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abortion
say someone was pregnant and they were going to get an abortion.. should you tell the babies father?.. you were never going out with him but he lead you on and you got pregnant and now he had a girlfriend and its not you... should you still tell him your pregnant or just leave it alone so you wont cause drama..?
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Well if someone is pregnant, and they have already made up their mind to get an abortion then what would be the point of telling the Father?? However, if that someone is not really sure of what they want to do, and would like to know how the Father would feel about impending parenthood, then the only way to know is to tell him.
As for the girlfriend and the drama, yes that is a definite possibility. However, if you have any inkling that part of you might want this child, don't do anything till your sure.You have to put yourself and this child first regardless of what impact it may have on him and his girlfriend. They are secondary in this and you dont owe either one of them anything. He knew as well as you did when you were together what could happen. Clearly he takes sleeping around lightly as he has moved on so quickly. Therefore in my opinion he forfeits the right to being part of the decision you are making, unless you want to include him.
I like others who have answered previously have some personal beliefs on the subject of abortion. Unlike some of the others I will refrain from sharing my belief's because it doesn't sound like your asking what you should do, but instead only if you should tell him. The best advice I can give you is be true to yourself. Make the choice you can live with and forget about him. You owe him nothing. Take your time and really figure out what you want for your life, because whatever you decide here is final. There is no taking it back either way. My hope is that whatever decision you make leads you to happiness and peace in your life. Don't let outsiders take that from you, and without a doubt the guy and his girlfriend are outsiders unless you decide to allow them in. Take Care and Good Luck.
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Before I really answer your question I really want to make you aware of a few things in case you are talking about yourself in this case. If you are inquiring for a friend then maybe it's best you pass the following information along so that she is well-informed.
I am truly only concerned for your well-being and hope to make you a little more knowledgeable before you make a definite choice on such a serious matter.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
I really believe that the person that impregnated you should be well aware of the situation. He is just as involved in this thing as you are. Even if it was a one-night-stand he should be aware of the result of it since it is half of his DNA as well.
If the guy gets upset that you became pregnant then let him. You are not starting drama. The drama started when you BOTH decided to have sex with each other. Telling him is the right thing to do in this situation. It's just as much his "fault" that it's came to this as it is yours. It's alright if he doesn't want to be a part of the child's life. It isn't too late, you can get help if you put your energy into it, or start to look at an alternate solution that does not mean ending an innocent life that didn't have a say in any of this.
If he pushes for you to have an abortion and you really don't want to then DON'T. You know right from wrong and, hopefully, you're now knowledgeable enough to make the right decisions for you about this. Get yourself completely informed so you can share the information with him about this situation. Still know you did the right thing by informing him even if he gets upset that you are making him aware of the situation.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things.
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As a general rule I think it's important to tell the male involved.
However, if you choose not to tell the guy because he is now wholly unconnected too you and you don't want to speak to him anymore, I think that is probably fine and up to you.
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well if your only getting an abortion because you dont want to cause drama and not cause you really want to you should tell him if you want to have the baby and if not well just dont
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That is really up to you. It is your decision to get an abortion and its your choice whether you tell him or not. I probably wouldn't tell him, because if he wasn't going to be involved anyway then it really isn't any of his business, but thats just my opinion. You need to decide what you want to do and go with your gut feeling. It probably will cause some drama and you will probably get called some names along the way, I do warn you of that. Good luck with your decision.
Hope I Helped.
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