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My best friend friend just told me she's bi but I dated her
I'm a guy and I dated my best friend. She just told me she was bi wat should I do? I don't want to ruin this relation ship
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Unfortunately, you probably have talk to her about it. Ask questions, etc. She brought it up so she probably wants to talk about it. While this may seem like a conversation you're not interested in having at all, you could find out her motivation for telling you. You want to know whether she told you because she thought you'd like it, because she wanted to tell someone and you're a person that she trusts, or because she wants to explore that part of her identity with you. The bad thing is that you can't just ask her what her motivation was directly because she may get offended. You have to figure it out by appearing to be interested in all facets of her bisexuality because she's probably busting at the seams to chat about it with you.
Say that you don't know much about bisexuality because you're not bi and you wanted to find out more. This is what a good boyfriend would do and she'd really appreciate your openness and interest. Ask her stuff like this:
How did you know that you were bisexual? With this question you can find out if she's been with a girl before. If she hasn't, she may want to explore that with you. If she has, she may be missing it. Being with a girl is very different from being with a guy so it's hard for some bisexual people, especially when they're young because they may not feel like one person can't give them everything that they want. She's probably still trying to understand what it means to be bisexual herself, so talking through it with her is a great way to show support.
Have you told anyone else about it or just me? With this question you can find out whether or not she wants you to keep this a secret or whether it's okay to talk openly about it. You don't want to accidentally out her if she doesn't want other people to know. You can also find out if she's comfortable with it. If she isn't, she's less likely to want you pushing her into having a threesome. Lots of guys will think that setting up a threesome for their bisexual girlfriend is the perfect "gift" and a great way to be supportive of her. It is if that's what she wants, but most guys are doing it because it's what THEY want more than what the girl wants. If she doesn't want it and you push for it or bring it up all the time, she's going to get mad at you for being selfish.
Why did you tell me? This is an important question, but you can't ask it first. Maybe she wants to have a threesome. Maybe she trusts you and wanted you to know. Maybe she's worried that she's going to want to leave you for a girl. Maybe she wanted to see if you were okay with it. Maybe she isn't sure if she really is bisexual or not and wants to talk about it. Who knows, but you can get a lot of info with this question as well.
If her bisexuality bothers you in any way after talking with her about it, it's best to end the relationship. You have to be able to respect who she is. Most of all, don't treat her like she's a cheater just because she's bisexual. The idea of having to "watch your back" when she's around other guys and now other girls too, isn't a good one. If she's loyal to you, she's not any more likely to cheat just because she's bi.
Bisexuality is a tough thing for people to understand that aren't bi. It's hard being gay for sure, but it's tough being bisexual too because you don't belong to either identity. You're kind of stuck in the middle where no one cares and most people think you're just confused, can't make up your mind, or you're a slut. As long as you don't judge her, you're supportive, are willing to talk with her about it, and continue to trust her in the same way, you won't ruin the relationship.
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Well tell her how you feel about this.. Theres nothing wrong with dating someone who is bi. It means essencially that you could possibly be changing their minds on their sexual orientation.. If your their friend then you will accept it
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Depends what she means I reckon. Does she mean she's had relationsips with other girls in the past, and hasn't ruled them out in the future either? Don't worry, she's had previous partners and if it doesn't work out with you she'll have others is all it amounts to. The fact they were female makes no real difference, unless you need to be her first partner full stop. No relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee and over a certain age becomes unlikely to be the first for either. She wants a guy at the moment and it looks like you're the one. If on the other hand she means she wants to have physical/sexual relationships with other girls while being your girlfriend then you'll have to think carefully about the situation. It might seem acceptable in theory, as they're not 'other blokes' . But if she connects strongly with another girl you'll still end up being 'dumped' for someone else. And you won't feel any better about it because it's a girl who's pushed you out of the picture if you're keen on her. You're playing with fire a bit if she's wanting a boyfriend AND enjoy same-sex encounters simultaneously. You're clearly not disgusted by girls enjoying intimacy together or you would have run a mile when she said the word 'bi' at all. Some guys aren't so broadminded. Good luck.
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Her being bi shouldn't really change anything. It doesn't mean she's not attracted to the opposite sex anymore, it just means she's attracted to both genders. You say "dated," which I'm assuming means you dated in the past, and she is now your ex. If this is the case, then her sexuality shouldn't be a cause of concern. Keep doing what you're doing now, be her friend, be there for her, don't judge her. If she wants to discuss it with you, let her. If not, don't force her.
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