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Really bad advice, established in 2004. FORUM.
advice
Okay i am 15f and I have like these sudden urges to have like sex every once and awhile, what do i do to relieve this, like satisfy myself...ps i dont want my family to know!!! Thanks!!!!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=523679
Asking 19 minutes later doesn't get you any more answers.
Matt. Dude, are you still on probation? Also, I am desperately curious about your "history on this site, some of which is fairly embarrassing." (Excerpt from all-powerful advicenator_admin's column).
Probation? As long as I have a column here and DangerNerd owns the site, I'll be on probation.
I think I'll straight up go down the list of his response to that question. See, DangerNerd has a talent. He can exaggerate and make things look better or worse than they actually are while at the same time appealing to your emotions, so everything he says deserves a grain of salt.
"You see, Matt spends his time here deliberately fishing for 1 ratings."
If I was fishing for 1 ratings, don't you think I'd be predominately receiving 1 ratings?
"He typically words things in the most caustic manner possible to evoke an angry response, then comes to us for more attention."
I do actually word things in a caustic manner, but not to evoke angry responses. I do it to humor and amuse myself. I don't care about the supposed attention I'm seeking. I'd enjoy it if they'd just leave me the fuck alone and stop banning me.
"It wasn't always this way. He was very helpful once upon a time. A real credit to the site and someone everyone could be proud to call an advisor."
Emotional appeal. Worded to make me seem like I've fallen oh-so-far and it's a true travesty. I used to just give straight up average advice. Wasn't too helpful if you ask me.
"You have NO idea what he and his friend have put the administration of this site through, none at all.
Trust me, this isn't vindictive, it is our last effort to get him to shape up before he is removed from the site forever."
Hah, for many months he thought my friend and I were the same person because we'd log on at each others houses and the email my friend had listed on his column was a piece of a quote from a movie about a guy that was schizophrenic and whose friend actually did not exist. It would have been clever had we not been two different people. He has since left the site because his advice was straight up bad in the first place.
"And he knows it. It seems out of character for him to have other people intercede... oh, no wait. We have danced this dance before with another couple of young ladies. Nevermind."
Crazy girls that went to a Jewish day school became obsessed with my friend and me. No fault of ours. One actually looked up my friends number and called him. They also made a Xanga devoted to us on who was hotter and who was cuter, me or him. That was... when I was in 9th grade so two years ago.
"And before you go thinking that he only picks on stupid people... Be advised. I have seen his first column here, now deleted, and he was once very much like the people he now tries to belittle and humiliate."
Really makes you curious, huh? DangerNerd is great on playing at a reader's emotions, about as good as I am. Maybe better. Was I a regular 13 year old columnist with bad typing on the site at one point? Yes. Did I ask terrible questions? No. I didn't exactly ask good ones, but they weren't terribly bad and idiotic like the ones I see here. I'm only rude and caustic to the questioners that deserve (need?) that kind of response. Notice how I avoid good questions I don't know the answers to, or avoid questions in which any bad or rude advice would set the person off.
Soooooo, that's my history. I've had at least 7 columns, and have been banned at least 14 times. You lose track eventually you see. I deleted my first one, which was a stupid 13 year old impulse creation after one year, then moved onto assuager. Assuager lasted me until it was locked and I was banned from it until 2014, and I moved onto Yish. With that, I walked the line nicely for a bit, then was booted from that. Oh yea, I forgot about GodMachine. So that's 8 columns. After Yish came Yes, which was banned immediately (the speed was impressive), then came No, which was banned just as quickly. Then came GodMachine, who has actually never been banned and might still exist. Then came Thew, which I deleted myself a little while ago and decided to delete every column I've ever had along with it, including a mysteriously reactivated assuager. So now I'm on Matt. I've only been banned once with it for advising someone to punch someone else in the face.
Any others questions, feel free to ask. :)
EDIT: I would never advise someone to kill them self. The girls were definitely stalkers and it was sort of amusing for a bit, but then it just got weird.
is this for real: http://www.biggest-cat.com/
It's a sad day when the average to lower than average person can't recognize a mediocre Photoshopping.
"That's probably a run on sentence, but who cares, you can't see anyway."
Hahahha that was hilarious! :)
Witty thank yous aren't in my repertoire, so a regular one will have to do.
Thank you.
okay so my boyfriend has fingered me a lot. i like it to a point but he like scrapes me when he does it. i know, ouch. but like on the outside to find it. how do i tell him that that DOESN"T feel good?
With your voice.
I accidentally left my glasses on a school bus that took us on a field trip today. My mom said that she wasn't going to help me or get me new ones, but she said to check out with our teacher to see what bus it was. I am so worried because I can't see like at all, and I thought that my mom of all people would help me find them, but she said right to me that she wouldn't. What should I do to find them exactly? (Note: These are the same buses that take us to and from school each day.)
Such accuracy typing!
Talk to your teacher about if any glasses have been turned in, then get the company that runs the bus service for you and get a phone number to contact them.
That's probably a run on sentence, but who cares, you can't see anyway.
whats a good photoshop i can download for free, hats not just a trial and wont give my computer a virus.
The Photoshop you just listed doesn't exist. Sort of like those lists of qualities girls put up containing their "perfect guy" traits.
if you get you period and you had sex a week before can you be pregnant?
and can you still be pregnant even if you get your period?
Semen + vagina = chance of pregnancy.
what are some other good songs.
like my world by sick puppies.
Fucked with a Knife by Cannibal Corpse from the album Butchered at Birth.
I actually hate that song, I just wanted to type it out.
Im a 17 and i have a really abusive brother. How can i deal with him without callin the cops? should i tell my bf and gf or Friends?
Punch him in the face and put on high heels and stomp his balls while he's sleeping.
after i had sex the guy betrayed me and asked out another girl, he doesnt get how much he hurt me and i loved him alot. i dont know wat to do . .
Get a pregnancy test if you miss your period, then figure out why you went after a guy that was obviously a terrible choice.
EDIT: Prevention is more important.
There was this one epeosode of Much on Demand and it showed a picture of someone's butt (not whole butt but) and Leah was like "keep watching and we'll tell you who's butt this is!"
I'm not perverted or anything but I'm a girl. I watched it as long as i could but then i had to go to a doctor's appointment and when i came back, the show was done. It's been bothering me in my head for like weeks now and I can't focuss!
Who's butt was it?
Mine.
my family is in debt about 40k. is this alot? im 14 and they dont think that there is any way to help. what can i do? we have never ever been like this, and because of it, its tearing apart the family
It's about a year of tuition at a very nice private college.
How can someone go from being very popular to totally unpopular, to the point where people don't talk about them anymore ? What do you have to do to become very unpopular?
Read this;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar
When I finally think I'm over this a**hole (who used me..) life puts a spin on things.
You see I was so excited that I finally liked someone new, that I was getting this loser out of my head, that I decided to introduce him to my friends (I didnt tell them I liked him, just that we were friends) and the first thing they say? "Wow he's exactly like Richard, they could be twins!!" (Richard, of course, being the A**hole!) ha ha ha ha - funny, right?! >.<
And I take a second look, and its true. They look a like, act a like, have the same intersts, same attitude towards woman (plaaaayers!) same EVERYTHING!
Now what do I do about this? Keep going around falling for Richards all the time?
I'd rather not.
But for some reason the only guy I'm attracted to these days (Ive tried to be attracted to others) are exactly like him. And its not that he's my typ or anything.. when i first went out with him I often had to convince myself because I wasnt attracted to him.. not my sense of humor, not my type of looks.. but now.. after him.. my type seems to have changed (to liking complete jerks)
WHAT DO I DO PEOPLE? IM GOING NUTS!
Your father is either a) dead b) not in the picture c) divorced from your mother d) a cheater or e) an asshole.
Go after guys you're not as passionately interested in.
EDIT:
When someone is in a distressing or traumatic situation when they're younger or have bad influences and bad people around them, that's the exact thing that people are attracted to when they become older. So those people that you're very interested in now that you're older will nearly always have these characteristics that you grew up with, which is obviously not a good thing. The extreme of this is with abuse. Those that are abused before that portion of their brains are finished forming (before 14ish) will continue that cycle of abuse. I'd be willing to bet that 90+ percent of today's abusers received the same treatment when they were younger.
I'm not saying go after people you're not interested in, just go after people you're not as excited and extremely interested in.
Hey, God needs some amusement. :)
Like alot of people at my school are saying that I am annoying and that is so not true and I am really upset. So how can I stop being annoying like really or how am I annoying.
Stop talking.
i just turned 13 and my penis is 5 inches is that normal?
If at 13 you feel self conscious enough to measure your schlong, you've got bigger problems.
what happened to xtina aguilera's dad? is he dead? WHY ? WHEN?
I don't know, nor do I care, but google is a pretty good resource when you don't want to waste someone's time.
I'm 15/f... Two years ago I was cast aside by my best friends for something out of my own control and I also got asked to leave the Christian school. Of course two years later I am going to a public school, have new friends and new life all that. But the people i left back at my old school that screwed me over are living the highschool life i wish I was living, it's all to easy for them. Is it because god just hates me?It doesn't make sense and it irks me to no end... it's two years I should be over this mess.
Sorry for the long question
thanks in advance
God gave you such strife because he knows you can handle it.
I am thin but i'm wide and how kan i make my width smaller . I don't need to loos weight but my curves are alittle too big .. what can i doo?
http://www.polkknives.com/uploads/Bush%20Knife.jpg