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What would you do if a guy you like just talks constantly about sex?
Okay, so I'm 18, female and in my last year of secondary school (or high school) and there's this guy in my class who has been flirting with me over the past few months.
At the start it was just general flirting, but soon he started feeling my legs whenever I sat beside him, and even when I told him to stop, he'd still keep doing it.
Then he asked me in January to go to the debs (Irish version of 'prom') with him and I said okay, but a month or so later he said that he wasn't sure if he was going ... I still don't know if he is or not.
Then he kept up the usual flirting and annoying me until a few weeks ago when it was a non-uniform day in school. I wasn't wearing anything seductive, or whatever, but he kept feeling me up all through the day and I told him so many times that I didn't want him to do it, but he kept on doing it.
The next day I gave out to him and he said sorry and that he'd never do it again ...
Then he asked me for my number, and I don't know why I gave it to him, but I did ...
So since then he's been texting me about nothing but sex-related things.
He started asking me all about the guys I have had sex with before, which was completely none of his business.
He suggested having no-strings attached sex with me, and I said that I would never do that. So he asked me if I did have feelings for him, and I said yeah, because I just do (I don't know why).
Then he said that he would go out with me, but he thinks it sounds gay ... Which makes NO sense at all since I'm a girl.
Two nights ago he was asking me why I don't take dirty pictures and I told him that I never would ... and then last night he sent me a dirty picture! I went mad at him, and he said that he was sorry, but then he tried to convince me to send one back ... so I told him to text me again when he's not thinking about sex, and he hasn't since then.
I know most guys are crazy about sex, but I don't want a guy who's just going to talk about it to me constantly. I don't even know why he talks about sex so much because he's a virgin, and everything he knows is just from what he hears from his friends and what he sees on p*rn.
Should I tell him that I want someone much, much more than a sex-obsessed fool?
Should I explain to him that I'm tired of talking about sex?
Should I just ignore him?
I just don't know what to do about him!
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What I would do if this guy started doing this stuff to me?
I would cut him off. It might not be so easy since you like him and you know you shouldn't but he's not a good guy so just cut him off completely. Don't talk to him and don't ever let him touch you again.
He does sexually harass you. He's immature and disrespects you.
He's a guy who has no self control. Try thinking of having a future with someone like that.
You already know he is trouble, move on and show him that you're too good for him.
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This guy doesn't respect you, he doesn't even like you, he's just using you. You know what you need to do. It's kind of hard though isn't it? I can answer your question about why you have feelings for him and that might help. You have feelings for him because even though his attention is unwanted and inappropriate, it must make you feel good. I mean, what girl doesn't want to be wanted? That's where you're getting yourself into trouble and not setting up the boundaries that you need to. Knowing that someone else likes you makes you think about them in a different way. The thing is, you don't need his attention and your feelings for him aren't the feelings you should have for a person that is a good match for you. He clearly has no respect for you and even though he likes you and gives you all kinds of attention that may secretly make you feel good about yourself, doesn't it make you feel bad about yourself at the same time? It was a mistake to tell him that you have feelings for him even if you do. It'll just encourage him. What you need to do is put him in his place and block him out of your life. He doesn't deserve for you to talk to him or try to explain anything. He's already gets it and fully understands, he just thinks that you're the type of girl that's okay with it. The only way to send the message is to end all communication with him. In doing this, you may teach him a lesson and hopefully he'll start to learn that this isn't how you're supposed to treat girls. So, you have to understand that your feelings for him aren't real or right and that you deserve something sooo much better than to waste your time with this loser. I mean really, read back what you wrote and pretend that it's someone else. It sounds bad. What would you tell that person? You have to start looking for the right kind of attention from guys and getting rid of the guys that give you the wrong kind of attention. If this guy is into you, others will be too, don't worry. :) Good luck.
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First I would tell this guy to get lost. He has no interest in you as a person only as a sex object. He has more than just an average male obsessed with sex.
While I am not aware of the laws in Ireland I do not believe they are much different than they are here in the states when it comes to sexual harassment and sending dirty pictures, nude I assume, of himself, over the Internet or email. Both are unlawful. He is sexually harassing you and if he is underage, in Ireland, then he by sending you those pictures forced you to be in possession of child pornography and he is also a distributor of child pornography since he sent them. This too is unlawful in most western countries.
IF he refuses to listen to you when you say stop or no to his touching you or harassing you. Then you should report him to the local police and let them handle the matter.
As for dating him; forget him I'm positive you can do much better than him.
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As other people have said, this guys behavoir crossed the line from flirting and kind of inappropriate, to straight up sexual harassment.
Sexually touching you when you've told him to stop - that's not just rude, that's criminal.
Sending you sexual photos can also qualify as sexual harassment.
This guy isn't just 'sex crazed'. I know lots of lovely people who are obsessed with sex and never harass anyone else.
At best guy is immature and has horrible judgment - at worse, he's an active abuser and sexual bully.
So you don't owe him any words of gentle kindness - in fact - if you want to do him a favor you might straight up tell him that he's behaved entirely inappropriately, that he's made you uncomfortable and the way he's forced his hands and his pictures on your could easily qualify as criminal acts.
Then never speak to him again.
He's not a friend. Friends don't act like this.
HOWEVER, if you have any concern, any inkling that he might react violently to hearing his behavoir labeled accurately, then skip right to the 'never speak to him again' step.
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He sexually assaulted you and completely disrespected you. Why the hell would you even question whether you should keep in contact? He sounds like a real ass, An arrogant one too.
Truth? No, I do not think you should try to keep contact with him He is extremely immature and has a lot if growing up too do.
Yes, I think you should stop talking to him. If he calls, text or appraches you, ignore him. He does not sound like a good match, he needs to learn to show respect and courtesy befire he can even talk to a woman and be a decent human being.
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Since he has demonstrated that he is immature, has little awareness of, much less respect for boundaries, does not share or respect your values, exercises poor judgement and fails to exercise appropriate self-control, my fatherly advice would be to distance yourself from him as much as possible. You could try explaining that you are looking more for a man than a boy and that you're tired of talking about sex, but I doubt he's likely to change any time soon, especially if you continue to pay attention to him despite his behavior.
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