Men produce sperm their entire lives. There are reports of men fathering children at age 90 and even older!

Every woman does have a sort of wall. It's called the hymen. It may be a solid wall of tissue, it could be partial, or it may even be broken already if you have gone horseback riding or bicycling, or if you use tampons.

If you have sex and your hymen is intact, you will break it once he enters you. Even if it didn't break, it would not be an effective form of birth control, as it may not be entire.

Please, PLEASE, use birth control. Use two kinds, if you can (like the pill and a condom). Condoms are effective 98% of the time when used properly. But things happen. It could break, or slip off inside you, or goodness knows what else. The pill on its own is very effective, but things can go wrong there, too, like taking it at the wrong time. Taking them both together gives you much better odds of not getting pregnant.

It's great that your girlfriend/wife is there to support you through this! Throughout my really bad times, my fiancee had everyone from our friends to his family telling him that he should break it off with me and get out while he still can, and he STILL stayed with me. It is hard on loved ones to help you get through something like this, but the way we're looking at it, there's nothing we can't get through now! If she has come this far with you, then she truly loves you and you are more than good enough for her. It's easy to feel guilt for the past, because when it's a bad day sometimes you can end up hurting your loved ones, but try not to feel guilty. That wasn't you talking. You are not your illness... that was a lesson I had to learn. What shows her that you care is your trying to overcome it. At least, that's what my guy says. As long as I'm trying, he knows that I'm doing my very best to be good to him.

As for the unstability, I can totally sympathize. With Borderline Personality Disorder, I have the same ups and downs as a person with Bi-Polar Disorder, but faster. So while a depressive period might last days or weeks for a person with bi-polar, it only lasts hours or maybe a couple of days. I've got to adjust fast, or risk entirely losing it!

My suggestion for getting back in stride is a strict schedule. I actually have a schedule on my fridge that I follow to the letter. It details when I wake up (I set an alarm every day, regardless of whether or not I have to work), when I eat, when I shower and get dressed, how long I can spend on video games... EVERYTHING. It helps me to put one foot in front of the other. It seems a little weird regulating weekends, but it makes it much easier to get into a routine and maintain a semblance of normal daily living.

Don't ever worry about sounding like you're having a pity party. This is a very difficult thing to work out, and everyone who deals with it needs to talk it out a lot. Problem is, people who haven't dealt with it, or at least been very close to someone who has, tend to be a little distant and uncomfortable about it. That was a big obstacle for me. I needed to talk to my friends about why they didn't hear from me for a year. It can come across as self-pity, but it's really more of a verbal working out of the problem. So no guilt on that front, either! Although guilt seems to be par for the course for us, doesn't it...

I hope that helped a little, and that I was able to answer your question. If you ever need to talk, I'm here just about every day, and I never get sick of answering questions on this topic, ever.

South Korea and North Korea are totally different countries, even though they share a name.

The media is making the situation seem worse than it is right now, for lack of other sensational news stories. The thing is, they've been causing problems for the last few decades.

There is no need to worry about your friend's welfare while he's gone.

To put things in perspective, I have a friend in the military who just got back from 6 months in Afghanistan, was shot at every day, and doesn't have a nick on him.

If North Korea did declare war, though, your country would definitely have your friend moved to a safe haven, if not sent back home.

My dad chose Atkins, and I chose South Beach.

Both of us lost tons of weight. He ate his pound of bacon for breakfast, I ate my salmon and grilled veggies.

The nice thing about South Beach is that it allows you to reintroduce healthy whole grain carbs and low-sugar fruits after the first two weeks, unlike Atkins, which restricts all of your carb intake (including the healthy ones). Negative point; for the first few weeks, I was weak, cranky, tired, and ravenously hungry.

The end result was that both of us gained the weight back, and more. My dad gained it faster, because Atkins is not exactly a lifestyle choice. Nobody can live on bacon forever. I gained it back because I was unable to keep my consumption of refined carbs down the way that they want you to.

What I'm having luck with now is moderate exercise and eating healthy. I have cut out a lot of the white flours and sugars, and eat mainly vegetables with lean meats. It's not nearly as fast, but I can see myself sticking with this choice forever. I'm using a calorie tracking website (myfitnesspal.com), and it's working like a charm. I'm down 12 pounds in the last 5 weeks, and it's not coming back on every time I look at a cookie or sniff a hamburger.

I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and anxiety. I was taking citalopram for about a year, and am now able to be off of it.

I won't lie to you; life is always going to be a battle for people like us. I know what it's like to wake up not knowing if it will be a good day or a bad day.

The key is to take it one day at a time. Take pride in your small accomplishments. If you're having a bad day, be proud of yourself for getting out of bed. Be proud for hopping in the shower and getting dressed. These are all things that bad days can make seemingly impossible. I know that on a good day, I think nothing of putting on makeup. On a bad day, it's a triumph.

Find something to hold onto. Whether that's a hobby (mine is crocheting!), a pet, a friend who knows what you're going through, a loved one, or even a favourite song, just find something and hold on tight. If you can't find another reason to keep going, fall back on that.

Know that it will be uphill from here, and this isn't forever. Often, people with mental illness can recover with the aid of medication to the point where their bad days can be controlled by force of will alone. Every day is a success and a step closer to that point.

Above all, take care of yourself. Eat right, get some exercise, and do what you need to do to stay happy and healthy.

As has been mentioned by other Advicenators, you should definitely talk to your doctor.

By my personal experience, I can tell you a bit, though. Here's what I've tried, and my results with each:

Birth Control Pill: I am terrible at holding a schedule. I tried timers, everything, but kept forgetting pills.

The Patch: Sounds good. You put it on and change it every week... not a hassle at all, right? It's great in theory. When I used it, the fabric part kept peeling off when I showered, so I'd have to replace it every couple of days. I talked to my doctor about it, and he suggested covering the area with saran wrap and taping it in place before showering. That was a no-go for me. No way am I putting that much effort into it!

The ring: Whatever you do, do NOT use the ring! I used it for a couple of months. I don't know about the guy feeling it, but I had real issues. It says that it "can increase the risk of vaginal infections". Little did I know that it meant I'd be in and out of the doctor's office for serious infections the whole time I was on it. It was the worst experience of them all.

Depo Provera: The shot was the last one I tried. It stops your period entirely. I didn't have to remember anything. It was entirely foolproof. I am now off of it, and here's the big catch with it. I've been off for a year now, and am JUST starting to get my period again. I'm extremely irregular, where I used to be able to say "Next Tuesday at 11:00 am". It can take over a year to regain full fertility. Also, using it for too long can lead to bone density loss (hence why I stopped). So really, it depends on whether or not you want to have children within the next 2 years or so, and on what your bone health is like.

Hope that helped!

I totally understand. You want to help the guy you are in love with out of a bad spot. It's an admirable thought. Your boyfriend is lucky to have someone who will stick by him and do whatever they can to help him.

There are, however, other ways to help someone out of a depressive period like this. I should know; my fiance was the one person who got me through a point in time where I was paranoid, hallucinating and suicidal.

Make sure he gets the help he needs. See if you can get him checked into the mental ward of the hospital. That's what got me started on the right path to recovery. It sounds like he needs intensive supervision and therapy, which is what he'd get there. You can even go and visit every day to support him. Failing that, make sure he sees a mental health professional, whether that is a doctor, or a church official if you're religious.

Death is not the way out of this. I know that for him it feels like he'll be this way forever, and that he'll never get any better. I know how that feels. But there is always a possibility for improvement.

There is no need whatsoever for two young lives to be ended like this, when with some hard work, everything can be turned around and you can both live long, happy lives.

Happens to me all the time... at least, it did before 3 years ago!

You can't stop it. Trust me, I tried.

You can't force relationships. If you can't stand the guy after a couple of weeks, it means that you're not meant to be together. There's something about him as a person that doesn't click right with you.

I used to be bored with guys all the time. I'd date for a couple of weeks, then get bored. 3 months was my maximum. Then, I met the guy who has kept me interested for 3 years. He'll also be keeping me interested for the rest of my life... we're getting married!

You just need to find the right guy. If it helps, though, think about it this way; at least you know early on that they're not going to work out. Would you rather get bored a couple weeks in, or a couple years in? This way you can move on to finding out what you really want in a relationship.

Some things you can try;

- Find out what it is about each guy that bores you. Is it their personality? Their habits? Try to find something in common so you know what to avoid in the future.

- Try dating entirely outside of your usual scope. For instance, I have a friend who only dated blonde hockey players over 6 ft tall (how she found them all, I have no clue). She was always complaining about how they were all the same. Then I pointed out that she had dated variations of the same guys for the last few years. As soon as she tried someone new, BAM, her guy problems were gone.

- Who do you like spending time with the most? What is it about them that makes them so likeable for so long? Take that and look for it in future dates.

Please, please, PLEASE do not bring your cat in the cabin!

The noise is the least of your concerns. I had a 4 hour flight last year, and the man in the seat behind me had brought his dog in the cabin. I am seriously allergic to some types of dogs, and ended up spending 4 hours barely breathing because I had a really bad asthma attack while I was in the air. I went straight from the airport to the hospital. I am even more deathly allergic to cats. Even 5 minutes of exposure can put me in the hospital, and it's not an uncommon allergy, either! I was so upset because I am a paying customer, and I should have the right to being able to breathe on my flight. So keep that in mind.

Now on to actually answering your question...

Full-on tranquilizing your cats can harm them if they are older. The older the animal, the more risky sedation is.

However, you can see your vet about getting an anti-depressant (yes, they do prescribe them for animals!) like Valium. It will help your cat relax without actually rendering it unconscious.

I'm not sure where you live, but I know that in my province it's like this:

1) You need your high school diploma. We needed to have a minimum of 30 classes over the course of 4 years in order to graduate... impossible to do in 3 years. Make sure you check into exactly what is required to graduate in your school district.

2) We had our basic classes needed to get into the university program. So, in your case, you would have needed Grade 11 math and chemistry, as well as Grade 12 bio and English.

Oh, and don't feel rushed into getting an early start. I graduated at age 17 and went out into the wide world on my own... and crashed and burned. There is no need to hurry into the working world. Enjoy being young while you can!

But hey, props to you for having high aspirations :)

You know how sometimes you'll go into a test knowing everything, but as soon as you walk in the door you can't seem to remember how to spell your name? That's performance anxiety.

He is obviously fully functional, so this is just a case of him being nervous. Maybe he's not ready on a subconscious level to have sex. Maybe he's worried about what you'll think. There are a lot of things that could worry him to the point where he cannot achieve an erection.

To overcome this, stop putting pressure on him to get hard. Do what you normally do. Pretend you aren't going to have sex. Take it slow and easy.

I've done both. Personally, I found that crocheting allows you to do more fun stuff much easier than knitting.

Knitting is great for rectangular items. I can crank out scarves like no other, but anything more complex and I'm lost.

Try getting a book of patterns for both crocheting and knitting. Try each of them out, and see what fits you the best!

I've never heard of people using this before! Is it a self-tanner recipe, or a tanning oil recipe?

If you're using it as a self-tanner, the iodine is the main ingredient you have to worry about. It stains skin orange. Very orange. And for a long time. How is this a problem, you ask? What if there are inconsistencies in your application? What if you add too much iodine? Then you could be blotchy and dark orange.

Here's a picture of an iodine stain on skin, just so you know what you're getting into:

http://www.ame-creations.com/babble/5hours.jpg

As for the baby oil, it's basically like coating yourself in butter or Pam and frying your skin. It will amplify the effects of the sun's rays. Not such a bad thing, right? You DO want to get darker...

However, do you really want to get skin cancer? The oil won't just amplify your tan, it will also increase the damage done to your skin. So 10, 20 or 30 years from now, you could suffer melanoma for the sake of a "healthy" glow as a teen. Not worth it.

Your best bet? Use a self-tanning product and stay out of the sun. If you do need to go out in the sun, wear a sunscreen with a strong SPF.

I usually eat a piece of fruit in the change room right before going in to work out. You can actually feel the burst of energy right away, from the sugars in the fruit. Apples, pears or grapes are my favourite.

The protein bar works best when you eat it within half an hour after working out. Just make sure you drink a ton of water with it, because they make me really thirsty. That will help give your body the energy it needs so you don't crash after working out, and it'll also give your body protein to use in creating new muscle tissue.

This is the routine my personal trainer has me on, and it's kept me from binging after working out.

Everyone goes through dark times in their life. You were young and confused. It happens to the best of us.

Stable or not, every girl wants attention from men. It feels good! And sex is pleasurable, right? So of course it felt right at the time. Stability has nothing to do with it; I've known people in terrible families who are abstinent, and people in fantastic families who are partying it up and sleeping with tons of guys.

It's hard to see the consequences of promiscuity when it's happening. Don't beat yourself up over not being able to see the future. Did you know that teenagers' brains are not fully developed? The part that's not entirely developed yet: the part that allows them to see the future consequences of their actions.

So really, this was brought on by biology. Yes, you could have made different choices, but these are the ones you made, and there's no point in worrying about it until the day you die.

The really important choices at this point are the ones you make now. Who you were as a younger teen is not important. Who are you now?

As somebody with a sexual past I'm not too proud of, I can tell you that it has worried me. But being with my fiance was like my first. Being in love makes a huge difference.

You don't have to tell anyone about your past. You know that you don't have any STDs, so there's no reason to. My fiance knows that I have done some things I'm not proud of, but he doesn't have the specifics. And he likely never will. And he doesn't want to know.

Also, as for hanging around with those guys, it may be less awkward for you if you stopped talking to them. In the same scenario, I found that I dreaded having to introduce my boyfriends to them.

My personal trainer told me to do this, and it seems to be working pretty well.

Instead of eating a power bar before working out, have a piece of fruit right before. Make sure you've eaten proper meals before-hand as well, so that you don't end up dizzy. But fruit gives a great energy rush.

After your workout, your body is still burning calories like crazy! Have you ever noticed that about half an hour after your workout, you get really insatiably hungry? If you eat a protein bar in the half hour after working out, it will keep that from happening.

I get mine from Costco. They're called Myoplex, and they're lower calorie than most others. They're kind of like a chocolate Rice Krispie square.

Power Bar also makes some delicious ones (I think one is called Vanilla Toffee), but I find them to be really ridiculously expensive.

I kind of had to laugh at orangebutterfly's answer. That's a lot of help! *rolls eyes*

If you are 100% sure that you do not want a child right now, then get on another form of birth control. If you are on an oral or other contraceptive as well as using condoms, you make it a lot safer. The chances of sperm making it past both are slim to nil. If you do end up getting pregnant, this could ruin your relationship, based on your polar views on keeping the child. Yes, birth control can be expensive.

You are obviously mature enough to recognize the risks, and to recognize and admit to yourself that you are not in a position to raise a child. For that, I salute you.

My fiance and I were at the opposite point; I wanted to keep the baby if I got pregnant, and he didn't. It took until fairly recently for us to agree on our views, so we were extremely careful until then.

Abortions are not "Plan B". It's hard on your body and your emotions. Have another safeguard in place until you can both agree on handling the consequences of a mishap.

It's more than okay to treat yourself. If you didn't, you'd be far more likely to let your good eating habits go once you've lost the weight.

All you have to keep in mind is your calorie intake. Just so long as you stay beneath the amount of calories required to maintain your body for the day, you won't gain weight.

If what you're going to eat puts you over your requirement, do a workout to help with the extra.

Restaurant portions also tend to be HUGE, so cut your hamburger in half, set aside half your fries, and take home a doggy bag!

Sounds like you're in precisely the same boat as me.

I'm 21, 5'8", just over 240 lbs. I eat healthy, etc. But for whatever reason can't lose the weight. Or couldn't.

The answer to your first question: you have to want to do it for yourself, whatever reason that is. It's silly for you to do it for your health (even though weight loss will help with it) because, really, you aren't experiencing any negative side effects. Hating how you look is a perfectly reasonable reason to want to lose weight. It's a good chunk of why I want to. So it sounds like you've got the reason covered.

Question #2: Everybody is different. I've always been bigger than my friends, and I've always eaten healthier food. My metabolism happens to be slower than most. You may have the same deal going. The thing is, overweight or not, you ARE healthier than these people. You can't see their organs being overloaded. They are the ones who will develop diabetes or high blood pressure out of nowhere.

The third (and million dollar, in my opinion) question: Find stuff you like about yourself. Think about what you like, and what you don't like. Can you change what you don't like? Then you're lucky! I can change being overweight. That skinny girl with the big nose needs to go under the knife to fix her issue. At least, that's how I look at it.

Being overweight isn't the end of the world. But you don't always have to be if you don't want to.

About a week ago, I made the decision to make a huge lifestyle change. I have a goal of 170 lbs, down from 248 lbs. That's a lot to lose. Just by making small changes to my eating habits (which were fine to start with) I lost 8 lbs in a week. A good chunk of that is due to water weight, since I started drinking more water.

What's working for me? Weight loss is about balance. How much do you burn in a day? How much do you eat in a day? Healthy food or unhealthy food, you have to have a calorie deficit if you want to lose weight. I was eating all the right foods, but way too much of them. It's all about portion control.

The tool I'm using is www.myfitnesspal.com. It's free, and gives you tools for logging your food intake and your exercise. You can track your weight, and there are great forums for support and information. It's done me a world of good, analyzing what goes into my body, and what I'm expending.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Gender:
Location:
Occupation:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists