about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

ok so i cant look at this one persons profile/away message. my computer always says "Please Wait..." does this happen to anyone else and do you know what's wrong? thanks.

I know some people that actually type "Please Wait..." as their profiles to trick people. There is a way you can tell if they did this. When you are looking at someone's profie, there two buttons on the top right "OK", and "Close". If the "OK" button is faded and you can't click on it, that means that the person is trying to trick you and they just typed in "Please Wait..." as their profile. If you can press it, that means that for some reason their profile isn't showing up. If this is happening with everyone, and not just one person, that means that your connection is bad. If it's just happening with one person or if it's happening when they are away and an away message doesn't come up, I don't know what to tell you. It might be that they have a lot of colors and symbols and things in there and it's too much information to send to you. It may also be that you haven't upgraded AIM. There was an upgrade available recently. If you haven't gotten that you should anyways and it might solve your problem. I'm pretty sure that they're just trying to be funny though so check on that. Good luck. :)

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I have a lot of necklaces. But I have no way of keeping them organized. Right now they are all tangled in a little box.

Do you guys have any ideas/advice on how to help me get more organized?

They won't get tangled if you have them hanging. At home, I have a bunch of hooks in my room and hang a few necklaces on each one. When I'm in college, I hang them on a lampshade. Find, or make something to hang them on and you shouldn't have this problem anymore. Good luck! :)

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my bf of 2 months swears he's in love with me and that he's never felt this way about anyone else before. he totally treats me like a princess and couldnt be more perfect for me.

ok now, he's not like a 'ladies man' or anything cuz hes not like one of those guys all the girls cling to & wanna date but most of his friends are girls. he swears i mean more than anything to him & that he could never find another girl like me but although hes 'in love' with me im soo scared that hes gonna start to like another girl and its killin me!!! i have a hard time trustin guys and he knows that but he gained my trust over the summer now he hasnt done anything to lose it, im just worried!

lately hes been waitin later to call me [he usually calls about 11:15-11:30ish right after he gets home from work and for awhile used to call me at work] but now he waits till like 12:30ish.. or just sometime late. also, he doesnt seem to be sayin all the sweet things you used to say. he does every now and then, but he used to do it like everydayyy. then last nite i was on the phone with him and he said 'who are you talkin to? _(my name)_ or _(another girl's name)_?' he never talks on the phone to anyone except me soo im worried hes startin callin another girl. i asked him what his bro said and 1st he said he didnt kno he wasnt payin attention but then he changed that name to a guys name when i coulda swore his bro said a girls name. also on AIM & stuff he wont say much anymore and he used to leave me comments on myspace all the time but he hasnt done that lately.

i mean he knows i love him to death but im not clingy or anything hes even said so so i cant be pushin him away!!

im jus scared im losin him.. does this sound like it & what are some other signs he may be driftin away from me and/or likin someone else too?

btw im turnin 16 this month, hes 16 turnin 17 in feb. and we go to diff schools.

sry so long but thx!

Talk to him about it and tell him everything that you are thinking or feeling. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Don't accuse him of anything, because you don't have any proof. If you talk to him about it, it may clear some things up. A lot of the time, once you've been in a relationship for awhile the romance will start to die down. The things you described sound a lot like that to me, but you need to be sure. Talking and honesty can solve a lot of problems. Good luck. :)

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I have been going out with a boy and its been about a week. It seems like everyone I talk to knows that we are going out so then they ask "did you kiss yet" I want to say yes but the truth is no. So this weekend I am going to met him at the park near my house and try to get a first kiss but I am not sure if I am ready for it. Should I kiss him or wait?

If you are not ready, wait. When other people ask those types of questions, they're aren't judging you, they're just curious. It's okay that you haven't kissed him yet. There's no deadline for it. A first kiss is supposed to be special. It may take awhile for that special time to come. When people ask you about it, say either "hey, it's none of your business", "No, not yet, I want it to be really special", "Why do you want to know so badly?", or "leave me alone about it, I'm not one to tell you". Nobody needs to know unless you want to tell them. Don't think so much about doing it or waiting. When the time is right, it will happen. It doesn't have to be planned. Take things as they come. Good luck! :)

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i constantly think of killing myself and i dont know how to stop it. i constantly think that everyone hates, me nobodys really my friend, people just use me & try to take advantage of me, im fat, ugly, ill never be happy.. ect. and i cant deal with it anymore cause i really think im becomming suicidal, i used to cut a long time ago but i stopped & now i just like have alot of mood swings witch turn into me wanting to kill myself, like stab myslef or o.d on medicine or something i dont know what to do. my mom says i have depression and i bottle everything up. but i cant deal with it and they want me to go talk to somebody but i cant. i dont like talking to nobody cause i cant trust anyone i cant even trust myself thats how bad it is .. i think negitive of everything and i just need help .. can somebody help me please ?!

Since you are having trouble talking to people about it, I think that you should call a hotline. The people there won't know who you are, and it's completely free to call. They can help you out and get you through things and maybe even make you feel like you can trust someone enough to be able to tell them. Here are some of the numbers:


Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999

Suicide Hotline - (National Adolescent)
800-621-4000

Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine - (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention).
1-800-850-8078


Please call one. I think that it would help you a lot. I got the numbers from http://www.coolnurse.com/hotline.htm. There are tons of other hotline numbers there if you need them too, or think another one would be better. Good luck.

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So I'm a nice person, I get a long with people. A lot of the time, if I'm mad at someone, its for a real reason. Other than that I'm really down to earth, and I love everyone. But sometimes, I feel like I don't look as if I'm nice. Sometimes people tell me I look stuck up. Which I do. I don't concentrate on my facial expressions..but they always make me look rude or annoyed with someone. Haha. I don't get it. And that's why sometimes people don't talk to me, because it looks like I'm stuck up. But I'm not! I don't know what to do..help?

I've gotten that a lot before too. Whenever I'm bored, people think I look angry so they leave me alone, of course, making me even more bored and apparently look more angry! It's awful. There are a few things that you can do. I know it's hard to control your facial expressions, but your body language plays a big part in all this too. Try to have what's called an open stance. Slouching, crossing your arms, crossing your legs, and actions like those are all examples of a closed stance. With the exact same facial expression, a person with their arms uncrossed will look a lot friendlier than a person with crossed arms. Become more aware of what your body is telling other people and work on changing that. Once you get that down, it will be easier for you to work on your facial expressions. Keep in mind, too, what you are wearing. Sometimes clothing can convey unwanted messages too. Try to dress a little less fashion and a little more casual. Good luck! :)

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i got like 2 huuugeee blisters on the back of my feet from the new flats i wore on the first day of school. and like even with other shoes on after a while they hurt. so what can i do to make them heal quicker/not hurt as much?? thanks! :]

Wear bandaids over them during the day, but make sure you take them off at night. Keeping the sores covered while you're walking around during the day will make them hurt less and help keep them from getting worse. Exposing the sores to air at night will help them heal. Even after they are healed, wear bandaids when you wear those shoes until they are broken in. Good luck! :)

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My husband bought me a dog when we first got married, I loved this dog more than anything in the whole world..time passes me and hubby got a divorce and I moved.. that living situation didnt work out and I asked my Ex to take care of my dog for a few months for me (I knew he would take good care of her) anyways, I just found out that he gave Precious away! He gave her to his brother and his brother's wife -the wife, which hates me more than anyone on the face of the earth! What can I do? She was not a pure breed dog so I have no papers on her of that kind. I do have all my papers from vet visits with my name being on the reciepts as the owner. I also have TONS of picutres of me and her from the last 5 years. Do I have any legal rights or should I plot to steal her back? This woman never took care of her dogs and you could always see there rib cages. It is breakin my heart that my dog could possibly not be fed or showed the love she needs. Please just offer me your opinion... my heart is breaking! P.S. I'm married now and can provide her all the love and care she could ever need.

-Missing Precious

Don't act rashly just yet. First try to get the dog back without getting the police or the law involved. Your ex gave your dog away. Talk to your ex about it. Let him know that the dog was a present to you and that even though he paid for it, it is legally your dog. You care about it and are willing to take legal action to get it back. Don't be harsh or accusatory, just be honest.

If this doesn't work, then it is time to get the law involved. I want to warn you though, it's going to be a battle of "he said, she said", which you could easily lose. Your ex, if he chooses to fight this, is probably going to claim that either, the dog was not a present to you, but a family dog, making it part his, or that when you gave it to him, it wasn't just to look after for a few months, you were actually giving the dog to him permanantly. He may have paperwork showing that he purchased the dog, while you will have no paperwork proving anything other than that you took care of it a few times. Try to be prepared for this if it gets this far. You will have a better chance of getting the dog back if it doesn't! So, really try to do everything you can before taking legal action.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you get your dog back.

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My goodnesss. Ochies so I broke a tiny piece off form the corner of a cpu and i glued it with super glue. That's not the prob though. I got super glue all over my figners! AHH. I can't get it off. I tried warm water and soap. Finger nail polish. And it still wont come off.

Are there ANY other ways? If not, how logn will it take the SUPER SUPER glue to come off?!?!

I've done that before too. What I had to do was soak my fingers in nail polish remover, and at the same time scrape the glue off with scissors, a knife, a paperclip, or anything metal and relatively sharp. It peeled some of my skin off in a few places, but not enough to hurt, just to be red for a few days. Be patient and persistant and it will come off eventually. If it just won't come off, don't worry about it. It'll bother you for a week or so, but it will eventually wear off. Good luck! :)

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I am a STRONG supporter of the homosexuals and transvestites. My best friend is homosexual indeed and he will always remain my best friend.. I'm 14/f by the way. Anyways. I know that about 80% of the people in our school are homophobic and about 50% of them will harm my homosexual friends mentally and sometimes physically. I myself am bisexual but I haven't come out of the closet yet. Not even to my best friend. The thing is that I've lost several friends now since I declared my homosexual friend my best friend. I don't mind because I know that they are too shallow to match up to me. But the problem is that people are starting to tease me and such at school. For instance they ask "Do you uygs do it, you suck him, he's your slave whore, ew, you're friends with a gay guy" etc. It's been going on a lot lately now that I've entered high school. The other day, when I got off the bus, some guys decided to hassal me and one rammed into my chest with his shoulder. I believe that his actions were the result of me being friends with mybest friend (They were teasing him and me on the bus on the way home before I got off). Now I don't know what to do because I know that this situation is bound to escalate to worse situations. I don't and will NEVER drop my homosexual friends. EVER. But the thing is that I'm always hassaled by homophobic people at school and I just don't know what to do about them.

Talk to a teacher or counselor at your school. If you are being physically threatened or assaulted, it needs to stop. It's probably not going to stop if you just ignore it, and fighting back wouldn't be the best of ideas since you'd likely be outnumbered. If you let the adults at your school know about this, they will keep a closer eye on you and the people threatening you so that they can stop things before they start and no one gets hurt. As for the hurtful comments, well those are probably always going to be there. As you get older and have more experience with it, you'll learn how to handle that type of thing better. The comments will probably start to decline, too, once your peers mature a little. Your decision to keep your bisexuality to yourself is a good idea. I wouldn't tell anyone until I was out of high school and only select people after that. It's like throwing yourself in a fire if you do. Nobody needs to know about it yet unless you want to get into a homosexual relationship. I wish you the best of luck and make sure you let an adult at your school know what's going on. Good luck. :)

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I messed up bad this summer with this guy i liked. I never went o ut with him but we were together. we tried ending it a lot of itmes but we both still liked ecahother so we always gave in.

now its been over for good for a couple weeks and he was trying to get over me and told me we couldnt hang out one on one and stuff, it crushed me. i cant get him out of my head and i love him sooo much. homecoming is coming up and our friendship has been a little rocky since we ended but i really want to go with him. i was thinking id tell him i know someone who wants to go with him really bad, and then later tell him the pesron i know is me. and ask him if he would want to or no. do you think this is a godo idea? shoot.... hes perfect.

I think that you should be direct and honest with him. Tell him that it would be great if you went to the dance together and you were wondering if he would. Don't lead him to believe that someone else is interested in him. If you do that, he will end up being disappointed and maybe even feel like you tricked him or lied to him. Not disappointment becauase another person would be better than you, but there's a certain excitement and adrenaline that comes with things that are new. You aren't a new idea to him. Just because you aren't new doesn't mean you aren't good, though. If he is still interested in you he will probably go to the dance with you - as friends. Asking to go as a date is too big of a step, unless he is the one that suggests it. Take it slow and maybe it will work out for you. If he doesn't accept your invitation, don't be discouraged right away. There's still a chance that you two can get together either at the dance or another time. Good luck! :)

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Depending on what it's like, a song can change my mood or outlook on a situation from moment to moment because that's just how I am. What are some good songs that make you feel mellow and chilled out or happy. The songs themselves don't have to be happy or sad...just how do they make you feel? Please give me some names of good songs.

The song that comes right to mind, I heard first in the movie Sin City. It's also in the movie The Transporter 2. Hopefully you've seen one of those movies and can pick out the song I'm talking about. It's called "Cells" by The Servant. Only the instrumental version is played in the movies, but there is a version with words in it. I think it's better without the words, though. It's great music and I've listened to it for an entire day before. I hope it has the same effect on you as it does on me. Good luck in your search!

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i just made a contest myspace site. whats a quick was a can get a lot of friends fast?

Myspace has groups that will allow you to, with one click, add all the people in it to your friend list. I'm not sure where they are, but they're probably not too hard to find. Getting a lot of random friends on myspace is called "whoring". So I'd probably start by searching the groups for the word "whore". If you don't know how to get to the group section, there's a tab on the top called "Groups". Good luck. I hope you win! :)

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I have a BIG butt and running theighs. I run a lot so my lower half is really muscular, but i don't know if guys find it ugly. I mean I like my shape fine and I think I look fine in skirts... but do guys?

I have found that most guys usually like that. Not to the point of being a body builder, but some muscle on your legs can be very attractive for them. I am built similarly and I have gotten many comments and compliments from guys about it. Even so, try not to worry what guys think of you so much. They really aren't that picky. :)

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And if you're a girl...well I don't know how you know or are going to justify your answers. Anywhos what are main things guys HATE or LOATHE about girls and What do you guys LOVE and absolutly ADORE about girls.

Also, I'm a kind of girl that makes little trouble at school (like piss a teacher off for fun), outspoken at times, metal head, rocker chic, getting my drift? I'm that kind of a girl. Are guys interested in girls like that?

Most of what guys like in girls is confidence, maturity, and looks (to an extent). Since you're outspoken that would show confidence, just as long as you aren't annoying or overbearing about it. I'm not sure what you meant by making "little trouble at school". If you meant that you make a little trouble, that is a positive too. A lot of trouble shows immaturity, but a little trouble shows that you're not too mature or too much of a suck up. The metal head, rocker girl image can be a blessing or a downfall. It would be a blessing if guys that had that image too were attracted to you because of it. It would be your downfall if guys avoided you because it was so strong of an image and they weren't that into it. All in all, I think you're doing pretty well for yourself. Just remember not to cause too much trouble and to maybe tone down your image a bit to open the field a little more. Remember too, that the male population as a whole is not attracted to just one type of girl. There are guys out there that like lots of different things. If you like who you are, don't change yourself a lot just to attract a guy. Somebody out there is attracted to you already. Good luck! :)

I know that I am female, but I have asked guys this same question and have gotten very honest answers from them. I have a lot of male friends, too, and I've come to understand how they tend to think.

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I have moments in my life where I'm very suicidal. I've tried it twice before and my friends stopped me.

Right now I don't seem to have friends. I just went into high school and now we're all scattered and no one cares about me. My parents don't know any of this and I'm not planning to tell them.

But yea, I have constant back aches and I'm always tired. I can't concentrate on anything. I feel worthless and empty inside. I don't wanna feel this way and I wanna be happy but I just seem to push happiness away involuntarily!

Is there any way I can escape out of this?!

My advice to you would be to talk to a doctor about this. It is possible that you are either clinically depressed or have something called unipolar disorder. I know a few people who suffer from depression. Now that they take medicine for it, they live very normal, mostly happy lives, just like everyone else. A doctor will be able to perscribe you the medication you need if, in fact, you need it. I hope that you find the help you need and I wish you the best of luck. :)

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ok im 16 and in gr. 12, tha last few relationships ive bin in have bin disastrous, some of them wanted ta be dominated and a little controlled, some thot i was being a dick when i was like that, some thot i was too nice sumtimes, and i pretty much just wanna know wat girls really want, i know it cant be generalized like that , but do you want a guy that makes decisions for you, gets jealous and protective, and is dominative, or do you want someone who romances you , visits you at work on your worst days just to make you smile, and kisses you randomly, , i really hope i dont get 50000 different answers but ya thx

Most girls will answer this question with a simple "of course it's the nice guy!". But in reality, it's not really that way. A completely dominating guy is awful, for sure, but a completely sappy guy is pretty frustrating too.

I'm going to take a line from Aladdin here. "Beeeeee yourself!". Don't try to be anything and you'll probably find that that's exactly what girls are looking for. Something inbetween. Be nice, romantic and sweet, but also make her feel safe and protected with you. Stay away from the extremes. That's where you get into trouble. Good luck. :)

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Okay how do I report the person/webmaster that is behind this certain celebs myspace account for running it illigally without the celebs permission? You really can't see the profile since it's on private and may others are ticked they are being denied as well because he will only add female fans(andj judges peoples pictures and just adds sexy women) and not males and hois myspace could be run illegally without his permission. What should be done? Should the publicist.agent be notified? thanks. I know some celebs are fake, but with this celeb/it's possibly the webmaster doing all this, I feel that there should be at least something that could be done. If anyone knows also what happens to the webmaster(which we think it's his doing with the decrimination not adding all fans, etc and not the actors fault) and the profile that would be great. I hope no one will end up iin goign to court though over this. thanks. :D

If you didn't notice, yes I did give you advice. It was to stop worrying about it or e-mail Tom. Don't get more people involved in this than have to be. It really isn't that big of a deal. I understand that it's a big deal to you and that you were offended, but it's a waste of time to get involved in it as deeply as you are. This is because other people aren't going to care about is as much as you. It's just going to frustrate you even more when you don't get any responses, or you get responses that you don't fix anything. It'll keep escalating and really, it's not worth all the stress you are feeling. Take a deep breath and just let it go.


My advice to you would be to stop worrying about this right now. You, and everyone else knows that it's not the real celebrity so what's the big deal? Does it really matter? Just let it go. There are stupid people out there and sooner or later you're going to just have to deal with it and let them be. I know you're probably going to rate me low on this, but I've gotta be able to sleep at night. This whole thing is pretty silly. Grow up. If the real celebrity and their webmaster or whatever really cared about this it would have been taken care of already. Myspace is a widely known website. This "problem" is so small and so harmless that they probably figure it's not worth their time to bother with. Plus, how do you even know that this celebrity has a webmaster? Seriously, let it go. It's not worth your time either. You're stressing out and getting all worked up over nothing. That's not good for you. Just relax and brush it off. If you really can't take it, e-mail Tom (aka Myspace Customer Service). Doing anything else is a waste of time. Trust me. Good luck.

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My friend keeps popping my pimples. It's gross. How can I make her stop? She randomly comes up to me and holds my face and BLAH. She didnt seem to understand 'Stop!' I hate going to class with blood smeared on my face.

If she doesn't listen when you tell her to stop you need to fight back. Defend yourself and push her away. Take her hands and throw them away from you with a good amount of force if you have to. What she is doing is not acceptable. She's pretty much assaulting you. Let her know that you're not going to put up with it anymore. Don't go and punch her in the face or anything, but physically stopping her is the best way to stop what she is doing. She has taken it beyond talking and, honestly, talking to her about it will probably just upset her. If you push her away, she'll likely just be really surprised and get the point immediately, keeping the friendship intact. The reason she is doing it is because you let her. Stop letting her. Good luck.

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My boyfriend wants to have children after marriage. Not right away though. Maybe 1-3 years after marriage. I don't want children. I think its a huge responsibility and will put a stop to some plans that I have. He said that if I don't have his children that he would not marry me. I fell in love with him and want this to work out between us. He says he loves me very much. He says that he would be a great father and would help out a lot and this is his dream to have this family. How do I come with an agreement with him? What is so great about having children?

I don't know how old you are! That is huge in a question like this.

If you're a teenager, you may change your mind about having kids. I didn't want kids when I was 17. Now that I'm 20, it's one of my biggest dreams for my life. As you get older your attitudes about this type of stuff can change very quickly and very dramatically.

If you aren't a teenager, this isn't what you're going to want to hear, but if you can't come to an agreement on this, do not get married to each other. Marriage not only needs love and committment, but compatability. If he is adament about having kids and you are adamently against it, you two are not compatible. End of story. You two don't have the same values or goals in life and that is a huge wall that you just can't get over. If you were to get married, you'd probably end up getting divorced. Your boyfriend would start to feel like he couldn't live a full life with you. He knows this and what he is suggesting (not marrying you) is the right thing to do. He really loves you and cares about you, but he's not going to sacrifice his own self-fulfillment for it. He's a smart man. He realizes that his happiness is just as important as yours. If he's not happy, you probably won't be either. It really is for the best. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but be optimistic. If things don't work out with him, you will find another love. Try to talk about this kind of thing near the beginning of a relationship so that it doesn't get this far next time. If you had talked about this with each other earlier, you may not have ended up getting so close only to break apart over something so small. Good luck.

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