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cheat
Okay so I recently started dating this guy. Phil.
But For the longest time I have liked this. guy Don. Don, is a jerk. He leades me on a lot and then just drops me.
What do I do? I feel like I'm cheating, or that I'm not being honest to Phil.
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Well, first you need to be sure that you really like Phil. Second, you should tell him about Don. I know that sounds stupid, but it is really the best thing to do. And I don't think that you are cheating on Phil unless you actually start dating Don, and technically you are being honest with him. But, that is just technically. If you feel guilty about this, you should tell Phil about Don, and if he really likes you, he will understand. I am not saying that he will not be upset for a little while, but it is probably the best thing to do. I hope this helps
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I really think that if you feel it might be wrong inside then it probably is wrong.
You say that Don leads you on a lot. This sounds odd because he shouldn't be able to lead you on in any way while in a relationship. To me, this sounds like you have been talking about getting together with Don but right now you're in a relationship and you don't believe Don would go through with dating you.
Really, if the guy leads you on you shouldn't allow him in your life. That's the first rule of all of this. You are worth more than what he wants you as. You should have good self-respect and know that you don't need manipulative people in your life.
Secondly, you shouldn't be contacting an old flame if you are currently taken. It really is just inappropriate and rude to your current partner. He may feel betrayed even if it came out that you talk with Don regularly. Also, you may need to re-evaluate the way you talk to people if it could be interpreted as flirting. When in a relationship, you need to take special precautions to avoid being flirty with other people--some people are naturally more flirty with others so you may need to put a lot of conscious effort into fixing it.
If you honestly feel very bad about communicating with Don while being with Phil then it might be in your best interest to talk to Phil about it. Tell him that you feel like you had betrayed him and that you have discontinued doing what you have been for your relationship. Even if it turns out that he isn't hurt by the occurrence it is still better to get it off your chest. For a good relationship to last both parties need to be completely open and honest with each other about everything.
Lastly, go on and cut Don out! He's of no use to you now unless you're wanting to demolish what relationship you do have with Phil. Cut the guy off completely. Let him know that you're not communicating any more with him because you're happily taken and deserve better than to be lead on and played with like he does to you.
Again, if it feels wrong then it probably is wrong.
Listen to your conscience.
Follow what you really know is best deep down inside.
Don't lie to yourself about your feelings. If you feel like you're cheating then you really need to discontinue the activity that is causing you to feel that way.
I hope I've helped you sort out some of your thoughts.
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