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Trust??
Okay so my boyfriend of a year and 1/2 has cheated on me twice and it took me a long time but im starting to trust him again. Well a while ago his best friend kissed me but it wasnt my fault it was like a 2 second peck and i had no idea he was going to do it plus i told my boyfriend right after it happened. Well my boyfriend told me that i had to stop talking to him and i understood and i did. then my boyfriend didnt like my best guy friend ( we've been friends since 5th grade (im now in 10th)) and he made me stop hanging out with him. Well the other night we got into a fight and he told me that he didnt trust me and he goes through my myspace all the time and he has people watch me and then he got on here and was at my home page and asked me why i put on here that i liked someone else and i was like what the heck are you talking about??? and he called me a liar to my face then i got on and found out he was reading a question that someone had wrote to me and ugghhhh! im so frustrated ive never ever gone through his stuff ever and hes cheated on me!!!! HELP!!! what do i do???? sorry this is so long i just need help! Thanks in advance.
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Well, you have a lot of drama going on right now and i know you're confused that's why you're seeking advice. If everytime you eat a food and it makes you sick, are you going to eat that food? I don't think so....If your boyfriend is cheating on you...It's either he's a player or he doesn't want to be with you. As for his best friend ...Wow my best friend will never try to kiss my girl....he has no respect for you. your boyfriend treats you like dirt that's why his best friend wants to ffffk you ....Run Run get out of this DEAD END relationship.....Goog Luck!
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WOW, haha, well, First of all, I just have to tell you that it's not his disition who you hang out with. This guy(talking about your friend here) is your FRIENDD! No boy before. It is not your boyfriends disition if you can or can't talk to him, your clearly not going to marry this kid, so why waste your time with him? You are in 10th grade, all the disitions you make are yours, not his. You decide that you want to do when you want to do.
Hope i helped, and if you need any more help drop it in my inbox!
-E
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Well first off you SHOULDN'T have taken him back. No guy is worth your time if he cheats on you once but twice he should have learned the first time. Your too nice of a gift for him to cheat on you twice. But anyway you shouldn't let him tell you who you are going to hang out with. If you let him break a friendship that is 5 years long then you have let him have to much control. Thats one thing you shouldn't let him control is you friendships. What you should do is tell him to never talk to you again. You seem to be a person of princpal and you shouldn't take that from him. You should get back with your old friend and tell him to leave you alone he isn't worth your time.
Good Luck!
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He cheats, and so he cannot trust.
Your boyfriend might be a decent guy when he grows up, but he is not now. Now, he is an insecure teenager with no ability to control himself, and he is NOT going to change while he is with you.
Its time to walk away from this.
I know thats a hard thing to drop out there, especially after a year. But he is too controlling and refuses to trust you. The only thing I really agree with is that you don't need to be hanging out with a best friend who kisses you.
Thats for your sake, because if he did that, then he is your best friend specifically because he wants to be more, and if you don't want more you won't ever have to sever with him, because all he's going to do is hope.
Your boyfriend does not have a right to access your personal shit. I do not have the passwords to my girlfriend's e-mail. And its not because theres a lack of trust, I simply don't feel the need to remember that information (she's told me more than once when she couldn't get to a computer and needed me to check something)
Similarly, she doesn't check up on me online. We don't check each other's search history, and we certainly don't bitch about myspace.
I'm sorry, but thats one of the stupidest things I've seen from teens today, fighting about status changes on networking sites and shit. You should never give out passwords to anything under duress, if a guy says he can't trust you or starts checking up on you like this, he isn't capable of providing the trust you want in a relationship.
And given what you described, his reaction and what happened (innocent on your side) you have done nothing to not deserve trust and he still isn't capable of it.
Heres how things will progress. If you don't stand up for yourself, you will either break up with him, or be very unhappy in your relationship. If you stayed with him, it wouldn't be because thats what was best for both of you, it would be because you were too attached to free yourself from a toxic relationship.
If you do stand up for yourself, you will either destroy the relationship, or he will back down and stop being overbearing.
Destroying the relationship wouldn't be a bad thing in this case. It would be destroyed because he was incapable of being reasonable and adult about all this, which is not your fault.
Basically, he's got to be taught that extreme distrust will not be tolerated within a relationship. The only way to do this is to stand your ground, change all your passwords and refuse to talk about things he or his friends read on a website you belong to.
If he doesn't stop and stop quickly you should continue standing up for yourself by breaking up. And stick to it for at least 6 months.
Personally, I prefer to end things on a good note than let a relationship degenerate until we can't stand each other. If you stay with him, and you don't make a firm stand for the trust that I think you probably fully deserve, you will eventually hate each other.
A last note.
I got to watch a number of couples close to me where one member was overbearing and the other conceded, including my parents.
My mother is now a carbon copy of my father in many ways that she wasn't until after I moved out. Given no one else to connect with on a daily basis she became that which best connected with him because he was so set in his ways.
The mother I remember is gone, and a stranger stands there in her place. Someone whom I don't know or understand.
Don't do that to yourself. Don't crush yourself down and accept someone treating you like an aberration, like theres something wrong with you for absolutely no reason. You will carve little pieces out of yourself over time, and if enough pieces get carved out you'll wake up one day and you won't even remember what you used to be like.
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Well ...
I learned one thing from self experience/ life whatever you want to call it !!
If there is NO TRUST there is NO RELATIONSHIP what-so-ever
Well trusting your boyfriend again after cheating on you TWICE, it's none of my business because i have no idea what you feel and i don't know the reasons so i have no right to judge but from my point of view, It's a big DEAL!!
Because ...
If he did it once, he can/maybe will do it twice and more. People have habits.
And about the kiss, this is not called cheating because you didn't kiss him, your boyfriend has no right to be calling it cheating, Hunny you didn't cheat on your boyfriend. It's that your boyfriend's buddy betrayed your boyfriend.
And if your best GUY friend didn't do anything to you sexually/physically/emotionally your boyfriend doesn't have a right to tell you to stop talking to him in any kind of way. Its not your problem that your boyfriend dislikes your friend for some gay/childish reason. You don't deserve to be tourtured just to satisfie your boyfriend because you need to satisfie your own needs first and then think about your partner.
And i'm sorry to tell you, your boyfriend is a selfish person for calling you a liar and accusing you after what he's done.
One more thing ...
Relationships or love generally are made to make a person happy emotionally/mentally, and you seem like your not happy, and that is a sign for a break up.
I think you should go out there and find a Hot boyfriend who isnt an asshole and that can make you happy!!
Good Luck =]=]
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All relationships are clearly not meant to be. Only a few really deserve your time and your efforts.
Don't turn a blind eye to these warning signs. It is time for you to separate the good relationships from the bad ... If you allow this guy to treat you like this, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and a possibly dangerous dating situation.
Right now I see several flags:
1. Cheats (which also probably means he lies)
2. Controlling (Remember that romantic partners are supposed to support each other rather than own each other. )
3. Disrespectful
4. Manipulative
5. Jealous/possessive
6. Secretive, suspicious, defensive
The deeper you get into a relationship, the more likely you and your partner are to show each other your true colors. So don't hold on to this guy because the relationship was once so 'wonderful' in the early stages.
Sometimes it’s easy to feel trapped by someone that you may be involved with, but you do have a choice on what to do next.
You deserve a stable relationship with someone that you respect, and that other person respects you.
Ask yourself this, if a friend of yours was relating some of these red flags to you, what would you say? If you would tell your friend its time to move on, move on to someone that will give you the relationship that you deserve.
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well i know how you feel but you should confront him he needs to know that youre not a liar and you are his and if he still dosent belive you than
thats his lost he missed out on a great person who is always honest he shouldnt tell you who you should hang out with and who you cant .and remember i am always availble.
GOOD LUCK
TATIANNA:))
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nobody knows whats best for you except yourself.
i mean, ask yourself are you truly happy with him? is he to controlling? could you move on without him? and getting over a guy takes time, and it is possible, even in the worst situations. trust me i know.
you shouldnt stay together just because you have dated for a year and a half. sometimes it takes a while to find out if a person is not perfect for you.
a boyfriend shouldnt tell you who you should and shouldnt hang out with. i would dump him if i were you, but i know that it is easier said than done. try asking him to go on a break for a little while and give him reasons why.
good luck and i hope i helped. and if you ever need to talk to someone don't hesitate you can email or IM me whenever!
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