about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.


I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

Please help me! I just don't know what to do! My friend has a date for the prom and then he asked her out and she said yes! Me and my friend Madelyn don't have dates for prom or boyfriend.
Ever since, she's been ditching me and her other friend for her boyfriend and other couples.

It's hard to talk to her! Let's say me and Madelyn, her used to be only two friend haven't hung out with her in forever. Whenever I try to talk to Jasmine on Facebook she responds a lot slower than usual and whenever I ask what she's gonna do today, she says she's going to hang out with her boyfriend or her new friends, who are also together. During lunch at school she eat with them and me and Madelyn are left alone. Jasmine is even starting to hang out with people she said that she hated! I can't talk to her, it's awkward and I don't know what to do about her. Me and Madelyn feel completely left out of her life nowadays and she seems more happy with her new friends and boyfriend than with her old two friends.

I can't take it any more. Her behaviour is hurting our friendship in my view. Please tell me what to do! :(

Hey there,
Okay well if she is ditching you and your other friend for her boyfriend and new friends then she isn't really a true friend is she?Think about it.
If she actually cared about you and your other friend she would make time to hang out with you and make the effort with you.
Move on from this girl. it's not worth the hurt or the hassle.
Girls who ditch their friends for their boyfriends almost always end up regretting it months down the line when they are single and friendless.
It's the whole boyfriends may come and go but friends are forever thing.
You and Madelyn should confront her about her behaviour. Let her know how you feel how she's treating you. How it's unacceptable.
sometimes.
It's her loss at the end of the day.
She is not acting like a true friend.
good luck and I hope this helps.
Much

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At school and around others I feel like I really just don't fit in.. everyone else is on Twitter and facebook, everyone talks about chart music whereas I have no one who can relate to my taste in music e.g bands like arctic monkeys & oasis.. I always want to die my hair different colours and wear really stand out clothes but I don't have many friends at all and I'm really shy.. what I want to know is, although it may sound really stupid, should I change myself so I can fit in more?

Hey there,
You should NEVER change yourself just to conform with society or fit in with people.
You are who you are and that's unique and wonderful.
We are not all the same and that's what makes life interesting.
If you change yourself you will be unhappy as you will have to keep up an act just to have something in common with people. Its mentally stressful and not healthy.
Its great that you like those bands and want to dye your hair. That defines you. Stay true to yourself.
Find friends who will accept you for you.
Not all friends have absolutely EVERYTHING in common. My group of friends and I are a complete mix of personalities! My best friend is sort of into rock and indie music whereas I prefer the more current stuff. She wears skinny jeans and cons whereas I wear floral dresses and boots etc.
Get to know people they will respect you more for being yourself and not a poser Honestly:)
best of luck and much

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Is it normal to want a boyfriend with dreadlocks and tattoos that goes surfing and what not?! My sister said she'd be embarrassed if I brought back a boy who looked like that :/ I thought it might be something to do with the fact that all the boys at my school are so flippin mainstream -.-

Hey there,
Personally I don't see a problem with it! Everyone has different preferences in what they are looking for in a partner.
Don't listen to your sister she obviously has different taste and that's normal were not all the same.
:)
Jess 18/f

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my boyfriends best friend tries to come close to me..he said he likes me, but he behaves very innocent in front of my boyfriend....... my boyfriend trusts him a lot. If I tell my boyfriend I think it would start drama between them & maybe me. Should I tell him?

Hey there,
This guy is being very two faced indeed.
If this is making you uncomfortable then you need to confront your boyfriend about it. You should be able to communicate with one another about things like this. If he loves you he will believe you and have a word to his friend.
alternatively you could speak to the friend and let him no in no uncertain terms that his behaviour is unacceptable and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
bottom line you shouldn't be placed in this situation.Confront the friend first and if he doesn't back off then tell your boyfriend.
Best of luck hope I helped!
much

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I get dicharge but I haven't had my period yet should I be worried?

Hey there :)
No you shouldn't this is completely normal.
This usually happens a few months or weeks before you're due to start you're period.

Jess 18/f

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I am female and 15 years old. I am a very serious dancer and am also a little upset about my body. I know dancers are supposed to be really skinny and i am not. I weigh 119 pounds and want to be 100 or less. I want to kind of become anorexic because it will help me loose weight and i think i will be much happier. I know that becoming anorexic can be dangerous but this is for my career. Do you think that this is a really bad idea?

Hey there,
I understand you want to lose weight quickly but anorexia is NOT the answer.
You are essentially starving all your vital organs to the point where your body begins to feed off itself.
You're bone density lowers which makes you more susceptible to breaks and injuries essentially damaging you're dancing career anyway.
like the last answer said you are slowing down your development.
Anorexia is a serious illness and is not something you should wish upon yourself. People with anorexia battle for years.
You are basically looking for a death sentance.
There are SO many horrific consequences of starving yourself. You become malnourished weak have a lack of energy, your bones begin to protrude,your body grows excess hair just to keep itself warm your organs begin to shut down, your periods can stop and you lower your chances of being able to conceive.
Please I urge you not to do this.
Be sensible and lose weight the healthy natural way. Eat three square meals a day exercise regularly drink plenty of water and eat lots of fruit and veg. You'l be surprised how quick you lose weight and tone up.
Good luck
Much

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so me and my boyfriend lost are virginity to each other only a couple days ago.
everthing is fine, we used protection and stuff. but now we do it without it.. and he pulls it out befor he cums.
how safe is this?

Hey there,
This is THE most unsafe way to have sex. You're pretty much asking to get pregnant. If you are uncomfortable with condoms there are plenty of other contraceptive methods such as the pill. Like the last answer said you're playing with fire.
Be sensible be safe.

Jess 18/f

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I like my best friend a lot and he likes someone else..its breaking my heart and i really need to get over him but i dont know how. I'm just hurting myself by continuing to like him but i dont know how to stop. so please any advice would help..thank you.
im 17.

Hey there,
The best thing to do is to distance yourself from him for a while. It's only going to make things difficult by being around him 24/7 when you are still harboring feelings for him.
Keep busy to keep your mind off him. Hang out with friends listen to music bake go to the mall movies etc. If you find yourself starting to think about him do something to distract yourself. go call a friend or talk to your mom sister dad anyone.
Time is the key. It's a healer. As time goes on the more you train yourself not to think about him the easier it becomes and you slowly but surely start to move on. Before you know it you will have moved on. It's hard but you can do it. Resist the urge to snoop on his facebook or myspace or any other social networking site. It's only going to make things ten times worse.
Good luck and I hope this helps :)
anymore questions feel free to inbox me
much

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what is the chance of a condom breaking

Hey there,
Well it really depends on the make and model of the condom. And also whether it is put on correctly. Make sure they are the right size and fit and NEVER purchase from a vending machine in like a hotel. These condoms are poorly manufactured and almost always fail.
When condoms break, semen can leak out, so the use of vaginal spermicides with condoms can help to increase your pregnancy protection should condom failure occur. Typically, 2-5% of all condoms tear during condom use.
You will lower your chances for condom failure if you have a thorough understanding of proper condom use
If used properly condoms are about 85-90% effective.
If you're worried consider other forms of contraception such as the pill.
hope this helps
much

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What are the ways not to get pregnant when not having safe sex

Hey there.
I agree with adviceman. The only way to protect yourself from pregnancy IS to practice safe sex.
There are a variety of methods available,such as condoms the pill being the most common. Other forms include the marina coil.
You are really playing with fire by not having safe sex. You're asking for trouble as well as opening yourself up to a whole load of nasty STDS and infections.
Be responsible.
Much

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Im a virgin, but i feel as if i want to have sex. sometimes i feel like i want to but then again i feel like im making a mistake. but i want to know how it feels to loose my virginity.

seeking an answer
Thnaks

Hey there.
If you're questioning yourself or having doubts then you probably aren't ready.
Being curious and being ready are two different things.
You need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. And not just because everyone else is or you wanna know what it feels like.
ask yourself the following questions? are you in a relationship?If so do you love him/her ? do you trust him/her? do you feel comfortable and at ease with him/her? are you being pressured?
When the time comes you will know if you're ready. Don't rush into it. So many people do and end up having terrible first experiences of sex.
Waiting isn't the end of the world.
It really depends on your circumstances. If you are in a long term relationship and are ready then I would say go ahead. If not I would hold off. Don't just lose it with some random for the sake of it. It is supposed to be memorable and special it will mean and a whole lot more and feel a whole lot better with someone you love and trust :)
Best of luck and hope I helped
Much

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Well,I have a boyfriend,he has so many friends and hasn't stopped meeting them as well as hanging out with them since we first met,I just felt like giving more importance to the relationship from the very beginning of it,so I started to lose contact with everyone of them,all of a sudden I realized I was completely alone,just my partner and I.So now I'd like to get them back or make more friends I don't know,it's not fair that my bf can still have his friends and I don't,I'm feeling like I was only devoted to him,I don't wanna do that anymore,there are some weekends when he goes to parties or nightclubs along with his friends and I just stay home watching a movie with my cat:(the whole night thinking about my friends and all the things we used to do together back then when I was a single one.

Hey there,
You're right it isn't fair that he has a great circle of friends and your left on your own.
Whats stopping you from going with him?
mixing with his group of friends?getting him to introduce you to some of his friends?
It's not natural that he keeps his girlfriend and friends separate. I mean my boyfriend hangs out with me and my friends all the time and vice versa. Talk to your boyfriend about how your feeling alone and left out. Tell him how much you miss your friends and having a social life. He is bound to understand.
In the meantime why not get back in contact with your old friends?see how they're doing what they are up to? maybe ask to hang out ? talk about old times to break the ice.
apologize for losing contact. say that you didn't mean to come across as the type that forgets all about their friends but you were just so excited about having a new relationship. It happens if they are good friends they will understand.
If that doesn't work or is not an option why not think about taking up a hobby? something that will allow you to meet new people?
have a think about it :)
best of luck and I hoped I helped.
If you have anymore questions feel free to inbox me.
Much

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hi, we've been dating for two years now. my boyfriend is in late 40's. i asked him about whether if he's going to marry me or not and he said he's not going to get married, 'YET' and also he added, ''we're still together and we love each other so you never know'' after that i told him to consider coz there's no point being in a relationship if he's not serious about me and he said, ''yeah yeah, of course i will think about it.'' he is a single father and he was married once when he was in his 20's. so, guys, what is he actually saying? is he not committed to me? thank you all.

Hey there :)
Okay well firstly if he doesn't want to get married it doesn't mean he isn't committed to you. Some people just don't see the necessity of marriage. It doesn't mean he loves you any less.
I know you might feel like if you don't get married the relationship is going no where but that isn't true. If he loves you then isn't that enough?
What you need to do is really think about it. How important is getting married to you?
he has already experienced it and it didn't work out. So it's natural he might not want to go there again as is the case with many people.
If marriage is something that is deeply important to you in a relationship and something you want to experience in life, then you need to sit your boyfriend down and ask him to tell you out straight where he stands and his views on marriage.
There is no point in being in a relationship where you both want different things. It will end up meaning that one of you will have to settle and neither of you will be truly happy.
So have a heart to heart.
assess how much it means to you.
Best of luck hope I helped.
Much

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I'm a 13 year old girl. I like this guy from school. At first we started off real close friends and then I told him that I liked him. He said he only liked me as a friend and began avoiding me from then on. He began seeing another girl and I'm really confused and hurt. After school he avoids me as well. We live on the same street and every time when he's outside and sees me playing basketball he'd go back home and pull down the curtains. And also at school, when I'm sitting in the cafeteria near where he and his mates are sitting, they'd go and find another spot. I really like him, and I suppose he just thinks I'm being stupid.
Any advice available?

Hey there :)
Well unfortunately if he is going to act like that then he isn't really worth your time is he?
like the other answers said he is being completely immature. You were brave and took a risk and put yourself out there. It may not have paid off this time but don't lose heart. Pick yourself up and move on. There will be plenty of other guys ones who will appreciate you for you. This guy isn't worth your time or your energy. it's his loss.
Focus your energy on other things. Hobbies and what not. Spend more time with your friends etc. Don't even give this guy the time of day. He ignores you?Ignore him back.
Keep busy and in time you will forget all about him :) and in the meantime may even meet another guy.
Good luck and Much

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We as a couple got involved in hugging, kissing, later just tried to touch her vagina from over her clothes itself (Dress + Undergarments)also i was in my full clothing. It lasted for a minute or two not more then that and no actual physical contact. Also no precum or semen on hand, fingers. Can she still get pregnant? Please answer

Hey there,
No. The only way a girl can get pregnant is from penetrative unprotected sex in which the male ejaculates into the vagina.
Seeing as your penis was no where in contact with her she is not pregnant.

Jess 18/f

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I am 12/F. How do i get this guy to like me? There is this really nice guy who i really like. He is actually one of my close friends but he likes someone else and there is a chnace she might like him back. She is prettier than I am and cooler, but i really like him.

Hey there,
If you want a guy to like you the best advice I can give you is to just be yourself.
Don't try to hard and don't alter your personality for anyone. Guys can see through that anyway.
Don't compare yourself to the other girl I am sure you are equally as pretty and as cool.
get to know the guy more ask him to hang out maybe to the movies or the mall or something.
Don't try too hard to get his attention just be friendly and relaxed. Smile and just talk to him.
you never know if you hang out more he might start to like you also. But if he really has feelings for this other girl unfortunately that is something you're going to have to accept. Its immensely hard but sometimes that's the way life is. You have to step aside no matter how much it hurts.
There will be plenty of other guys trust me. Ones who will see how fantastic you are. You are only twelve you have years ahead of you. I know right now he may seem like the only guy in the world but he's not.
good luck and much

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I went to vist my boyfriend February 20. I had sex with him. Two weeks after I had my peroid. I have nit had my period in March what could be the reason. can i be prgnent

Hey there,
If you had protected sex then had your period its unlikely that you are pregnant.
Sometimes its completely normal to just skip a month.
It happens to me all the time. The more you stress however the later your period will be.
If you are worried take a test or visit the doctor its the only way to know for sure.
However it could also be a number of other reasons such as stress.
Good luck
much

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what kind of birth contrl makes your boobs grow big??

Hey there,
This really depends on the type of birth control.
Not all of them have this desired affect. However I did notice mine grew a bit when I was taking Mercilon. A lot of my friends found the same.
it's worth doing some research on.
hope this helps.
much

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I have an 18year old bro,I'm a little older than he,so basically my biggest cocern is that he has no clue about what he's going to do with his life,he's not sure whether to carry on studying or getting a job,he's just so lost,I don't know how to help him because to make matters even worse,he's always in a bad mood,so it's really hard to everynoe of us,I mean my family and I to talk to him,thanks!ps( it'd be great to read 18 or 17year old people,thanks in advance!)

Hey there I'm 18/f myself.
Okay let me start by saying this is not uncommon. Many teenagers this age have noo idea what they want to do. It's an awkward age at best with all these choices regarding the future and careers etc so its natural it can be very stressful,hence your brothers bad moods.
I myself decided on a year out after finishing school as I wasn't quite sure where I was going. I took the year to look at my life and decide what are my interests what do I think I will be good at etc. I did a lot of research into different college courses and eventually I found what I think will be right for me. I start college in septemeber.
Maybe your brother could do the same?
Take a year to work..decide if its for him or if he would ultimately like to go to college?take the time to do a little research in between. Check out different colleges etc.
try sit down and talk to him. Talk about his interests what he could potentially see himself doing.
way up the pros and cons of working or going to college.
Would he be happy working minimum wage or does he want to strive for more?
Maybe go visit a guidance counselor (as I did) they can be very helpful and do lots of different tests to determine what career would be best for you.
Maybe talk to people in different professions he might be interested in about what their job entails and what its like. He must have some interest!
reassure him that its natural to feel this way.
That's really all the advice I have to offer. I hope it helps in some way! good luck to your brother.
Much

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im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m

We've been together for nearly a year, and we love each other alot. i honestly think hes my soulmate and we can both picture our future together perfectly... except now im not so sure anymore.
im a very very insecure person. i lost my virginity to him and only him and he had several gf's and fwb in the past.
Hes still best friends with one of his old FWB and im not gonna lie, im worried about it.
i told him my concerns and he understood and everything... but now i cant sleep because i was thinking about something he said.
he told me that he still thinks about having sex with her and other girls. Even though he said he would never actually do it, i think its bad enough he even thinks about other girls that way.
maybe im just crazy because im traditional and the thought of having sex with anyone else but my partner just doesnt cross my mind. i only want to have sex with him.
yet now im losing sleep because i cant help but think about 'am i not good enough' 'maybe im not the one for him' 'maybe he should still be single' because he thinks about having sex with other girls.
and i honestly dont know what to do or say or how to bring it up (should i bring it up at all)
Is there something wrong with me and i should just accept that he thinks of other women? even though i think if you truly love someone you would only think of sex with them.
i seriously have not wanted anyone else sexually so why cant he be the same?
i just dont know what to do.

Hey there,
okay firstly let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with you.
unfortunately this is the way a lot of men think. unlike us they don't see the harm in saying oh that girls hot or I would totally have sex with that girl .
let me ask you something do you trust your boyfriend?
do you believe him when he says he would never actually be with another girl?
I know it hurts that he could even think about it but be confident in yourself. he is with you and has sex with you and only you.
Talk to him again about your insecurities. explain your fears and your way of thinking.
you are more than good enough and if you weren't he wouldn't be with you in the first place.
does he constantly talk about other women in front of you?because if he does then that's not okay.
Ask him how would he feel if you were to talk about being with other men.
thinking of the opposite sex while in a relationship a little is healthy and normal. no matter how much you love someone unfortunately the mind wanders. its natural we are all only human.
remind yourself about your good qualities and why your boyfriend loves you.
try not to lose too much sleep over it. I know its easier said than done but honestly so many men think the same.
I hope this helps if you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me
much

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