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Keeping stride!


Question Posted Monday June 1 2009, 1:22 am

I appreciate what you shared with me about my Bi-polar and my meds and the battles that are faced on a daily routine. I have not been able to keep an even stride of stability. For years I have a women who loves me very much and yet I am affraid for her because of my unstability.I have not hid any thing from her she knows everything but I sometimes feel I am not good enough for her.I dont want to sound like a woe is me type of person .I really want to get it right.I am learning to love myself more and have hope but my track record is not very good.I guess my qustion to you is how to keep better stride if that makes sense .

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NinjaNeer answered Monday June 1 2009, 9:15 am:
It's great that your girlfriend/wife is there to support you through this! Throughout my really bad times, my fiancee had everyone from our friends to his family telling him that he should break it off with me and get out while he still can, and he STILL stayed with me. It is hard on loved ones to help you get through something like this, but the way we're looking at it, there's nothing we can't get through now! If she has come this far with you, then she truly loves you and you are more than good enough for her. It's easy to feel guilt for the past, because when it's a bad day sometimes you can end up hurting your loved ones, but try not to feel guilty. That wasn't you talking. You are not your illness... that was a lesson I had to learn. What shows her that you care is your trying to overcome it. At least, that's what my guy says. As long as I'm trying, he knows that I'm doing my very best to be good to him.

As for the unstability, I can totally sympathize. With Borderline Personality Disorder, I have the same ups and downs as a person with Bi-Polar Disorder, but faster. So while a depressive period might last days or weeks for a person with bi-polar, it only lasts hours or maybe a couple of days. I've got to adjust fast, or risk entirely losing it!

My suggestion for getting back in stride is a strict schedule. I actually have a schedule on my fridge that I follow to the letter. It details when I wake up (I set an alarm every day, regardless of whether or not I have to work), when I eat, when I shower and get dressed, how long I can spend on video games... EVERYTHING. It helps me to put one foot in front of the other. It seems a little weird regulating weekends, but it makes it much easier to get into a routine and maintain a semblance of normal daily living.

Don't ever worry about sounding like you're having a pity party. This is a very difficult thing to work out, and everyone who deals with it needs to talk it out a lot. Problem is, people who haven't dealt with it, or at least been very close to someone who has, tend to be a little distant and uncomfortable about it. That was a big obstacle for me. I needed to talk to my friends about why they didn't hear from me for a year. It can come across as self-pity, but it's really more of a verbal working out of the problem. So no guilt on that front, either! Although guilt seems to be par for the course for us, doesn't it...

I hope that helped a little, and that I was able to answer your question. If you ever need to talk, I'm here just about every day, and I never get sick of answering questions on this topic, ever.

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