about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

I am a junior and prom is May 13th...apparently it is getting pretty late to get a date. I don't have a ton of friends who are boys - I have some I am friendly with, but only in school & I am pretty sure none would ask me. I would feel silly asking any of them too, I really don't know them well at all. I just don't know what to do, & don't say ask my friends dates for their, because most of them all have dates already too. What can I do?!?!?!?!?!?!

There are people that go to prom alone. Guys and girls included. If you go without a date, you'll still be able to dance with guys, be with your friends and have fun. I went alone and I got to dance with my crush a whole lot because he went single too. At the time I was way to shy to ask him to go with me or anything and I didn't want it to turn into a relationship. In any case, you'll still have a great time. If you don't want to do that, you can ask someone. The guy doesn't always have to do the asking, plus, it's not like you'd be asking him to be your boyfriend, you'd just be asking him to go with you to the dance as a friend. If none of that works for you there's always next year. I hope that you can work up the courage to ask someone, I kind of regret not doing it. Good luck!

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I did alot of exercises yesterday.. I mean alot.. and my legs are like sore! I fell going up the stairs cause they were so sore today at school.. they are still sore to i have ball practice everyday and i also have gym how could I get my legs from not being sore?

Stretch and ice. There's not much else. Try not to exercise so much in one day. You get sore like that because you are overdoing it. Good luck.

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Okay so my boyfriend and I want to go farther and we are thinking about anal sex. I know it's going to hurt and all but all of the people I've talked to said it only hurts for a little bit. Can someone help me that has had it before and tell me like if it really hurts and if its something I should definitely not do?

Make sure that you do a lot of foreplay it will help you relax. It's very important that you are relaxed. It's also a good idea to use a condom with lubrication because it'll go easier. The people you talked to are right. Here's a website that might help you understand better.
http://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/anal.shtml
There are a lot of websites that have more information that you can look at, but just be careful what you click on. Good luck!

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In my english class we have to write a poem about respect and i dont have anything in mind. its due tomorow morning. it doesnt have to rhyme or anything like that it just has to be a poem about respect. please help me. i dont want to fail!

I can't remember what it's called off the top of my head, but when you use words to spell out another word it's considered a poem. That makes little sense so here's an example.

Kitten

K nowledgeable
I nnocent
T iny
T eriffic
E nergetic
N ice

If you don't think that's quite enough, you can use phrases...

K ey to my heart

and so on.

Good luck!

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I know this ex-colleague of mine but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.

He's confident, witty and a workaholic.

However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.

So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!

Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well except that when i asked him for lunch, he just disappeared and dint reply yes/no.,,which was kind of weird.

I managed to obtain his cellphone and he replies all my sms except the ones on personal questions.

So how do i even talk to him tru the phone as a friend, if he's that shy?

How do i get him to even talk to me like a normal friend?

Would appreciate your advice.

The best advice I can give you is to be patient. Try to take it a little slower. My guess is that he doesn't know how to talk to girls and you're scaring him. Lots of guys are like this. Try to steer away from the personal stuff right now. He's not ready for that yet. Friends don't always know about each other's personal lives. It's probably pretty obvious to him that you like him too. That could be what the problem is. If he can't even be friends with a girl he must be completely terrified about a relationship. I'll bet that he thinks that that is what you are after. Really stress the fact that you just want to be friends. He's not going to be a "normal" friend right away. He needs a lot of time to get used to the idea. Give him that time and it should work out. Good luck!

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I have diabetes so i dont drink regular sugared soda. I mean i can but i dunno i just dont really even like it. But anyways ever since i got it i have been drinking diet coke. I know its not as good as drinking water but is diet soda bad for you???

As long as you don't drink a ton of it, it won't cause you any harm. There have been studies that it's bad for you, and it does have some bad stuff in it, but it's no worse than regular soda and again, as long as you don't drink it in great excess, it's not bad.

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ITS LONG BUT PLEASE READ!
i'm a 15 yr old girl

this JUST happen.. i came home and EVERYTHING.. and i mean EVERYTHING in my room was completely rearranged, reorganized, stuffed in random places, moved across the room, just everything was completely wrong in my room. We just had new housekeepers come for their first day and all i could do was cry at the sight of my room. I really did.. i just cried, it's already late enough and it was going to take me so long to fix my room and put it back to normal. My mom apparently LOVES the new maids ??? i told her to come upstairs and i showed her how everything was wrong. all she said was "they just wanted to make it look clean" LAKDJFKSJ... there are no words for me to describe how upset i am.. am i over reacting??

the only reason i feel so upset is because my room is MY place.. it's the only place i EVER feel comfortable, i don't even like when my family walks in my room, it's just MINE and it wasn't even messy in the first place its just like the housekeepers had the sudden urge to throw random stuff into empty shoe boxes and put them under my bed ...??? so i've spent the past HOUR re-doing my room... i'm not even kidding, i told my mom that i don't want them to clean my room and that i will do it from now on and apparently she won't let me do that because she doesn't think i'll actually clean up...how do i show her that i don't need a maid? and am i over reacting??

I don't think you're overreacting. Don't try to go through your mom she doesn't seem to understand what you're feeling. I'd say leave a note. Make it nice though. Tell the housekeepers that you would appreciate it if they didn't move things all around. I don't think it's a bad thing to have them clean your room. Wash the windows, sweep/vacuum the floor etc., but just let them know that you'd rather they not rearrange everything on you. Don't take it out on anyone just yet, right now it's just a misunderstanding. I hope that everything goes well for you and good luck. :)

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I am 13, and all my friends shave their legs except me and one other peron. I always tell my mom to wash my sweat pants. She is like "If your wearing thooses just because you don't shave your legs than well go to the store and get you a razor!" And of course I say "What, No Mom!" because I don't like talking to her about that kind of stuff.(shaving, periods, dating, boys, whatever)
I want to shave because every one always looks at me wierd when they can see my legs and I have never worn a skirt shorter that my ankles since I was a little kid. I REALLY want to shave my legs, but I just don't how to tell my mom or what to say to her. What should I do?

Wow I wish my mom did that. I was the same way as you and she never brought it up. That made it so much harder. Just answer her question honestly. It may be hard to do, but you have to be able to communicate to other people what you want and need. You're 13 and you need to start being assertive or you're never going to get anything that you want. If you really can't do it, the next time you're in the store, just pick up a razor off the shelf and put it in the cart. If she says anything be like "I don't wanna talk about it mom it embarasses me" and she should be quiet about it and get you razors from then on. I hope that everything goes well and good luck!

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I'm worried about my friend, she's involved with a guy that makes a fool out of her every chance he gets. i try to tell her that she should just leave him alone but, she wont listen. should i just let her be and sit back while she's being made a fool of?

You tried and that is all that you can do. Just as long as she's not getting hurt or anything like that just let her be. She'll figure everything out for herself soon enough. Good luck.

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what does it mean when during an entire duration of a conversation with a guy, he's staring straight at your lips and occasionally into your eyes?

Yes, it means that he wants to kiss you and all that other romantic jazz, BUT make sure you're not just imagining it. Meaning, since YOU like HIM, you could be misinterpreting his actions and seeing what you want to see. Maybe he looks at everyone's lips. Maybe he just likes your lips and nothing else about you. Maybe he really isn't looking at them. So, it's not a sure sign that he likes you. Make sure there are a few other signs before you make a move or anything, or you could make a pretty big fool of yourself. Good luck!

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ok lately ive been getting these REALLY REALLY bad pains on my right side, right under the end of my rib cage. What could this be? could it just be cramps? I havent gotten my period for the first tim yet so could that be it? Please help...i rate high. ♥

It could be from your period, but those cramps would probably be lower than that and aren't usually just on one side. Since it's on your right side you should see a doctor immediately to make sure it's not your appendix. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but if it is your appendix and you don't get it removed soon enough, you could die. So it's really important to get that checked out. It could also be an ovarian cyst, which is something else you need to go to a doctor for. Good luck.

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((i rate high))

ever since ive been starting this diet i have been getting really bad stomach pains (not like period) but it hurts..this is my diet::

Day 1-eat a lot of food. everything i can. then i eat so much it makes me throw up..!
Day 2-eat nothing.at all..
[[repeat]]

What you are doing is called bulimia. It is an eating disorder. I don't know if you know what bulimia is, but it doesn't mean that you have to make yourself throw up. Bulimia means that you binge (eat a lot of food) then throw up. It doesn't have to be self-induced. If you can't stop doing this you need to get help right away. If you can please do! Bulimia is very very unhealthy for you and it's not a very effective way of losing weight. Just eat healthy every day and exercise. That is the best, safest, and easiest way to lost weight. Good luck.

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im really scared for my love life..
right now im 15 and in about 2 months i will be about 16! i havent had a boyfriend before..ive only madeout with one person and thats all! i feel..so out of place. My problem is i dont fall for people easily..so i like rarely ever have crushes..i mean im not lesbian or anything thats for sure lol but i dont know whats wrong with me. im wayy to shy for my own good. I mean i like meeting new people but im so scared what people are going to think of me. And my friend that transfered to my school always wants me to hangout with her and people from her old school but i always make up an excuse because im scared and my self -esteem is so low. I thought i was starting to like this kid..i mean i dont know but now him and this girl are going out..and i have a feeling they will be together for awhile..so that sucks. No guys seem interested in me soo its hard. I dont know what to do with myself anymore! Im soo shy..im not outgoing like at all..im too worried about what people will think of me! and i just feel like i need somebody in my life for once..but i dont see that happening anytime soon :[
can someone please give advice on what i could do or just anything?
i will rate high.
♥

Some may call you prude, but they don't know what they're talking about. You're just mature. You're looking for a good relationship, not just someone to be with. I have this "problem" too. I found myself in a very similar situation to you all the way up until I was 18. The thing is, high school relationships very rarely last. You're with those same people for so many years and you know too much about them to ever want to date them. You're perfectly fine. Since I waited for a good relationship, I never suffered any of the heartache or stupidity I saw all around me. My first boyfriend is good enough to be my last. I ended up getting engaged to him just over a month ago when I was 19. I am so happy with my life and even though sometimes wish I had dated in high school, just for the experience, I am glad I didn't. Being outside and looking in, even though you feel like an outcast, can be very beneficial. You know a lot more about relationships than a lot of people your that have had 5 or 6. They don't know what they're doing and you do. I wouldn't worry if I were you. For now, just keep your eyes open for opportunities. Don't go looking for anything, but if something comes along and the risk is worth taking (you will know if it is) go for it. Once you get out of high school and start college and/or working, there will be a lot of these opportunities. If you jump at the very first one because you feel desperate, you'll be setting yourself up for the fall that you've avoided all throughout high school. Be smart about it. A guy will come, be confident of that and for now, just try to enjoy your life the way it is. Go out and have a good time with your friends. All too soon everything will be changing and they will be just a part of your past. Friends are what matter in high school. Relationships don't mean a thing until you get into your middle twenties and are thinking about getting married. Good luck!

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Wow, Right, I am 13 years old...this is going to sound terrible but i have had sex wit this boy. GR. Me and that boy are no longer together :( My period was suppose to come on the 14th of March...did it? NO.. But then on the 1st of April.. I began to bleed. I thought it was my period. But now im starting to think differntly because the blood comes out on the tampon..but not the pad. I have been very depressed lately trying to figure out wat to do. I am very scared. I dont want to tell my mom cuz i dont know what she'd do. My friend said he'd give me money for an abortion if i am pregnant but i think abortion is murder and completely wrong...what should i do?

When you are really stressed out about something you may not get your period. Lots of things can cause you to skip a period especially since you must have gotten it for the first time pretty recently. It tends to be irregular until your 20's. What you need to do is go to a store and buy, or have your friend buy, a home pregnancy test. Then you'll know. It's as easy as that. There's no need to start thinking about abortions if you don't even know you are pregnant yet. I hope that this whole ordeal is a wake up call for you. Sex is not a good idea especially if it is unprotected. The consequences are huge. Next time stick to manual (hand jobs) or oral sex. It's not that different. Good luck!

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On the home page of Advicenators it shows a person's picture and they are the Featured Advice Columnist. My question is, how do I be the featured advice columnist?

Go to your profile settings page and make sure that you answered "yes" to whether or not you want to be a featured user. Other than that, it's the luck of the draw. You have to be picked. Good luck!

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Is it ok to ask the guy you like to prom on msn? I kinda work with him and we talk a little bit here and there. I think he likes me, but we haven't really hung outside of work. Would asking over msn be weird?

It depends on the guy, but if you have the opportunity to ask him in person it will be much better. It may be harder for you to do, but there's a better chance that he will say yes. If you're standing right there it will be much harder for him to say no, and he might have a problem with not being asked in person like I do. It's not a problem really, but I feel that if someone cares that much about me they should have enough confidence to ask me in person. I put off dating a guy for a whole month because he couldn't ask me in person. It's a lot more meaningful and makes a better memory when you do. If he says no it's going to hurt just the same so you're not really saving yourself in any way by asking him online. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing it in person. I hope he says yes! Good luck!

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I run track and my shins are starting to bother me. I have a big track meet tomorrow and I really need some help on wha I need to do to help soothe them. Thank you in advance

I've had them before so I can help you! The best thing you can do is stretch them and ice them. Fill dixie cups with water and freeze them. Then rub your shins with the ice in a circular motion. To stretch, stand on the step of a staircase with a railing. Stand on your toes and let your heels hang off of the step. Go up and down on your toes somewhat slowly. Another stretch worked very well for me. Kneel on one knee then lean all the way back so that you are lying on the ground with your foot under your butt. These stretches were given to me by a doctor when I had shinsplints so you know they're good. I hope that your shinsplints go away soon they can really hurt. Let your coach know that your shins hurt. Try not to do too much jumping and when you run at practice, ask your coach if you can run on the grass on the inside of the track. Shinsplints are caused by the constant pounding of your feet on hard surfaces so the grass will reduce that a little. If it's possible, running a little slower and a little less will help too. Good luck!

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my friend has this boyfriend and they drive everyone crazy when they're together because it's just disgusting. they won't get off of each other. ther're not making out or anything they just won't literally get off of each other. today we were walking out of school and they were of couse stuck to each other but he started tickling her or something but they sounded like they were having sex right next to me. GROSS. i have a bf and understand how much she loves him but she doesn't get the hint that she needs to save it for when you're home and not in school. get my point??? any advice on how to show her what it's like for us (her friends) looking in from the outside because i know if one of us was doing what she's doing she would be grossed out
thanks for listening i know this was a long one

I'm not sure if this will work, it's hard to get this kind of stuff through people's heads somtimes, but it might be worth a try. Mock them. Get with your boyfriend and act just like them, maybe even a little worse. Really exaggerate it. Make it obvious that you're doing it on purpose and everyone else will laugh. Only do it when you're around your friend. When she walks into the room with her boyfriend just jump on yours and just be completely stupid. Hopefully it embarasses your friend and she stops. If she says anything about it, just say something to the effect of "don't be such a hypocrite" or "well you and your boyfriend do it so it must be okay!" Again, it may not work, but it won't do any harm to try. Good luck!

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I am 20. When I was almost 15, I was a bridesmaid in my only sister's wedding. I didn't really want to be, as my sister and I don't get along, but she wanted me in her wedding because it's "traditional" to have your sister as a bridesmaid. As a bridesmaid, I was outfitted with a butt-ugly uncomfortable dress to wear. After the ceremony was over, I promptly gave it to Goodwill.

Periodically since then, my sister has asked for the dress back, claiming she wants to borrow it herself or loan it to a friend. I have never had the nerve to tell her what I did with the dress and have always claimed I "lost" it. The question came up again recently and my sister kind of exploded and demanded to know how the dress could have been "lost" for nearly six years. She actually went to my room and began digging through my dresser drawers and closet (without my permission), trying to find the dress. I told my mother about it all later and confessed what had really happend to the dress and she was horrified that I had given it away.

This is really a two-prong question:

1. Was it wrong for me to give away the dress? I was under the impression that it was mine to do as I liked with -- no one indicated that it was only on loan -- and I had no use for it. I always give away possessions I don't want anymore, it was not a reflection on my sister or her wedding.
2. Should I, after all this time, finally tell my sister what I did with the dress? I believe she suspects the truth by now anyway.

As long as you either paid for the dress yourself or it was a gift then you have every right to do whatever you want with it. I think you did the right thing by giving it away. Why let it sit in your closet when someone else can enjoy it? I'm sure your sister knew that you didn't like it and she knows you pretty well so she shouldn't be surprised that you don't have it. Tell her what you did and tell her why you were reluctant to tell the truth. Be as honest as you can. She will probably get mad, but she'll get over it. I think she will understand. You're both adults. I hope that everything goes well and good luck!

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Hello.
I'm writing and englisg essay, and english is my second language so I would appreaciate some help.

Would it be;
a) blablalbla..my lover (whom I'm now going to call "blablabla")

OR

b) blablablabla..my lover (who I'm now going to call "blablabla")

??

Thaank youuu.

I think it's A. However you might want to look up the proper uses of "whom" and "who". http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~brians/errors/who.html
That may help. Good luck!

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