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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I have to write another essay after I turned one in American Diversity and now I one one any event in Àmerican History. I have always hated it when they let us pick a topic because it's so hard for me to choose. It has to be at least 2 pages due in 2so weeks. If you were writing the essay what would you write it on and where would you start?

The Women's suffrage movement would also be good. One problem is that in one sense it is still going on. Women have come a long way since they got the right to vote but they still have to work harder and are paid less then me. There is still the glass ceiling for women to contend with. I think any paper you did on Women's suffrage would have to include that the movement is still not complete. I think it would be very hard to come to a conclusion on just how this has changed America since it is still ongoing.

There are just so many to chose from even for someone like me who loves American History I am hard pressed to pick just on topic.

The things that have happened that have changed the course of this country are just so many. There is the Great Depression, the two world wars, the Korean and Vietnam conflicts. The use of the Atom Bomb to end WWII. All of this in just one Century. Then there are all of the inventions that have changed the course of this country. The Mechanical revolution, going from the horse and buggy to the automobile to the railroad to the airplane and how these have changed.

Then you also have some great Presidents to chose for to write about. There was Roosevelt and the New Deal, Truman and the Atom Bomb, Nixon and Vietnam his resignation. Ronald Reagan and his mark on history.

If I had to chose just one I would probably have to flip a coin to decide between the two great wars and the great depression.

Good luck.

Hello I'm a 13 year old that came for fifth time but I've whacked off ten times mor than that. Now that I'm starting to produce cum I have an orgasm five minutes into masterbation and cum thirty seconds after my orgasm. It isn't fully white yet and it doesn't shoot out yet because I haven't fully matured yet. But the problem is I used to not cum at all but now I cum too fast. I used to reach orgasms and release pre-cum but no real cum and stop in frustration. I want to last a long time and still cum but even if I jerk day after day it comes out too fast. Please help.

Relax your normal. It is all hormonal at this point. You are going through puberty as your body adjusts and matures things will change. Right now you are super horny because of the changing hormones . Masturbating 3 or 4 times a day would be normal doing so more than that is not normal. Meaning if all you want to do is masturbate to the exclusion of everything else.

Your testicles (your nuts, balls)are where the cum comes from. This is actually sperm. The hormones now being secreted by puberty are waking your testicles up telling them to start producing sperm. In order to ejaculate (cum) the sperm need a fluid to carry them up you urethra and through your penis. This is the fluid or white stuff your looking for. IT is also part of the pre cum that acts as a lubricant and also has sperm in it.

From what you are writing I would say you are in the early stages of puberty. Things will change as you mature. One thing though is the more you masturbate each day the less time your testicles have to make more sperm and produce the white stuff your looking for. Try to keep your masturbation to three of four times a day at most. Less if possible. If nothing improves in 4 to six months then you may need to have a talk with dad or mom.

I am from India. I am having a question that what is actually shiva house

Shiva is the week-long mourning period in Judaism for first-degree relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, and spouse. The mourners usually sit on wooden benches and friends and other relatives come to visit during this period of morning.

All mirrors in the house are covered and friends, neighbors and relatives usually will bring food into the house during this period as the mourners are expected to do nothing but mourn the loss. Each evening prayers are said for the lost relative.

Hi,im going on a 1 month hike.Gonna be walking 20-40km per day.Im vegan (high carb low fat mostly raw food) and i dont know what food to bring.My backpack cant be more than 10kg and im gonna take a lot of nuts and some dried fruit and energy bars but other than that i dont know and if anyone has some ideas id appreciate it a lot.Thanks

There is no way anyone can carry enough food for one month plus the other things they need in a 20 pound pack. I would think you are going on an organized hike in which case my suggestion is that you contact the outfitter who will be staging food at the rest areas and overnight camping areas.

Advise the outfitter or organizer of your dietary needs and see what they can do to accommodate you. There is not enough protein in what you are planning to carry to get you through a hike of the length you will be hiking each day. You will need to take in many more calories than normal to make up for what you expend.

Generally the food supplied by the outfitter is a light meal at midday, so as not weigh and a heavy down and make you sluggish. Then a campfire meal at night to make up for what was expended during the day and prepare for the next day. Since you are a Vegan they will have to pack in different food for you. If they are unwilling to do so for you then I suggest you forgo this adventure until you find an outfitter who will accommodate your dietary needs.

name sleeping pills for sucide

Sleeping pills are a prescription medication. Even if your doctor was to write you a prescription; current distribution laws only allow for 14 days worth of medication or less. Not enough to kill yourself but more than enough to cause you great pain.

Suicide is not an answer it s the wrong solution that settles nothing. You leave behind people who do love you with long term hurt wondering why you did it. We are her to help you find real solutions to real problems no mater how large you may think they are. No matter how insurmountable you may feel they may be. There are solutions for every problem.

IF you won't talk to us talk to these people at the National Suicide Hotline. They can help you. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.

I am suppose to write an essay for school and the topic is laws that have changed since 1873 that have made America diverse today and I dont know where to begin with writing it. It has to be 3 paragraphs. I wanted to add something that has affected my life with diversity and I was wanting to know if my mom marring my stepdad who is black when she is white be a good example of today's diversity be a good example of diversity today. Also any other tips for my essay would be helpful.

Your example is an excellent one. In 1873 there were laws against interracial marriage. In some states they could have been hung for doing so.

What I would suggest is you take you example and work back from there. You could start by saying something like. "Today diversity is such that it is normal to have interracial marriages much like my mom and step dads marriage. Then go from there researching back how and when the laws changed and the penalties for interracial marriage back to 1873.

For the ending of your essay you might consider something like. "Prior to the civil war interracial children were not the results of interracial marriage but the result of sex between the slave owner and his female slaves." "There are descendants of our first President who are of interracial origin."

Good luck I'm sure you find enough information for more than 3 paragraphs.

Hey guys and girls its me again.
I have a question.
So my mom has a guy friend now that has 5 kids and a wife 4 girls plus the mom and he says that he wants me to talk to him when I feel down and he also said that I can call him anything that I want so does that mean that he wants to be a father figure for me and try and take care of me like one of his own kids.

It could very possibly be just that. It could also be something very nefarious as well. Talk to your mother and see what she thinks.

Dear readers i need help!!! I'v been masterbating sence i was eight years old and now im 12 and still javent gotten my period will i ever??? Was i masterbating to much and caused a effect on myself so i wont get it??? Im worryed i wont ever get it ...plz help asap thnx.

You have not gotten your period yet because you have not entered puberty yet. Puberty can start as early as 10 years old which is too early and as late as 15 or 16 in which case you are considered a late bloomer. My sister didn't start puberty until well after her 15th birthday.

Now you can start puberty earlier than 15 but not have all of the affects of puberty. This was my sister. Her body started to change around 12 years old, Her breasts grew in between 13 and 14. The rest of puberty did not take affect until after her 15th birthday.

Being 12 years old and not having your period is not anything to be concerned with. Each of our bodies has its own schedule when it comes to puberty. The fact that you masturbate says the parts of puberty have already started for you would not have the urge to do so if puberty hand not started.

Masturbation does not affect puberty or your periods. Its only purpose is to relief sexual tension and bring pleasure.

I don't know how to tell my dad about my period

Sweetheart you period is a natural part of you. While it is not a natural part of a man's life as teenage boys we become very knowledgeable of girls periods as we go through puberty. It is a natural part of life and we learn more about it when we marry your mothers as it becomes something we learn to live with.

What I am saying is your father is more knowledgeable about a woman's period than you may think. He knows there will come a day when his little girl will start to grow into a woman. Absent your mother he needs to be prepared to help her take care of herself properly.

Now he may be waiting to talk to you himself or he may be waiting until you tell him your periods have arrived and has a female member of the family an Aunt, grandmother or cousin waiting to help you.

There is nothing here to be embarrassed about. It is not different than when you needed to be fitted for a bra. Dad I'm sure did the right thing then and he will do the right thing for you now.

I would suggest that the best way to tell him is the straight forward way. Just tell him your periods have started or that you now need to purchase feminine sanitary products and need money for them. Whichever way is more comfortable for you.

If you have questions that need answering dad may have a woman waiting in the wings to talk to or he can arrange for you to speak to a gynecologist who will answer your questions. If dad elects to take you to a gynecologist you might ask him to find a female as I think you will be more comfortable talking with a female doctor.

One other word of advice; while we are here and will answer any question you put to us to the best of our knowledge. If you have any problem concerning your reproductive system or urinary system, please don't hide it from your dad. You do not say why you must go to your dad I can only assume mom is absent for some reason.

As I said dad knows more about your reproductive system then you think. I'm certain if you go to him and say dad I have this pain or this sensation. If he is not sure about the problem he will consult with a doctor to see if you need to be seen.

Also it is quite normal for young teenage girls to miss a period. IF you haven't had sex there is nothing to worry about. If you miss more than one period in a row it is time to consult a doctor. If you are under 14 then dad has to make the appointment. Your conversation with dad starts with. "Dad I'm still a virgin but I have missed some period, is this something to worry about."

Okay so I'm 25 female. Skinny and healthy. I've had two kids. I'm recently married to their father. He and I started out on a strict "no strings attached" relationship. We were booty calls and nothing more... But our connection was so strong and powerful. We fell in love immensely! Everything was going great... ESPECIALLY our sex life. We had the same sex drive, same fantasies, same everything. We would have sex between 1-3 times a day for about 5 months straight... No exaggerating!! But then my sex drive just started going down out of no where. It's now been a year since it started and its only gotten worse. To the point where I don't want it at all, ever, that I'm so willing to do almost anything not to have it. He on the other hand if still at square one. So you can imagine the issue. I've talked to doctors. I'm so sick of fighting about it. It makes me feel so undesirable and unattractive. I have tried foreplay, acting out new fantasies, masturbating, porn, etc. Etc. Nothing is working!!! I just want my sex drive back. Even just a little bit. It's truly screwing up what was once a perfect relationship. Please please help me!!! What can I do?? Why do I not have one? Anything???!!!

I'm not a doctor none of us are but has any of your doctors checked your Estrogen levels. From what I understand low estrogen in a women has the same affect as low testosterone in a man and lowers sex drive. I also heard on the news recently the FDA approved a pill for women similar to Viagra for men that will help increase a woman's sex drive. You might ask your doctor about this new pill.

Now the fact that you are skinny also raises the issue of are you underweight. If you are this could hamper your sex drive as well. Being underweight upsets the body's natural need for energy. If you do not maintain a proper weight and take in enough calories to maintain that weight the body will shut down what it feels is unnecessary systems.

It would be conceivable that since women that are underweight have trouble conceiving it is the body not allowing this since it cannot maintain a pregnancy so it also lowers the sex drive so pregnancy does not become a problem.

Then there's the fact that your have two young children. IF you work outside the home and are also the parent primarily responsible for caring for the children. It just might be that you are just plain too tired to think of sex.

Last but not least there's the mom factor, my wife had this. She just could not relax and have sex at home. She was constantly worried we would be intruded upon, even though the bedroom door was lock, or the baby would need her or something would happen to interrupt us.

This was fixed by giving the grandparents the baby for a night and checking into a motel or having the grandparents take the baby for the weekend and have a weekend escape. Don't get me wrong we did have sex at home but it wasn't the same. Probably like you she allowed me to have sex with her but for what it was worth. Most of the time Miss thumb and her four friends would have given me the same enjoyment.

There is nothing wrong with being too tired for sex. That is hopefully fixed by having your husband help with household chores and child care. If he wants more sex this may be what he needs to do to put you in the right frame of mind to be interested in having sex.

There is also nothing wrong with the mom factor. You are a mom and you worry about these things more than a man does. You're also a woman and for a woman to enjoy sex she must be secure in her surroundings that she is safe and won't be intruded upon. When your a mom you may be safe in your surroundings but intrusion is a constant worry. It may not be a physical intrusion but one where the child needs you while having sex.

The fact that the doctors may not have found anything wrong does not surprise me. There are as I have written a great many other factors that affect sex drive in a woman.

The one thing I would suggest asking the doctor to check is your Estrogen level as that is not a test done routinely when ordering blood work.

Hello, I'm a 22 year old girl and I think I've had a pretty rough couple years. From my mom passing away from cancer when I was 18 to my sister being told she had cancer at only 24. Let me start from the beginning. When my mom passed 4 years ago I had to assume the responsibilities of keeping the household clean, taking care of my 9 yr old brother at the time and making sure dinner was ready when my dad got home after I left my own job. During that time my dad would have dinner after work and go to the bar have a couple drinks with his friends and come home pretty tipsy. My job was to make sure my little brother didn't get him back since my dad always had a bad temper. My little brother was dealing with things pretty well for a 9 yr old. Always very responsible and willing to help. While Im making sure my brother is getting all his homework done and help with anything he needs my dad is messing around with a girl that was my age. At the time I was 20... To me that was just disgusting. I remember not even being able to look at him. My older sister was then diagnosed with ovarian cancer and let me tell you. Losing the most important person to cancer and then having to go through the whole process again was horrible. I was constantly in distress. Luckily the same way it appeared it went away without any treatments. The only way I knew of how to gather my thoughts together was by "shutting down" getting home, putting my sweats pants on grab a book and just read.. or write. Now I'm 22 and have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years and things were wonderful in the beginning ofcourse. But after catching him talking to other girls and him always wanting to know what and with who I am doing anything I started to shut down again. He seems to not understand it and its starting to take a toll on me. I'm starting to question if I'm losing my mind for dealing with things like this. It also takes a lot for me to shut down.. help seriously appreciated. (sorry for the long "question")

My condolences on the loss of your mother.

Shutting down is an escape mechanism that is a part or a symptom of clinical depression. Given everything you have gone through and what has been put upon you it is natural for you to be depressed but not to the point you appear to be. Are you at the point that you need medication? I can't say I'm not a doctor. Having been depressed myself I know what some of the symptoms are and you are expressing several of them.

What I suggest is this. Call your doctor and make an appointment for a complete physical, you are going to need one anyway if you are diagnosed as clinically depressed and seek treatment. While your with your doctor ask to be screened for depression. It is a painless exam and consists of the doctor asking you some questions by which a diagnosis can be made. The reason for the physical is to rule out any organic reason for you feeling the way you do.

Clinical depression is a medical condition not a mental condition as it is caused by the body not making enough of one or two chemicals that help us keep from getting depressed. Since these chemicals are secreted into the brain the family doctor is not the best doctor to treat this problem. The best doctor to treat this is a Board Certified Psychiatrist who is a Medical Doctor who has done a years Fellowship and past specific test to Practice psychiatry. They are better qualified and have a better knowledge of medications then the family doctor might prescribe.

I would also suggest you seek talk therapy with a psychologist. I think you need this as you need to get all of this of your chest to someone who will keep your confidence. A psychologist can be that best friend you tell your deepest and darkest secrets to knowing they will never be told to anyone.

Lastly if I am correct and you are suffering with depression try and remember that depression colors your perception. That what you see may not actually be what you believe you are seeing. It is more of what you think it could be than what it actually is. In essence what I'm saying is if you love your boyfriend do not do anything rash until you are in treatment then talk to the psychologist about what you see and work it out together before doing anything rash.

I've sort of been where you are, being depressed, so I know from where I speak. Please see a doctor and get some help.

you say it is selfish to commit suicide. you must not have had chronic pain or be so lonely nothing matters. it is people like you that are selfish. you pretend there are no issues and would like a loved one to live in pain or depression just because you do not want to lose them. life with depression is difficult or chronic pain is unbearable. there is no quality of life. you are the selfish one

Actually I do suffer from Chronic pain and have suffered for the last ten years. The first two years were horrible as the different insurance companies fought to see who would be responsible for paying for the treatments that would hopefully bring me relief.

You see I was the only innocent in a three car auto accident that has left me in chronic pain and disabled because of it. Since I was driving a company vehicle the three auto insurance companies argued with workman's compensation as to who would pay the bills.

Eighteen months, two workman's compensation hearings before workman's compensation Insurance was ordered to pay for treatment. Treatment because what is wrong with me cannot be fixed. Two days before their appeal rights expired they notified my attorney they were appealing to circuit court. This could take another two years. I fell into a deep depression. Laying down in front of a speeding freight train was looking very good.

That was ten years ago and because of this I think I am more than qualified to tell you suicide is not the answer. One week later the insurance company fired the adjuster on my case cancelled their appeal, paid me the money they owed me and allowed me to start seeing the doctors who eventually were able to control my pain at a level that I can deal with.

No I am not pain free although there are day when I am. What I have to decide now is if what I want to do is worth the level of pain it will bring on. If I decide to do it I also have additional medications that will quickly break through the pain and get me back to a level I can deal with. Most of my medications are non-narcotic. The breakthrough medication is a narcotic medication I take only when needed.

For my depression I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed anti-depression medication for about two years and I also saw a psychologist for talk therapy. My pain medication and pain treatments are done at a pain management center.

I still see the psychologist 4 times a year as it is part of the pain management treatment. To make sure I do not slip back into depression. Depression causes pain and pain causes depression.
There is hope and help for chronic pain, you just need to see the right doctors.

If you have not been seen and treated by a Pain Management Center than you need to see one. These doctors are anesthesiologist specially trained to deal with Chronic pain. They should have Board certifications to practice this specialty.

I would suggest if you have a level 1 Trauma hospital near you that you contact them and see if they have a pain management center within the hospital or affiliated with them. This is the type center I see and also where my neurosurgeon practices.

Find a psychiatrist for medication and a psychologist for talk therapy. These are the mechanics for getting over the depression. The rest is up to you and how compliant you are with treatment. I can't tell you how the talk therapy works in fact I was sure it would not work because I thought psychiatry was a bunch of bull. I'm here today because it did work and it will work for you.

Suicide is the wrong solution not the answer. I'm living proof of that.

I'm a sixteen year old female, and the guy I will be mentioning is a seventeen year old male.
I met him online, and we've been talking a lot ever since we met. I like said guy, and he likes me too.
Here's the problem: I live in the United States and he lives in Russia. We're both a little hesitant about the distance, and neither of us know what to do. Any advice?

Hello, Long distance romances within the same country or even in the same state rarely work out. While it may be said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is not exactly true, especially in your situation.

First: Consider where you both live, what are the chances of you two ever meeting face to face? The answer is probably slim to none.

Second: Now consider your ages: You are both young, in the prime of your teenage years fast approaching the freedom of adulthood. Do you picture either of you sitting home pinning for the other the one you may never have? I sincerely doubt it. You both are going to go out have fun and fall in love with other people.

Third: Maybe this should have been first. What do you really know about this boy. Is he really 17? Does he really live in Russia. I'm sure you are aware of online predators and girls especially have to be careful in making online relationships and giving out too much information about themselves. what have you done to make sure he is 17 and from Russia and not some 40 year old guy from Cincinnati who stalks women online.

My advise is to make sure he is what he says he is, a 17 year old boy from Russia. IF you are not able to or if he refuses to give you proof tell your parents and call the police; especially if you have given him any personal information as to where you live.

If you do have proof that he is what he says he is then enjoy him as a pen pal. For that is the best you can hope for from this relationship.

Me and my boyfriend had sex unprotected twice 2 or 3 days before my period. I'm worried I could be pregnant cause I'm 8 days late I'm scared to go to my mom but idk what else to do. Could I be pregnant? I've never been this late before:/

If you are like 85% of women you are probably not pregnant as you were in your safe period. Most women in a 27 day cycle ovulate between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle. This is the time you are most likely to get pregnant. The days before and after this time is considered the safe time to have sex and is called the rhythm method of birth control.

The rhythm method is also the least effective for at least 15 % of women who can ovulate at any time during their cycle including during their period. If you know when you ovulate then you should know if it was safe to have unprotected sex. You are also 16 and still going through puberty. It is not uncommon to have a missed period or change in your period cycle during puberty.

Most likely you missed your period because of the stress you have placed yourself under worried if you are pregnant. Stress causes more missed periods then pregnancy

There are several things you can do to take the worry of your shoulders.

1. you are old enough to go to a drug store and purchase a home test kit. Put the kit in your purse and if you need to hide it someplace mom won't find it, in your room. In the morning when you wake up carefully open the kit and follow the directions. After you test and have the results repackage the kit and put it back in you purse to throw away someplace away from home.

The results should be negative. If you do get a positive result don't freak out, it may be too soon to test or you may have gotten a false reading. Wait ten days and test again. If you get a second positive follow the number 2 suggestion.

2. You are also old enough under a Federal Law where you have medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. This law is called HIPPA. This law gives you the right to seek treatment from any doctor for any problem or concern related to your reproductive system without parental permission or knowledge. Parents can never be told of what you have seen the doctor for or have been treated for without your written permission to the doctor.

This means you can go to any women's clinic and get a pregnancy test and should the results be negative also ask for contraceptive medication.

Also under this law should you be pregnant your parents have no say in what you do about it. They cannot force you or stop you from having an abortion if this is what you chose. They cannot force you to give the baby up for adoption. These are the protections you have under the law.

Lastly in the future if you are going to have sex make sure the boy wears a condom. Boys will give you every excuse under the sun for not wearing one. They are not the ones that get pregnant you are. Also remember whenever you have unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with every other partner they have had sex with. Condoms protect you from many of the STDS that are out there and the HIV/AIDS virus.

When I was your age the girls had a motto they lived by; "No rubber, no lover." It is a good motto to adopt as it takes the worry out of unwanted pregnancy.

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About 2 weeks ago I had a job interview it seemed to well. I got a tour of the place we talked about scheduling and benefits and what would work for me etc. Since the interview he has called me twice to see if I was still interested and if I was contacted by the hr department to be fingerprinted. When I told him I wasn't contacted and seemed upset that I wasn't contacted so soon after I was and I have my appointment coming up in a couple of days. He says he also wants me to meet the director of the company also. Everytime we talk he asks if I'm still interested. Everyone says I got the job already as long as I pass the background check which I know I will. But I don't want to take it for granted either. He also he told me he interview a lot of other people but I don't know if that's just to throw me off. What do you think?

It sounds like you are at the top of his selection list. Still it is not a sure thing until an offer is made and you have a letter of employment from them.

If this company is the one you truly wish to work for and another offer comes along what you do is call the person that is calling you. Tell him you have an offer of a job with another company. You tell him by when you need to tell the other company if you will accept their offer.

Now it is up to him to either tell you one of the following:

1. That you have a conditional offer, one that is based on successful completion of the background check.

2. To offer you the job out right at that time.

3. He will tell you he will get back to you.

4. That at this time he cannot make an offer until the background check is completed

For 1 & 2 you ask that a offer letter be sent to you for either 1 or 2 and you accept. For 3 and 4 you have to decide if you want to wait or accept the other offer. He will understand that a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

Employers understand that because of restrictions their company has in place as to how the hiring process goes they do not always get there first best choice. If you get an offer before this company makes you an offer you have to decide if you take the job offered or hold out for one that isn't there.

How old do you have to be to buy condoms?

If they are on a serve yourself shelf and there is no signage to the contrary stating an age requirement. Then there is no legal age you must obtain to purchase condoms.

If there is an age requirement then Federal Law would apply where women can ask for contraceptive medication from their doctor starting at age 14 under a Federal Law called HIPPA. This is a medical privacy law that applies which has a part that applies to all teenagers starting at age 14 covering their reproductive health. It states that for any problem with their reproductive system they have full medical confidentiality and can seek medical assistance without parental knowledge or permission.

This assistance is totally confidential and cannot be told to anyone including the teenagers parents without the teenagers expressed written permission.

Since condoms are a contraceptive you should be able to purchase them once you turn 14.

Today has been a really big mess. My dad's mistress sent a text to my mom, it was a picture of my dad naked. He has been having an affair for a year. She wants him to leave us and move in with her. he says he's trying to end it with her and that she's been blackmailing him for months. I'm 19 but I still live at home, it is REALLY breaking my heart. My dad is my hero, the kindest most giving person ever. Finding out he has done this is just....devastating. I feel so bad for my mom. She doesn't know if she's going to leave him or not, and that's beside the point. I don't know how to think of him now? I feel so hurt whenever I look at him. He keeps saying when you lov esomeone you forgive them. It was a YEAR it wasn't a one time thing. He also gave her thousands of dollars, which we didn't have to give. There are a lot of other horrible details as well. I don't know what to do. How can I trust him again? He didn't even hang out with my little brother as much during the time because she would get mad. I know he didn't cheat on me but it sure feels like it. My heart hurts. He doesn't even seem like the same person. I don't know what to do. She also keeps messaging me trying to upset me. She has threatened to show up at our house. My head is throbbing I have cried so much.

First let me say how sorry I am that you are caught up in this. Your father is still your father that will never change or will the love he feels for you. What has happened is really between him and your mother though it is understandable why you feel as you do.

As I said whatever is happening is happening between you mom and your dad. If they are going to get through this they are both going to need all the love you and your brother can give them. You will only hurt yourself more if you try to take sides. You should also not allow yourselves not to be caught in the middle between them. If either mom or dad asks you to take their side in this you should tell whoever asks that you love them both and will be there for both of them. This is the best advice I know of to keep you from being any more hurt then you are.

As for the threats and texts from the other woman. You are of legal age so either you or mom can go to the district court and request a peace order against her which will require her to stay away from you, your home. As for text messages contact your carrier and see if and how you can block your phone from receiving calls and messages from her. I know it can be done I just don't know how to instruct you to do so.

I know this is hard on you and I wish I could tell you things will get better. I can't for I don't know that. What I know for certain is that this is between your parents and does not change their feelings for you or your brother.

The one thing you can do to help yourself is to contact a good psychologist for talk therapy for both you and you brother. Talk therapy with a psychologist will give you and your brother someone to talk openly to and say how you feel knowing what you say stays in therapy and never gets back to your parents. The psychologist can also help you deal with whatever is happening. Your parents health insurance should cover the cost of the therapy sessions.

I'm 20/f
My mother is very controlling. She trusts me and loves me and even likes my boyfriend.
But a few weeks ago when I wanted to go to my boyfriends house for a few hours she took offence. This was because she works all the time and was angry at me making plans on a weekend. I explained it was because I wanted to see my boyfriend but she said 'what about me'-me and my bf only see each other once a week (been together for two years)
So yes I've got another trip to see my boyfriend on a weekend due-been invited to a wedding. How do I make sure she doesn't get upset again? My boyfriend has said he's sick of not seeing enough of me and its because Im keeping my mum happy. She's nasty when she's upset. She'll leave me totally out of family conversations, make me feel guilty all the time and butters up my sister. Thanks

You are 20 years old definitely an adult able to do as you please without consulting your mother or having her permission. If your mother is controlling you it is because you are allowing her to do so.

This is the biggest problem young people have today. For various reasons, usually monetary they chose to live at home with their parents, by doing so they continue to allow parents to parent them. In your case your mother parents as she did when you were younger by controlling what you do and when you do it.

Reading back on your past questions your younger sister has moved out of the parental home and is sharing a flat with others which concerned you at that time. At that time you said you were working and happy with many friends.

The quickest way to stop mom from controlling you is to move out of her home, I'm assuming you live with her although you don't say so. If you do live with her then this is the best way to start putting a stop to her controlling you. If you cannot afford a flat on your own then consider finding a flat with a roommate of possibly moving in with your boyfriend and sharing the expenses.

If you are already living on your own, or not, then you need to have a talk with mom. It is a discussion many young people need to have with parents who refuse to let go. The discussion goes something like this.

You start with, "Mom I love you but I cannot live my life for you and you cannot live your life for me. I have a boyfriend I love who I hope to marry someday and your monopolizing of my time is ruining our relationship. I also have friends that I want to be with. While I will always be there for you and I will always make time for you I can no longer or will I be with you every free minute we have. But I will always be just a phone call away if you really need me in an emergency."

This is a hard discussion to have and of course you put the above in your own words. You may want to have your boyfriend with you for moral support though it is a discussion you do have to have with your mother one that my son had with me when he was about your age.

My boyfriend and I had sex a little over a week ago, and I am currently on my menstrual cycle. Could I possibly be pregnant even though I'm on my period,and even though it's too soon to tell?

You are not pregnant. If you are having your period it means the womb is being cleaned out in preparation for the next cycle when and egg can be impregnated. The cleansing of your womb includes the lining of your womb being cleaned out and a new lining being prepared. The lining is where and egg attaches so with the old lining being cleaned out there is now way you can be pregnant.

I hope this helps you relax and calm down. In the future insist that your partner wear a condom. Not only do condoms prevent pregnancy but they prevent the transference of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

Also remember anytime you have unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with all the partners thy have had unprotected sex with in the past. Men and boys will tell you sex with a condom is not as much fun for them as it dulls the sensation. Tough they are not the ones that get pregnant.

When I was young the girls had a saying, "No rubber no lover". You should adopt that saying for you own protection and safety. If your partner wants greater sensitivity tell him to shell out for lambskin condoms rather than latex.

I know most people will read the header of this question and immediately have their mind made up. And I used to be one of those people.

I am 21 and he's 22. I've been with this man for 2 years and 10 months. We've had our fights and struggles, sure, but we've always been a pretty strong couple. I trust him more than I trust myself. He's a wonderful person and I never in a million years thought I would be asking myself this question.

It happened when we were out at a bar, and we were arguing about whatever it is drunk couples argue about at 1:30 am on a street outside of a bar. Something about me not wanting to leave and he being upset that I called him a jerk. We hardly ever speak harshly towards each other. Honestly it doesn't matter what the fight was because the fact of the matter is he shoved me, hard. Had I been sober, it may not have mattered. But between that and the force of his push I fell, hit my face on the curb, scratched my face and busted my lip. It looks bad. Of course he felt bad, and of course he apologized. My friends were horrified and he couldn't even look at me. And now I'm just angry. I'm angry for getting drunk and fighting. I'm angry that he pushed me. And I'm angry that I was so badly hurt because I want to just pretend like it never happened. But I feel like everyone is looking at me like I have to dump him... I love him and I never want this to happen again. I respect myself. But I feel like unless I do something, I will look like I don't. I'm just confused and lost and hurt and am looking for any insight what so ever!

You may not be aware of the fact that certain advisors are moderators on this site. Those that are, I am one of them, have the ability to look back at questions you may have asked in the past. I have just done so. I do this to give me some insight into you and the question you are now asking.

Six months ago you wrote that you and your boyfriend of 2 1/2 years had broken up and that you were devastated; you did not say why you broke up. I assume you have reunited.

Pushing, shoving, hitting or physically harming someone is always wrong regardless of who is doing the harming. For a man to harm a woman, even with all the liberalization women have earned, it is still wrong for a man to hit a woman. While in certain circumstances it is justified for a woman to slap a man.

Pushing you in such a manner that you fall to the ground and are harmed falls into the category of him being wrong regardless of his reasons or what you may have said to provoke him. Drunk or sober there is no excuse for losing control and pushing you to the ground.

So what to do about it. If this has happened once it will happen again. If this is not the first time and the reason you broke up with him was he has hit you or harmed you in the past; then the answer is simple. You walk away for this is a toxic relationship where you can end up being seriously harmed one day.

If this is the first time he has harmed you then there are two things I suggest you two do.

1. If you both drink to the point of being drunk, reading back through your questions that is the impression I have, you are what is considered a problem drinker. No one should drink to the point of getting drunk every time they go out drinking. IF this description of your drinking fits one or both of you then I suggest getting help for your drinking. alcohol Anonymous (AA) is a place to start.

2. Given the fact that your boyfriend got so enraged as to lash out at you he needs to seek out anger management help as well. Even drunk one should be able to control their anger so as not to lash out at a loved one.

IF you two are not willing to do this for each other then your relationship is most likely headed in the wrong direction with you being the one to be physically harmed someday in the future. It is unfortunately true that the evidence and statistics on these things are not in your favor. Correction now will save much pain and heartache later.

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