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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I do take care of my hygiene. I regularly shower, put deodorant on and shave/wax hair.

I always sweat when I go out and I get sweat pads on my tshirt, crotch area, lots of sweat on my forehead and it's very embarrassing because people see it and feel disgusted and it makes me smell. I can't just run home and take a shower every time it happens. What can I do to at least reduce the amount I sweat?? Can a doctor treat this?

It is good to check with your doctor and get a complete physical including and EKG. Some sweating can be linked to organic problems within you that your doctor can treat. Some sweating is caused by medication you may be taken so tell your doctor about all drugs you take including Over the counter drugs and not so legal drugs.

Your doctor needs a complete picture in order to find a cause. Holding back any information about your medical history and drugs taken or used in the past needs to be told to your doctor.

I’m a 13 year old girl and recently I was lying on my bed with my best friend watching videos and I looked over at her and had a huge urge to kiss her. I’ve also had dreams and feel attracted to another girl. I also have an obsession over many male actors and have had crushes on boys. What does this mean?

Are you gay? No your normal. You are a normal 13 year old going through puberty. In the early stages of puberty it is not uncommon to have feelings for someone of your same sex. It is not uncommon to experiment sexually with someone of your same sex. It does not mean you gay or even bi.

As you get older and start being comfortable around boys your feel more comfortable in your sexuality. Do not rush to put a label on yourself as it will only harm you with friends and at school.

I am currently living with my parents to help them pay bills etc, since they are retired. I feel so guilty moving out as they will live a bit tight on money, but I feel like I need my own space. Right now i'm so emotionally drained, my family is dysfunctional and we have a brother dealing with drugs. My parents are trying to help him but he drains the whole family and i'm tired of being in this environment.

I found an apartment I liked a bit pricey but that is what rental places are in my neighborhood. But as the signing of the lease got closer I started to get frightening, my heart was pounding so hard and I felt so much anxiety.

I'm so confused if to move out or just stay here until i buy my own home, which is my goal. Or do i move out and rent temporarily this way i can have my own space and not be affected by my brothers addiction and feeling like my parents always need me. Help, i'm so confused and need to sign the lease asap before i loose this apartment.

Thank you

Let me start by offering this bit of advice. Your brothers drug addiction is not your's or your parents to deal with. I have a brother i-law who is a recovering alcoholic for over 25 years. One of the first things he learned fro going to aa meetings is: "Those who are addicts must hit bottom and want to get help before they can be helped." This is true for drug addicts as it is for those addicted to alcohol.

As for moving out of your parents home. I believe having your ow place will help you better deal with the dysfunctional things that are a cause of your anxiety. If you can set aside some money or pay one of your parents recurring bills great.

Moving out and living on your own allows you to live the adult life your entitled to. Stay out late without the worry of your parents sitting up for you. Having guests without upsetting your parents. These things and more come with moving out of your parents home.

My son was injured at work and was out of work for 2 years while he recovered from back surgery. He lived at home for those two years though as soon as he went back to work he moved out. While he lived at home what I wrote about the freedoms of moving out are what he felt when he moved out. Example is when he wanted to have a party he and his friends chipped in to get me and his mother a hotel room for the night.

we have a window air conditioner that my mother uses in her room, but she closes her bedroom to make sure that none of the cool air escapes into the rest of the house. which does not have air conditioning, so she gets the air conditioning only in her room, forcing all three of our family members, plus three dogs, into one room. she claims the costs will explode if she uses this one air conditioner for the whole house. our house is about 1200 sq ft. and we cannot put it in the living room window due to the shape and size of the living room window.

my question is, is she right? will the costs go up? and if so, is there a way to cool down the rest of the house as well? We cannot afford to have our central air fixed (and it would probably need to be entirely replaced anyway), so is there a better way to cool down? We have fans all over the house, but it doesn't really do much on the days where it's 95 and humid.

There is a reason window A/C units are called room air conditioners. All of the units on sale at Lowe's, Home Depot and other outlets like them run of of normal 110 power. A/C is measured in ton's and most window units do not exceed 1/2 ton capacity. Some will reach a ton which would cool more then the average bedroom if proper ducting was used.

Fixing the central air is the best and most economical way to cool the house. Purchase other room A/C units would be an alternative doing so will skyrocket the electric bill. The longer an a/c unit runs the higher the electric bill so mom is right not to use the one unit to try and cool the house.

Have you had and estimate to repair the central unit. Don't assume it will be an expensive fix. Call a reputable repair service and get an estimate to repair. Also get an estimate to reparable if need be and see what financing options are available.

Check with your electric supplier as they may offer financing as a new a/c unit is more cost efficient then the window unit and it will cool the whole house.

I'm currently having a mental and emotional battle with myself because i'm having a hard time in figuring out what I want out of life and i'm too scared to go out and find the answer myself.
I keep living my life in fear and doubt that i'll never get anywhere and achieve my goals but I just don't have the confidence in myself to actually go out and look for what I need and it just gets on my nerves.

Without knowing your age it is impossible to give you an answer. If your a teenager the advice I can offer is much different then if you are adult.

Resubmit your question including your age or write me a private message with your question and age.

Alright so my boyfriend and I have a great relationship but it feels like sometimes he lives in a double life. For instance yesterday we were hanging out and he didn’t want to come and get food w me or go to the mall “because he didn’t want to hold me back” so I went by myself and then when I got to his house which this is what happens a lot we just go downstairs in his room and lay on his bed. He either falls asleep or we watch Netflix and it was a beautiful day out and we were sitting in his basement per usual. Then he went out and didn’t text me back all night like actually all night even after multiple times I have texted him. I am getting bored of feeling alienated from his life because behind that basement door everything is good and then he opens it and he’s a different person and I just really need help because he’s out partying and stuff and then can’t wake up the next morning when we have plans to go to breakfast because he’s too tired. His double life or what seems to be like that is getting in the way of us spending time together and I’m getting bored. What do I do?

If your getting bored then maybe you don't have a true relationship with him. If you two are having sexual intercourse it is very possible that he is simply using you for sex. If this is the case there is an old saying that fits; Why should he buy the cow when the milk is free."

If you two are having sexual relations and he is unwilling to do anything else with you then you have a decision to make. You can stop having sex with him and see what says. If it is something to the effect you have sex with him or he will find a new girlfriend. Then you will know you are only an available sexual outlet for him.

The other way is to have a talk with him and find out what he believes is a good relationship and what type of relationship your two have.

My advice is at your age he is a high school sweetheart. A relationship that almost always end at graduation as you head of in different direction such as college. If he is unwilling to do more than lay in bed with you I would suggest you find somebody who will treat you better.

14 year old female. For as long as I can remember, my mom has always spoken over and interrupted me. If we're having anything from a heated argument to a simple conversation, she'll listen to like half my sentence then start talking. Once, we were arguing and I was going to say something when she interrupted by screaming at me. When I claimed she interrupted, she replied that she "knew what I was going to say" but she had the completely wrong idea.

Worse than that, if someone asks me a question she'll answer for me whether it's 'what are you doing in school?' Or 'how are you?' Even my dad has pointed this out, and she does this to my two siblings as well. From the moment I was born, she has forced me to do things I don't want to do and decided I would be a lawyer. I don't want to be a lawyer, I want a creative carreer, and it pisses me off that she constantly tries to push back on my hobbies just because it doesn't fit what she wanted to be but failed at. I've tried telling her this several times and she claims that since she's my mother she can do this.

In addition, she's annoying in other ways. First of all, I remember I used to be suicidal (not anymore, have gotten phsyciatric help). I tried telling her I was depressed, and she told me to get over it and how she's had it worse-in fact, she yelled at me to get the FUCK over it. Then later on she invades my privacy by reading my journal and goes all 'why didn't you tell me you were suicidal?????' And guilt trips me through the whole healing process with 'you do NOT get to put me through hell and back and then...' everytime I do something she doesn't like.

Once she caught me with a girlfriend and figured out I like girls. I specifically told her I want to come out to the family on my time, on my own terms, especially since I was 13 and wasn't sure if I was gay or bi yet (or if liking girls was just a phase, for that matter) but she takes it upon herself to out me as gay to everyone she knows.

She complains I don't have a relationship with her. But she expects me to jump whenever she wants to do something while never doing anything I want to do. I'll give an example: I rented the 2012 Les Mis movie and invited her to watch it with me since Les Mis is my favorite musical. She decides to be on her phone the whole time. I try to talk about anything I like and she nods me off.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of being spoken over and guilt tripped over everything. She keeps claiming she wants to improve our relationship, but doesn't wanna do anything other than be all "I'm the mother so shut up" how do I deal with this?

Your mother is correct in the fact that she is your mother. With that comes certain privileges and responsibility. A parents main responsibility is the health and welfare of their children.

By your description your mom is failing at welfare of her children as. Part of a child's welfare is listening to their children and understanding. A parent should guide there children through life but not make life decisions for them such as telling you must be; that you be a lawyer.

You by yourself will not change your mom especially if she doesn't listen to your dad when he points theses ling out to her. There are a couple of things you can do that might help.

1. If your still in counseling tell this to your therapist and ask for joint sessions with mom and dad too. If you're not in counseling you should get back into it and discuss this with your therapist and ask for joint counseling.

2. You can also talk with a trust teacher or principle about this.Part of what your mother is doing with you and your siblings comes very close to mental cruelty. If your teacher and r your principal agree mental cruelty at home is possible they must advise Child Protective Services who will intervene and have mom go to parenting classes.

I am a 29 year old female and I have a date with a guy that i knew in high school that I have not seen in 10 years. We are going bowling and out to eat . I have no idea what to wear. I am so nervous. I still leave at home with my mom and my mom wants to meet him plus she wants me back home by midnight. How do i tell this guy that i have not seen in 10 years that i have a curfew?

I believe in the edict that says "You live under my roof you live by my rules." That extends to somethings related too how things under the roof is done. Example: No overnight guest of the opposite sex; which does not mean you can;'t have a sex life. It just mean not under her roof. Use of her car would be to know where your going with it. Giving a 29 year old women a curfew does not fall under the edict.

You need to sit and have a talk with mom that you are a grown women that she can't dictate what, how or when you do things. If you live with her as her care taker you can agree on time to call her and let her know when you will be home and if you will be home that evening. As I said above you are an adult entitled to all the privileges of an adult which includes a sex life.

Can I still qualify to be a security guard if I have a mental health diagnosis such as schizophrenia w/ bipolar, as long as I'm able to do my job?

While it is illegal to not hire someone due to a medical condition. I believe most employers would find a way to eliminate you because of your medical condition without violating the law.

If I were doing the hiring I would want a note from your psychiatrist stating if he or she felt your medical condition would not be adversely affected by the stress of the job. You most certainly would not qualify for a gun carry permit which would eliminate you from any security guard position requiring you to be armed.

Thank you so much for clicking on my question. I appreciate your willingness to help me sort through this difficult issue. I'm a 27 year old female. My family is basically like a cult. While I love them and care for them, I understand that I need to break free because it's not a healthy environment. I could go on and on and provide story after story. But, to make several long stories short, they have isolated me to a point that is unhealthy. At this point in my life, I have one friend, and now they've prohibited her from coming into the house because my grandmother had an "intuition." I live in my mom's efficiency. I don't pay rent, but I pay the mortgage of the house and all of the utilities. So, basically, my mom doesn't pay any bills. Her aunt pays her car. I think the only thing she pays for is her phone, which is like $50 a month. Unfortunately, I live in Miami. If you aren't aware, Miami has the biggest gap in the country between cost of living and salary. I'm a teacher and my salary is $41,000 a year. After taxes, it's about $2,000 a month. I have two other jobs: teaching english online and driving for uber. The cheapest apartment rentals are $1200 a month. I have tried looking for a roomate, but i'm really not interested in rooming with young college students who party/drink, etc. I know everyone is not like this. I KNOW. But, unfortunately, my options are limited because of where I live. This is a big city a party place. People come here to party and it's hard to find a roomate my age, as most people I know are married.

I have decided to move. I can't live here anymore because it's effecting my health. If my home-life and family-life was healthier, I would be able to stay with them, living in the efficiency, saving money, and then buying a house. But, the reality is, that I can't. I have gotten to the point where I've considered that living is not worth it. When I leave and go on vacations, I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my chest. I feel more confident about my choices. I'm happier. I don't feel like the impending cloud of doom is looking over me. I really want to move to Los Angeles. I already have people there that I know and won't feel totally alone... but I can start anew.

The issue is that because I don't have an address in LA, it is really difficult to get a job there. When I apply online, it always asks me for an address. I do have a friend who moved there and then looked for work. But, unfortunately, I can't take that chance because I have no financial help. My parents aren't exactly responsible with money and I know my mom will do everything in power for me to fail living there because they want me in the house where they can see me all the time. My mom has no life of her own. After she divorced my dad, she never dated, made friends, etc. So, she sees me as everything. Yes, it's sad. But, all my life that responsibility has been placed on me. As a child, I was the parent and I'm tired. I just want to live my life as an adult without the added pressure of raising another adult.

So, my question is.. how can I make this work? Any tips on how to get a job there before actually moving? Any successes with relocating for jobs?

I would say that now is the best time to act on your desire. Make arrangements with friends to stay with them for an extended visit. As soon as your school year ends be on the next plane to LA. Every school district in the country uses the summer months to find and hire new teachers. Being a teacher a credentialed teacher should make you more desirable and receiving a higher starting salary then a teacher just out of college.

Make the rounds of different school districts near where you want to live. Explain you are out there seeking a teaching position as you wish to relocate to that area, no cost to them. Have plenty of resumes and a cover letter to leave if an immediate interview is not available. In the cover letter state that it is your desire to relocate to that area. That you would like to do so with a teaching position to in hand.

Hi so this story might sound a little weird and i am really not here for judgement. i just want help i am 15 btw. So my sister recently got in a relationship (shes 25) and i stay with her a lot, her boyfriend lives with her and his sister stays with them too so often times we are all there together and i have gotten to be close to his sister. Shes 15 too. We talk hang out and a lot of times my sister and her boyfriend will go out to dinner and stuff and leave us there, so one night while we were sitting there i was laying on her lap and i don't really know what happened but i ended up rubbing her... sexually. I looked up at her to see how she was feeling and she had her head cocked back moaning so yeah, we didn't kiss or anything it was just the rubbing. She started to run her hand down my side (cause i was laying sideways on her lap ) and i squeezed her boobs and all and yeah but then i noticed she was getting more and more aroused and obviously i was too, she was soaking wet so i tried to make the next move and put my hand in but she kind of stopped me, me being me not knowing what to do next i kinda just stopped everything and laid down a little bit farther away and ended up falling asleep worrying it might be awkward the next day, so then the next day i woke up and saw her and she kinda acted like nothing happened which i was happy about cause u know i didnt want it to be awkward and we haven't talked about it since. Our relationship has been pretty much normal with flirty comments here and there but i kinda wanna explore that side with her. I am straight but i am bi curious and i wanna see what it would be like. She is kinda confusing me because i get these hints and like she seems like it but i dont know . I know i probably shouldnt but i want to make a move and kiss her or something but i dont know how she will react and i dont want it to turn into something where i kiss her and she goes and tells her brother and he tells my sister and then my whole family knows and her whole family knows and i cant stay over there with them anymore. But like i really want something to happen with us, She has a nice butt, a great chest and she is so beautiful. Sometimes we talk outside of when were over there but not much
Overall Question(s): should i make a move? should i just talk to her? should i flirt more and see where it goes. I dont know what should i do

I agree with Samjoohns that you talk to her and see how she feels. In every relationship from business to sexual the better the communications the better the relationship.

I would start the conversation with; Sally do you remember when I was laying on your lap and we had a bit of an intimate moment? Sexually I am straight but I'm bi-curious and if you enjoyed what happened between us I would like to explore my bi-side with you or words to that effect.

24/f

so to make a long story short, this guy and i dated for about two years before i ended things between us. it wasn't a toxic relationship or anything like that, but i had a lot of growing up to do and at the time, i was struggling with a lot of self-esteem issues and basically i felt unworthy of dating someone. the relationship itself was also quite bland. we didn't really do anything, except hold hands, go on movie dates, and once in a while hang out at parties. we were pretty young.

it's been about six years since we broke up. and honestly, he is a good person and i would like to be friends with him still, and I have tried to keep our friendship alive despite breaking up, but even after all this time, he says he still has feelings for me. He's honestly had it really rough since we broke up; he ended up in abusive relationship after we broke up, he lost a very close family member, and this and that. And he has never once forced his feelings for me on me. He never tried to guilt me. he's been very mature about it.

What i'm asking is if this is toxic for him; me wanting to try and just be friends with him. if this is hurting him more than its helping him. i do enjoy his company, he's a good person, i'd definitely say he's probably someone's dream guy because of how sweet he is, but he's just not my dream guy, if that makes sense. Am i hurting him, though? Should I just let it go? Can exes not be friends after a relationship?

In every relationship be it a working type thing, dating or just being friends good communication is a must. Your question are you hurting him is not one that any of us could possibly answer. Depending on him and how he feels the answer could be yes or no.

I think we all have feeling for certain people in our past. First loves comes to mind. While I cherish the memory would I want to have a friendship or any other type of relationship with her? I'm not sure though this would be a question that should be discussed if we ever crossed paths again.

If yo wish to continue this friendship then you need to ask him that question and ask him to be honest with you.

Hi,I am a 9th grade female and I have a little bit of a situation. So it is nearing the end of the year and we are having a school dance and at first i was just planning to go and go alone but then this guy who i like a lot and i am very attracted too asked me and i was super excited. So we were going as friends but then after a few weeks we started talking like relationship wise and now were dating, okay here's my situation.... He has a overprotective mom that is very stuck on keeping him her baby boy, he of course told her that we were going to the dance together, but she doesn't really want him to be involved with girls because hes done stuff before that can cause her not to trust him, not with girls but problems in general. SO idk the end of the school year is coming up and i couldn't stand going through the summer without seeing him, iv'e had to do it so many times before and i am done with these non working over text summer relationships. So idk i am picking him up for the dance and of course i will have to meet his mom, i just want to show her she can trust me with her son so we can be able to hang out. IDRK this message is kind of confusing but yeah i just want his mom to trust me and i want to be able to hang out over the summer without having to be in a group

-note- there is a girl in his neighborhood that has a huge crush on him and me and him are strong but if we dont see eachother all summer i just dont want him to slip away into her arms
please help.

You said, “He’s done stuff before that can cause her not to trust him.” Trust is a funny thing especially with kids. In general children have to ear the trust of their parents. If they have that trust and lose it for any reason earning it back is hard. You are not the one who needs to earn his mother’s trust. He has to earn his mother’s trust back which is something you maybe can help with.

You may see his mother as over protective. Since I don’t know her I can’t say for sure. Neither you nor I know what he did to lose his mother’s trust. His mother may not be overprotective as much as she may be keeping him on a short leash until he earns back her trust. There are two sides to every story; you need to know what he did to lose his mother’s trust then you need to decide if she is overprotective or justified in keeping him on a short leash.

It's not that I want to die, I'm just tired of living as myself. I don't want this to be some pity party bc trust me, I know how privileged I am. I know how lucky I am to be living in a relatively wealthy household, during a time period and place where girls can go to school and where I can have a future. "future" haha...
I can't imagine a future where I'd be happy. I'm smart and I'd have good college apps so I'd get into some UC schools and maybe even make it to some of the shitty Ivies if I'm lucky. I'd feel just as alone as I do now. Be just as confused. Ok I don't want this to sound like some poor teen girl with no self esteem but WHY THE FUCK DO NO BOYS HAVE ANY INTEREST IN ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! Don't give me the "you'll find the right guy when you're older, you'll meet someone blah blah" because no one fucking knows that. There are actually a lot of people who are in their 30s who have never kissed, never had a relationship, and never had sex so yes I can be and likely will be one of those people. I grew up in a traditional household wary of male/female friendships and relationships because the mentality was no sex before marriage and no marriage till after college so be asexual till then! My parents got married really for convenience and never loved each other, still don't love each other. I don't even know what a healthy relationship is tbh. Aight not to sound like a stuck up bitch but I dress cute, I'm quirky, and I go out of my way to be nice to people... but people who are the opposite somehow are less alone than I am??? I'm fucking terrified of intamacy and crave it simultaneously so yeah fucked up yeah i know. Anyways where was I ah yes no future... so I'll be tens of thousands of dollars in debt from student loans. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm supposed to be applying to colleges soon yeah how the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do "just do whatever subject you like best!" yeah no one "likes" subjects no chemists are fucking excited by the acidity of strong acid titrations okay... people go into fields bc it's what they're good at. I'll probably end up like my mother.. having a degree in some shit I'll end up hating in 10 years. I don't think i'll ever have a family bc id be a shitty mom and i believe ppl who wouldn't be good moms shouldn't have kids just bc they want a family bc quite frankly that is the most selfish and FUCKING STUPID mentality so yeah no family...
I'm always on the outside somehow always on the outside even when I'm not. Sometimes I'll be at a party where I feel welcome but I still just have this giant pit no giant hole in my chest just sucking the happiness from the moment until I'm back on the ground and I don't feel a fucking thing... no more like I feel everything at once.
I don't want to end up like mother. I can see her selfishness or manipulativeness in me sometimes and i just want to carve it out. I feel like even if i escape her in the distance sense once i go to college she'll never really leave me. She'll always be apart of me always be there to remind me what fucked up genes i have or remind me that I'm a selfish wench or that i indeed only think of myself (which i guess is true considering what this entire passage is about) or that ok honestly it doesn't even matter.
At this point i just can't keep being in this fucking body anymore. I just want to fucking drink or smoke or carve myself away but conveniently no one i know sells that shit bc i made the smart decision to keep my childhood friends throughout high school.Don't get me wrong, they're amazing. but one of em has enough shit in her life she has to deal with and both of them aren't the type to party or do any of that "ghetto" stuff.
I have this theory that people who are Loved don't have to be anything else they can just be Loved. For people who aren't we have to be extraordinary to fill the cliche void. I'm tired of trying to be extraordinary. I'm so so tired. I've been it my whole life and only isolated myself from my peers and from the worlds entirety.
I really don't want this to be some pity party but I just don't see how i can ever be happy. I just don't see it.
I know whatever advice ill get will be hotlines or advice to talk to someone well lol if i could talk to someone do you think id be on here? honestly i know whatever advice i get won't help at all bc you can never really get the full picture from one entry and also what insight can strangers have that i couldn't when I'm the one fucking living this mess? alright I'm ready for the incredible bs of answers I'm going to get including cliche you're worth it sayings.

There is an old saying that says; “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your relatives.” From what you write you did not win on that point. Killing yourself will not change anything because death is final. The problems you explained can be overcome.

Your parents are not getting along or having the relationship you want? As soon as you turn 18 you are legally and adult and can move out of your parent’s house.

Smart girls will always have trouble with attracting boys. You can have cheerleader looks but if you are the smartest one in class you won’t make the cheerleaders squad or attract boys. High school boys want the dumb blond types they can manipulate into give in them what they crave the most and that is sex. Smart girls are seen as more bookish than promiscuous. Things will change in college as boy’s mature faster and start looking for that girl to bring home to mama. You are that girl and I do not recommend you compromise your principals just to have a high school romance.

What you can do and I suggest you try is approaching a boy you like instead of waiting for him to come to you. It is allowable for a girl to approach a boy. It was once considered being very forward but today it is seen as quite normal and permissible.

No problem is so huge it can’t be overcome. Killing oneself does not fix the problem. You have a whole life ahead of you. I won’t tell you life does not have its’ problems, it does though as I’ve said no problem that can’t be resolved.

Okay so my question starts with two nights ago when my boyfriend did not have service and he went to some waterfall place with his friends did not tell me. Then he went to one of my childhood friends house who was having a small party and didn’t invite me or tell me. I was in the wrong also because I was helping my good friend dan to set a picnic for his friend Ryan and Ryan’s gf and didn’t tell him. My bf thinks I was sneaking around. So therefore we both suck at communication and to him it’s not fair and I suxk more. Even though last night he was at a friends house with this girl that I do not like and she put my bf all over her story and yeah I was upset. So my question is how do I approach the situation do I get mad at him for being with this girl last night and tell him I’m upset or do I just let it be and try and move on? Do I text him or wait till in person? Please help!

Communications is an important part of any relationship if which there are many different types of relationships. OF the different types of relationships they all have one thing in common. To be successful there must be good communications.

Right now you are in several different relationship, boyfriend, school and teachers and of course with you family. Each of these relationships thrive and grow on good communications.You and your boyfriend are not communicating.

In the communication with your boy friend you need to understand that maturity wise you are three years older than him. It is a fact girls mature faster than boys. This means that if you are both the same age, yours being 17, he has the maturity level of 14.

What this means is you and he have different things you want from a relationship. For the most part boys his age have only one thing on their minds and if they don't get it they move on. Girls should never compromise their principals and have sex with someone just to be in a relationship.

You need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a frank conversation. You need to know what he believes it means to be in a relationship. You will probably be surprised by his answer. If as I suspect sees a relationship as something of convenience then you explain to him what you want from this relationship.

As my mother would tell you at this point and I would agree. You are still young, there are plenty of men in the sea just waiting to meet you. Bait your hook and go fishing. I understand how important it is to be in a relationship while in high school. I do not think you will change him so the best thing to do for yourself is terminate this relationship.

One other thing to remember is that high school romances' rarely extend beyond high school. After graduation and that first summer you will go your separate ways. one or both will go off to different colleges or you will find jobs possibly one of you will enter the military. You will meet new people and have new relationships, several before you find that person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. So do not despair over one high school relationship.

Hi,

I am a female preteen. I recently found porn in the search history of our family computer. I didn't watch any of it, but I saw that there were many, many searches for this. My mom and dad both use this computer, and I am allowed to use it. My older brother will be leaving for college soon, and he has his own computer, so I do not suspect he is the villain. Should I confront my parents? I live in a household where sex and the like are never mentioned, so this is especially hard. Thank you for taking the time to read my question, and sorry for the grammar mistakes, I am only twelve.

You are assuming that one of your parents is looking at porn. Just because sex is never mentioned does not mean one or both your parents are looking at porn. Porn could be used to stimulate their sex lives or a substitute for the lack of a sex life. In either case it is none of your business that what one or both of your parents are looking at porn.

My suggestion is you erase the history and let it go at that. Erasing the history will alert your parent(s) that you saw the porn in the history and they can come to you if they want.

TRUE OR FALSE, Flirting while married or dating one person exclusively is normal, healthy, fun, and perfectly fine so long as everyone involved knows it is meaningless?

I have two thoughts on this subjects. In general if you are in a relationship with someone you should be faithful to them and not be a flirt. In some situations where you are with good friends it can be okay to flirt as long as everyone is not upset with your flirting knowing it goes no farther.

You answered one of my questions and I have a question from your answer. You said that I could be bipolar - would it have to be extreme mood swings? Or could it be subtle as well?

Once again I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. Generally speaking a person who has Bipolar disorder is subject to among other things severe mood swings.

In your original writing you mention your mood swings which gave me reason to answer as I did. Please take my advice and see your doctor for a full physical and ask to be screened for depression.

18/f
For the past 5 months I've had really bad anxiety and I think I'm depressed. I've gotten back into cutting but I find my mood swings weird. I can go from being empty and distant to super happy to wanting to cry in just the period of a day at school. And I'm generally a shy person, especially around teachers but then I get days where I'm just over the top happy and I'm confident and actually speak quite alot in front of them and then there's days where when I try answer something in class you can abrely even hear me. And I've become pretty affectionate lately. And I don't really sleep much, I'll put my phone off at like 10:30pm and at 3 I'm still awake my mind doesn't switch off and I don't get tired at night. I just don't get what is going on. I go from nights where i just want to die to days where I'm on top of the world.

I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnoses. What I can do is the following:

1. Have your family doctor give you a complete physical with depression screening. This rules out any organic cause for the way your feeling.

2. Based on the symptoms you describe I am also going to suggest you find a Board Certified Psychiatrist. The symptoms you described are among those that would indicate depression; possibly Manic Depression also known as Bipolar disorder.

Having suffered clinical depression myself I can tell you that anxiety and depression go hand in hand . Mood swing are also part of the illness and depending on how severe the swings are will affect the diagnoses.

It is important that you have a complete physical as there are some conditions that are causing you problem. Since there are organic conditions the psychiatrist will want you to get a physical.

Recruiters came up to my dorm today and asked if I wanted to join the navy. I didn't mention that I was diagnosed with Schizoaffecive disorder w/ bipolar. Does my mental illness disqualify me? If it does, is there any way I can get around it with a waiver or something?

There are few things the military will accept with a Medical Waiver. Unfortunately your medical problems is not among them.

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