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Need helps surprising my boyfriend
So me and my boyfriend have a great sex life and most of the time I'm a huge submissive and him a dominate. However on the odd occasion he's expressed his desire for me to dominate him but I'm not sure I know what to do. So guys or girls if you could give me some tips or moves or whatever to do to be more dominate or thing that's you/your boyfriends enjoy when they are being dominated that would be really cool! Thanks
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Sometimes its just because its something new one hasn't tried that they avoid doing or stick with what feels easier for them. Sometimes its a persons age and lack of life experience in the sexual arena that have them not exploring. I know I was less explorative to taking the first move when I was younger.
I am answering this based on whom makes the first move and how rather than the BDSM sub and dom thing. I like some aspects of it but for the most part, its not my thing. If this is more along the lines of what he is hoping for from you, then let me know and I'd have totally different suggestions for you.
But just on making the first move, missundersmock pretty much said what I was going to. If my man is already undressed however, and in the bedroom standing, I'll move him backwards til he's standing flush against the bed, then using the element of surprise, push him hard so he lands on the bed and then I pounce on him, whether I still have clothes on or not. Guys like to feel wanted and desired as much as women and making the first move sometimes definitely conveys this message.
Touching him and showin affection even outside the bedroom is something guys crave too. Men have their errogenous zones too, and touch and massage feels as good on them as it does to you. Try initiating getting him in the mood. It might be the weekend and you're doing household stuff or chores. Not that its hard to get your guy in the mood but they like to know you're looking forward to having sex again too. From my life, he's busy doing dishes at the sink without a top on. I sneak up behind and have my top off, start to slip my arms around his middle like giving the impression its just a hug from behind and then I rub my chest back and forth across his back. We're nudist at home sometimes too and theres been an occasion when he's in the cleaning mode, not focused on me and when he's bent over, I reach quickly from behind (surprise sneak attack again) and grab and fondle his balls. You can say things too that heighten the fun. like: Just giving you a little taste of what to look forward to as soon as we get our chores done, or if not at home, 'what to look forward to when I get you back home.'. I am constantly in the state of touching my husband in some way, some loving, innocent and some overtly sexual, but it is all desired and appreciated by him. It depends what you do, based on where you are. If out in public, make sure there are no people around and no security cams any where in the area and give him a treat of touching him intimately or...like when on a hike and there wasnt a soul around, I'd say 'hey' to get his attention and as soon as he looked my way, start to lift my top...those sorts of things are very appreciated by ones man. It doesnt need to always lead to sex right on the spot, just these little things to build up the anticipation for later when in a secure total private setting with no chance of someone coming upon you is good. There's so much that can be done to spice up the relationship. Have fun with it. I guarantee he'll enjoy anything you try.
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try once you get into the bedroom and your about to start, walking towards him, pulling his hat off his head and kissing him while your backing him up towards the bed. Then climb on to him slowly once hes laying on his back on the bed and then start removing clothes. your or his doesnt really matter, as long as YOUR doing it then your the dominate one and it doesnt really matter what you do.
thats all i got for now. good luck.
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Hi there. Once you mention sub/dom it conjures up visions of handcuffs, ties and all manner of odd accessories doesn't it? Probably fair to say most couples don't pursue it to this extent, with either male or femal dominant. Just reversing the more usual role where the guy tends to be 'on top' and/or providing most of the movement reverses the whole dynamic and 'feel'. Maybe just start with this? You on top and him taking a more passive-submissive role? If he likes you controlling the action and you find being in control empowers you (and you like the feeling a lot!) then go from there. If after a number attempts you find neither of you actually take to your new role at all, then there isn't much point pursuing it further really. It should be obvious if it's 'working' or if it just isn't for you. Have fun!
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