you.....Your IQ is not only extremely low but you are gullible as gullible gets.
]
More Questions: |