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matt Matt. Dude, are you still on probation? Also, I am desperately curious about your "history on this site, some of which is fairly embarrassing." (Excerpt from all-powerful advicenator_admin's column).
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Probation? As long as I have a column here and DangerNerd owns the site, I'll be on probation.
I think I'll straight up go down the list of his response to that question. See, DangerNerd has a talent. He can exaggerate and make things look better or worse than they actually are while at the same time appealing to your emotions, so everything he says deserves a grain of salt.
"You see, Matt spends his time here deliberately fishing for 1 ratings."
If I was fishing for 1 ratings, don't you think I'd be predominately receiving 1 ratings?
"He typically words things in the most caustic manner possible to evoke an angry response, then comes to us for more attention."
I do actually word things in a caustic manner, but not to evoke angry responses. I do it to humor and amuse myself. I don't care about the supposed attention I'm seeking. I'd enjoy it if they'd just leave me the fuck alone and stop banning me.
"It wasn't always this way. He was very helpful once upon a time. A real credit to the site and someone everyone could be proud to call an advisor."
Emotional appeal. Worded to make me seem like I've fallen oh-so-far and it's a true travesty. I used to just give straight up average advice. Wasn't too helpful if you ask me.
"You have NO idea what he and his friend have put the administration of this site through, none at all.
Trust me, this isn't vindictive, it is our last effort to get him to shape up before he is removed from the site forever."
Hah, for many months he thought my friend and I were the same person because we'd log on at each others houses and the email my friend had listed on his column was a piece of a quote from a movie about a guy that was schizophrenic and whose friend actually did not exist. It would have been clever had we not been two different people. He has since left the site because his advice was straight up bad in the first place.
"And he knows it. It seems out of character for him to have other people intercede... oh, no wait. We have danced this dance before with another couple of young ladies. Nevermind."
Crazy girls that went to a Jewish day school became obsessed with my friend and me. No fault of ours. One actually looked up my friends number and called him. They also made a Xanga devoted to us on who was hotter and who was cuter, me or him. That was... when I was in 9th grade so two years ago.
"And before you go thinking that he only picks on stupid people... Be advised. I have seen his first column here, now deleted, and he was once very much like the people he now tries to belittle and humiliate."
Really makes you curious, huh? DangerNerd is great on playing at a reader's emotions, about as good as I am. Maybe better. Was I a regular 13 year old columnist with bad typing on the site at one point? Yes. Did I ask terrible questions? No. I didn't exactly ask good ones, but they weren't terribly bad and idiotic like the ones I see here. I'm only rude and caustic to the questioners that deserve (need?) that kind of response. Notice how I avoid good questions I don't know the answers to, or avoid questions in which any bad or rude advice would set the person off.
Soooooo, that's my history. I've had at least 7 columns, and have been banned at least 14 times. You lose track eventually you see. I deleted my first one, which was a stupid 13 year old impulse creation after one year, then moved onto assuager. Assuager lasted me until it was locked and I was banned from it until 2014, and I moved onto Yish. With that, I walked the line nicely for a bit, then was booted from that. Oh yea, I forgot about GodMachine. So that's 8 columns. After Yish came Yes, which was banned immediately (the speed was impressive), then came No, which was banned just as quickly. Then came GodMachine, who has actually never been banned and might still exist. Then came Thew, which I deleted myself a little while ago and decided to delete every column I've ever had along with it, including a mysteriously reactivated assuager. So now I'm on Matt. I've only been banned once with it for advising someone to punch someone else in the face.
Any others questions, feel free to ask. :)
EDIT: I would never advise someone to kill them self. The girls were definitely stalkers and it was sort of amusing for a bit, but then it just got weird. ]
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