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Am I a rebound?
Months ago, I met this girl named Jessica, we had 2 classes together in college and we were getting along well, one day she told me she is bisexual and I told her I'm straight but told me that she thought I was cute. When she was drunk she told me that she likes me. She also asked me if I wanted to kiss her after couple weeks of getting to know each other, but I said no because I did not think of her like that, but I only told her that I thought she was cute. She told me that her ex girlfriend cheated on her by making out with another guy when she was drunk. Jessica was really heartbroken and I guess that is the reason why she came off really strong to me in couple of weeks. I didn't like the way she approach me because she was too forward for me, since I'm more of a shy type. Time goes by we started hold hands,cuddle and later on we started to make out couple of times. I guess you can call it as we were friends with benefits. It was really fun and I liked it because of the thrill and we were playing with each other, but she told me that we cannot do that much when she was fixing up the relationship with her ex girlfriend. We still fooled around when her ex girlfriend came to the bay for Christmas and for New years. She told me she did not want to kiss two people at once but she couldn't help but she kissed me couple of times. I told her she should't get back with her ex girlfriend because I don't want her to get hurt like how she got hurt before, one day she picked me up from work and said" I'm waiting for my ex girlfriend to ask me out" and she kissed me. I don't know what she meant by that when she did that. Couple of weeks later they got back together and Jessica said "If you were bisexual and actually liked me, we would have went out" Now that she is back with her long distance girlfriend she does not talk to me as much and I do not talk to her as much. She would always text me everyday but now sometimes she doesn't text me for a week and text me saying"How come you never text me first?" and whenever she has a problem with her current girlfriend I'm there to listen or call her on the phone. It seems like I'm the one who is chasing her now. The question is.
1.) Do I have a chance? or I was just a rebound from the beginning?
2.) Did I hurt her feelings by playing with her at first?
3.) Am I starting to like her or just trying to get her back because I lost her.Because I'm not sure if I'm bisexual yet.
4.)Did she do a right thing by getting back with her ex girlfriend even though she hurt her by cheating on her?
5.)Was it really just a friends with benefits or she wanted to be more?
6.)Any opinion will be great, because I'm definitely confused...
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1.) It's judgemental and unfair to label her behaviour as 'rebounding'. You might be right, but it's not kind. And people you respect and care about deserve better.
You turned her down, but she told you that if you hadn't, she would have like to pursue a romance with you.
The respectful thing to do would be to take her word for it. That if you hadn't rejected her, she would have gone out with you happily.
2.) Yes, of course you hurt her feelings. You utterly rejected her repeatedly, than fooled around with her willingly but apparently never admitted to her that you didn't want to loose her or what you had. That's hurtful and not very honest or upfront of you.
Right now, she is probably asking herself if you were just a selfish straight girl who was using her for a bit of fun, playing around with her feelings and jerking her around for your own amusement.
3.) And it sounds like you probably are doing just that. I don't know what is in your heart, but whether you are bisexual or not, it sounds to me like you want her cause you can't have her. You miss the attention. You might be bisexual, but your motivations here are still not pure.
4.) Only she gets to decide if getting back together with her ex was the right thing for her or not.
5.) It seems to me that she was pretty clear from the get go that she was interested in more than just FWB with you.
6.) You need to relax, and be a respectful friend if you can be. Having a friend you text only once or twice a week, and speak to about that much or less, is very normal for a friendship. You need to stop expecting her to give you the same attention she did before she was in a relationship. You need to understand that what you were offering (a bit of fooling around with a straight girl) was never going to be good enough for her for very long. She had to move on. So do you. Figuring out your own confusion and sexuality is something you don’t need her help with.
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You are basically a rebound just as you said, The girl clearly isn't over her ex.
Technically from the sound of it you are the doormat she can wipe her feet on whenever she pleases. As long as you allow yourself to be a doormat she will continue to take advantage of you. Just to put it out there, People who are drunk don't think with a sober head and not that you would go as far as having sex but someone being drunk cannot legally consent to sex. From what you've posted she basically used you and took advantage of the friendship.
Are you starting to like her?..I really can't tell you how you feel but I would probably say I think you like the idea of having someone to fool around with not so much her in general.
My advice I would try and find someone who isn't still hung up on someone else, Find a real girl
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