"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144099
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so i was pregnant and had a miscarriage.. im pregnant again and im so confused how this happened again the first i can see because my partner and i were foolish and didnt use protection but ever since then i make sure we do and its been working well.. im about 98% sure im pregnant again because my period is late and im having sign of being pregnant i havent taken a test yet but im positive i am.. im taking one in a couple days.. but anyways the first time i got pregnant was with a diffrent guy ah my ex we split up after we found out about the miscarriage it was just to painful and awkward but ive been dating this guy for about 5 months.. and im sooo scared because this guy is immature a lot of the time and wouldnt be able to support me and he wouldnt be there and "he wants a life" .. thats like what he told me and im scared because if i raise this child on my own .. im not going to be able to i dont know what to do my mom thinks i should get an abortion im kinda leaning to that but then again i dont know if i could kill my own baby.. it seems so wrong to me but its life would be so messed up considering the situations right now.. someone suggested adoption to me.. i wouldnt be able to do that i dont think anyone in my family or friends would be supportive and i just couldnt handle that.. what should i do?? please help me! any advice on anything is more then good thank you!
im 16/f boyfriends 16 also (link)
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I really, truly understand your fears about being pregnant; however, you really need to realize that this is your fault and that you should have been more educated than you were. You made adult decisions and now it's time to deal with the adult consequences that have trailed behind it.
First off, no birth control method is completely effective. This means there is always a chance in the condom/pill/shot/etc. will fail and a child will be conceived. The pill is rarely ever taken "perfectly" meaning that, on average, it's only about 92% effective with regular usage. This means that in every 100 women that are birth control users, 8 will become pregnant from a contraceptive failing. Now that you know that, it's a little more common and quite scary, right?
Secondly, you really need to figure out why you feel you should have sex with your partners when you can't trust them to be adult. If you feel the person cannot be supportive and helpful during a major decision then you really shouldn't be risking something like this with them. Honestly, nobody should have sex with someone they cannot completely lean on for help. In short, sex makes babies and this has never been surprising. Take this as a lesson and learn to be pickier about your partners. I know I would hate being in a situation where I knew my partner wasn't going to be there for me.
Even though your partner will not be supportive, you will still be able to raise the child if you so choose. Many people are single parents now and are able to make it through life decently.
Now, I definately do not think abortion is right for you. You are young and I really don't want to see you screw up your entire life because you felt a baby was going to cause you issues. The problem should be in finding the right ways to raise your child than trying to find a way to get out of the mess you've put yourself in.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Yes, that is a real baby, really feeling pain and maybe even fear during such a procedure. You can see that it was fully aware that it was being harmed and was not oblivious to the foreign object as many people would like you to believe.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If both of your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
Please give your child the best life you are able to. It's so stupid and unreasonable for you to end a life because you were too scared about your own. You CAN find a way to let this baby live. Don't let others pressure you to murder an innocent life because they are afraid for you. Many women go through this same battle every day and are able to raise a child successfully.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things.
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Mk. Well I'm getting my hips pirced thursday.
I was told that Microdermals are better
then surface pircings .. but if you ever
wanted them out.. you would have to get them
cut out of your skin. I also herd that hip pircings are high in rejection! I'm terrifed of my hips rejecting the pircing. Should I get
a surface of microderaml.. How can I prevent rejection!?
Please answer quick i only have two days to decide!
Thanks alot. (link)
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First off, I'd like to apologize for this answer being a little later than you hoped. I understand that you may or may not have already gone through with this piercing; however, I'd like to inform you about some things on piercings for the future.
A really big concern of mine is the possibility of accidentally ripping one of the surface piercings out from the skin during the night. Humans tend to move a bit in their sleep (even if you're not aware of it) so you can't really force yourself not to. Piercings are easily caught on fabric and such so you should really take time to decide if you can handle sleeping odd first off. The more pressure you put on the piercings, the worse they will feel and the quicker they will reject (they may also become infected/inflamed easier as well).
You also should be aware of the scarring you will experience from the piercing. Surface piercings will never truly heal no matter what you do, and your body will always reject them--some bodies reject quicker than others. If you heal quickly then don't expect the piercing to last very long at all before becoming incredibly itchy, red, and puffy.
The lengthen the time you are able to wear the piercing you must keep it rinsed off with saline solution twice daily and put little to no pressure on the piercing area. There isn't a way to stop rejection--it is what your body naturally does to foreign objects.
When your body rejects a piercing, what happens is rather frightening. The skin that is around the piercing literally sacrifices itself and dies off to expel what is underneath. This being said, some scars can be a lot more noticeable than others.
In my experience, there isn't really a good way to reduce the scarring either so you need to decide if you can deal with the scars for a long period of time. I had a surface piercing done years ago and the scar is still very noticeable and itches periodically.
Also, keep in mind that you will need to purchase some saline solution to put on the piercings each day to keep down possible infection if you're going to try to keep it for an extended period. Try your best not to mess with them and cause more damage to the area. The more you mess with the piercing, the quicker it will reject and the higher the possibility of infection. Please make sure you've researched this entirely so that no surprises come up that you were unaware of and unequipped to deal with.
I also recommend asking your piercer to do the piercing with surface bars instead of captive rings. Rings tend to be rejected quicker, leave more scarring, and have more likelihood of being accidentally torn from the flesh. You can get slave rings attached to the surface bars if you want something on the ends.
In regards to microdermals, they are easier to keep in than an actual surface piercing. You are correct in saying removal is a bit tricky and may leave nasty scars; however, if you plan to keep the piercing as a permanent part of your body then it doesn't sound like a bit deal. In addition, they may be a little more costly than regular surface piercing so you should check to see if your budget would allow it.
I hope all goes well and you get yourself informed enough to help reduce some of the scarring/infection risks.
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whats the name of that song where monica strips for chandler because she didnt let him have a bachelor party?
REMEMBER ?? from Friends?
and then her show gets stuck lol. (link)
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Actually it's called Let Me Blow Ya Mind by Eve (featuring Gwen Stefani).
The lyrics are:
[Eve]
Uh, uh, uh, huh
Yo, yo
Drop your glasses, shake your asses
Face screwed up like you having hot flashes
Which one, pick one, this one, classic
Red from blonde, yeah bitch I'm drastic
Why this, why that, lips stop askin
Listen to me baby, relax and start passin
Expressway, hair back, weavin through the traffic
This one strong should be labeled as a hazard
Some of y'all niggas hot, sike I'm gassin
Clowns I spot em and I can't stop laughin
Easy come, easy go, E-V gon' be lastin
Jealousy, let it go, results could be tragic
Some of y'all aint writin well, too concerned with fashion
None of you aint gizell, cat walk and imagine
Alotta y'all Hollywood, drama, passed it
Cut bitch, camera off, real shit, blast it
[CHORUS: Gwen Stefani]
And if I had to give you up
It's only been a year
Now I got my foot through the door
And I aint goin nowhere
It took awhile to get me in
And I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
[Eve]
They wanna bank up, crank up, makes me dizzy(?)
Shank up, haters wanna come after me
You aint a ganster, prankster, too much to eat
Snakes in my path wanna smile up at me
Now while you grittin your teeth
Frustration baby you gotta breathe
Take alot more that you to get rid of me
You see I do what they can't do, I just do me
Aint no stress when it comes to stage, get what you see
Meet me in the lab, pen and pad, don't believe
Huh, sixteens mine, create my own lines
Love for my wordplay that's hard to find
Sophomore, I aint scared, one of a kind
All I do is contemplate ways to make your fans mine
Eyes bloodshot, stressin, chills up your spine
Huh, sick to your stomach wishin I wrote your lines
[CHORUS]
[Eve]
Let your bones crack
Your back pop, I can't stop
Excitement, glock shots from your stash box
Fuck it, thugged out, I respect the cash route
Locked down, blastin, sets while I mash out
Yeah nigga, mash out, D-R-E
Back track, think back, E-V-E
Do you like that (ooooh), you got to I know you
Had you in a trance first glance from the floor too
Don't believe I'll show you, take you with me
Turn you on, pension gone, give you relief
Put your trust in a bomb when you listen to me
'Dancin much, get it all? now I'm complete, uh huh
Still stallion, brick house, pile it on
Ryde or Die, bitch, double R, can't crawl
Beware, cuz I crush anything I land on
Me here, aint no mistake nigga it was planned on
[CHORUS]
...according to:
http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Eve/Let-Me-Blow-Ya-Mind.html
And here is the YouTube link to the music video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LTWWkGnCYIE
As another note, to ensure it is the right song after all, here is a link to the part of the show you're actually inquiring about:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CPFYhwhDC4o
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so, i'm going camping for a music festival on wednesday. i'm supposed to start my period that friday. we leave on sunday. i'm supposed to start my period on friday- yeah, it sucks. there will be a limited amount of showers, and i didn't plan on taking more than two while i was there because you have to wait for hours and it's just a hassle (it sounds gross to only shower once or twice for five days, but thats what everyone else does too).
anyone have any advice for keeping myself clean/what i should do? they only have port-a-potties and things like that, too, by the way. i don't like wearing tampons, but i will if i have to. any help is appreciated! (link)
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A really good solution to being able to wear pads is to bring a container devoted to your, well, trash. Many women who go camping in groups bring along a disposable container to store used products in while away from home. It is suggested to use some sort of bottle so that you can secure the lid on tightly to prevent odor seeping out into clothing and such.
Some women carry more than one bottle and dispose them in trash receptacles here and there without anyone ever knowing they had hidden their menstrual product in them. This being said, you may want to bring a few bottles of your choice along with you to dispose of them here and there when they reach full capacity.
I also suggest that you purchase some wipes to wipe your outer vaginal area with while on your period. It's important not to wipe inside of the vagina but they are very good for wiping excess blood off of the outer bits. You can purchase flushable ones like Kleenex Cottonelle, Charmin Fresh Mates, and even Scott Moist Wipes. The Wal-mart off-brand kind is fairly good and has a pleasant odor to them. You can definately add these into a bottle when disposing of your pads as they do not take up much room.
It is always very good to shower at least once a day while on your period to lower the chances of smelling so try to take more than the desired two during the trip if possible. It may be helpful to try for the showers at nighttime when others are preparing for bed or very early while others are still asleep.
Another thing you should definately remind yourself of is the changing of your pad. Since you won't be showering as much as usual and will probably be sweating, try your very best to up your changing of the used product. Bring extra pads to change to. The less time the blood sits on your body, the less time it has to smell worse.
Remember to never leave your used menstrual products in the woods or anything in case you absolutely must change in such an environment. It causes wildlife to come closer to the camp area, odors to be spread into the camp area, and increases the likelihood of someone accidentally running across it (stepping on it).
I am also not a big fan of tampons at all so I surely advise you to use the pads you typically use. Tampons do really bad things to a woman's body. I definately would stay clear of them especially that you won't be able to bathe properly for a few days. I would suggest avoiding perfumed pads though because of the blood and sweat odors mixing with it.
I hope your camping trip goes well and you enjoy the music festival!
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can anyone go look at my story, and tell me if the profile looks good, if the character pictures are good, if i need to add anyones picture and if you like the prologue and chapter one? should i add anything? suggestions please? thankksss!
http://www.buddy4u.com/view/?u=who+%5Bshot%5D+%60you+x (link)
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Personally, I really do not like your profile. The tiny font and layout really makes it confusing. It really just isn't appealing to the eyes of the reader.
I use Firefox and actually could not figure out where your chapters were until I opened IE and saw the layout in a totally different form. From there, I read every little thing and saw finally in the subpages area that you had listed the links. This being said, it might be better to find a different layout or to make one box for the actual story so it isn't as, well, odd.
As for the photos, I think the idea is terrific and you found some good ones (I especially like Mrs. Holton); however, you may want to request the usage of the photos from the owners if you have not. I'm not entirely sure if anything bad could happen but they may be upset that you are using their faces as characters in a story you've created. Nonetheless, I think it was a neat idea to show the characters to the reader.
The prologue really isn't bad at all for the start. I really enjoyed this line:
"Mike, and I were sitting at the table having a side conversation away from my sister, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table, sidekick in hand, texting away, and completely oblivious to the world around her."
as I could see someone completely engulfed in text-chatting at a table in a cafe. The more detail you give, the clearer the picture I could get. You could have even added something like a "shiny red table" or something so the reader could visualize the scenery. You could even age your sister by saying "younger" or "older" if you felt it would be helpful for the reader to see. Oh, and just as a helpful note, there shouldn't be a comma after the first name in the first line.
Anyway, the prologue was a good way to start it out with, I believe; however, I felt completely bored and lost in the, extremely short, first chapter. I also really disliked this line:
"All that was left was a box of Captain Crunch that was probably a billion years old, and some graham crackers."
I really dislike the "billion years old" remark because it's entirely too unbelievable. Although, It may have sounded better to say that it had enough dust on it to be thought of as a billion years old. I know the reader is aware that it really isn't a billion years old, but it reads very childish. You may have even said that there was also stale graham crackers to add age to them for your readers.
I also thought that it might sound better to say this, just to add in some more detail:
"I turned over to glance at the clock on my nightstand. It clearly showed 12:03pm. "Yes," I thought, "it's finally Saturday!" I rolled out of bed and stumbled over to the mirror. I didn't look like a drowned rat like usual so I decided to walk downstairs and make myself some breakfast, or lunch, I should say."
Again, the more description you can give, the more the reader can relate and visualize what's going on. You can add so many things into it to have the reader put more thought into placing the person in the scene. I think you have a really great basis that should be expanded upon if you have the time.
I hope your story finishes out well and many people thoroughly enjoy it. :)
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When is the right time to have sex?? (link)
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This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.
When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and it's best to be completely prepared. A parent-to-be needs to make major decisions while being stable enough to handle the worst. You should be able to answer some questions like:
1. What if the baby has a defect--physical and/or mental?
2. What if I lose my current job? How will I support myself and another being?
3. Am I in a stable environment? Will I have a safe place to come home to with my child?
4. Who would tend to my child while I work to support the family? Who can I trust this well?
5. If I am a woman, can I my body handle being depleted of vital nutrients? Am I in good health? OR--Is my partner in good health? Can my partner's body handle carrying a child to full-term safely?
6. In a few years, will I be able to start answering a child's question about life, sex, drugs, and even responsibility? How would I handle this?
7. If my partner decides to abandon me, becomes extremely ill, or passes away will I be able to cope and remain stable for the sake of the child in question?
Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.
Personally, I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers.
When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.
You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.
Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.
To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly.
I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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Okay so saturday I got my tounge pirced, it
didn't hurt at all. But the next day it did.
I was wondering how long should I wait before
I can eat real food again, and how long will it
be swollen for !? Please hurry I'm dying over here lmaoo (link)
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If you treat your piercing properly then you will be eating solid foods in no time with little to no trouble. The problem is in that you may be cleansing the piercing too much, thus prolonging the sore feeling.
The tongue is very muscular and it is said that it never completely heals because of the constant movement. I suppose it makes sense since it sheds a lot of cells and the metal bar constantly rubbing against it would easily tear bits. Any way it is, if you're going to leave the piercing in for awhile then you need to take care of it properly.
The first thing you should be doing is rinsing with water or saline after meals thoroughly. It is not recommended to use mouthwashes because they contain alcohol that will kill off the healing cells at the wound. All you need to do is rinse away the gunk you put into your mouth--this means rinsing after eating and drinking.
You should continue brushing your teeth regularly but do not brush your tongue. The bristles can be very damaging to the healing area. It is also best if you stick with a non-fluoride containing toothpaste for health reasons.
Speaking of drinking, you should also be avoiding alcoholic beverages for four weeks during the healing process. Alcohol is not a good thing with this and may discolor your tongue (around the wound, of course) to a whitish looking foam (which isn't foam because it is part of your tongue; however, it does look that way). You should also avoid smoking during this time as it prolongs the healing process and damages the oxygenated cells that are keeping the area alive.
Since your tongue may swell during the night, as the blood flow to your tongue is increased with the level of your head dropping, you may want to take an aspirin for the swelling and discomfort. Many people take one before bed and one upon waking so that they are comfortable.
When I had my tongue pierced, it took about four or five days for it to feel alright enough to chew properly; although, I did eat solid foods right away.
The swelling will decrease decently in about a week to a week and a half but be aware that your body has not completely healed. A tongue piercing will take about an average of four weeks to heal enough to be considered safe so continue with the rinsing for that entire period.
I also want to note that you can eat solid foods whenever you feel comfortable. Solid foods will not harm the area as long as you remember to rinse very well after. It may be wise to take an aspirin before eating.
If it is still too uncomfortable to chew properly at this point then you should tear your food into small bites and place them in the sides of your mouth and chew slowly, avoiding your tongue. It is very important that you get the proper amount of nutrients so you can heal quickly so try your best to continue eating regularly.
Take your time and chew slowly and soon you'll get the hang of it. You will be sore for a few days but you still need nourishment.
I wish you well and I hope you heal properly. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me :)
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Can u contract any STDs through fingering?? Like when a guy fingers you in the vagina (3rd base)??
18/f (link)
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It is very common for tiny tears to occur on the vaginal wall when being fingered because it is so fragile and fingernails are pretty rough. This being said, it's possible to contract various STD/STIs from an encounter of this nature. It really isn't as "unlikely" as others have said either so please don't let their ignorance sway you into believing you're safe.
Among the risks, herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2) and genital warts (HPV) are probably the most likely. I know HPV can live under the fingernails and herpes is so easily spread that many people with coldsores even end up having sores on their fingertips at some point. (Just as a side-note, if you had the Gardasil vaccination it does not mean you cannot get other strains of HPV. The vaccine only helps guard against four strains while there are over a hundred.)
Along with the STD issues you have to think of the dirt and grime many people have on their fingertips and under their nails. That coupled with the natural small tears in the vagina means an increased risk of yeast and bacterial infections. Yeast infections are mainly just bothersome while bacterial infections can lead to some serious complications later in life.
In short, yes, you can definately contract STDs and STIs through this activity. When it comes to sexual encounters, you are always putting yourself at risk in some way if you think of it. You always should weigh the consequences of possible actions before jumping into things to further prepare yourself in case disaster arises.
I wish you well and I hope I've helped clear some things up for you. If you have any further questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me :)
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what should i say when a guy ask whats the farest ive gone with a guy (link)
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You should always be truthful when someone asks you questions; however, sometimes things are private and you may not want to reveal the truth about your past without being in a serious relationship with someone.
The true question is what sort of guy are you really after.
If you tell a guy you've gone "all the way" then he will expect you to be easy and may want to inquire about doing sexual activities with him. It really isn't good to give guys the impression that you are easy simply because that alone shows a lack of self-respect.
If you tell a guy that you haven't done anything with a guy (or very little) and he becomes disinterested in you then it tells a lot about what he was really after. It is possible that a guy may become much more interested you at this point but then you must weed out the creeps from the sweethearts.
Some guys are creeps and want to deflower as many women as possible. Usually these guys have a number of girls in their history and are only interested in finding out how sexual you are. Sometimes they like a challenge and look for virgin girls so they can later brag about how they degraded another woman.
It is possible that a guy is truly after a virgin girl to marry, in which case you will be able to tell probably. These guys probably won't seem as sleezy as others and are interested in pressuring you about sex. They simply want to know if you are pure or not so they know if they should pursue you as a long-term partner or keep the relationship on a friend basis. These guys probably don't have any past with sexual encounters and are simply looking for a woman that is equal to them.
The most appropriate thing to do is to not engage in conversation with people only interested in knowing your sexual history unless it is in a deep discussion with a possible long-term partner. It is very rude for a male to ask a female about sexual history anyway if they aren't pursuing the woman as a long-term partner.
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Iam 19 years old and when i was 18 i had oral sex voluntarily with a 28 year old man who told one of my friends that he had slept with 40 or 50 different people and i didn't think to ask how many people had slept with in the past before is it possible for me to get an std through oral sex? I also want to know if iam still a virgin please email me as soon as possible becouse i really need to know if i need to get checked this is between life and death please email me asap!This was my first time doing anything sexual with anybody and now i reqret it. (link)
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Oral sex IS sex and you can get just as many STDs from that as you can having vaginal intercourse. You are definately at risk.
Serious risks include:
1. Herpes is probably the biggest STD risk during oral sex. Both strains of herpes can live in the mouth or the genitals, and particularly during outbreaks (cold sores, herpes lesions) can be passed from one place to the other. More than 50% of a random group of people will have antibodies to the virus (indicating some level of infection). Genital herpes is complicated and uncomfortable. Herpes can be passed on even if no sores are present.
2. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect your throat, showing strep like symptoms. These can also infect the eye; eye infections can have serious consequences. Roughly, 80% of women who have chlamydia have no symptoms and it can prevent them from ever having children.
3. HIV can be passed through unprotected oral sex. The infected semen/precum or vaginal fluid must enter the body through a cut or sore in the mouth or esophagus. You may not even be aware you have a cut in your mouth or throat. Some people take up to 10 years to show that they have contracted HIV/AIDS.
4. HPV can be passed during oral sex. HPV has been found on vocal chords. There is no test to find out if a man has HPV and men usually show no symptoms.
5. Syphilis can be passed similar to HIV. Signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases so some people go a long time without knowing they have it. Mothers can pass this onto their babies without knowing it.
6. Hepatitis A is also a risk, but usually only oral-anal contact. Hep A is not a chronic condition like Hep B and C, but can make a person quite sick several weeks.
In short, you have put yourself at a huge risk for an STD transmission. It is in your best interest to make a doctor's appointment as soon as you can to get some blood tests done to ensure your health. You really need to get yourself tested.
Sometimes things don't show up for a long, long time so just because you may have not had any symptoms of the above does not mean you can rule them out as possibilities.
When you make your appointment you may want to list the above to request to be tested for. Sometimes doctor's don't test for "everything" so you need to make sure those things are listed.
Next time you should make better judgments when it comes to your body. Your body is special and you shouldn't put yourself in such risky situations. You are worth more than a night of fun in exchange for a lifetime of pain (mentally or physically).
Please get yourself tested. I hope you are in good health and you have gained much knowledge from this experience. If you have any further questions please feel free to ask me :)
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thank you for the very detailed advice. i might have overlooked it, but i am still confused. sometimes when i am sick, i may get a cold sore (i do take medicine to stop it), and i know it stays with me for life. I know it might now come for years etc., but say on an average day when im not sick, nor have a cold sore or fever blister, can i still give the guy genital herpes. (link)
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I understand your confusion about herpes. I will try to answer you clearly.
When a person contracts HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus actually lives in the body for the rest of the person's life. There is absolutely no cure.
Because the virus sleeps sometimes, it is unknown when you will have an outbreak. Sometimes people have a few symptoms of an outbreak (the area can be sore, itchy, tingly, etc.) and sometimes people have no idea that they are about to experience an outbreak.
Outbreak or not, your body constantly is shedding skin cells all over--including your lips and genitalia. Sometimes the virus will be shed out of these areas (HSV-1 usually from the lips, HSV-2 usually from the genitals). This being said, you never know when your body is shedding some of the infected cells. Nobody can tell when they are shedding the skin cells because it is so natural your body does not react to it. There will be no "signs" to shedding the cells, you see.
When the skin cells are being shed, this is when the virus is contagious. It is true that they are shed a lot more during an outbreak (which is why it's VERY important to never engage in sexual activity during this time). In short, you are always shedding a virus that is highly contagious--sometimes more than others.
This being said, even if you're not ill you can definately pass the virus along to another person. This is why it is very important to inform sexual partners of any kind about your condition so that they are aware of the possible consequences. There is no guarantee that you will pass it on just as there is no guarantee that you won't pass it along.
Now, it is very possible that you can transfer your herpes onto the genitals of a male or female if giving oral. Your HSV-1 (oral herpes) can definately be contracted on their genitals; however, because it is still the HSV-1 strain it is not considered genital herpes even though it would occur on the genitals. Just as some people have contracted HSV-2 (genital herpes) on their mouths, the two strains are different and cannot morph into each other.
Condoms can lessen your risks of infecting someone but are not considered a preventative. Also, you can spread your oral herpes onto other areas of your body so it's very important that you wash your hands before and after touching the sore (which you should do as little as possible anyway).
I hope I've cleared up some things for you. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask me.
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I am dealing with a huge weigh on my shoulders. Last year I went through the hardest time of my life. I had been with my ex-boyfriend on and off for almost a year and a half. He moved away for school but we hook up when he would come home. I ended up pregnant and he made me feel like there was no way to keep the baby. I was in a horrible state with my hormones running wild and all the added stress of school. I was 2 months away from receiving degree. But I knew it was going against everything I believe in.
I feel totally depressed. Its been a year and I still have the pregnancy weight, I feel totally guilty for what I did. It kills me inside to think about what I did. I have no one to talk to because its such a sensitive issue. My friends haven't been through this and I dont want to dwell my issues on them. I lost all my confidence i feel fat and ugly because of what I did. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel totally alone :*( (link)
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I completely understand how hurt you must feel inside because of the thing you did to another life-form.
If I were in this position, I would take the negative feelings you are having and put them toward education other women about what abortion has done to your body. It sounds like you have been very run down because of the guilt and you really do need to express this. I may even suggest a good therapist to help you work out these emotions.
I think that this is a wonderful site to start on for you. Gather some information on the negative aspects of abortion and educate the younger generations here about it. I know you don't want others to suffer and go through what you have been doing and this may help to fill the void you are experiencing. In my eyes, it's probably the best you can do for the life you ended--I mean, to make sure others won't end because of peer pressure and ignorance.
Here is a site that you may be able to contribute to:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Learn your lesson from what you did and know that if you feel you have put yourself in such a situation again, adoption is ALWAYS an option. Let others know that they are not trapped in the situation as you must have felt.
In regards to educating others about the effects of abortion on you, I have answered a few abortion questions on this site and here is a link to one of my answers:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537164
You are more than welcome to reword my writing and add in your own experience on other questions if you see fit. The links may be of use to you as well so you may want to check them out.
Please put your energy and time to good use. You know what you did was wrong, so try to spread that knowledge onto young, fragile minds that don't know any better. Keeping yourself occupied by helping others in this sort of situation may be more helpful to you than you think.
I hope all goes well for you and you find out that you are not alone and that you can help so many young women around the world by just your one experience. Spread your knowledge!
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okay so ever since i was little i would get cold sores, herpes simplex 1. i learned in class that 80% of people get them. But, i was just wondering, if i were to perform oral sex (when i did not have an outbreak) could i still give it to the guy on his genitals? (link)
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Cold sores and fever blisters (which are all herpes simplex 1, commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.
If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with someone you can spread it. It is easily spread to other parts of the body (including fingers, eyes, breasts, nostrils, a d genitals). Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.
You do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer it to another person or animal (such as your dog licking your lips). It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can spread it to others even when it looks like you don't have anything at all.
If you have sexual relations with the guy you can transmit herpes. If you give him oral sex, there are good chances that he can contract oral herpes onto his genitals. After that, he can pass that onto your genitals as well.
You can EASILY spread it all over yourself so it's important to keep your hands washed even not during an outbreak.
You are correct in saying that herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
Although it is very common, it is still very serious and you should take every precaution possible to prevent spreading it onto your partners. Since you are completely aware that you have oral herpes (HSV-1), you can actually be sued by a sexual partner (current or passed) if you do not inform them before sexual relations that you have herpes and can pass it on. Now, THAT is how serious this is!
I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years.
There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long thing people live with. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. The medications sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death. Condoms are not completely effective on prevent transmission either so please do not conclude that you can rely on them. NEVER have oral sex when you feel you have an outbreak starting or are currently having one. 15 days prior and after the outbreak you are highly contagious--though, again, you can spread it at any time.
It may be best to speak to your doctor about helping to suppress outbreaks if you feel they are bothersome anyway.
I hope I've cleared up some things for you and answered your question clearly. If you have any more questions regarding this matter please feel free to ask me :)
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ok...
so me and my boyfriend finally did it like 2 weeks ago. he only went in once and he had a condom on. but i am late on my period. one of my friends said it was cuz he popped my cherry. and others say i might be pregnant. which one is more likly?? (link)
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First off, your friends are very confused as to what your hymen is apparently. In short, it doesn't matter if you bleed when your hymen is broken or not--your period is not affected by such. A lot of women experience late periods after losing their virginity because they begin to stress over a possible pregnancy, thus delaying the period a few days.
I'm very concerned that you're not knowledgeable of your own body and how things work so I really feel I should add in some details to help you in the future. It is really in your best interest to educate yourself as much as possible about sex (and everything that sex involves) so that you're more prepared for the many possibilities.
The hymen (or "cherry" as you are referring to it as) usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without being stretched.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.
The blood that comes out of your body during your menstruation is actually the lining of your uterus being expelled because of an unfertilized egg. Your body does this, in short, to rid itself of the waste (egg that can no longer be used). Losing your virginity has nothing to do with this part really and you should still be experiencing your regular cycle (maybe a few days off because of the stress of worry).
Engaging in sex means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant since NO contraceptive is 100% effective and there is no such thing as perfect use because nobody is perfect. Obviously, you're completely aware of this fact since you are concerned over a possible pregnancy. It also puts you in a very vulnerable state for years to come.
The media is telling younger and younger generations that sexual activity makes them famous, popular, attractive, wealthy, well-liked, and feel-good. This is not true at all and if you and your partner aren't educated enough about sexual activity then it's pretty much a waste of time and can leave you with emotional insecurities.
Having sexual relations is a major thing. It puts you in a very vulnerable state. You are risking STD/STI transmission and possibly pregnancy along with emotional, physical, and mental hang-ups to develop. If something bad goes wrong then you're stuck with that feeling for your next sexual encounters.
Just because your hormones and the media are telling you to do it, it doesn't mean it's right and acceptable. If something bad happens, things get out of hand, or you catch something from the activity you cannot magically pretend it didn't happen. We should make it a special point to choose careful who we give it to.
It takes only one sperm to fertilize your one egg. They are designed to do everything possible to ensure reproduction. Your body also does just about everything it can do to make sure the sperm can successfully fulfill their duty. Because of this, you are fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes).
Then there is always the risk of pregnancy. No matter what birth control method you use (even if you use two) it isn't going to be 100% effective on preventing pregnancy and STD/STI transmission. A baby takes a lot from a woman's body during pregnancy and if your body isn't mature enough to handle it, it can really be rough. In addition, if you don't have good support from your partner then you're left holding all of the bags. You'll have to figure out what to do with the baby, decide if you can raise it and how, and give up any future goals you have so that you can focus on the child. A baby takes 100% of your time, energy, money, and emotional support 100% of the time.
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
Here are some serious facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you completely infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. This means that many mothers pass on things to their unborn babies. I'm sure none of us would like to find out 20 years from now that we had contracted HIV/AIDs and that our baby has it too now because we passed it along.
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently that you've be really surprised at:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
..and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos). It's important that you check these photos out so that you know what STDs can do to a person's body, just in case you experience problems in this area:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. You're, most likely, young and should be enjoying your youth rather than trying to make major life-altering decisions. There are plenty of things to do that you can be having fun at that doesn't mean risking your health and emotional state. Obviously you're aware that you're not ready for the responsibilities of having a child so please reconsider the activities you have been engaging in.
I know what it all comes down to is that it's your life, your body, your decision, and possibly even your mistake. I am really concerned for your well-being though. It is best to keep yourself informed and well-educated. Please sit down with your partner and discuss the possible outcomes of your sexual activities together. You may also find it helpful to view the above sites with him so that you're sure he is just as informed as you are.
Now, you may want to drop by your local store (Wal-mart, various pharmacy, etc.) and pick up a pregnancy test. When you're late by a few days you should be able to get a decent read-out from the test. If you're truly concerned (since these sort of tests can show a false negative--and no, there is no false positive) you may want to make an appointment for a pregnancy test in your local clinic.
I hope you become better informed of your body and what you've been doing with your boyfriend lately.
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is it ok for a boy to nut in you if your on birth control (link)
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The other user is correct in saying that the hormonal birth control pill is 99.7% effective when used in perfection; however, it is unlikely that you are using the pills as perfectly as one hopes. This means that you should be taking your pill at the EXACT SAME TIME every single day. Even if you're only a couple of hours off, you have increased the chances of a pregnancy.
Let's face it, we are not perfect beings. Many things can lead to an imperfection in taking hormonal birth control pills. Antibiotics, mis-scheduling, herbs/supplements, and even weight gain can cause issues in the quality of pregnancy prevention (it can render your Hormonal Birth Control completely ineffective even).
With TYPICAL use of the hormonal birth control, a woman is 92% protected from pregnancy. However, one should take into consideration that even with a 99% effective rate claimed, there is an estimated 8 in every 100 women who will become pregnant from typical usage. This being said, you should be taking as many precautions as humanly possible to prevent a pregnancy (along with STD/STI transmission).
So, in short, no it really is not acceptable to allow a male to ejaculate inside of your body. Birth control pills are not completely effective and we are not perfect beings. Please protect yourself as much as possible. I know you would not want to have to face the hardships it is to become a young mother (or face the guilt of an abortion).
Please take enough time to research before engaging in risky activity. STDs/STIs can be very serious and people can go a very long time without being aware that they have contracted something and are passing things along. Babies can even be born with such things so anyone is at risk for having such things. Although condoms do not prevent transmission, they can be helpful in lessening risks. Abstinence is the only safe way to know that you are uninfected and not pregnant. Here are a couple of links you should really check out:
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
I hope things go well for you and you gain enough knowledge so we don't see you back here in a few weeks in fear of a possible pregnancy. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)
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when do women ovulate(sp?)?
and is it true that we can only get pregnant while we are ovulating?
also, if i am on birth control should i still be 100% safe..or is it okay to go without protection(condom)? (link)
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A woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts a few days. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization. A man's pre-ejaculatory fluid can be hard to distinguish after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse because it is a smaller quantity and is thinner. Yes, it is likely it contacts sperm that can still impregnate you just the same.
Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).
It can be difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, and major diet changes.
Hormonal birth control is to make you stop ovulating actually. It tricks your body into thinking it has already released an egg. Of course, sometimes the body doesn't really care and releases another one anyway (yes, it happens fairly often, believe it or not) so birth control pills are not 100% effective on preventing pregnancy (or STD/STI transmission). I would most definately continue using condoms if I were to engage in sexual intercourse since no form of birth control is 100% effective.
I hope I've helped you out in understanding how your body works. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)
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im not to familiar with the lyrics of this song, but i know the tune. It's by a woman, it's got a really pretty sounding piano playing along with violins and maybe some more stuff.
I dont think these lyrics are right at all, but something like this:
".....i will dry all of your tears,
......from all of these years."
and so on... It's a very beautiful/ id say emotional song. pleae help? thanks. (link)
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Could it possibly be My Immortal by Evanescence?
The lyrics, according to:
http://www.lyrics007.com/Evanescence%20Lyrics/My%20Immortal%20(Piano%20Version)%20Lyrics.html
...are:
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me
Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me
I'd love to walk away
And pull myself out of the rain
But I cant leave without you
I'd love to live without
The constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When youd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all, of me
...I'm not sure if the site is actually reliable on the correct lyrics but it sounded about right to me. For further help, here is a youtube video link to the song/music video for you to check out in case it might be the right song:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=B-A-4NQfFRs
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Okay so I recently started dating this guy. Phil.
But For the longest time I have liked this. guy Don. Don, is a jerk. He leades me on a lot and then just drops me.
What do I do? I feel like I'm cheating, or that I'm not being honest to Phil. (link)
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I really think that if you feel it might be wrong inside then it probably is wrong.
You say that Don leads you on a lot. This sounds odd because he shouldn't be able to lead you on in any way while in a relationship. To me, this sounds like you have been talking about getting together with Don but right now you're in a relationship and you don't believe Don would go through with dating you.
Really, if the guy leads you on you shouldn't allow him in your life. That's the first rule of all of this. You are worth more than what he wants you as. You should have good self-respect and know that you don't need manipulative people in your life.
Secondly, you shouldn't be contacting an old flame if you are currently taken. It really is just inappropriate and rude to your current partner. He may feel betrayed even if it came out that you talk with Don regularly. Also, you may need to re-evaluate the way you talk to people if it could be interpreted as flirting. When in a relationship, you need to take special precautions to avoid being flirty with other people--some people are naturally more flirty with others so you may need to put a lot of conscious effort into fixing it.
If you honestly feel very bad about communicating with Don while being with Phil then it might be in your best interest to talk to Phil about it. Tell him that you feel like you had betrayed him and that you have discontinued doing what you have been for your relationship. Even if it turns out that he isn't hurt by the occurrence it is still better to get it off your chest. For a good relationship to last both parties need to be completely open and honest with each other about everything.
Lastly, go on and cut Don out! He's of no use to you now unless you're wanting to demolish what relationship you do have with Phil. Cut the guy off completely. Let him know that you're not communicating any more with him because you're happily taken and deserve better than to be lead on and played with like he does to you.
Again, if it feels wrong then it probably is wrong.
Listen to your conscience.
Follow what you really know is best deep down inside.
Don't lie to yourself about your feelings. If you feel like you're cheating then you really need to discontinue the activity that is causing you to feel that way.
I hope I've helped you sort out some of your thoughts.
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okay so there is this boy named john, he has a girlfriend named shelby. theyve been on and off for 3 years. so while they were on a break me and him started to talk,(bf gfish) so i was really starting to like him , and he would always tell me he liked me. so me and john were getting pretty serious but then one day he randomly went back to his ex? so i was pretty pissed and hurt. so while he was wit her hes like im only w/ her so she doesnt go w. other guys. and yeah so we still flirted. and then they broke up again. so we startd talkin again. then he got a girlfriend again. and hes like i made such a mistake and i really want you and blah. he tells my friends this all the time. and hes always thinkin about me and brings me up to shleby. so ya recently the pas few nights i was thinking well fuck this im not waiting for him to be done w. shelby. so me and my ex starteed to talk and i started liking him again. so me and trey were talkin and shit so then he asked me back out and isaid yes. so then i go on aim in the morning and see i have an im from john sayin .. "wow you jus get a man like that? well i cant be mad since i did the same thing..hope it works out." wich i could tell it was SO fake. so i was like watever you ddi that to me twice and i never got mad at you. and hes like ight watever i was like okay shove that fake watever up your ass so then hes like okay i will then i was like i dont get it i did nothing to you and we werent guna work out since your never going to leave shelby. and i havent talked to him since that
but its like i totally rather be with john then trey but its like im not guna be his rebound and shit and wait for them to be over?
like shelbys a bitch
she flirts with tons of guys
and shes cheated on him before
she hits him all the time
and he forgives her EVERYTIME
ugh wat should i do? =(
(link)
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Totally forget about this loser.
To be blunt, John was stringing you along so that when he simply could not find a better girlfriend (more attractive or whatever he feels is oh so very important) he would settle for you for awhile. I say for awhile because he, most likely, wouldn't have stayed with you (he thinks very lowly of you) if he could find someone better. He told you things like he made mistakes being other people so that you would wait for him, him not honestly meaning what he was saying.
In his eyes you are a desperate girl who he could pick up and drop whenever he wanted. He could easily use you for whatever he'd like--attention, sex, money, whatever he feels he could pull from you. He figured that his current relationship wouldn't last so he would tell you pretty little things to keep you hanging on. He isn't really wanting you, Dear Friend, he only wants what you can offer when he gets "desperate" enough for you.
He's only upset because you were his back-up plan for life and you moved on from waiting for him to fail at other relationships. He never had any intention of actually being with you or he would have been with you, plain and simple. He put other girls before you more than once, proving that you meant absolutely nothing to him. In his eyes, you're easy and desperate so he could simply string you along until he needed some service from you.
The reason he kept taking his ex-girlfriend back is his issue. She may be pretty and he feels she is the best eye-candy he can get out there. She may be good in bed or easy and he knows his sexual needs will be met. Whatever it is, it's all about him in relationships--he doesn't really care what the other person thinks about things. This is why he can easily take someone back after they've cheated--because he has no real emotional attachment to them to be hurt by.
He isn't worth your time. Any guy that strings you along like that is sincerely a piece of trash. Move on and forget about him. Heck, if I were you, I'd completely cut off contact with him since I wouldn't want such a low-life in my life. You're better than him. Don't settle for dirt like this.
I hope I've opened your eyes to a couple of things you overlooked before. I'm sorry I was harsh but I really had to be blunt because I hate to see things like this happening and nobody being honest to the person that is being hurt!
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Me and my boyfriend had sex 3 times in one day back to back but the second time he told me to get off of him but i was to into it so i got up a 5 seconds later i got up but the sperm came out on his stomach and now what i wanna kno is do you think he nutted in me? but he says the first nut the strongest but the second one didnt really come out fast but do u think i could be pregnant because after my stomach started feeling bubbly and my insides were hurting off and on. (link)
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It is very possible that you could be pregnant but it is probably too soon to be able to tell. If you are truly very concerned you may want to make an appointment at your local clinic/doctor's office for a pregnancy test as those sort can tell before your missed period if you are indeed pregnant.
It only takes one sperm to fertilize your one egg. Just because your boyfriend ejaculated the first time does not mean he did not have sperm in the other ejaculations. His body is constantly producing sperm just as your body is constantly preparing a good environment for the sperm to travel to the egg in. You are able to get pregnant ANY TIME you have sexual intercourse--even when you're on your period!
This being said, you really need to use some sort of protection to help lower the chances of pregnant and STD/STI transmission. Condoms are very cheap and come in different sizes, colors, flavors, and styles. The price of a box of condoms is no match to the price of a baby.
If your period is late by a few days you may be able to purchase a home pregnancy test (not as good as a doctor's office) and take one. They sometimes can say negative/not pregnant when you are pregnant though (it's impossible for them to say you're pregnant when you're not though) so you may want to test on a couple of the sticks.
Please get yourself informed and stop risking your body so much. It is very, very easy to become pregnant--it only takes ONE time and ONE sperm. Even if he did not fully ejaculate in you, he did release some pre-ejaculatory fluid (natural, all guys do it, and they can't prevent themselves from doing it) which tends to contain some sperm.
Engaging in sex means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant. It takes only one sperm to fertilize your one egg. They are designed to do everything possible to ensure reproduction. Your body also does just about everything it can do to make sure the sperm can successfully fulfill their duty. Because of this, you are fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes).
I know what it all comes down to is that it's your life, your body, your decision, and possibly even your mistake. I am really concerned for your well-being though. It is best to keep yourself informed and well-educated. Please sit down with your partner and discuss the possible outcomes of your sexual activities together. You may also find it helpful to view the above sites with him so that you're sure he is just as informed as you are. Find a form of "protection" other than the pull-out method if that's what you two have been doing. The pull-out method is NOT effective, please be aware of that.
I hope that I've helped you gain some knowledge and you alter your recent behaviors.
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