NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: is it dangerous to use nair around your vagina? like your bikini line and stuff?

Don't use regular Nair in that area. It will give you nasty chemical burns!

Nair does have a special line of bikini area products, though. Those are safe to use.

Q: I need to lose weight. My BMI is higher than it should be and my blood pressure is up. I know that Im overweight and the doctors told me this. I need to lose weight but where do I start?

I dont want to just cut out all junk food straight away because I know i will crave it more and end up giving it in so I want to kind of cut out fast food, then snacks and so on.

Also I dont want to jump in doing 3 hours exercise or something I want to start off with slower exercise. Whats the best to lose weight on your stomach area?

If you can help, I would really appreciate it. x

What I would suggest for food is portion control, rather than cutting stuff out altogether.

One thing that has worked for me is getting smaller dishes. It keeps the amount you're eating at once down. If you're still truly hungry, you can go back for seconds.

Don't cut out junk food altogether. If you love chocolate, like me, get a big bar of dark chocolate and break it into small squares. Make it so that after every dinner, you can have a small bit of chocolate. Dark rather than milk helps keep cravings under control, and it satisfies anything that crops up. Same goes for any other guilty pleasures. Parcel them up in small sandwich bags, and allow only that many to be eaten. If you're going to have fast food, sub in a salad instead of fries, and have a single patty burger instead of the double. Just don't eat fast food all the time.

Make sure you snack regularly. Small snacks, too. One of my favourites is about 10 almonds. You'd never think it would fill you, but it does if you eat before you get hungry.

As for exercise, there is no way to target one particular area.

Try walking places instead of driving or taking the bus. I live a half hour walk away from the downtown core of my city, so I walk wherever I go. Getting groceries (also helps with what you're buying... you have to be willing to carry it!), going to the drug store, anything. Just walk there.

If you can't do that, then a decent walk (half an hour or so) every day is a good idea. If you bring small hand weights (DO NOT use the strap on wrist or ankle weights... they cause stress on the joints), do bicep curls while you walk.

As you progress, try jogging for short spurts, then walking. Start at 30 seconds of jogging followed by 3 minutes of walking. I'm an asthmatic who has had struggles with weight in the past, so trust me when I say anyone can do it.

Make sure you get in some strength building exercise as well. Muscle burns more calories than fat, even at rest. Do some sit-ups or push-ups, as well as some squats. Start small. Even if you can only do one of each at first, it's something, right?

Good luck!

Q: ok i'm 18 and he's 19, we dated for two years and really loved each other a lot. we'd never felt that way about anyone before, were completely in love, even talked about getting engaged and married and everything. well, we had some problems, and between those and the stress in each of our own lives, we broke up a few weeks ago. he said then and now that he still wants to get back with me in the future and still wants to marry me, but he just needs some time to himself right now. at first, yeah i was really torn up and so hurt and felt like everything was my fault and all i wanted was him back. but after about a week, i've been pretty much fine. it's weird not having him around and having someone always there, but i'm not upset anymore. i dont think i'll ever find anyone else like him and that kind of hurts, and after all the trouble i dont even really think it's worth it to get back together, but why am i not hurting? for being together nearly two years, i thought it would take me months to get over him, so why was it like a week? seriously what's going on? usually i'm the type that does take a long time to get over someone, so why is it different with my first & true love? i really don't hurt anymore, i dont even know if i want him back.. i didn't expect that? i know i loved him... so what the heck? is this weird? i'm not in denial or avoiding the subject or anything, so i'm really confused.

There are two potential reasons I can think of.

Number one, you two are young. Not too young for that kind of relationship, but you were definitely young when you started dating. People change between age 16/17 and 18/19. A lot. You may have grown apart without even realizing it, and without feeling a reduction in the love you have for each other.

The other reason: he pulled kind of a (pardon my language) dick move when he decided he wanted time to himself. If my fiance had done that to me, he would rapidly have found himself minus some essential male body parts, if you catch my drift. If you really want to marry someone, you don't tell them to wait for a while because you need time to yourself.

There's nothing wrong with you moving on. I applaud it, actually. :)

Q: do twins date the same kind of girl/guy?

I'm engaged to one of a set of twins.

The other one is gay.

So, I'd say it depends on the twins. Some are more alike, some are very different.

Q: 17-F-IA

I'm getting ready to go to college in about a year and a half and i want to go to become a pediatric nurse and work my way up over time to a pediatrician....

its possible to work your way up to a doctor isnt it?

whats the highest level of education you can get for nursing? (masters,bachelors,Dr?)

Do you have to go to a special school//college to become a pediatric nurse or do you just learn basic nursing needs and you can be whatever kind of nurse you want to be?

Do you have to go to college for nursing or do you just go to a nursing school?

&

Could you find me a good school//college in the desmoines, IA area.
you dont have to do this one just need help getting things figured out.

thanks in advance.

Unfortunately, you can't "work your way up" to being a doctor. The only way to become a doctor is to go to medical school for 4 years. To become a pediatrician, you would need an extra 4 years. So altogether, you'd be in university for up to 12 years to reach pediatrician status.

A bachelor's degree in nursing is what allows you to operate as a nurse. You get basic training.

You can get a master's degree in nursing, which allows you to specialize further. It takes between 18 and 24 months to do. That's how you would become a pediatric nurse.

You can also get a PhD, but I'm not entirely sure what that entails.

If you so chose, you could likely get a BSN, then apply for medical school. It would take you 12 years to go that route to become a pediatrician.

There are no special nursing schools. Universities have nursing departments.

Here's a link where you can browse nursing schools from different states and get information:

http://www.allnursingschools.com/featured/bsn-degree-programs/

Q: Blake (15,Sophomore) Umm.. ok here's the story if you saw my post about needing help about needing help with my gf this is attached to it. Ok we're planning on meeting up for college and I am over weight and when i see her for college I want to make her feel special. So I am going to work out and make myself worthy of her more then personality wise at the moment I am 5'9" 248lbs By the time I am 17-18 I should be around 5'11" to 6'0" I have used many things to calculate what I should weigh when I am 5'11" or 6'0" and it is around 170-190lbs

So I am going to do the following to get there Walk on a treadmill 5+ miles a day at least 5 days a week(When football season is not in) cut out as much junk food as possible Keep up with my normal weight training(including crunches to work my abs and get rid of my stomach because this is the main area where my fat is stored) I do not go into like a ballish shape figure that some people do when they are overweight. Also I have pretty big problems in the rear region(Any suggestions for this would be much appreciated) So that is about it and besides this my mom wants me to play with my dogs at least 1 hour a day which will help me with some stuff because 1 of my 2 dogs is a chocolate lab that loves to fetch and play tug of war. I was wondering do you guys have any extra suggestions for exercises. Also do you think this will be enough. (I got 2yrs. but I'm sure they will fly because of what I am trying to do)(any and all comments are appreciated) Thank you in advance!

You can't really target specific areas with exercises when it comes to weight loss. The best way to lose weight in all of your specified regions is cardio. The weight training will help, since muscle burns more calories than fat. It will also tone you, even if you can't see it right away.

Walking is a good start. If you can, extend it past the treadmill and into the realm of the real world. Walk everywhere you physically can.

Also, be careful with your diet. Don't cut your calories too much, because your body will go into starvation mode. Try substituting out some of your carbs. Instead of nachos, have a taco salad. Instead of a sandwich, have a wrap. That sort of thing helps a lot.

The weight should fly off of you at first. Don't be disappointed if it slows down. What you can do is up your routine. Once it's more comfortable, start taking your dogs for jogs or runs. You don't have to jog the whole way, but alternate spurts of jogging with walking until you can.

Good luck!

EDIT: I didn't mean alternate on the machine. I meant alternate when you jog with your dogs, since it would likely be a fairly long distance.

Q: hi, everyone. i'm 5'6" and 141 pounds. i'm currently in college and my eating habits have gotten terrible! now, we all know that dieting in school is nearly impossible. but are there any ways that i could maybe cut down my eating habits and what fitness i should do at the gym to lose weight? i literally gained the "freshman 15" here and i'd love to lose it. also, i would like to lose weight before the summer if possible. Thank you so much in advance.

What kind of options are available at your school?
If it's anything like mine was, there's a lot of fried food, pasta and pizza.

Somehow I managed to lose 15 pounds in my freshman year. Here's how:

1. Buy your own breakfast outside of the school. Keep cereal or muffins on hand so that you're not tempted by fatty breakfasts every day.

2. Load up on fruit. One of my favourite lunches was peach slices with cottage cheese. If there isn't fruit available, buy your own. It's worth the extra expense.

3. The portions at my school were huge. If you can get your food take-out, then eat half and save it for another meal.

4. Is there a place that does pitas or wraps? That's mostly what I lived on. If you can get them, load them up with vegetables.

5. I don't know if you drink, but if you do, watch what and how much. Stop drinking beer and sugary coolers. Try rum or vodka and diet coke, instead.

6. Walk everywhere you go. Walk to the grocery store. Do random long walks on weekends.

7. Try either buying or downloading a yoga video. Chances are, there are probably other girls you know who would enjoy doing it with you.

8. If you do go to the gym, ignore the reclining bicycles. You know why it's so much more comfortable than other exercise machines? Because you don't get as good of a workout. My personal favourite is the elliptical. Not only do you work out your legs, you also work your arms, so you get quicker results.

Good luck!

Q: I know advicenators is starting to flood with all these love questions, (let alone long entries) and I always thought I would be the ONE exception. needless to say i am not. and i am quite an idiot (bare with me you'll see how ridicules my question is and agree with me)... and i am going to ask another dumb mind-numbing and empathy-absolving question... however, I am going to make a fool out of myself to be able to establish context (so this isn't going to be easy to write, again bare with me)....

SO... i am female. 23. Never had a "real" boyfriend. you can already tell how problematic this may be to any girl at this point in life....

I've had extensive "exposure" to various guys (mostly friends, but very seldom potential lovers that never really go anywhere beyond formalities- i.e he saw me i saw him, we smiled said hi spoke for ten mins, he decided something is wrong with me and moved on)...

that said I really like this guy, but we're from different worlds. I don't necessarily belong to a certain stereotype or category of society but i do sport a brow piercing, thick brown rimmed "art" glasses, majoring in the fine arts and philosophy, and usually can be found in my favorite sneakers (ripped mind you!) and jeans. when i am on campus i am not really THAT concerned with my attire (in so far as i look decent, but still comfortable) i can't walk in heels for the life of me no matter how much i try and have a horrible hair(short)cut due to a new hairdresser's experimental inexperienced hands... (it's not too bad -it looks like two versions of katie holm's hair: a shorter and even shorter version. and it can be disguised with a LOT of time, which i'd rather devote to an art project or paper) i do dress up when i go out (and i promise i look good because i certainly attract all sorts of men) i am kind of reserved though when it comes to that because they see me all powdered up and not when and how i look on a daily basis...

i am not saying i look terrible during the day i just don't look like a conventional long-haired light make up girl... I don't shop very much (being in art puts you on a tight budget) and i don't look horrible without it.....anyway i don't know if this affects how he sees me. he's a graduate student who works at the library, so he's around 3 years older... always dressed in pants (never jeans) has his shirt tucked in his pants (not geeky, more of a professional office look). the reason i like him was because we had a couple of conversations all academia related and he really has a beautiful mind (maybe my philosophy part talking!)...

anyway, i know there is something there, at least i know he knows i like him, we always exchange looks but he breaks them, he smiles if we're face to face and he's very sweet (a reputation that others certainly don't attribute to him) when/if i decided i really really need help with something and I HAVE to ask him, no one else.... my friends tell me i should pretend to need something and talk to him, but i don't know how (i am not good at coming up with "something" without the risk of sounding redundantly fake)... but i really like him and i am even considering changing my look a little (as ridiculous as this may sound) to reel him in with some feminine mystique.... i am not as boring as my writing, i am usually very cheerful and "normal" face to face and not what you would call "socially impaired" (i would contest otherwise! lol)

I guess after this book-long entry (apologies!) .. what I am trying to know basically, since i lack the amorous skills that others seem to have, and since my social skills don't really reflect me (as my boring writing does) how do i, under this situation, act? what should I do? i don't want to pretend i am something i am not... and I AM NOT COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO be the one who takes the first move. should I just ignore it? and how do I do that with out eliminating the library from my end of semester hot-spots.... i am starting my masters next term, and will probably be seeing more of him.... help!

I definitely understand your situation. Fortunately, there's hope for people like you and me. You see, I never knew how to flirt. I still don't. I tried once, and my friends all started laughing at me.

When I met my fiance, I had short, mousy brown hair, absolutely no fashion sense, and was used to being 'one of the guys'. That's a hard role to break out of.

My suggestion; don't 'act' at all. Be you. Because if you end up dating because of a front you're putting on, who knows? He might not like you for you. Just the way life goes.

Don't ignore it! Continue to talk to him. Arrange a coffee date as friends. Don't try to push it further, just enjoy being friends. Once your friendship is firmly established, it's not all that awkward to bump it up to the next level.

At that point, you have a legitimate reason for wanting to date him (from his perspective). You know each other, and know you get along really well, so what's the harm? If it doesn't work out, at least you have an awesome friend.

That's how I ended up engaged to a guy I was mere acquaintances with within a year and a half of meeting each other. Results may vary.

Q: I tried to look for my answers in their site but it was too confusing to find:

I'm 15 and it's my dream university; I've been working very hard in high school so that I can get into it. I can't even think of a different school to go to so if I don't make it, seriously, I don't know what I would do. I have a 91-92% average at the moment and the only thing I know is that you need at least between 86-87% average to go there.

1. Has anyone been there? Is it worth it? I've only seen those stereotyped COLLEGE shows with drinking and sex and partying and stuff, is that true?

2. There's just...jerks and rich people at my high school. Are there people like that there too or do the people actually try there and work hard?

3. What is the best field to study there? I want to be a nurse.

4. Do you have to have 6 University courses? I took open Religion to lighten up my schedule for next year so I only have 5 university courses...

5. What type of grades and etc do I need to go there and to graduate from there to be a nurse practitioner?

6. Are the teachers hard and cold and uncaring as the teachers in high school make it out to be? (I get high marks by working hard but I don't think I can seriously sit in a room with 100 people and listen to lectures while anxiously trying to take notes...I can’t write and listen at the same time).

7. Any other facts would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

I went there :)

1. It's worth it. The shows you're seeing are all glamourized versions of college. If you're in with the right crowd, there's not nearly as much promiscuity and idiocy.

2. There are both. Mostly normal people, though. The rich jerks often go to Western. And the spirit groups are incredible.

3. The strongest fields at Mac are business, engineering and nursing. Good news!

4. You need to have whatever your course says you need. As of 2006 you did need 6 university courses; one english, one math, 2 science and 2 other. Can you do one in summer school?

5. I got into engineering (one of the hardest to get into) with an average in the mid-eighties. If you want to have guaranteed residence, make sure you have over an 80 average.

6. The teachers are atrocious. Remember that university profs are there for the research, not the teaching. However, it may be different in Nursing, as you are a MoMac student (classes at Mohawk as well as McMaster).

If you're having trouble wrapping your mind around a class of 100, that's an issue. I had a class of 1000 in my first year.

Maybe you should consider the college route instead, if the idea of large classes and a lecture setting bothers you?

McMaster is a great school. Well-esteemed and full of awesome people. The profs... meh. I had a great experience, though.

Q: I am a vegan. I have been one my WHOLE life. I dont eat meat, fish, peanut butter, a rare amount grains... just purely fruits and vegetables for the most part. I have a reaction when i have too much protein, so I take this "anti-protein shake" to give me the vitamins that i need. I am getting bored with what im eating... and i NEVER get full, so i eat excessively. Is there anything that you have had or can recommend that is not made of meat or dairy, but that is a good tasting dish? Im just getting bored and have resorted to junk foods- which is a BIG no-no. I want to eat GOOD foods, but I also dont want to feel hungry all the time like just eating fruits and vegetables does for me.
Any help would be great.
Age 18
Madison

As a young adult, you need proper nutrition. Has your diet been okayed by a doctor? If not, then you need to see a doctor ASAP. If you're not consuming protein, you can't build muscles or other tissue. A doctor can help you work around your protein sensitivities.

Some great ideas; have you tried marinated portobello mushrooms? They've got a great texture... makes it far more satisfying than regular vegetables.

I also love zucchini... especially sauteed in a little olive oil with garlic.

Q: I was just wondering why people ask questions about their boyfriends and other innapropriate things that no one needs to be talking about. Doesn't anyone agree with me?

I agree with you to a certain degree. I'm sick of all the explicit "how to" questions that we keep getting on here.

However, I think that sex ed programs have huge gaps. If young people want answers, they need somewhere to turn, and anonymity is a plus.

Q: I'm going to be flying overseas soon and I was wondering about the things I can take on the airplane. I know there are strict carry-on policies now and I don't want to be embarrassed.

Can someone direct me to a site that shows me what is acceptable as carry-on material when flying?

Specifically, can someone tell me if these (below) are acceptable to carry on?:

-Nintendo DS Lite
-Nintendo DS charger
-A couple of Nintendo DS games (Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Kirby Super Star Ultra, Animal Crossing: Wild World, Mario Party)
-battery charger
-digital camera
-adapter
-8GB iPod Touch

Thankssss

All of those are fine, but be prepared to have to turn any electronic devices on to prove that they work like they're supposed to.

Q: I am 23 F. I have been having weird stomach pain for a year now. I have tested my diet, but I still seem to get very nausiated even if I eat a piece of fruit. Anything I eat or drink will cause me to vomit or have severe pain like I just got kicked in my stomach. I have lost alot of weight very quickly, and I faint because of loss of nutreints from not eating. I have been rushed to the hospital many times, but they refuse to help me because I have no insurence. I cant work because I cant even stand up straight. I cant get medicaid or ssi because they said Im not blind, so Im not disabled. I am at my end, and I just want to give up. I am basically dieing by starvation and dehidration. Does anyone know what I can do?

First, move to a country that takes care of its citizens when they're having a health crisis. Seriously, as a Canadian I can't believe that they would turn someone away from the hospital because they can't pay.

I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose you. Make sure you take multivitamins every day, and drink plenty of water or Gatorade, if you can manage that. Just to try to curb the dehydration and vitamin deficiency. Stick to bland foods like soda crackers, clear fluids, plain rice, applesauce. Those should upset your stomach less.

Is there any way that you could get health insurance? I know it's expensive, but it's just a necessary thing. Or is there any way to get covered under another person's? Parents, perhaps? If they know what you're going through, would they help you pay for it?

You also said that you can't work... are you on social assistance? Do they have a plan for medical coverage?

Whatever you do, try your hardest to get in to a doctor. There comes a point where it's just not an option anymore to go without.

Good luck.

Q: What do you think is an appropriate age limit for dating? Like how many years older should it be and how many years younger. I am 18 years old and I have come to the realization that I need to set a date age limit... so any ideas would be lovely. Thanks. =]
P.S. I rate high for good advice ;)

Have you ever heard the Rule of Seven? It tells you how young you can go.

Take your age, and divide it by two. Then add seven. That gives a rough estimate as to how young you can date without it being icky.

So, for instance, you could go as young as 18/2 = 9 + 7 = 16.

As for older, it's a matter of comfort. If they're in your group of peers, then it doesn't really matter. I'd say to stay below 25, though.

Q: I had sex with my boyfriend on saturday. He has really long and gross pubic hair. Anyway, on sunday I got my period and when I pulled out my tampon, I had one of his pubic hairs on it. What am I supposed to do? Do I tell him, should I not be really grossed out cus I am. I'm pretty much looking for opinions really. Any input would be great.

Sex is awkward and gross in itself. So don't be too shattered by this incident.

If his manscaping (or lack thereof) bothers you, nicely tell him that you'd appreciate a little trimming on his behalf. Make it sound like it will benefit him, and he won't be able to refuse!

Q:
I recently started collecting scale models of Indy, Champ Car and Formula One cars. I'm confused about what 1:18 scale, 1:43 scale and 1:64 scale mean. Can you tell me how big each one is and whether they are large or small like a dinky car or keychain.

I managed to get 3 1:18 scale models which are fairly big and 1 1:43 scale that I was expecting to be big but wasn't. I was upset when I unpacked it from buying online. I need to know how scale works so that I can continue to buy in confidence models that are big not small.

There's no way of knowing either as photos are blown up to be big on Ebay and speciality store web sites. Also, if you're in Toronto where's the best place to get jackets, diecasts, prints etc?

Scale works like this:

1:18 means that it is 1/18th the size of a real car.

So a 1:43 means that it's 1/43rd the size... which is about 4 times smaller. 1:64 will be even smaller than that. The bigger the second number, the smaller the model.

Unfortunately, I don't know anything about the stores though.

Hope that helps!

Q: I'm fourteen, my girlfriend fifteen. We've been together for 1 year.

I love her lots and lots and I want to be with her. She wants to get engaged now, however I'd like to wait longer. I want to get engaged to her, but just not yet, maybe in a year or two's time. School will come first, i'm doing my GCSEs at the moment and I intend to go on an do 4 A levels.

Am I right to be thinking this?

I got engaged at 19, which most people consider to be too young, so I see where you guys are coming from.

At this point in time, your personalities and goals aren't quite solidified yet. I look at the difference between myself at 14 and myself at 18, and it's huge. People change a lot in that time.

I would suggest waiting for longer than 1-2 years. Wait until you're 17 or 18 at least.

I've seen the subject of promise rings broached; that's an excellent idea. Like pre-engagement, if you will.

You've got your whole life to get married. No point in rushing through it all!

Q: Heey . does anyone think its a bit slutty to break your virginity at 13 ?

Not slutty per se... but definitely a mistake.

Sex should wait until you're ready to deal with all the consequences; not just STIs or pregnancy, but also the emotional consequences. At 13, you just don't have the coping mechanisms of a 17 or 18 year old.

Also, speaking from (good) experience, it makes a huge difference when you lose it to someone you're seriously in love with. No matter what it seems like, at 13 you don't have that kind of relationship.

Q: Politically, what party/group/affiliation/viewpoint/whatever do I belong to?

Socially, I am a liberal. I support gay marriage, abortion (not partial birth though, they're illegal anyway), stem cell research, etc. (I do however support the death penalty.)

Economically, I am a conservative. I find government intrusion into the economy as wrong and should be kept to a minimum, I support private ownership, and I hate welfare abuse.

Other random things; I support a strict and stringent handling of illegal immigrants (deportation) but also a way to legalize those that are already here. I am anti affirmative action. If any more information is needed, request it and I'll include it in the additional info.

It all depends on the degree to which you believe everything. That, and what country you're from!

In Canada (where I'm from), you'd be a Conservative. However, in the States, our most conservative party is more liberal than your most liberal.

Because of your social views, I'd peg you as a Democrat.

Unfortunately, there's no party that perfectly fits your views. I'm just "labelling" you based on what I follow: that social views should trump economic, no matter what. It doesn't matter how much money you have, so long as you have the freedom to enjoy it!

Q: in your opinion, does it look hookerish to wear shorts with heels?
18/f

Shorts and heels can look really cute, but you have to be careful.

Wearing heels with a miniskirt can send the wrong message, right? So it's the same with short shorts.

If you're going to wear shorts and heels, make it bermuda shorts. It looks much classier than the booty short and high heel combo.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.