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Depressed
I am dealing with a huge weigh on my shoulders. Last year I went through the hardest time of my life. I had been with my ex-boyfriend on and off for almost a year and a half. He moved away for school but we hook up when he would come home. I ended up pregnant and he made me feel like there was no way to keep the baby. I was in a horrible state with my hormones running wild and all the added stress of school. I was 2 months away from receiving degree. But I knew it was going against everything I believe in.
I feel totally depressed. Its been a year and I still have the pregnancy weight, I feel totally guilty for what I did. It kills me inside to think about what I did. I have no one to talk to because its such a sensitive issue. My friends haven't been through this and I dont want to dwell my issues on them. I lost all my confidence i feel fat and ugly because of what I did. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel totally alone :*(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Life is not perfect...far from it, and humans are not either. Forgive yourself for not having all the answers and for not being ready to be a parent. It is okay that you chose abortion. You did nothing wrong. The only bad part was that you were pressured by your boyfriend. Have you talked to your parents or any family about it? How about a counselor at a clinic, or school? You will pick yourself up and achieve what you want to in life...just believe you will and that you are worth it. You will get that degree! You will also lose the weight and feel good about yourself again. Start doing some things just for you and get some positive people in your life to support you and your new goals. This was a temporary setback, and you will get through it. You did something that was hard, but not horrible. You took responsibility for making the decision with your body and life...the pregnancy ended, but a pregnancy is not a baby. You will start to heal when you realize that your decision may have been the best choice for you at the time. God bless you on your journey.
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I somewhat can relate to how you feel. I have had female issues since I was 16. I had to go through series of shots, and treatments in order to get pregnant. After we got pregnant there were problems with the baby. I saw 2 different doctors and after seeing the ultrasounds they both had said that I should terminate the pregnancy. One said that it was better to terminate it now then to wait for it to terminate on its own. It was very hard for me. When my husband and I went in they had told him that I was already dilating. They wouldn't put me under, I had to be awake for the whole thing.
To this day I think about it and cry. However 6 months later we became pregnant again. With a few minor complications we had a pretty much healthy baby girl. I thank God for giving my baby back.
Some day God will give you your child back.
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Having two babies of my own, I can't have any idea what you are going through right now. I won't pretend to.
I do know that we all make hard choices in this life, and we do our best to go with the option that is for the best.
I think it would probably do you a lot of good to seek therapy or support groups, as said before. Either way (or you can do both) you will have someone to talk to about how you are feeling without the fear and worry of being judged.
You need to find a way to move past this so you can go on with your life.
ygs-30/f
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I completely understand how hurt you must feel inside because of the thing you did to another life-form.
If I were in this position, I would take the negative feelings you are having and put them toward education other women about what abortion has done to your body. It sounds like you have been very run down because of the guilt and you really do need to express this. I may even suggest a good therapist to help you work out these emotions.
I think that this is a wonderful site to start on for you. Gather some information on the negative aspects of abortion and educate the younger generations here about it. I know you don't want others to suffer and go through what you have been doing and this may help to fill the void you are experiencing. In my eyes, it's probably the best you can do for the life you ended--I mean, to make sure others won't end because of peer pressure and ignorance.
Here is a site that you may be able to contribute to:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Learn your lesson from what you did and know that if you feel you have put yourself in such a situation again, adoption is ALWAYS an option. Let others know that they are not trapped in the situation as you must have felt.
In regards to educating others about the effects of abortion on you, I have answered a few abortion questions on this site and here is a link to one of my answers:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You are more than welcome to reword my writing and add in your own experience on other questions if you see fit. The links may be of use to you as well so you may want to check them out.
Please put your energy and time to good use. You know what you did was wrong, so try to spread that knowledge onto young, fragile minds that don't know any better. Keeping yourself occupied by helping others in this sort of situation may be more helpful to you than you think.
I hope all goes well for you and you find out that you are not alone and that you can help so many young women around the world by just your one experience. Spread your knowledge!
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Abortion's hard... It's a hard choice and hard to live with after. That being said, I'm not against the idea under right circumstance. I'm nineteen, but I know the feeling of losing unborn children; my body rejects the idea and I've had seven miscarriges. I know, at least for me, that I always wonder who these children of mine would have been. Would they have been happy? Would I have been a good mother?
It's very hard to get over the idea, and I know that it causes you a lot of pain. No one will ever understand until they go through a similar experience. I find solace in people that share these experiences and it really helps to talk to them. I go to a shrink now and I know it really helps me, but if you're not ready for that step there is a website, completely confidential, that is a forum of support groups. It is called DailyStrength.com and it has helped me through so much. I suggest you go there and share everything you feel. It's a safe environment and people there are supportive.
I know I also write to my unborn children in a journal and it helps me to know that they might "hear" me.
Just remember that you are not alone, and that you did what you thought, at least at the time, was the right thing to do. Time heals all wounds, though scars will often be left. I have confidence that you will overcome this everest. You'll always feel guilty, but the thing to do is learn to cope, not forget.
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I'm only 14, and about a month ago I was about two months pregnant but he/she died because of the medication I was taking after my tumor removal. I know it's not the same in a way but it still hurt. Losing the only thing that belongs to you hurts whether it's your choice or not.
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fortunaly your not lone ... many young girls go threw the same thing have u looked for local support groups ... yes you will go threw a lot of emotional pain and stress abortions are not natural and they take time to heal .. but what you can do in the mean times is atempt to eat more foods with anti -oxidents to filter out bad toxins , drikng green tea and eat more fruit .. baby weight wont go away ,but with the littlest exersise as walking daily will help .. the reason behind the slow weight loss is due to depresion .. have you tryed takiing to a doctor a hormone imballence might be the problem .. as for the internal pain thats a scare .. yes time heals all wonds the worse thing you can do is isolate your self ... remember humans come in all shapes and sizes in Gods eyes your still beautyful
i can asure you must have atleast five tallents
take some personal time to write them down
you need to start buliding confidence
its going to be hard .. you have to gain the streinths to look your self in the eye
begin in the mirror every night and every morining stare at your helf repeating " i am a worthy Human , kind, loving , deserving and will ing to find my self i am a child of God and my parents I love me for me I love me for me " you have to slowly buld up confidence and that takes time .. as long as your on earth youll never be alone!!!!! well u an im me @ metal_beauty_4_life@yahoo.com i have more if i have helped you any
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My Friend! Please do not let this mellen collie eat you alive my friend!
I have educated myself in many many topics I would like to start off saying. One, is the avg life of a human in first world nations. The human`s mind reaction to a very out of this world modern age. And where this world is going. Amoug other subjects which barley relate.
I dont belive you made the right choice. I know so
The only way for you to have a child who isnt going to have to overcome the impossilbe to have a normel life is for you to be rich rich rich. Ive done the math. And on avg your going to need most of your life for the next 25 years and 50,000 usd per child a year! I was born with cancer because my mother ate fast foods, processed foods, lased foods which are still accpected in modern day to be ok.
But im the one who gets cancer. I grew up on a deit which gave me learning problems. I grow up and see the effects of ignorance on peoples children. I also grew up on a deit which has a high chance of giving mental illnesses. I am manic depessant, I have medical problems which i can barly live with and know in my heart that they will be the death of me one way or another
But the chances of you having a normel 100 years ago child when your not rich rich is less then 10%
If you look you will find that since this modern way there are far less smart children being born
and the darkness causeing it is just too much to deal with. And if this sounds ludacris and your unwilling to belive or look. Then all my years nose deep in a book about the mind say alot about someone who choices such paths friend.
Plus, having a child this time of age i belive to be very unethical, because there are people who arent as smart as you and give up the child to adoption when they have no DAMN CLUE!!! what it is like! What the forced injections those kids are forced to deal with. Theres a reason why kids who are adopted are more likly to commit hanus crimes
You made the right choice And Never forget it.
And your not alone.
P.S.
If you still feel the same way and need to know who what where when and why on how to stop this depresion or to make it berable Please by all means with every fibor of your being Look up the four noble truths.
It made me 99% stress free
And I Am Always open by any means to help anyone in there task of understanding these truths for they are simple yet tricky to your modern day persons of any day of time
Wish You the best friend
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You must be hurting so much. Well, I don't know much of what to say but you're not alone sweetheart, there are so many people who have experienced this situation. Maybe you should look into meeting up with a support group, they can help you cope and maybe one day you can help someone in your position cope as well. Take this experience as something to learn from in your life.
As for your confidence, don't let the guilt of what happened prevent you from continuing your life. Let yourself be beautiful and feel good. Everything happens for a reason. I hope you feel better love.
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Your grief is normal for women who have gone through what you have. It sounds like you deeply regret your decision and you are beating your self up. I would advise that you seek counseling, because you need to forgive yourself. This incident while it is one you regret, is a symbolic one, because it represents a lot of life lessons for you to learn which will help you prosper in the future. However if you continue to wallow in depression, you will not be in a healthy state of mind to adequately process the experience. Your experience did not occur in vain; forgive yourself, you are worthwhile and you deserve to be forgiven.
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You can tell me I have no right in this subject at all, as most abortionists will. I am a man and I have no say when it comes to a womans body, but these proponents who care so much about your body, care nothing about your mind. I sit here and weep for you; not for your unborn child. You will spend the rest of your life in tears as this anniversary roles around every year, beating yourself up for a decision made in haste and angst. It was selfish and unthinking in your mind and no matter what I say, you will always think that way. The one thing you forget is that which is unseen, your god. Do you think an omnipotent, (one who knows all), did not know that you would abort this baby? Do you think there was actually a spirit with in this baby that he knew you would abort? If you do, you sell your god short. Please take my tears and the lessons you must take, cry for the living and forgive yourself.
Be well, I hold you in my thoughts
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The decision you made what yours, and there isn't much you can do about it now. You're feeling guilty, and still debating with whether or not you made the right decision. Now is the time to start reliving your life and getting everything you love about back on track.
There's no easy distraction after going through something so painful.
Just know, that if your friends a friends-- you are never ever ever a burden to them. Feel free to tell them when you're having one of THOSE days when you feel rock bottom. They'll listen.
Maybe the more you talk about this, the more you'll learn about the experience. There's support groups for women who have abortions. My mom did after she was raped, and she's still dealing with it.
Mistakes happen, the idea is to learn from them and leave the rest in God's hands.
Take care. =)
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honey the decision you made was only yours. your boyfriend had a right to his opinion, but you shouldn't of let it influence you that much. you feel bad now probably b/c you know what you did was wrong, and you only want to get better. just try and do things that slowly take your mind off of it. i know obviously it won;t completely leave your mind, but it can help if you start exercising, you know? or try some yoga. it's very relaxing, and suppose to help you find your center. and even though you don't want to trouble your friends, that what they're around for. i think you should definitely vent to them more, they could help you through the difficult time, and be a shoulder for you to lean on so you don't have to deal with the weight.
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