Member Since: February 25, 2009
Answers: 131
Last Update: April 8, 2009
Visitors: 7499
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Okay so my boyfriend of a year and 1/2 has cheated on me twice and it took me a long time but im starting to trust him again. Well a while ago his best friend kissed me but it wasnt my fault it was like a 2 second peck and i had no idea he was going to do it plus i told my boyfriend right after it happened. Well my boyfriend told me that i had to stop talking to him and i understood and i did. then my boyfriend didnt like my best guy friend ( we've been friends since 5th grade (im now in 10th)) and he made me stop hanging out with him. Well the other night we got into a fight and he told me that he didnt trust me and he goes through my myspace all the time and he has people watch me and then he got on here and was at my home page and asked me why i put on here that i liked someone else and i was like what the heck are you talking about??? and he called me a liar to my face then i got on and found out he was reading a question that someone had wrote to me and ugghhhh! im so frustrated ive never ever gone through his stuff ever and hes cheated on me!!!! HELP!!! what do i do???? sorry this is so long i just need help! Thanks in advance. (link)
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All relationships are clearly not meant to be. Only a few really deserve your time and your efforts.
Don't turn a blind eye to these warning signs. It is time for you to separate the good relationships from the bad ... If you allow this guy to treat you like this, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and a possibly dangerous dating situation.
Right now I see several flags:
1. Cheats (which also probably means he lies)
2. Controlling (Remember that romantic partners are supposed to support each other rather than own each other. )
3. Disrespectful
4. Manipulative
5. Jealous/possessive
6. Secretive, suspicious, defensive
The deeper you get into a relationship, the more likely you and your partner are to show each other your true colors. So don't hold on to this guy because the relationship was once so 'wonderful' in the early stages.
Sometimes it’s easy to feel trapped by someone that you may be involved with, but you do have a choice on what to do next.
You deserve a stable relationship with someone that you respect, and that other person respects you.
Ask yourself this, if a friend of yours was relating some of these red flags to you, what would you say? If you would tell your friend its time to move on, move on to someone that will give you the relationship that you deserve.
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19/f
I am 19 and my parents dont really allow me to do much. I feel like a child. My friends all make fun of me for being under such close watch and not being allowed to go places and do things like most 19 or 18 year old do, because i always have to ask my parents and hope that they will permit me to do something... I have no freedom. I've fairly recently gotten in trouble for trying to go out, because I said so, and I was like... its time to stop being controlled by my parents and get out and have some fun.
I had to deceive my parents so that i could do what i wanted to do. I couldn even leave the house without my mom looking out the door to see who was picking me up and to see if they were there yet...etc.... I didnt know my mom was going to follow me to the door, so that foiled my plan. I was going to walk up the road, but my mom was like "no, tell your friend to come pull up infront of the door". And then she saw that it was a male friend and not the female friend i told her it was. I got in a lot of trouble and got yelled at and lectured.. Now my parents say they dont trust me and i cant go anywhere or do anyyything. My friends say "you're 19, you can do what you want....etc."..
I want to know if it would be f***ed up or not if I were to just slip out the house and move one day and not tell my parents anything until I get there. I want to live with a certain guy, but, i mean, when i am ready to move in with him and when i'm sure thats what i want to do. And I will call my parents from my new residence, or better yet text them and be like "umm.... yeah.... i moved..."
They dont even want me meeting with this guy. They dont want me to meet with no guy or do anything. And I am so tired of my parents! I need to get away from them! I'm not going to even bother with introducing them to the guy, because they wont want me with him cuz he's 22 and i told my mom a little bit about him and she's like "you dont need to be with him. you dont need to be with anybody. You need to focus on school and focus on gettin yourself together first (work on myself in terms of anxiety problems etc.)" They just want to keep me as their boyfriend-less child for as long as they possibly can.
And I dont want to bother with telling them i plan on moving out. So do you think it would be messed up if i just moved out, and in with this guy, and just told them about it after the fact? Just so they know what happened to me.. and that way they cant do anything about it (link)
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If you move out secretly, don't expect an open door and room to come back later. Your parents will feel hurt, unloved, unappreciated and betrayed. I can just hear their 'you've made your bed now lie in it' response. So consider the consequences closely before you make this move.
As for more freedom, I am sure they have thrown "my house, my rules" at you. It may be they will never give you freedom as long as you live at home. You will be stuck at age 16 in their mind, until you are self sufficient. Some parents are just like that. They keep the apron strings tied so tightly, their kids are scared to let go and grow up, or they act out and rebel just to gain some freedom.
But as tempting as it may be, DON'T DON'T DON'T move in with this guy to escape your parents. It isn't the way to start a relationship.
Right now your options are:
1. try and advance your options/freedom with your parents.
2. work on what is needed to become independent(anxiety issues, work, school).
3. Perhaps consider applying for and going to college somewhere out of town/state, so you are not right under your parents thumb.
4. Stay busy with activities (work/school/organizations) that keep you away from home the majority of your time.
I know it SUCKS to feel so trapped, but life will not be like this forever. But don't trap yourself into a relationship you aren't ready for, or poverty because you aren't financially able to move out successfully.
Make goals to get you where you want to be by a specific time (i.e. save xx amount of $$, work where I make xx amount of $$, so I can move out with a room mate/alone in 1 year.) Just working towards the future YOU choose will make you feel more empowered.
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Basically I started feeling unwell this morning.
I am not pregnant, although have been trying for months, but keeps coming back negative, and have been having my periods as normal.
I came on my period today but its not the normal monthly pains.
I came down with the symptoms almost instantly , they include:
Feeling Sick
Headaches
V Painful abdominal pains
Urinating frequently
Painful when urinating
Very blocked nose, and when I sniff its sore and sends a pain to my eyes
I don't think its a UTI because the sickness is quite immense, along with the headaches.
I never normally feel this ill, infact, my immune system is amazingly good, however over the last few months, I have been getting ill on a regular basis. Any help would be greatly appreciated (link)
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It sounds like you have more than one thing going on. By now the UTI symptoms should be getting worse if that is one of the illness's you have.
The nose stuffiness could be allergies as the weather and pollen counts are changing.
Not everyone with a UTI has symptoms, but most people get at least some symptoms. These may include a frequent urge to urinate and a painful, burning feeling in the area of the bladder or urethra during urination.
It is not unusual to feel bad all over -- tired, shaky, washed out -- and to feel pain even when not urinating. Often women feel an uncomfortable pressure above the pubic bone.
Normally, a UTI does not cause fever if it is in the bladder or urethra. A fever may mean that the infection has reached the kidneys. Other symptoms of a kidney infection include pain in the back or side below the ribs.
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There's this one boy and I'm crazy about him. I find him to be really sweet, funny and loving, with various other good qualities... most of the time. We met in person once and we've been talking on the phone, and writing back and forth for about 8 months.
Christmastime he got really mad at me for what seemed to be no reason. I would ask him what I did and why he was being so stand-offish towards me. He was going through a really hard time, he had no money in his bank account to see me, or buy me or anyone else a Christmas present.
In January I was really heartbroken and wrote him a letter of closure. He wrote me back saying that he still loved me and wanted me back in his life. So, we talked for like a week before he pushed me away again. He told me that he had feelings for another girl and was confused about how he felt about me. So, I “broke up” with him. He was going through a really hard time with having really bad dreams, one in which he killed me and another one in which his little sister got shot. Not to mention that he was almost diagnosed with lung cancer, from being a heavy smoker for 5 years and smoking a total of 10 years. His mom was also getting life-threatening surgery done.
On Valentines Day he sent me a message-in-a-bottle containing a poem, describing his true feelings for me, and rose petals. I thought that it was really sweet and romantic, so I text him saying “thank you!” He was like, “I wanted to let you know that I still love you, but nothing is changing.” However, we get back together that night after he called me.
Last Tuesday he got discharged from the army, he called me at the airport telling me how much he loved me and asked me to move to PA with him, he also told my mom that he wanted to see me but couldn't because he had a shattered wrist and ankle... so he wanted to find a way to see me. Then the next day, he breaks up with me, saying that he had sex with another girl and only had feelings for her and not for me.
During this time I find out that this so called girl doesn't exist. I thought something was weird because the story was always changing, so basically it was become a horrible lie. I think he's a really bad liar.
So, Thursday he texts me, after I text him telling him, “I'm sorry that you got discharged from the Army. You're going to do something great with your life anyway. You being in the service just wasn't part of God's plan.” He tells me that, that better have been the last text message that I ever send him. Then, he texts me and says, “Your right.” And I'm like, “About what?” He's like, “II didn't want to leave you, but I want to run away.” And I was like, “Where are you going to go?” And he was like, “I don't know, I'll make it up as go along.” And, it was just really weird.
Then he calls me, and I'm like, “You really scared me” He tells me, “Yeah, I like hurting people,” and I ask him, “Why?” He tells me, “Because people always hurt me,” And I tell him, “How did I hurt you?” And he's like, “By messing around with guys in hotel rooms.” He mentions how he hates everyone, not just me. Then, he tells me that he'll call me when he feels like it. I know that people have been mean to him, but I don't think that he hates anybody. I especially don't think that he hates me, but that might just be wishful thinking.
Here's why I say that, though, he helps people out. When my friend whose only 17 got pregnant he was there for her, mainly for me but he claims that my friends are also his friends. Right now, he's using the N-word to describe her. He always listens to me and confides in me when something difficult is going on in his life. And then, after he hurts me he regrets it.
Okay, when we were first talking, he told me that he was engaged. I really wanted to be with him, but I knew that I had to get over him. So, I gave head to two guys. One, I did out for mainly attraction purposes, and another one, I did basically because he reminded me of my guy.
I feel like he's finally telling me the truth, and that stuff is finally adding up. When I told him I felt really bad about it, and I realized that I hurt him really badly and he might be afraid of getting close to me because of that, like he thinks that I'm going to hurt him again. Every time I'm out of his life he does something to pull me back in. Could I be wrong? Or is my intuition telling me the truth?
My friend whose studying to be a psychology/counselor, which is kind of what I want to do too. Told me that it sounds like he's finally opening up to me and not to give up on him. My heart doesn't want to, even though he leaves me heartbroken a lot. I think that it's more like in this situation he wants to make me jealous, because of what I did. Is it possible that I'm right? Or, am I just overanalyzing?
What should I do? A lot of my friends and my family members are telling me to just give up that he sounds like a lost cause, that I'm never going to be able to have any guy friends and all this stuff, but I don't want to. I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for giving up on him. (link)
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Evaluate what you truly want in your life. Tell him what your standards and requirements are. If he can't live up to those standards and requirements then keep it moving ... You deserve to be treated better than you are getting!
My BIL is BI-POLAR and his marriage is full of heartbreak for him, his kids and wife. He has never been able to provide for them ... financially or emotionally. His family has often been on the brink of bankruptcy and living on the street. If you chose to pursue a relationship with this person, you need to really educate yourself so that you go into it with your eyes wide open.
DON'T put your future happiness in jeopardy over your sympathy for his situation. Go through the pain now of breaking it off, and save yourself and people you love (parents, possible future children) a lifetime of pain later.
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i want to send my friend something, he lives in colorado and i live in new jersey and i want to get something for his little brother too, whose 6. I was just wondering if anyone knew something i could send for his little brother for easter...i was thinking like a bunch of easter eggs or chocolate bunny or something of that nature, but i dont know if candy would melt or anything from here to there...any advice would be great. (link)
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I have two suggestions!
Order something from Hershey's with his name on it!
http://www.hersheygifts.com/Occasions/Easter.aspx?ICID=303
Or from M&M, pick your color and text!
http://www.mymms.com/customprint/?src=112228&sc_cid=P_GG_P2_N00_MA9CON00PGGP2111
Both options allow you to do something original,and have it shipped directly to them. Plus they are experts at shipping chocolate so that it doesn't melt or get broken.
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sorryy i don't know what category this goes in! but anyway, in august my friend and i are going on a cruise to bermuda, and i was wondering if anyone knwos if we'll get service on the cruise? i have at&t and he has sprint. thanks! (link)
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Hi - yes you can get a signal while on a cruise .... BUT, there are extra charges!
Most cruise ships have installed terrestrial cellphone antennae to satellite translators on their ships, so you get reception. You will get a bill for international roaming or other fees. Expect the cost to be about $4.50/minute .... OUCH.
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In the summer of 2008, I bought an adorable Be-Bop dress at TJ Maxx. This is what the dress looks like, only mine is a soft yellow:
http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g164/risingloafer/dress.jpg
Well, my mom threw it in the wash and now it is shrunken down to virtually a mini dress. The band that is supposed to be around my ribcage now barely goes below my breasts. I feel awful, because if I were to put on 5 pounds it might not fit anymore.
The main problem is that the dress is now so tight that you can see the outline of my bra (straps and all, in the front and back) bulging through the fabric. It looks very unappealing, and you can see through especially because it is such a light-colored dress, even if the bra is yellow. Is there anything I can do about it? I've tried a strapless/pushup bra, but I have small breasts... I'm 32A. Strapless bras are always sliding down because I have nothing to hold up.
(link)
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I don't know how 'sheer' it is, but I see 3 options.
1. Give the dress to a good home, it is just too small to wear now. (darn it)
2. Try breast petals - no strap, nothing to fall down, comes in different shapes and sizes, so hopefully one will work!
http://senselingerie.com/Cloth-Silicone-Breast-Petals--P236C53.aspx
3. Take it to a tailor and see if they can let it out or add a lining to the bust.
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Okay, so my graduation is coming up & i really need a dress ! i havee no boobs or a butt, so i need something tight ! & i also want it to be cutee & very bright. except like (yellow or orange) those colors are blahhhh ! x) lOl. so can anyone help me ? PLEASEEE ! (link)
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Congratulations on your Graduation! I am SO glad to hear you are going for bright and fun instead of boring and black.
Since your figure is still slender - you want to find a dress that gives the illusion of curves. Don't worry - models are slender and they look fabulous in clothes. You can too.
Look for something that had embellishment at the bust line (padding, pleating, ruffles, embroidery, etc.)cinches in the waist, or an empire waist, and flair slightly away from the hips. A 'double layer' of fabric will also give illusion of curves. Make sure the top of the dress and the bottom of the dress is balanced.
At your age and size, don't be afraid to show off those legs! And don't forget the shoes. No matter how 'undeveloped' our body still is, our feet can always look killer!
I don't know your style/dress code, or if the graduation is dressy or casual. I put the more casual ones towards the bottom. Here are some styles I think would look good on your body type!
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=369064&CategoryID=29853&LinkLoc=16904&LinkType=SiteAd&AdID=504728
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=364830&CategoryID=29853&LinkLoc=16904&LinkType=SiteAd&AdID=504728
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=361433&CategoryID=29853
http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501815535&view=20&No=20&N=1601734&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3Fview%3D20%26No%3D20%26N%3D1601734&R=02859062
http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501815008&view=20&No=40&N=1601734&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3Fview%3D20%26No%3D40%26N%3D1601734&R=03018742
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=60&startValue=61&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=15743636&parentid=W_APP_DRESSES&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=24&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=W_APP_DRESSES&popId=WOMENS_APPAREL&prepushId=
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=60&startValue=121&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=15829179&parentid=W_APP_DRESSES&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=39&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=W_APP_DRESSES&popId=WOMENS_APPAREL&prepushId=
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=60&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=15618945&parentid=W_APP_DRESSES&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=18&navAction=poppushpush&color=&pushId=W_APP_DRESSES&popId=WOMENS_APPAREL&prepushId=
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3032421/0~2378467~2378483~2377032~6008190?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6008190&P=1
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3012477/0~2378467~2378483~2377032~6008190?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6008190&P=1
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I would like to start a compost pile for this summer. I live in Driggs Idaho, so right now it is cold and snowy. Can I start it now. What kind of area in the yard should i put it in. Step by step please. I rent a house so it has to be something that i can get rid of easily when I am ready to move. What all should I put in it and how do i use it for fertalizer? I heard i can add wood chips to make it not smell is this true? Give me the full 411 please! Thank you! (link)
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My grandmother kept a compost pile. But she had acres and acres of land. Her pile was basically a pit she threw her organic garbage in - which usually consisted of scrapes from her own flower and vegetable garden!
I am assuming you don't have acres and acres to dig a pit! Plus her solution isn't exactly portable.
I saw the best solution for this! A compost drum or tumbler!
Here is how it works:
1. Just collect a variety of organic waste materials from your yard, property and garden. Put them in your tumbler, close the door, and immediately give the drum 5 turns.
2. Give the drum 5 turns every day, once a day, for the next 13 days.
3. On the 14th day open the door and tumble out your finished compost.
* Be sure the mix of ingredients you put in contains wastes high in nitrogen and carbon for a good balance.
* Do not attempt to make compost using any products that have been treated with chemical fertilizers or pest control products.
* If you have bulky items to compost, such as corn cobs, melon rinds, and shrub clippings, be sure to run them through a shredder before putting them your tumbler.
Things to use in your tumbler:
* Grass Clippings
* Leaves
* Kitchen Trimmings and Peels from Vegetables and Fruits
* Sawdust
* Garden Throwouts such as dead flowers and plants
* Weeds (Yes! The temperature inside the tumbler gets hot enough to kill the weed seeds!)
* Manure (From horses, cows, chickens, rabbits, pigs or sheep. Do not attempt to compost any wastes from dogs or cats.)
* B/W sections of newspapers
* Rotted fruits and vegetables
* Pine Needles
* Coffee Grounds
* Tea Leaves
There are several sizes and types of tumblers on the market. Some have wheels and are totally portable. Just google compost bins or tumblers. You can even find them used to save some $$.
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Ive asked this question before and got no responce..
I saw your profile and you seem like a good person to ask it too :)
Hopefully you'll answer, beacuse I really
dont know.. haha.
So Theres this guy I know,
He's really cute.
I would be supprissed if girls didnt go after him.
When I first saw him, I figgered he was one of those cocky
guys (Most cocky guys are good looking.. ive noticed)
And I didnt Pay much attention to him at all.
Then he always looked at me and When I caught him starring he would look away. He would always try and talk to me and tap my shouler and try to make me laugh.
At first I thought he only acted this way beacuse I was paying no attention to him at all and he didnt like that.
But then he asked for my number and texted me right away.
We even began talking on the phone.. alot.
But Ive notcied, When we hang out with everyone else together he always gives the other girls hugs and things I dont know if he's "flirting" or jokeing around, but he told me he likes me, and I asked about those other girls and he said he likes them only as ffriends..
But how do i know he doesnt say the same thing to them?
Do guys do this to alot of girls or do you think he's telling the truth?
P.s- He one day really wanted to see me, came to my house,
and Held me in his arms while we played video games.. LOL XD
But how do I know he's not just a flirt? (link)
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Unfortunately, there is NO way to know he is sincere. If only dating came with a 'truth meter'!!
I can't make a call yet on if he likes you are not, but it certainly looks like it is leaning that way. He is certainly giving you extra time and attention.
I am trying to read between your written lines, and I think what I am seeing is ... you are afraid of getting hurt ...
But every relationship that doesn't end in a break-up, ends in death. In the end there is always pain.
So you can't let your fear of getting hurt hold you back. You just need to accept it as part of life and know you are strong enough to handle it.
This is how we grow and learn what we like and don't like about people. Even if the relationship turns out badly, you will learn from it and know how to make the next one better.
So take it slow ... and watch everything he does. Look at the way he treats you in both private AND public. Put 80% of your faith into what he DOES, and only 20% of your faith into what he SAYS. Because it is in his actions you will find the truth of how he feels about you.
Ask yourself this - what would you do if you weren't afraid?
Good luck!! XO
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lately, no matter how early i go to bed, i dread the next seven hours of school. i really need some type of energy drink - i tried monster, which isn't even healthy, and i crashed fifth period when i took it second (just a few hours).
my dad agreed that I can get an energy drink as long as it's healthy & well, affordable haha.
any helpp? (link)
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First of all, this product is not for everyone. It will affect everyone differently. Nothing replaces sleep or good nutrition.
The most popular energy drink going is 5 hour energy. It is really more of a 'shot' than a drink. It doesn't give you that hyper rush / buzz that the other energy drinks do.
2oz. no carbs, no sugar, portable because it can be warm or cold and it lasts for a very long time. It uses vitamins instead of just caffeine and sugar.
It had loads of beneficial amino acids as well as 83 days worth of B vitamins as opposed to a mere 2 days worth found in an average energy drink. No Hi Fructose Corn Syrup, also a huge plus.
The cheapest places to buy it is Walmart, Walgreens, Target, etc. but you can find them anywhere ranging from $1 to $5 each. Costco and Sams Club is around $1.50 each.
I suggest drinking half until you find out how you react. The first time I took this product, it gave me the hot niacin flush and I felt jittery. However, the next time I took the product it gave me the energy that I needed to get through the day with no side effects. With 5 Hour, I am not off the wall or talking a mile a minute, but merely focused and alert, less moody. I've since taken it many times and have had no problems.
I've tried all 3 of the flavors and the best by far is the Berry flavor.
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Okay so I was talking to my friend online, and her girlfriend pops up and asks me to go to a club with them.
It was kinda sudden, and caught be by surprise. I think it could be fun, but I've never been to a club before, and have no idea what to expect, or what to wear lol. I sort of define myself as a sort of nerdy/geeky guy, and usually wear just jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. I don't really have anything else.
I don't really know if I wanna go. I mean, I part of me wants too, but for some reason it just seems too weird
help? (link)
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How FUN! Go for it. What would you do if you weren't afraid?
Time to go shopping!
I suggest for a guy: Lucky, Buckle or Urban Outfitters!
They sell the whole image, top, pants, shoes.
Wear your shirt OUT and make it a button up, long-sleeve, casual dress shirt with a t-shirt under. Wear a belt. Make sure the jeans aren't too trashed. T-shoes are fine as long as they are not WHITE walking shoes or basic black basketball shoes. I like the men's slip on 'casual dress shoes'.
If you can't afford these places, at least shop there to get an idea of look/style/fit, and then find what you need some place cheaper.
If you can't afford much - wear what you have (t-shirt, jeans, sneakers) and maybe just buy the dressier shirt to throw over your own t-shirt.
BUT GO! It will break the ice and make it easier next time.
Below are some looks to give you an idea:
http://www.luckybrand.com/Kit.aspx?l=00010116023900000000
http://www.luckybrand.com/Kit.aspx?l=00010116023700000000
http://www.buckle.com/styleandtrends/outfit_detail.jsp?bmUID=1238098653382&N=42+1424
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/category.jsp?itemCount=60&pushId=MENS_APPAREL&id=M_APP_BUTTONDOWNSHIRTS&startValue=61&selectedProductColor=&navCount=&prevVisit=true&navAction=poppushpush&sortby=&prepushId=&popId=MENS
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i am a 20 year old female. I broke up with my ex after us being together for 4 years. it was a very emotional abuseive relationship. a week after he and i finally officaly broke up i went to meet a guy i had met on the internet he was honest with me about wanting sex..im not into that epecially so soon but after two days we did. it has been a week he hardly talks to me doesnt have interest in me or what i do and openly admits to not careing about me "cuz we hardly know eachother" am i rushing this and is this guy just using me..im so confused on what to do.. so was i wrong to meet this guy and wrong to jeprodize my morals for him?? (link)
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I almost didn't answer your question because the first two responses were so good...but I do want to add something.
Congratulations for breaking out of a bad 4 year relationship. I had the same experience at your same age and I know how hard it is. I dated someone from age 15 to 20 ... I loved this guy, but is was a very emotional abusive relationship and needed to end.
Then I started looking for love again ... I jumped on 'opportunities' too soon. And I made the same mistake you did. I tried to take someone that wanted casual sex and idealize him into boyfriend material. I was depressed and needy - so I grabbed onto what could be found quickly ... I just accepted the low level of caring they were willing to give, so what I got was less than I deserved.
So what would I do if I had a chance to do it over?
First - look at why you allowed yourself to be in such a bad relationship for so long. What fears kept you locked in the relationship? Fear of being unloved, alone, single ... work on letting those fears go. Don't let them control you any more.
Second - start working on yourself, especially your self esteem. Even through you don't want to admit it, being in that kind of relationship for so long, chips away at you. It may take some level of counseling. Do the work now for a happier life later.
Also, when you have been in such a long relationship, chances are you have let other friendships go. Reconnect with old girlfriends, and/or make new friendships. Be picky about the type of people you let in your life.
Keep yourself busy. Work, take a second job, take a community education class in something you are interested in .. Volunteer, enroll part-time in college, accept invitations from friends to go out ... surround yourself with people that love you and support you. Treat yourself like your own best friend.
Change: Change your hair, your clothes, where you live, where you hang out...maybe not EVERYTHING all at once, but BE different. If you start acting and living like the person you want to be, you will find yourself making better decisions.
Accept that you need a break. Don't look for love, lust, sex, etc. so quickly. You have some healing, growing and changing to do.
And don't look at your latest mistake as a lack of morals on your part or wrong! All your experiences make you who you are. Just learn from them.
Look at this as: "Wow, what was I THINKING?" and move on. Now that you know how this type of person and situation makes you feel about yourself later, don't go there again.
Use it as a learning experience to make yourself a BETTER person, not as a stick to drag you down and beat yourself up for.
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do they screw up your belly button? like when you take out a belly button piercing and the hole heals back up is it all deformed? how long does it take for the hole to close back up?
also, if you go through a metal detector at the airport will that set it off?
are they painful to get?
how do you put them on and take them off? (link)
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I had it done!
No, they don't screw up your belly button. The piercing is actually in the skin AROUND your belly button, not in/on the belly button its' self.
It takes 6-8 weeks to heal if you keep it VERY clean. When you take the ring out, there is a small hole, similar to the one in your ear lobe. Again, not deformed. The hole doesn't close up IF it is completely healed. You can leave the jewelry out for weeks, then put it back in. The hole will shrink some.
I didn't bleed and it was less painful than getting my cartridge pierced. I didn't cry.
I have been on several flights, and the airport detector NEVER went off.
The jewelry is a bar, on one end is a screw and ball. The ball is removable so that the bar can slip out. You put it on very similar to putting on a earring.
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does anyone have unconventional ways to fall asleep? like does listening to white noise help? (link)
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I use 3 mg of melatonin (Walmart or most grocery stores/cheap and non-habit forming) and I use an alarm clock that has different 'noise' optons...like rain, waves, brooks, etc. as background noise.
Also, a relaxation tape that walks you through breathing and relaxing your body works for me. I am out before I work my way past my legs.
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Well I have this friend that I care about a whole lot. I've known her practically my whole life, but for various reason our friendship became problematic. One day I had agreed that I would make time so that we could go somewhere together because the guy she really liked was going to be there. I assumed she would go with someone else but as it turned out, she called me and I had made other plans. After that she transferred schools and I called her but she never picked up. One day after two months I finally spoke to her. It was a difficult conversation because she was telling me that I had changed over time for the worse. A while back I had poor self esteem and I guess I was a "poser" because of it. I took a lot of my frustration out on her at the time. The thing is that whenever I think of her I am reminded of who I used to be then and it makes me feel bad about who I am now. In my head I guess it'll always matter to me if she thinks I am a "poser" because it hurts to know that the person closest to you thinks that. I call her like once a week but she never is home. We haven't spoken in about a month. I'm wondering if I should keep trying to fix this or if maybe I should just let it go? (link)
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Well, maybe you should do BOTH.
First - quit beating yourself up. Everyone, even your friend, goes through periods of low self-esteem. If she hasn't yet she will.
Those periods of hardship force you to change...and sometimes you have to try different things before you figure it out. You weren't just posing, you were trying something new to see how it fit you.
It is ok to change. Everyone changes. What fun would it be if we were just like we were in 8th grade?
Don't compare 'who you were then' to 'who you are now'. Instead compare 'who you are now' to 'who you WANT to be'. Then make steps to move in that direction. Sometimes you will get it right, and sometimes you won't. That is ok.
Instead of calling - write her a heart felt note and apologize for any of your actions that you felt you hurt her, neglected her, or was unfair to her. Then let it go. It is up to her to accept or reject your apology.
Let some time pass. Become happy with who you are ... then give her a call. Hopefully after the apology and some time to get past her own pain, she will be more accepting of you again.
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my boyfriend thinks its hot when i call him daddy, but i feel wierd calling him that, but i want to cause he likes it, how do i get over it and jus be able to?? lol (link)
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;-) Cute.
If you called your own dad/father 'daddy' I can see why this is weird.
Maybe you can change it to something you are more comfortable with that doesn't remind you of what you called your own dad - Like 'big daddy', papa-licious, daddyman, daddykins, papakins, Daddy C (or whatever initial he is), sexy daddy-daddy, daddy-daddy
ha ha ha I know it sounds ridiculous out of context, but a pet name along this line between you two shouldn't sound as weird in private.
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I'm thinking of telling my guy friend who i happen to like that I like him. I'm scared out of my mind however but I can't bottle it up anymore. I want to tell me via letter, and I have a good plan of how I'd give it to him but that's besides the point. What I want to know is whether or not a letter would be a good choice. Is it ridiculous and just an awful idea? It's just that I don't want to do it in school cause were never really alone and I don't want people listening at all, and I really don't want to text or do it over the phone. What should I do? (link)
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ok ... write the letter - BUT HANG ON TO IT. You will feel better and more in control/calm after writing down your feelings and facing them.
But do not give him the letter. Should he NOT feel the same way, you will be more secure without worrying about a letter getting passed around. Even if he isn't the type to do this, you never know which one of his friends will stumble across it.
Instead of a big declaration of love/like/lust etc. ... I suggest putting it out there more subtly, in person.
"You are someone I could see myself dating- it is ok if you don't feel the same way - because I can also see us being really great friends"
In your own words of course ...
This gives him an 'out' without you feeling like you were left hanging ... and if he doesn't WANT an out and feels the same way, then you have given him an opportunity to respond.
Hopefully he has already given you some indication you are more than just a girl buddy. Private conversations, flirty texts, time spent alone, etc. If not, you might want to give him more time to know you first so he isn't taken totally off guard.
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As most of you may know, the days for colleges to make their decisions are either here or fast approaching. Most schools have sent me emails to log in to ther respective websites march 31st to view my status. I had stored all logins and passwords in my computer, but since the piece of crap recently crashed, I just realized they're lost to oblivion. Am I effed or what? Will the universities also send me letters to my home, or should I just call now to see if they can give me my passwords (again)? What's going to happen? What should I do?? (link)
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Hi. That is horrible! But don't freak out.
Since they sent you emails, there has to be a trail. Most email programs keep your deleted trash for 30 days. Check your trash to recover some of them!
I know some colleges require an application fee to apply. Hopefully you or your parents can find a trail of who you paid. This is one way to know which colleges to contact for feedback or to recover the lost password.
Most colleges will also send a letter congratulating you on admittance. I have sure you have a top 5 list. If you don't get a letter from one of your top 5, definitely contact them. If you are accepted, they are not going to take away the offer just because of a lost password.
Good luck!
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Can someomne explain to me how the movie Knowing follows mormonism?
I thought it followed christianity more, but I saw it with a few of my mormon friends and they were convinced it followed the mormon religion. (link)
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I was curious about that too and found the following:
1. While the concept of the tree of life is in no way unique to Mormondom, I don’t believe it is a common positive (i.e., non-Fall-related) image or icon in most religions other than the LDS Church, particularly when represented as a large, white tree in the middle of an open field.
2. And then you have the small, dark stones, which immediately call to mind Joseph Smith’s seer stones.
3. Another subplot involves John Koestler’s loss of (religious) faith after the death of his wife, and his struggle with the key phrase inscribed by his wife in a locket and used between Koestler and his son: “Together Forever”.
4. Koestler appears to regain his faith at the end, even as he embraces his parents and sister moments before they are all engulfed in the solar blast. And, of course, as with BSG you have the overarching theme (familiar to Book of Mormon readers) of a civilization destroyed, with a small ‘worthy’ band miraculously transported to a new location, a promised land where they can start fresh.
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