about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

14/f
family stressing me bout grades and i try to make them proud but they never are. friends pressure me to party hard. typical shit. but now i feel like there is no way to get out of all this pressure ..so ive started to do drugs. help my i feel theres no other way to feel happy i just need some advice

Check out this website. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm. There is a blue box most of the way down the page titled "Healthy ways to relax and recharge". Drugs may be available and may seem like a surefire and easy way to help, but they'll bring much more trouble than relief. The suggestions that are given on the website may seem boring or lame, but they really do work. There are a LOT of ways to feel better. Exercise is one that'll definitely help. Even if you think that's not really your thing, consider what you're thinking about doing. You want to make drugs your thing instead? Drugs will honestly only bring more stress into your life even if the drugs themselves make you feel better for a time. It will be so much more drama to deal with. Don't let the crappy people around you turn you into a crappy person. Find a positive way to deal with all of it instead. Break free from your negative life by doing something positive rather than thinking that something negative will somehow help. It's worth trying everything else before resorting to making a bad decision. Good luck! :)

http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/exercise-happiness2.htm

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Okay, so I'm 18, female and in my last year of secondary school (or high school) and there's this guy in my class who has been flirting with me over the past few months.

At the start it was just general flirting, but soon he started feeling my legs whenever I sat beside him, and even when I told him to stop, he'd still keep doing it.

Then he asked me in January to go to the debs (Irish version of 'prom') with him and I said okay, but a month or so later he said that he wasn't sure if he was going ... I still don't know if he is or not.

Then he kept up the usual flirting and annoying me until a few weeks ago when it was a non-uniform day in school. I wasn't wearing anything seductive, or whatever, but he kept feeling me up all through the day and I told him so many times that I didn't want him to do it, but he kept on doing it.

The next day I gave out to him and he said sorry and that he'd never do it again ...

Then he asked me for my number, and I don't know why I gave it to him, but I did ...

So since then he's been texting me about nothing but sex-related things.

He started asking me all about the guys I have had sex with before, which was completely none of his business.

He suggested having no-strings attached sex with me, and I said that I would never do that. So he asked me if I did have feelings for him, and I said yeah, because I just do (I don't know why).

Then he said that he would go out with me, but he thinks it sounds gay ... Which makes NO sense at all since I'm a girl.

Two nights ago he was asking me why I don't take dirty pictures and I told him that I never would ... and then last night he sent me a dirty picture! I went mad at him, and he said that he was sorry, but then he tried to convince me to send one back ... so I told him to text me again when he's not thinking about sex, and he hasn't since then.

I know most guys are crazy about sex, but I don't want a guy who's just going to talk about it to me constantly. I don't even know why he talks about sex so much because he's a virgin, and everything he knows is just from what he hears from his friends and what he sees on p*rn.

Should I tell him that I want someone much, much more than a sex-obsessed fool?

Should I explain to him that I'm tired of talking about sex?

Should I just ignore him?

I just don't know what to do about him!

This guy doesn't respect you, he doesn't even like you, he's just using you. You know what you need to do. It's kind of hard though isn't it? I can answer your question about why you have feelings for him and that might help. You have feelings for him because even though his attention is unwanted and inappropriate, it must make you feel good. I mean, what girl doesn't want to be wanted? That's where you're getting yourself into trouble and not setting up the boundaries that you need to. Knowing that someone else likes you makes you think about them in a different way. The thing is, you don't need his attention and your feelings for him aren't the feelings you should have for a person that is a good match for you. He clearly has no respect for you and even though he likes you and gives you all kinds of attention that may secretly make you feel good about yourself, doesn't it make you feel bad about yourself at the same time? It was a mistake to tell him that you have feelings for him even if you do. It'll just encourage him. What you need to do is put him in his place and block him out of your life. He doesn't deserve for you to talk to him or try to explain anything. He's already gets it and fully understands, he just thinks that you're the type of girl that's okay with it. The only way to send the message is to end all communication with him. In doing this, you may teach him a lesson and hopefully he'll start to learn that this isn't how you're supposed to treat girls. So, you have to understand that your feelings for him aren't real or right and that you deserve something sooo much better than to waste your time with this loser. I mean really, read back what you wrote and pretend that it's someone else. It sounds bad. What would you tell that person? You have to start looking for the right kind of attention from guys and getting rid of the guys that give you the wrong kind of attention. If this guy is into you, others will be too, don't worry. :) Good luck.

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I'm just a little curious about this. I know I'm too young(14) for sex, but yeah. Also, I can't seem to have an orgasm anymore. I love porn, but I can't seem to cum from watching it anymore. I'll get really wet, but that's all. That's why I'm considering "breaking" my hymen, and using something as a dildo.

For most women, it's harder to have an orgasm vaginally so the idea of using a dildo might not be as effective as you think. It might work, but it might not so just keep that in mind. If you're ready, your partner is gentle, and you are properly excited (do a lot of foreplay), it shouldn't hurt to lose your virginity. That area is really stretchy if you're relaxed. All three of those criteria are really important though. Whoever it is that you decide to have sex with must know that it's your first time and you have to be able to trust them to be slow and careful at first and not get really excited and carried away.

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Hey guys! So i want to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years and spice things up a bit! So last week when we were hooking up, he said to me, "Why don't you grow a strip of hair leading to your vagina, that'd be hot!" and then i was like "Nah, nah its okay." Because I thought he was totally joking. Yesterday I heard guys talking about how they think it's hot and I read a few things on the internet about how it turns on some guys. So now I'm assuming he wasn't joking.
This whole entire week I've been on my period. (personally one of the worst weeks ever because i want to hook up so bad but i cant!) ANYWAYS, having my period and not being able to hook up with him until its gone has made me so excited to be sexual with him next week. SO excited to the point where I want to surprise him with a landing strip! .. Because I'm assuming he thinks thats hot. I'm only 2 days into growing it out and its already getting there. But my question is, do you think when I take off my pants he will be grossed out or turned on? His humor is very sarcastic but I don't think he sounded sarcastic while talking about it. And he wouldn't be sarcastic about his sexual desires. Do you guys have any opinions? Do you have a boyfriend/husband that enjoys that? Please give me feedback and share your experiences

xoxo gabi

There are men that really like hair, men that really hate hair, men that don't care, and men that want it to at least be neat/trimmed. Some men do get grossed out by hair and it's not because they're attracted to children or that they don't want to be with a "real woman". They just prefer their woman to be clean and smooth. It sounds like your boyfriend might like it or he at least wants to see if its something that he might like. If he was being sarcastic, he deserves what he gets, right?

As much as the surprise sounds like fun, I would tell him about it ahead of time. It'll be surprise enough to see it for the first time. The element of surprise isn't worth much and letting him know will save you if he really does absolutely hate the idea. Not only that, but it may even be more fun and exciting for him to anticipate it.

Really though, it doesn't matter too much. If he loves it, he loves it. If he hates it, it's an easy fix and not a big deal at all. Good luck!

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Alright, so a few days ago I went to see a movie with a friend. I'm 14(female), and he's 17. As we were watching the movie, he put his hand over my mouth and started playing with my tits. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. Well, he made his way to my pussy, and started fingering me. It actually really hurt, and I think he broke my hymen. My pussy kind of hurts, what do I do? Like, when he fingered me, he used two fingers, which I've only fingered myself once, but I used one finger. It's not like I can tell my mom or dad.

Why can't you tell your mom or dad? You were sexually attacked! They would want to know about this so that they can help you deal with it and make sure that you're okay. Don't ever call this person your friend again. He did the worst possible thing that a person can do to another person to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong and you should definitely report him. Don't just let this go. He'll do it again to someone else. What he did to you changed your life and it's not fair. You need to make sure you're okay. You may feel okay now, but reporting this and sending him the message that what he did is not okay to do to anyone ever is the best thing that you can do. They may even have proof of it at the movie theater if they had a security camera. You don't have to tell your parents, but you should definitely tell someone. It is never okay for a guy to overpower a girl like that and if you don't get him in trouble for it now, he could get worse and continue abusing women for the rest of his life. Good luck.

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Okay, so a few hours ago I was fingering myself, and my father walked in. He stared at me for a few minutes, and then went to his room. I tried asking him if I could talk to him, but he said he was busy, what do I do? I'm scared he'll tell my mother.

He's probably more scared and embarrassed than you are. Not because you're disgusting or weird or anything, but just imagine yourself in his shoes. Awkward! There's nothing to do here. Just let it go. He doesn't want to talk about it and that's a good thing. My guess is that he's not going to tell your mom. He wouldn't know how to bring it up or what to say. Even if he does, so what. This is something that most everyone does. You're not going to be in trouble or anything. Just lock the door next time!!!!

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Hi all,
I purchased a three piece utensil set from Ikea yesterday. Two pieces are quite evident but I just could not figure out what the third one is used for.
http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/70149328/

Wuld anybody be kind enough to tell me what that very right utensil is made for? To be honest I haven't even come across something like this before.

Wow, I definitely learned something today! I saw your question and I had no idea what the answer was so I skipped over it, but it started bothering me so much that I had to figure it out. It's called a "single-hole mixing spoon". Lets say you're stirring something like soup or sauce. If you're not careful, the liquid might splash out over the top. Long story short, the single-hole mixing spoon" helps avoid splashing contents being mixed out of the container in which the mixing is being done. Enough liquid can pass through the hole that it won't splash over.

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Hey girls
So i want to have a full body tan but i dont use tanning beds nor will i ever. I like tanning in the sun but i always get tan lines where my bikini is and when im getting down with my boyfreind i dont want those awkward pale spots on my chest and by my V. So is there a way i can get tan full body? I have tried tanning lotions, they just turn me orange.

Lots of guys actually think that the pale spots are sexy! Since you're okay with tanning lotions, would you be against getting a spray tan? That would really be the only way to do it if the lotions aren't working.

http://www.selftanning.com/what-is-spray-tanning/

Maybe it's worth a try? If you're not interested in that, there's honestly not much else that you can do besides find a place where you can tan naked outside. Being that you're against tanning beds and that's how the girls with perfect tans get them, you may end up just having to deal with it. There's not a perfect solution for everything.

I'm against tanning beds too and I'm starting to get scared of the sun as well. I really don't want skin cancer and I'm starting to warm up to my natural skin tone. There are always downsides to doing the healthy and right thing for your body and trust me, if you let a guy see you naked, he's absolutely not focusing on your tan lines. If he is into you he is not going to care at all. Good luck!

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My best friend was dating an 18 year old (she is 13) so it got reported that they were dealing with child porn (a really long time ago, like November) and he was charged for being a pedophile, so he's getting registered as a sex offender.. I was talking to him, (he is my friend) and he wants to commit suicide to get out of it all! he says he really loves my best friend, so I tried saying it would just make things harder for her, but he didn't care... I need help quick!

You have to tell someone about it ASAP if he is still saying these things. It may seem like the wrong thing to do to report him for wanting to commit suicide, but you'd be a bad friend if you didn't. I'd rather have a mad friend than a dead friend, wouldn't you? There is nothing that you alone can do to change his mind if this is what he wants to do. If he's planning suicide, he needs the help of a professional. Good luck.

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I have this guy I've been seeing and he decided that he was in love with me the first time we talked on the phone. He was calling himself my boyfriend and telling me he missed me and loved me on our first date. Now he calls and texts all day, he leaves me voice mails crying when I don't answer my phone. He sends me texts accusing me of ignoring him if I don't answer right away. He's driving me crazy I don't know what to do. How do you break up with someone who is constantly accusing you of being the problem in the relationship??? I've only known him a month and he's talking about our wedding having nightmares of losing me waking up screaming. Does this sound unusual to anyone else or am I just relationship challenged?

Have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that you really like him and that you want to be in a relationship with him, but he's moving too fast for you. Tell him what you want. For instance, if you want him to call only once a day, let him know that. Tell him what your boundaries are and what is too much. Tell him that he's overwhelming you and you just need to take it slower. You haven't done anything wrong, he's probably just very overwhelmed with feelings and he doesn't know how to handle it yet because he's young. He has to learn how to trust and understand that you're there even when you're not and not be so insecure. He is acting like he's just too immature to handle a relationship. You're you're own people with your own lives. He shouldn't be all of your life, he should just be a special part of it. Give him a chance to respect your feelings. If he can't tone it down and take it slower for you, he's not really interested in you, he's just interested in the relationship. You want to be with a guy that likes and respects you and reacts to your wants and needs, not a selfish guy that loves the idea of love more than he loves you. It's not really a relationship if it's all about him. Definitely give him a chance and make sure that you are very specific with the boundaries that you want. He seems like a nice guy, but like I said, he's just not acting like he's mature enough for a relationship. Give him the opportunity to show you otherwise! Good luck. :)

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hi there am from Iraq!! i have a Question?
usually my period end in 6 or 7 days!! but this time it comes since wednesday 27/3 and it didn't finish till today which is 5/4 still i can see some blood,,and i am a virgin, i am a girl!! not a women! so please can i know why??

It is very rare for someone to have a perfect period all of the time. It's very natural and normal for your period to be slightly different every so often. Outside factors can influence your period. Things like what you're eating, if you've gained or lost weight, exercise, or stress can make your period last longer or come at a different time. Nothing is wrong and it means nothing, so don't worry!

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i have problems thinking about how fat i am and at first it was no big deal, i would just not eat, i would come home from shool having not eaten and then tell my parents that i was full and didnt want dinner. i then started osessing over it and now i get into bed and i cant sleep because i can feel my stomach pulling my body i dont know what to do because if i told my parents they would be so upset and porbably force me to eat but now i cant sleep or eat and i can feel myself getting fatter and fatter and i dont know what to do

Unfortunately, yes. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means that your way of thinking about this is distorted, but you probably already knew that. You need to talk to someone about this. It doesn't have to be your parents. You can get help from a counselor at school or even a hotline (1-800-931-2237). I'm sure if you parents knew what was going on, they may be angry at first, but out of confusion and worry for you. It's a scary thing and it's not a fun place to be in your life. Don't you want to feel happy again and not have this to carry with you and think about all the time every day? It's definitely possible, but you have to reach out for help. I wish you the very best of luck.

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I have been texting this boy since May of 8th grade. It is now April in our Freshman year. It's been an ongoing conversation for almost a year now.. its just about random stuff and its usually a few texts every other day (him not responding right away) and so the point is we NEVER talk in person.. real awkward. i want to be one of his good friends that he can just talk to and walk with in the halls. we have a class together and do track and i see him in the halls all the time.. we are in different friend groups too . i feel like hes losing interest and I'm just a girl at his disposal he can text when he feels like it. how can i be more outgoing and just have the confidence to just talk to him. i don't know what to say in person! the year is almost ending and i want to make a statement before summer comes! i really like him and want to be a good friend of his in person.. yeah its complicated..

It's hard to break habits. Have you thought about texting him about it? Once he knows what you're thinking and feeling, it won't be just you trying to make the effort to talk in person. You won't feel so alone and up against the world. Who knows, maybe he's thinking the same thing as you right now. It would suck if he ignored you or said that he wasn't interested and turned away from you completely, but at least then you'd know. You wouldn't be stringing yourself along wishing for something that's just not going to happen. It's a good sign that he's not showing interest in other girls. Maybe he's just shy, like, why does he have to be the one to break the ice? It's not any easier for him to do it! My advice to you is to tell him some of the things you've said here through text. Lay it all out there and see what happens. You could lose him, but that would happen eventually if he's really not interested in you. Better have it happen now than waste any more time. And who knows, maybe it'll spark something great over the summer.

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I'm 14/f and I first got my period a year and one month ago. I do swim team and also swim all summer. I have never used a tampon. I don't swim when i have my period. I'm afraid of tampons and sticking anything up "there". I had to try a tampon because i had just gotten it and i was at practice. My teammate gave me the slimmest one there is and i poked around and it was the grossest feeling ever and i couldn't do it. i cried, was shaking, it was just the scariest thing ever. How do girls do it stick anything up "there".....

It was really hard for me at first too, I just couldn't figure it out. I wasn't on the swim team though, so it was only an issue when my family decided to go to the water park with the worst possible timing. It's one of those things that you kind of have to take a deep breath and do. If you get a box of tampons, there are some really detailed and helpful instructions and tips inside. Most of the time it'll have a picture of how to position yourself to reduce the pain and help relax the area. The hardest part is to relax. If you're really tense and that area isn't relaxed, it's not going to go in very easily. The biggest problem that I first had when I started using them is that I was afraid of using the applicator and so I didn't push them in far enough. It hurt really bad and I couldn't understand why even the smallest ones didn't seem to fit. Make sure that you get it up into a place that's comfortable, which is probably not going to be right near the outside. I wish you the very best of luck. Don't get discouraged! :)

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I'm A 13 YEAR-OLD AND MY FRIEND IS ALSO 13.
Ok, so my friend is ALWAYs talking about, oh, I don't know... how she 'loves with all her heart' her 19 year-old boyfriend who has cheated on her numerous times, and she has done the same, or how she lost her virginity at 11, or guys that she's made out with at waterparks, etc. She is also incredibly slutty, but I'm her friend because her personality is good and she stands up for me... but the fact that all the guys in my class and in eighth grade love her and the older guys always tell her that they want to make-out with her, while I'm standing right there (and they ignore me), and she just laughs! all of this, plus my mental disorder (I claw at myself when I'm overwhelmed) makes me extremely insecure, but not in the way that I think I'm ugly, I honestly think I'm beautiful, but in the way that I feel left out and no guys like me.. I mean, one or two have called me sexy, but she (my BEST friend) has been in all these... 'experiences', I guess. and I just feel unwanted by guys. (ps: we're in 7th grade, and I would appreciate it if no one told me, 'oh! you're too young to care about that! I want REAL advice from people.)

This poem should help. It definitely helped me and it's 100% true.

Girls are like apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Don't lower yourself. It's good that you don't need others to know that you're great. That's why they're not interested in you at this time in your life. You have too much self confidence for them to think that they can get you. You will find someone amazing and someone that is worthy of you as you get older. Someone that will treat you in the way that you show everyone that you are asking to be treated by displaying the confidence that you have and not crawling after losers and perverts. Feeling unwanted is part of being a 7th grade girl. :)

As for your friend, you need to try to help her. She's going down a dangerous, very high-risk path. There's no way that she should be dating a 19 year old and having all of these sexual experiences. What kind of 19 year old would date someone your age rather than someone their own age? Not the right kind. At your age, you're just not emotionally ready for all of these sexual experiences yet. It's probably causing your friend some serious damage even though you envy her and it looks like she's having a really awesome time. She's getting the wrong ideas about what a relationship is and what her role should be in one. She may be basing her worth on the sexual attention of others rather than what she is really worth. You don't want to be like that.

I know it really sucks. I didn't get any attention from guys until I was like, 18. I know I'm good looking. Waiting for a good relationship is way better than getting the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of guys. Trust me. I'm so happy with my life now and I know that if I had been like your friend in high school, I would never have gotten the amazing guy that I married. He would never have looked at me. It's not about how attractive you are or how many people openly want you. It's about sending out the right message to attract the right person. Good luck.

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My boyfriend is the best, and i truly believe he could be the one. We are both virgins, but i get the idea he thinks im not a virgin? He talks about sexual things a lot... and he really wants to have sex with me. He wants me to be on top? I dont even know how to be! can you give me advice on sex? Does it hurt your first time? How long do you think he will last sense he is a virgin? Do I have to give him head if we have sex? What kind of things can i say to him to turn him on? And what kind of things can i text him to turn him on? Should I have sex with him right away? Weve been dating for 7 months. The most we have done is make out. But he wants more. He says he is fine with my choices and he still loves me, but that makes me feel guilty for some reason?

NEVER ever do things out of guilt. Do them because you want to. It doesn't sound like you really want to for you. It doesn't sound like you're ready. You say that "he wants more". Well what about you? It doesn't seem like you're all that into it just yet. You're open to it for sure, but it doesn't seem like it's something that you want to do. If you did, you'd be acting like him. For your first time, you don't want to agree to try it because your boyfriend wants to and you're not against it. You want your first time to be really exciting. You want to be asking him just as much as he's asking you and you're not to that point yet. You may be curious, but you're not saying to yourself "Wow, sex! Can't wait!" Go through this webpage to see if you are ready: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/info-for-teens/sex-masturbation/am-ready-sex-33826.htm. If you don't like that one, there are tons of other ones all over the internet. Just search "Am I ready for sex?" It's honestly not a good idea for you right now. Your boyfriend probably isn't as ready as he pretends to be either, is he? He's not even close to being mature enough for it, am I right? Just wait. It'll be way better if you do. Your guy says that he loves you and he's fine with your choices. That's great! If he is, there's no problem here. Is he really, though? If he's going to keep asking you about it and making you feel guilty, he is probably just saying that. You need to tell him that you'll let him know when you're ready and that he has to quit talking about it because it's making you feel confused and guilty. You have your whole life ahead of you for sex; you don't need it now. Be careful. He may be making you feel guilty on purpose so that you'll do it. You may not think that he would, but many, many guys your age will do just about anything for sex and will NOT care if they take advantage of you because they won't even bother to think about it. You may think that he'd never intentionally hurt you and that could be true, he's probably not thinking about what he's doing. Whether he is or not, tell him to stop and don't let him pressure you. Good luck. :)

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So i made my schools softball team and ever since i have i have been feeling like i have gained weight when i have really been losing weight. the more i think i gained weight, the more weight im determined to lose. my parents say i need to stop losing weight so quick. my boyfriend says the same and that im perfect the way i am. but i have now idea whats going on. i eat regularly, and healthy. i dont know!

It seems like you may be having issues with your body image. What I mean is that you don't see yourself as you really are. This is totally normal when you are growing because your body is changing all the time, especially if you picked up a sport and you're gaining muscle. As your body changes, you can get a distorted idea of what you really look like and you may see yourself differently than how everyone else sees you.

The problem here is that you're trying to lose weight. Why? You know that you haven't gained weight. You hear people telling you that you look great. What is it that is making you want to lose weight? You know that what you're doing isn't logical. You know that something is wrong with the way that you're thinking.

It's a really good thing that you're noticing this before it becomes a problem. You don't want to end up having major issues in the near future dealing with an eating disorder. It's nasty business. You should seriously talk with someone about this before it gets out of hand and becomes something that you can't control and that takes over your life because it will and you don't want that. Talk to a counselor at school or a doctor. Right now, you're okay. Lets keep it that way. :)

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I'm this really great long distant relationship. its almost like we're not even apart.
But i still have feelings for my ex. Iv had them for three years now and i cant seem to quit get over him. i told him the truth and he said it was alright that i still had feelings for him. that he just wants be to be happy. but i still cant help having feelings for my ex. i honestly dont know what to do.

Lets not get crazy here. It's absolutely normal and natural to have feelings for an ex. Once you realize that, you'll be fine. Just because you have feelings for a person that you were once close to doesn't mean that it diminishes the relationship that you're in now in any way. These feelings are okay to have. They don't mean anything and they will fade with more time. It's only an issue if you're considering actually acting on the feelings. You were close with your ex for a reason and I'm sure you had a lot of great times together. You can't just cut that out of your life without thinking about it every so often. Just know that the feelings mean nothing and that they're completely normal. Don't go and do something silly like break up with your current boyfriend just because feelings remain for a person that you used to be close with. Good luck!

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I'm 19 years old, turning 20 in a few months.
I feel as though as my father is extremely controlling and is having a negative impact on me.
For reference, he has been diagnosed with depression for a while now.

Basically, I am an adult now and I'm still treated like a child. My Dad gives little importance to my opinions and feelings, and is always pushing his beliefs and his opinions on me.

He is also always trying to control EVERY THING I do. For example, today is Good Friday, and the day is absolutely gorgeous outside.

I want to go outside by the lake, take a walk(It's about a 15 minute walk), read a good book, sit, relax and even meditate but my Dad says I can't. It's not like we have plans for today, we aren't seeing family and we don't celebrate Good Friday.

I`m just extremely fed up with my Dad trying to control me for no reason. I'm doing my best to try and be as respectful as I can given the circumstances so I don't necessarily rebel when he says no or whatever.

But like.. when does it cross the line? And how do I deal with this situation in the best possible manner and respectfully?

I'm entitled to my independence and my right to do what I want. I'm not doing ANYTHING wrong.

I basically have no life, and I don't do much all day. Everything I do is a problem for my Dad. He's just such a negative and draining person, it's hard to be around him.

If I want to go outside? That's a problem, because ''life isn't about having fun.''

If I want to bake? ''Stop doing stupid things. It's expensive.''

If I want to cook? ''Too expensive. Just eat whatever we have.''

If I want to go outside with friends? ''You don't need friends. They're not going to get you anywhere, and you can't trust anyone. Life isn't about having fun.''

If I want to decor the house. ''It's too expensive.''

If I do nothing but sit on the computer all day. ''You're not doing anything with your life.''

Like seriously, what the hell. I can't even DO anything because he always has something to say about everything. Everything he says is SO SO SO negative, that I'm actually frightened that it's going to rub off on me.

This is how some parents are. Mine were really crazy too. I was 18 and they were trying to tell me that I couldn't go out on a date or apply for the job I wanted. It was ridiculous. But hey, you're 19. Isn't it kind of ridiculous that he's being like this and you haven't moved out yet? I'm not trying to be mean here because remember, I was in a similar situation. It's just that you can't really complain about your life this much when you can just go out and do something about it. You don't have to live there. It's really time that you left. I did. I got the job that I wanted and I ended up marrying the guy that I wasn't supposed to see. Money was tight for awhile, but life is amazing now. My parents are much better now and I enjoy visiting them. They really just didn't know how to deal with having an adult child in the house. I'm sure that there are reasons why you haven't left yet, but if you really are going to decide to stay because of those reasons, stop complaining because it's YOUR CHOICE at this point. Good luck!

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I'm a guy and I dated my best friend. She just told me she was bi wat should I do? I don't want to ruin this relation ship

Unfortunately, you probably have talk to her about it. Ask questions, etc. She brought it up so she probably wants to talk about it. While this may seem like a conversation you're not interested in having at all, you could find out her motivation for telling you. You want to know whether she told you because she thought you'd like it, because she wanted to tell someone and you're a person that she trusts, or because she wants to explore that part of her identity with you. The bad thing is that you can't just ask her what her motivation was directly because she may get offended. You have to figure it out by appearing to be interested in all facets of her bisexuality because she's probably busting at the seams to chat about it with you.

Say that you don't know much about bisexuality because you're not bi and you wanted to find out more. This is what a good boyfriend would do and she'd really appreciate your openness and interest. Ask her stuff like this:

How did you know that you were bisexual? With this question you can find out if she's been with a girl before. If she hasn't, she may want to explore that with you. If she has, she may be missing it. Being with a girl is very different from being with a guy so it's hard for some bisexual people, especially when they're young because they may not feel like one person can't give them everything that they want. She's probably still trying to understand what it means to be bisexual herself, so talking through it with her is a great way to show support.

Have you told anyone else about it or just me? With this question you can find out whether or not she wants you to keep this a secret or whether it's okay to talk openly about it. You don't want to accidentally out her if she doesn't want other people to know. You can also find out if she's comfortable with it. If she isn't, she's less likely to want you pushing her into having a threesome. Lots of guys will think that setting up a threesome for their bisexual girlfriend is the perfect "gift" and a great way to be supportive of her. It is if that's what she wants, but most guys are doing it because it's what THEY want more than what the girl wants. If she doesn't want it and you push for it or bring it up all the time, she's going to get mad at you for being selfish.

Why did you tell me? This is an important question, but you can't ask it first. Maybe she wants to have a threesome. Maybe she trusts you and wanted you to know. Maybe she's worried that she's going to want to leave you for a girl. Maybe she wanted to see if you were okay with it. Maybe she isn't sure if she really is bisexual or not and wants to talk about it. Who knows, but you can get a lot of info with this question as well.

If her bisexuality bothers you in any way after talking with her about it, it's best to end the relationship. You have to be able to respect who she is. Most of all, don't treat her like she's a cheater just because she's bisexual. The idea of having to "watch your back" when she's around other guys and now other girls too, isn't a good one. If she's loyal to you, she's not any more likely to cheat just because she's bi.

Bisexuality is a tough thing for people to understand that aren't bi. It's hard being gay for sure, but it's tough being bisexual too because you don't belong to either identity. You're kind of stuck in the middle where no one cares and most people think you're just confused, can't make up your mind, or you're a slut. As long as you don't judge her, you're supportive, are willing to talk with her about it, and continue to trust her in the same way, you won't ruin the relationship.

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