about

Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

my boyfriend kinda throws me around a little and im ready to get out what do i say?

Tell him you're sick of the way he's acting, you want out, and if he does anything to try and stop it, then you're telling your parents/councilor/ or even the police.

I'm SOOO glad you're getting out. You should NEVER have to be in that situation. NOBODY deserves that!!!!

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I just finished crying, letting it all out. All because of my parents. I'm making 14 very soon now, but when I was 12, I broke my virginity with this guy, and my parents told him not to call at all and not to come over. I admit, he was a bad influence, and he didn't care about me. But I learned so much from that. After that happened, I have been through numerous realationships, lasting anywhere from a week to 10 months. I matured very, very fast too. I have learned about all kinds of guys during that time, and I don't trust ANYONE now.I am currently in a serious relationship with a guy in his late 20s. He treats me so good. Never says a bad word to me. He says he's still shocked at how I am so mature for my age and says he's never met anyone as "real" as me before. The thing is, we can't go anywhere together. And I'm tired of letting good guys who're interested have to pass me up because my parents don't know me and think I don't know anything. I'm not saying I know it all, but I have been a street girl, and I know what it's like. i don't want that. I'm ready to settle down with one person. No cheating. And my age is what everyone looks at. Tonight I couldn't even go to a fair because "I'm too young to be out at night with 3 other girls." My parents don't know me. They don't know ANY of the things I have been through. I want to know how I can tell my parents that I feel too sheltered? It's not just that. My parents don't seem to understand that if they get me a cell phone, then they can stay in touch with me no matter where I am. They always try to keep me home. They won't even let me go to a high school dance, and I'm going there now. How can i tell them that age is anything but a number, and it's my maturity that counts? I'm sorry you had to read all that, but my life is getting very miserable, and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking a counselor...but I don't know. Please help and thank you.


Oh, and sorry if you misunderstand the part where I say i can't go anywhere with the guy in his 20s. I know why I can't go anywhere with him, it's illegal, but I can't go ANYWHERE with any boy, no matter what age. Many, many, endless scores of boys have asked me out to skating rinks and bowling alleys and three asked me out to the fair tonight. But I can't go because I'm "13".
Thanks again.

Well since you already know it's illgeal, that's a big factor. I'm not sure if I'm the best person to answer this, because I thought my parents we unfair until I read this. I have a cell phone, but I'm paying for it. And that's what it's supposed to be, a link from my parents to me. You can try explaining it to them. You can try writing a letter. Usually it's one of the best ways. Even though sometimes the way you write something can be misinterpreted, that's the only way you can 'talk' without being interupted. Have your parents always been like this, or only since you lost your virginity? I'm not sure really what to say. Maybe they lost their trust when you had sex, and are still trying to gain it back completely, no matter how mature someone is, it's always almost impossible to completely gain back trust. Maybe they're still worried something like this will happen again, and just can't help but worry. As a daughter every once and a while I try to look at things from my parents point of view. As an example, I break a pair of $50 heels that my mom bought for me not even a week ago. I should have to pay them back because why should she waste money on something that doesn't last even a week for me? Possibly a good columnist to ask this to is MFS, he's a dad and might be able to explain why some parents are like this. If I was a parents it'd be easier for me to answer this, and I'm sorry that I can't be of much help. This is a really really good question too. You should ask it to the whole site. I love getting questions in my inbox, but this one is a little tough for me to answer. But I hope that you'll either ask it to the site, or try someone such as MFS who, as a dad, could probably help you out a lot more than I could. (He's one of the only parents on here whos username I can think of, and spell (ha ha) Well I hope something I said might have helped. All I can think of is to talk or write a letter asking why they won't let you do these things. Ask them "don't you think I've learned from my mistakes" "Don't you think I've grown and matured since then" "If you love me you'll let me out of the house every once in a while" "I know you're doing this because you love me, but I need a little bit of freedom" Maybe stuff like that. But uhh.. here's MFS's column link... http://advicenators.com/column.php?u=MFs
If you decide not to ask him, you might want to ask the whole site.

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My dad wants to move to Winter Springs, Florida (It's by Orlando) If you live in that city could you let me know how you like it?Are the kids nice there and the is town safe?How are the schools and teachers? By the way I'm a 14 year old girl so I'm going to high school next year.Thanks a bunch!

I don't live there, but here's the info on how safe it is. The average is 100, and it's crime rate is 36, that's way below average and that's REALLY REALLY GOOD!!!
This is a little chart I saw, it has (don't know if it's percent or actual number)
16- robberies
22- rapes
0 - homicides
193 aggrivated assults
95 - moter vehicle thefts

If you need more info just to go mapquest or something and search it. Hope I was of some help.

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I have a close friend who I usually get on well with. However, yesterday evening he told me that he is homophobic because he believes homosexual people mess up the whole cycle of life and they are selfish. I told him that people have the right to be who they want to be but he disagreed. Eventually I said that we could just forget it and agree to disagree but he wouldn't leave it. I told him I didn't want homosexual friends and refused to speak to him. I badly want to be his friend but he refuses to just forget our disagreement and not talk about it again. He just keeps saying that he is right and wont accept that it is a matter of opinion. I don't want to lose him as a friend, what should I do?

Do you mean you told him you don't want homophobic friends. Because if that's not what you meant then this question would make no sense. If he won't agree to disagree and if he won't let you have your opinion since you're letting him have his, then he's not the best friend to have now is he? People have their opinons and everyone has to respect that. There isn't much you can do since he's being hard-headed. (Sorry if I'm offending you by making these comments) Really all you can do is talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him you have your opinion and he has his, you aren't going to bash him for his opinion, and then ask why you can't just agree to disagree. Everyone has their own opinions and if others can't respect that then they don't deserve your friendship. I know a few people that are homosexual and it's fine by me because you can't help who you fall in love with. But I do have my own opinions on gay marriage. It's against the bible, and marriage is between man and woman. If homosexuals want to be 'married' they can at least call it something else.
But before I get into it with my beliefs and stuff I'll tell you that you're best bet is just talking to him and asking him what his deal is. Hope it helps, sorry if it didn't.

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alrite i am 13/f. i dont have big boobs, but im not flat. i have been getting discharge for like 2 years now. and its not light either. is this normal? amd i gonna get my period soon? should i tell m mom and ask to go to a gynacologist? HELP PLEASE!! and dont say ur normal dont worry. cuz im sick of it!!
i rate 5!!

Completely normal. If you're worried about discharge then wear panty-liners.
Why would you need to go to a gyno at your age... NOPE you don't need to see one. I mean if you were to start birth control or something, then possibly. But usually girls don't start until they're 18 or if they're starting birth control or something like that.
It could mean your period is coming. And you can't tell us not to say "you're normal, don't worry" because it's the truth. What else do you want us to say? Should we lie and say "No completely not normal, then end of the world is coming"? I mean if it's normal why shouldn't we say so? Whatever.... well there's your answer. Yes normal, Possibly period soon, No Gyno (unless planning to take birth control or something like that) And that's about it.

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does anyone know when the best time of the day is to get a tan? i heard before that a certain time in the day the sun is stronger, i forget what time it was though

i'lll rate high just for a reply

The sun is the strongest at 12:00 noon. But it could be too strong and you have higher chances of getting burt. I think anywhere from 10-11, and from 2-3 are better times because then the sun isn't too strong, but it's strong enough to tan.

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my cousin (niki) is my age and recently she got a new aim s/n and only told me. well my older sister(16) found out that she had one and when i wasnt in my room, looked at my buddylist and STOLE IT!! i am so mad and its not fair and my parents dont even care!! so i want to take it into my own hands and get revenge but i dont know how.. so whats a good way to get revenge without getting into trouble but still feeling sweet revenge??

Not to sound rude, but WHAT¿? She got a screen name off of your buddylist and you want revenge? Are you sure you're old enough to use this site? Or are you mature enough to use this site? I mean that's a bit of over-reacting if you ask me. Which you may not have asked me directly but you still get my opinion. I mean you can always tell your cousin and if your cousin wants to change her screenname then she can but seriously calm yourself down. I agree with your parents. Now maybe that could've yelled at her for going in your room without permission, but who cares if she took the screenname. Have your cousin make a new one. Or don't use away messages, sign off, and don't save your password. That way she'll never be able to look at it again. I'm sorry to sound rude, but you're over reacting WAAAAY too much. Now I will answer your question but it won't be good.
If she has detangler spray you can always put hair spray in her hair-detangley spray so instead of getting the tangles out it'll just make them stick and noone will know it was you. Or go onto her computer and take some of her buddies screen-names.
All the other revenge things I can come up with you could get into trouble for, and they aren't worth wasting the 10 seconds of your life to do because what your sister did was not a big deal. Sorry about being rude, but you over-reacted WAY too much on this subject.
Hope I helped, sorry if I didn't.

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hey i need some advice on fast, healthy breakfast ideas, and how to make it (if it involves being made)

Banana, or cherrios with strawberries in it. Or wheat toast (healthier then regular) with a scrabled egg, or I just buy those breakfast bars (cereal bars) my personal fave is cinnamon toast crunch. Though I'm not sure how healthy that is. Or even a blueberry muffin is somewhat healthy. Lots of times I either grab a banana, a cereal bar, or I buy a muffing @ school for breakfast. I don't have enough time to make a real breakfast in the mornings except Saturday and then I make eggs and toast. That's pretty healthy.

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Is there any good brand of masacra that anyone knows about that makes your eyelashes seem longer and doesn't look clumpy and flake under your eyes? Im currently using Maybelline mascara and by the time half the day is down some of it flakes and lands under my eyes and makes me look like I'm dead...which is not good. Can anyone help me?

Personally maybelline works for me. But I also use a lot of covergirl products. You can try that one since you say you're not fond of maybelline. When you go to wherever you buy your make-up read the labels, see what it says. I don't do that, but it'll help you find what exactly you're looking for. Hope I helped.

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I can't work. Yes, you heard me.

School work. I have a hella load of it to do, and I just can't motivate myself to do it. I get out the paper and the pens and the work and I look at it, form the answers in my head, but then just can't seem to write it down.

I want to work. I need to work. But I can't seem to do it. Also, I'm stressed to hell.

Can I have some solutions for stress? But not "listen to relaxing music" and not "take a long hot bath" because music doesn't relax me, and I don't own a bath.

Also, please if you could give me some ways to motivate myself, in general, but to do school work mostly? Drinking water seems to help a little, but I need a lot of "get up and go" attitude right now. Merci. ^_^

All I have are stress tips. It was a worksheet I got from a teacher a LOOOONG time ago, I think I saved it to my computer so I'll just copy and paste it here.

101 ways to cope with stress!!
. *Get up 15 minutes earlier* Prepare for the morning the night before* Aviod tight fitting clothes* Avoid relying on chemical aids* Set appointments ahead* Don't rely on your memory... write it down* Practice preventative maintenance* Make duplicate keys* Say no more often* Set priorities in your life* Avoid negative people* Use time wisely* Simplify meal times*Always make copies of important papers* Anticipate your needs* Repair anything that doesn't seem to work properly* Ask for help with jobs you dislike* Break large tasks into bite size portions* Look at problems as challenges* Look at challenges differently* Unclutter your life* Smile* Be prepaired for rain* Tickle a baby* Pet a friendly dog/cat* Don't know all the answers* Look for the silver lining* Say something nice to someone* Teach a kid to fly a kite* Walk in the rain* Schedule play time in everyday* Take a bubble bath* Be aware of the desicions you make* Belive in yourself* Stop saying negative things to yourself* Visualize yourself winning* Develop your sense of humor* Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better day* Have goals for yourself* Dance a jig* Say hello to a stranger* Ask a friend for a hug* Look up at the stars* Practice breathing slowly* Learn to whistle a tune* Read a poem* Listen to a symphony* Watch a ballet* Read a story curled up in bed* Do a brand new thing* Stop a bad habit* Buy yourself a flower* Take stock of your achievements* Find support from others* Ask someone to be your "vent-partner"* Do it today* Work at being cheerful and optomistic* Put safety first* Do everything in moderation* Pay attention to your appearance* Strive for excellence NOT perfection* Strecth your limits a little each day* Look at a work of art* Hum a jingle* Maintain your wieght* Plant a tree* Feed a bird* Practice grace under pressure* Stand up and stretch* Always have a plan "B"* Learn a doodle* Memorize a joke* Be responsible for your feelings* Learn to meet your own needs* Become a better listener* Know your limitations and let others know them too* Tell someone to have a good day in pig latin* Throw a paper airplane* Excercise everyday* Learn the words to a new song* Get to work early* Clean out one closet* Play patty-cake with a toddler* Go on a picnic* Take a different route to work* Leave work early (with permission)* Put an air freshener in your car* Watch a movie and eat some popcorn* Write a note to a far away friend* Go to a ball game and scream* Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight* Recognize the importance of unconditional love* Remember that stress is an attitude* Keep a journal* Practice a monster smile* Remember you always have options* Have a support network of people, place and things* Quit trying to "fix" other people* Get enough sleep* Talk less and listen more* Freely praise other people* P.S. Relax, take each day at a time.... you have the rest of your like to live.

Motivation tips... well I don't have many. Just think about how your grades are being affected, and think about what you want to do when you become older. Like I either want to teach Algebra or to teach Family and Consumer Sciences, so I have to focus on reaching goals so I can make that possible (that sounds real corny) But seriously the only thing I have for motivation is to REALLY think about the grades you're making, what you want to do, and are you happy? If not then find a quite place and really WORK!! Sorry if that doesn't help, but I hope the stress thing did!

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is it ok to still use a tampon if u have a yeast infection?

NOOOOO, that could make it SOOOO MUCH WORSE, DON'T use a tampon if you have a yeast infection!!!

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how do i keep my vagina clean?...not smelly

Well first of all, it's a self-ceaning machine ha ha. That's the whole point of that gross crap discharge that we get.
But the whole smelly thing. I used deoderized panty-liners and deoderized pads and stuff.
You don't have to douch or anything, but when you take showers and stuff you can wash that area to.
Hope I helped

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I want to put my advice column in my AIM profile but I just don't want to see a regular link. does anyone know of anyway i could make the link into a word like advice or something??

Yeah since I do it all the time.
Step by step here's how I do it...

My Aim
Edit Profile
Next, Next,
Next to the smiley face it says link, click that.
In the top box put the link which is http://www.advicenators.com (then the other stuff and your username)
Then in the bottom box put what you want it to say
Then press okay
Then press finish.

That should do it. Hope I helped,

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Can someone help me, anyone who's read The Odyssey. Book IX (9) :

1. What does Odysseus compare the Cyclops to?

2. Why does odysseus refuse his men's reguest?

3. What is the Cyclop's attitude toward the gods?

4. Why do you think Odysseus lies about the ship?

5. Why doesn't Odysseus kill the Cyclops at the time?

6. What does Odysseus plan to do to the cyclops?

I saw the movie and I think I read it too.
1 and 2 I don't really remember

3. Well his dad is a God, his dad is Posiedon or however you spell it... so ummm, try and answer from that info. I don't remember completely (sp?)

4. Umm what ship?

5. Because he needs the cyclops to move the rock that's blocking their exit,

6? he shoves that hot thing in his eyes, to blind him so he can't see them. Then they tie themselves to the bottom of those animals and they leave like that... I'm not sure if that's what you meant.

Maybe you should try doing your own homework, you'll never learn if we do it for you. Or do you like not have the book in front of you to refer to? If you do then you should really look through the book, if not then I guess it's all right that we're helping somewhat. I read it last semester, like more than 9weeks ago, maybe 12-15 weeks ago so I don't really remember as well as I wish I did, but I hope I was of some help.

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When my ?'s are answered, people say "Inbox me if you still wanna talk" or whatever. How do you "inbox" a person.
May sound stupid but hey! Im kinda new...


5's for anything thats correct

You know how at the bottom of each persons answer is their username? Well click it, it sends you a link to their column, then towards the top it'll usually say Ask a Question (Unless they changed the html or something) Click that and if you still want to talk then type something in the box that pops up. Hope I helped and I didn't make you feel like an idiot (I hate it when people do that to me while answering advice)
If you need anything drop one in my inbox :P

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My friend and i have a bet going. We already know what i will do if i lose, but if he loses, we do not know his punishment. Got any ideas?

It depends your 'punishment'. Me and a lot of my friends made bets like on the NCAA, my sisters boyfriend has to bake me cookies because I chose Carolina and he chose Illinois... stuff like that, but it all dpends on what you'll have to do.
Drop on in the inbox elaborating and I'll get back to you on what you can have him do.

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is it wrong to love a baseball player thats a year younger than me?
*honest oppinion needed*
i rate high

Of course not. You can't help who you fall in love with!! :)

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i got a sun burn on my face today..and my face is like kinda red..like along my nose and forehead and cheeks..well i dont really wanna looks so red tomorrow for school....is it possible that i can lessen the reddening by tomorrow? Thanx!

If you put on coverup or something. Also I use aloe (or whatever it's called) to make it not burn as much, and sometimes that can lighten it a little because it heals it and everything.
But try to use powder or foundation or something. That should work.

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Is it true that you can loose calories by chewing gum? I heard it today, and it makes sense because you are chewing and not eating, and I've heard that it can help you loose weight while cooking so you don't eat, so what's the deal?

You can lose calories just from sleeping, so yeah you can lose them from chewing gum.
It's the amount of calories that make a difference, like you'd lose a lot more from running than from sleeping. Get what I'm saying? But yeah, you lose calories from anything and everything.
Hope I helped,

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My mom tells me I'm fat. A lot. She's constantly telling me I need to lose weight, and though she tries to do it in a gentle way it still hurts. And it's not that she's telling me I'm fat and I'm not. I really am fat, but I have a tendency to be stubborn, so when she nags me to do things I never want to do them. And half of me wants to be skinny, and half of me doesn't, so I end up getting lost in the middle, getting stressed, eating more, and having my mom tell me I've gained weight. Thanks mom. But I don't know what to do. She thinks it's for my own good that she's telling me this, even though I've told her countless times that I KNOW it's not something I need to be reminded about. And she has her own weight issues that she should worry about. She's a lot heavier than I am and at more of a risk of health problems than I am. Not that I'm comparing myself to her, I just wish she'd focus on herself instead of me.

Is there any way you can think of that I can ignore her nagging or get her to focus on herself instead of me? (Or both????)

Do you by any chance have a Y near you? Maybe you two can get a membership. That way you're both worrying about each other and yourselves, and your getting the excercise and stuff that you need. That's what me and my mom do. It's kind of our mother/daughter thing. We go to the Y every morning, or every other morning. And if I want to go with my friends I'll go in the afternoon or at night. It gets you in shape, and it's fun.
Sorry if this isn't really answering your question, but I hope it helps.

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