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14 too young to get engaged?
I'm fourteen, my girlfriend fifteen. We've been together for 1 year.
I love her lots and lots and I want to be with her. She wants to get engaged now, however I'd like to wait longer. I want to get engaged to her, but just not yet, maybe in a year or two's time. School will come first, i'm doing my GCSEs at the moment and I intend to go on an do 4 A levels.
Am I right to be thinking this?
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No absolutly not. You guys are still in puberty. You don't know what its going to be like when you have to live together, or really what it takes to be married, it is sacrifice, commitment, an compromise. Love dosent stay wonderful either when you have to worry about paying bills and work and the kids. Its great when you dont have anything else to worry about other than visiting after school hours, and hanging out together, but when you get out there in the real world, it is not fun and games. But if you do get engaged, its fine cause you can be engaged for as long as you want, but marrige is forever.
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I got engaged at 19, which most people consider to be too young, so I see where you guys are coming from.
At this point in time, your personalities and goals aren't quite solidified yet. I look at the difference between myself at 14 and myself at 18, and it's huge. People change a lot in that time.
I would suggest waiting for longer than 1-2 years. Wait until you're 17 or 18 at least.
I've seen the subject of promise rings broached; that's an excellent idea. Like pre-engagement, if you will.
You've got your whole life to get married. No point in rushing through it all!
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When I was in HS we didn't get 'engaged'... we got 'promised'. And it came with a 'promise ring' and commitment for getting engaged when you are older, possibly while in college. So instead of 'going out' or 'steady', the couple was considered 'promised'.
In her heart she REALLY thinks this is 'it' for her. And while you have some more immediate things that need attention - like your GCSEs, you sound committed to her.
Think about a gesture you can make as a bridge to an engagement. Maybe pick out matching rings or just a ring for her from James Avery or Jared. You can find something at James Avery in silver for $50-$60. I think something from James Avery like the Inscribed Love Band, or Heart Knot Ring is appropriate for this type of commitment. Just google James Avery and you will see the jewelry. I promise you will be happy with the quality.
Let her know you want to save the real engagement commitment for when you are independent, have a job, $$, stability, and can make real plans for the future - and you have the means to 'do it' right.
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At fourteen you are way to young to even be thinking about getting engaged. Right now you should be focused on school, life, teenage years etc. Engagement is a huge commitment it is not just something you go ahead and do because you want too. Most people do not get engaged until they are in there early twenties. You are still young and so is she, You should enjoy living life as a teenager because you only get to be one once. For one you are also talking about ALOT of money engagement rings can cost anywhere from 4,000 and up and then the wedding depending on what you want you are talking more money. Do you and your girlfriend even have a place to live? Job to support each other? etc. Nobody really wants to get engaged when they still live with there parents. I would wait, A few years at least you are too young and you should enjoy just being a teenager.
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Totally.
I'm not saying you're too young to be in love because you know how you feel. but what I am saying and I'm sure you know already: ANYTHING can happen.
If you two intend on staying together, then great - you do not need to get engaged to prove this.
and I'm glad you realize that it should not interfere with your education.
Can I make a suggestion? Get a promise ring.
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14 and 15? She doesn't know what she wants. Women never know what they want. I think 19 is young to be engaged. At least graduate first. I know a couple who are engaged and they're 18 and 19. They actually live together though so they sort of know what it's like to actually be married. You're too young. Please, please wait!
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I would definately wait. Me and my boyfriend (ish) were like that one our first year. But second year and so on...more problems. Things change a lot no matter what you see in your future. I never knew me and my boyfriend would break up and be like this after we were incredibly in love. Still kind of are...but we have become very toxic too eachother and can't get along anymore. You need to consider this. I HATE when people say you are too young to be in love, because that's just a load of bull shit. I'm not saying you're too young, you're just too young in your relationship and still have high school to go through. And not to bring you down or anything but me and my boyfriend were PERFECT until high school hit. Just something to think about...hope I helped.
-Jenna
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