|
My sex drive is ruining my relationship
Okay so I'm 25 female. Skinny and healthy. I've had two kids. I'm recently married to their father. He and I started out on a strict "no strings attached" relationship. We were booty calls and nothing more... But our connection was so strong and powerful. We fell in love immensely! Everything was going great... ESPECIALLY our sex life. We had the same sex drive, same fantasies, same everything. We would have sex between 1-3 times a day for about 5 months straight... No exaggerating!! But then my sex drive just started going down out of no where. It's now been a year since it started and its only gotten worse. To the point where I don't want it at all, ever, that I'm so willing to do almost anything not to have it. He on the other hand if still at square one. So you can imagine the issue. I've talked to doctors. I'm so sick of fighting about it. It makes me feel so undesirable and unattractive. I have tried foreplay, acting out new fantasies, masturbating, porn, etc. Etc. Nothing is working!!! I just want my sex drive back. Even just a little bit. It's truly screwing up what was once a perfect relationship. Please please help me!!! What can I do?? Why do I not have one? Anything???!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I could not agree more with adviceman, its a great idea to ask yourself all those questions, are you in "mom mode" 24-7? are you re-productively healthy?, had your hormones checked? is your man just expecting you to have sex "whenever or where ever"??
Also as we all get older, our sex drive CAN start to wain and thats perfectly fine, and i can understand that being around kids all day doesnt exactly make the perfect set up for intimate time with your mate cause i have a 4 year old boy and and his energy alone can suck the life out of me.
Maybe tell your man that you are just as concerned about not feeling in the mood as he is and that your going to go to the doctor about it just so that he can start to feel like your doing something about it and not just letting things go because you dont care or something. ; )
good luck.
]
I'm not a doctor none of us are but has any of your doctors checked your Estrogen levels. From what I understand low estrogen in a women has the same affect as low testosterone in a man and lowers sex drive. I also heard on the news recently the FDA approved a pill for women similar to Viagra for men that will help increase a woman's sex drive. You might ask your doctor about this new pill.
Now the fact that you are skinny also raises the issue of are you underweight. If you are this could hamper your sex drive as well. Being underweight upsets the body's natural need for energy. If you do not maintain a proper weight and take in enough calories to maintain that weight the body will shut down what it feels is unnecessary systems.
It would be conceivable that since women that are underweight have trouble conceiving it is the body not allowing this since it cannot maintain a pregnancy so it also lowers the sex drive so pregnancy does not become a problem.
Then there's the fact that your have two young children. IF you work outside the home and are also the parent primarily responsible for caring for the children. It just might be that you are just plain too tired to think of sex.
Last but not least there's the mom factor, my wife had this. She just could not relax and have sex at home. She was constantly worried we would be intruded upon, even though the bedroom door was lock, or the baby would need her or something would happen to interrupt us.
This was fixed by giving the grandparents the baby for a night and checking into a motel or having the grandparents take the baby for the weekend and have a weekend escape. Don't get me wrong we did have sex at home but it wasn't the same. Probably like you she allowed me to have sex with her but for what it was worth. Most of the time Miss thumb and her four friends would have given me the same enjoyment.
There is nothing wrong with being too tired for sex. That is hopefully fixed by having your husband help with household chores and child care. If he wants more sex this may be what he needs to do to put you in the right frame of mind to be interested in having sex.
There is also nothing wrong with the mom factor. You are a mom and you worry about these things more than a man does. You're also a woman and for a woman to enjoy sex she must be secure in her surroundings that she is safe and won't be intruded upon. When your a mom you may be safe in your surroundings but intrusion is a constant worry. It may not be a physical intrusion but one where the child needs you while having sex.
The fact that the doctors may not have found anything wrong does not surprise me. There are as I have written a great many other factors that affect sex drive in a woman.
The one thing I would suggest asking the doctor to check is your Estrogen level as that is not a test done routinely when ordering blood work.
]
More Questions: |