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December 1, 2010Answers:
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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Ok so I went out with this guy (lets call him Brendan, I wont use real names) in November this year and it was a wonderful relationship. We only ever hugged though and hardly and we never held hands or anything but I was fine with it because he was shy... I had this guy friend and I'll call him Ryan, he and I talked 24/7 and I fell for him. He knows like all my secrets. He practically forced me to break up with Brendan but I hadnt realized that until now. He asked me out a week later and I sadly said yes =( Then, while we were dating, he forced me to kiss him and make out with him, even though I wasnt ready. I broke up with him a week after he asked me out because he was too clingy and never let me do anything by myself. He's been blackmailing me ever since... Sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep at night because I trusted him and told him everything and he could ruin my social life, easlily.
3 MONTHS LATER...
Now, some things have changed in my life. Brendan told me he couldnt live without me any longer and said he missed me and he wanted me back. I said yes and all along Ive loved him still (even when I was with Ryan). We've been back together for about a week. On friday, for a school trip we got to go to Niagara Falls. On our free time, me and Brendan walked over to the falls and he held my hand! =) I was so happy. (Oh and btw Ryan is pissed that me and Brendan are back together). On the bus ride home from Niagara Falls, I sat with Brendan. He put his arm aroudn me on the way back since it was like 11pm and I had my head on his shoulder and I fell asleep on the way back. He sent me a message today saying that on free time while we were close to the falls he shouldve kissed me there but he didnt. I didnt say anything back because I didnt know how to respond. Ryan sends me alot of emails but I never reply but I do read them and he's blackmailing me and threatening me to tell all my secrets on the schools website. Im terrified. I still cry myself to sleep every night because he can ruin my life by the things I've said in the past. I've almost commited suicide, but then I thought of Brendan and I havent told him about what Ryans doing and about me almost committing suicide. Well, should I tell Brendan whats going on? What can I do about Ryan? He slapped me when I broke up with him and gave me a black eye for almost 3 weeks. Im scared to even go near him. Advice?
Stop reading his emails, Block him.
What "Ryan" is doing is harassing you through email. This kid does not control you and the relationship you've describe IS controlling. End it
If Brendan makes you happy then be with him. Enjoy your relationship and focus on the two of you not anyone else. There generally is a golden rule and that rule is "never befriend your ex" this I agree on. Many of the times exes often cause drama, stress and chaos. Stop worrying about what Ryan says and worry about you and Brendan. Ryan cannot do anything as he doesn't own you. You are not his object and you are not a thing. If Ryan does try and do something then you let an adult know. You do not act like nothing is happening and you do not pretend everything is okay. Hitting is completely and utterly unacceptable. No excuse for abuse!
You are only causing yourself harm by reading his bullshit emails. Just simply delete them or better yet create a filter and send it straight to trash.
The way you can do this is by going to the settings in the email. Either that or just save the hassle and create a new email. You are not with Ryan and you do not owe to tell him anything. Go and be happy and stop stressing yourself
Hey, so i'm going to be a senior in high school next year, and I like this guy who will be a freshman in college next year. i don't think we should go out, but he doesn't think it would matter. Is this a bad idea? I mean he'll be two hours away, and it won't be easy to be in such different stages in our lives. I mean, we aren't going out yet, but there has been talk about it. We are both attracted to each other, but I just don't think it's a great idea...
You are right, It probably isn't a good idea. Of course he is going to insist otherwise because sometimes people don't like to see the reality of a situation.
College and High school are almost two completely different worlds. College is more freedom and while he is no longer in high school he is almost on a completely different stage in his life. After high school comes reality. There is no more waking up going to high school and coming home. It becomes getting up, Going to College, Studying and possibly working.
Also, Long distant relationships are very hard to up keep. You need to be able to completely trust one another and sometimes the pressure of being apart begins to take it's toll on a relationship. College is stressful and he may not realize it yet but all too often relationships tend to get in the way of college studying.
Are you able to handle the pressure of being apart for long periods of time?
Will you be able to handle knowing he is away at college two hours away? What about traveling and expenses of traveling? These are reality of your question.
I think it may be best if you both remain friends or go your separate way. It is more stressful to hold onto a relationship then to find a new one.
Ive been a cutter for nearly a year and my parents found out last month.Im still cutting and going to therapy.if anything its gotten worse and i dont want to stop but i want my privelages back.i know youll all probably say just stop and thats so bad for you but it helps me a lot.how can i convince my parents to trust me again and let me continue becouse it helps me deal with life?
Cutting is related to depression or a mental illness. While you may think you find relief with cutting you are causing yourself harm.
Yes, It is bad. It is bad because it is only a temporary relief. Scars are not pretty and they are very difficult to get rid of.
You're parents are concerned about you, Cutting is not normal behavior nor a proper way to deal with situations. You're parents will trust you as soon as you seek help for yourself.
i've had headaches for nearly two weeks now. they start of mild and easy to ignore but gradually progress into sharp pains. its mostly the front of my head that suffers. i've took normal paracetomals, strong paracetomals yet nothing seems to work.
should i make an appoitment with my doctor about this?
If you have been suffering headaches for an on going period of time then yes, You should schedule an appointment with a doctor.
I dont know what to do!! Okay, so i had sex with my boyfriend on May 19 in the morning and on the 19 at nighti washospitalize in a mental hospital for 20 days . But okay they made me a pregnancy test on the 19 and they told me i wasn't pregnant butcanthe test show if i was pregnant if i had sex the same day??& now its been a month and im getting always morning sickness!!!! :'( but then again im in medicines im in prozac and it could be the medicine that makes me sick??!! Please help!!!! I need to know if that exam worked or not??!!!! Please help! Im only 16 & me nd my bf aren't even together!!!!!!!!! Please somebody help me
Oh & like around may .27 I had my period but then again it was only 2 days! & i usually have my period for a week and a half! So im really confused
If you received your period then you are probably not pregnant. It is recommended that you take a pregnancy test 10-14 days after intercourse for an accurate result. Pregnancy test cannot be detected the same day that you had sex with your partner.
A delayed or short period can be caused from a period of things such as depression, stress, illness or many other sources. If you had sex on May 19th then you should take a test. If you are worried then you can take two to be sure. As you did not say, but always make sure you use protection. It is way better to be safe then end up sorry.
Ok so I just turned 13 and Im a female. I just graduated from grade 7 and I have a boyfriend (plz dont say Im too young to date). Today, I had a shower in the middle of the day because no one except me was home and I wouldnt get yelled at for using alot of hot water. After I washed my hair and body, I thought of something. The word "masterbation" just popped into my mind. I heard of masterbation just a few days ago in health class and I thought about the idea. I've tried to masterbate but everytime I've gotten scared. Is it completely safe? Well anyways, I was in the shower and so while I was standing up, we have this low shelf thats like a bench in the shower that we put shampoo and conditioner on and I placed one leg on the shelf and looked down. I got nervous but I NEEDED to know the experience of masterbation. I found my vagina and I carefully pushed in my middle finger ever so slightly into it, (2 fingers wouldnt fit and i didnt even want to try 2). I counted to 60 (1minute), and every 10 seconds I counted I would wedge my finger in my vagina a bit more until I got to 60 and my middle finger completely vanished into my vagina. The pleasure was over welming and it just felt to good, (I'd been in alot of stress lately), and at 60seconds I just didnt want to stop. I slid my finger easily into my vagina and did this for another 30 seconds until I heard my parents car turn into the driveway. I pulled my finger out of my vagina and when I looked at my finger, it had this white gooey stuff on it.
So I have a few questions:-
-What was the gooey stuff? and is masterbation safe?
-Should I start shaving my pubic hair at this age?
-Should I masterbate again?
-Will anyone except me ever know that I masterbated because my mom wants me to try putting in a tampon tomorrow because thats when my period hits and will there be any signals that I masterbated?
Thank you and please only girls give advice..
Masterbation is completely normal and healthy. The only way to get pregnant is if you come in contact with a male penis. You can not get pregnant by masturbating, This is in fact the safest kind of way to pleasure yourself.
Masturbating is self pleasure, The white gooey stuff could of been anything from vaginal discharge or orgasm.
Vaginal discharge is not dangrous. Again, This is normal. What it means is basically the vaginal area is cleaning itself out. Discharge can be brown, white, clear thick. The only time to be concered is when your vagina burns or is itchy. Itchiness and burning can be a result of UTI, Yeast infection or an STD (sexual transmitted disease)
To be straight forward there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is a private thing that you do when you are alone and your parents do not need to know about masturbating. You are safe
I'm on the JV girl high school basketball team & we have a summer camp for boys & girls. We have practice basketball practice everyday and we have to exercise in the morning. After that we go into the locker room and take showers, get dressed. I was the last one there and after showering I was standing naked in front of the mirror (this was in the girls locker room, obviously) brushing my hair (otherwise I get really bad knots, but anyway, its not important). My male gym teacher was locking up the locker rooms and he came in to see if anyone was still in the girls room. So....I was totally naked, without a towel or anything and I spun around to face him when I heard someone come in. I didn't even cover myself up with my hands and I'm pretty developed (I'm 17). I just kept apoligzing for like, a minute, I don't even know why and he said it was fine, don't worry, but he didn't look away and I ran into a stall. My friend told me to act like nothing happened. So, we had gym and I tried not to act weird but when I saw my teacher he winked at me and looked my up and down. He kind of gave me this look, like he liked what he saw? I also caught him staring at my chest while running. I don't know, but I'm absolutely mortified and embarrassed. I feel kind of nervous and ashamed, I honestly feel like crying I don't know what to do! Can anyone, please please give me some advice, because I'm so confused right now and I don't now how to face him again!
Did he knock or shout to see if anyone was in the girls locker room? Either or his behavior is completely unacceptable and inappropriate. Your friend is wrong, You should and need to let someone know about his actions. You did nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. Your coach has crossed the line.
Why was this man in the women locker room to begin with? This right here raises a concern whether this was his first and only attempt to walk into the ladies room. You need to let someone know, You tell an adult exactly what you've just told us. In the meantime I would keep your distance until this is all resolved.
I have a friend who has a partner,but lately,he has been calling me a lot telling me how much he misses me when he doesn't see me for a while or how much he needs me,in the night when he's in bed he sends me several texts saying'I wish you were with me right now'or'I'd like to spend the whole night hugging you',plus he knows I'm in a relationship so I don't know why he would tell me all these things.All I can do is laugh and asking him to stop talking nonesense,I don't wanna be disrespectful either,because I appreciate him as a friend,what can I say to him? Thanks!
You do not want to be disrespectful but you allow him to be disrespectful to you?
You are in a relationship, You need to tell him to stop texting you. Unless you become firm and explanatory he is not going to get the bigger picture. Kindness can sometimes send the wrong message and before you know it he may be thinking you are interested. Seriously, Tell him to back off a little bit. If you do not be stern his actions could very well hurt your current relationship.
I had my record sealed, but Mugshots.com still has my mugshot and I want it removed. What can I do?
You can try contact the site directly
http://mugshots.com/contact/
You can explain your case and ask for your mugshot to be removed from the site.
I have a problem with the smell of my butt. Every time I clean it with my soap, it doesn't go away! I've tried shaving, waxing, cleaning out my colon, prune juice and everything to be clean back there in every way possible. But no matter what I do, that smell is still there! And I don't mean the smell of poop, I mean the normal smell. It's not noticeable, but it still annoys me. I want it to go away, but it just won't!
Does anyone know of a procedure specifically for this or something like that? If you do, I would really appreciate it! Thanks, and please, don't judge me
No, An employee can only be fired by a member of management or your boss.
So the other one of my best friends gave me this troll link. When you click that link, you'll be redirected to a page with this screaming ghost girl and a scary bgm. Obviously I got scared. Afterwards she told me to go troll my other friends and so I did since it sounded fun. Most of my other friends got scared but laughed it off but when I gave the link to my other best friend, HE TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT. Like, I was in Skype call with him so I heard him screaming and throwing something. At first I thought he fainted or something so I called him a few times. Then he told me he just asked his maid to help close the page because he was too scared. Now though, it seems like he actually THREW his headphones to the computer screen and it broke. He told his mum (obviously) and didn't exactly tell her the FULL story. His mum is making me pay $1200 and obviously I'm mad. I said I'd speak to his mum one on one but I won't be too polite about it though. What should I do? And am I really at fault and should pay $1200? I mean, it's not like I threw his headphones at the screen.
I disagree with Razhie
It was a joke, Funny? No.
You are not obligated in anyway to pay for his computer. This boy freaked out and threw something at his computer, You did in no way shape or form FORCE him to throw objects at his screen. It was an unfortunate reaction on his behalf. I would frankly take this as a lesson learned in a way that maybe it's best not to send cruel jokes to people over the internet.
Should you pay 1200? No, You are not obligated to do so. This is his property and his actions....If anything he broke his property then he should replace it.
I met this guy named C.J. about 2 weeks ago. I have seen him almost everyday since and he recently asked me out on a date. The only problem is when i first met him i told him I was 22 (I'm really 20). the only reason i lied was because he is 29 and i didn't want my age to get in the way of getting to know this great guy. I also told him i had a degree in political science when in reality i didn't finish :/ (i dropped out 3 semesters short of getting my degree). i had no idea I was going to be seeing this guy so much and like him as much as i do. i feel so childish for having lied but i want to make it right but i need to think of a good way of telling him. Thank you in advance if you take a minute to give me advice:).
P.S. i have always dated older men and my parents are 100% on board with the age difference
Better to honest with him. Why did you lie? You are above 18 and are legally considered an adult anyway.
Either way to be honest it does not look good when you lie. You very well may of blown your chances, Maybe not but I personally would be second guessing whether I would be able to trust someone who couldn't be honest even before dating.
Tell him the truth. Better sooner then later
I'm 17/f
I lost my virginity at 14 with my boyfriend who I really liked. From then on when I had sex, it slowly turned from it being with someone I really liked/the one that I loved, to emotionless hook ups at parties an stuff. It really escalated last summer when I started partying a lot. Now I've had sex with I think 14 (fourteen)) guys and one girl (if that counts?) and I know a few have slept around. Especially since one guy was 23 and another was 32.. Yeah I know, don't judge. I know it was wrong and I made mistakes but at the time I was really depressed and going through a lot. I guess I coped by having sex. And while I've had sex with 14 guys, which is a lot to begin with, I had sex with like 11 or 12 of them numerous times. Including the 32 year old.
How high are my chances of having an STD or HIV or something? I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
I am not judging but you may want to read up about sex/std
Having a healthy baby has NOTHING to do with a person that has an std.
A mother could have aids and give birth to a healthy baby. (example)
While I think if you are worried about contracting an STD you could get tested to be safe. Also, for your own well being maybe get some therapy. 14 guys at 17 is not normal dear.
Does anyone know if its okay to go swimming IN A LAKE after i get my hair dip dyed? I would probably be waiting an hour between my appointment at the hair dressers and my friends house.
Never swim when you color your hair. Even dipping it!
The chlorine will and can ruin the dye. Wait at least 24 hrs ;-) (This is for a pool)
A lake should be okay but don't swim RIGHT after dying. Give your hair at least 5 hrs.
Hi my name is Janie and I am almost 18 years old and going into my senior year of high school. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now and everything has been fine. Since I started high school some of my friends have been going further and further with their boyfriends (sexually) and I made a promise to myself and God that I would never go that far. I never had a problem with making out but before I knew it my shirt was up and my boyfriend went further than I wanted him to go. I still have my virginity but I can't shake this feeling like I'm dirty. I didn't know how to stop him and now whenever I think about him or see him I just feel uncomfortable, upset and well, for lack of a better word, like a slut. I know he enjoyed it and I'm positive he will be upset when I tell him to slow it down. How should I approach a conversation with him that I don't want anything similar to happen again and that it was too far for me? I know he isn't like me and hasn't made a promise to chastity and waiting until marriage. Should I break up with him if he doesn't agree with my boundaries?
First, I am happy that you have self respect.
You talk to him and explain that you want to take things slow in the sexual department. If he gets mad guess what? Too bad. It is a growing problem these days that the younger generation fall under peer pressure all to often. You have morals, Stick to them. If your boyfriend cares about you the he should care about your feelings. If he doesnt respect that then find someone who will apprechiate you for you and not your body. You are not an object, You are not a thing. If he gets pissed off then you know that's all he wanted and I hope you find better!
can u buy them with out your parents or anyone knowing? do they sell them to 15 year old's?
Yes, Walmart sells them and if you feel uncomfortable at the cash regrister then you can help yourself at the self check out lane.
My first love in teenage (13+) was a crush for an older unemployed guy (24) living in the neighborhood. He turned out to my molester and i was confused about our relationship. I proposed but he did not say. Later, both our parents came to know. My family changed our house and school, and feeling for him roused. After almost 6mths,We met, and he propsed to me too, promising to marry me legally, even against parents'wishes. He foundimself a job too.Later, i got pregnant. I was scared to runaway with him considering my age and lack of confidence. I did not reveal my pregnancy to our parents, his parents were mad that we were going around on his b'day, and his mother threatened me that she will commit suicide if i ever get closer to her son. I was shattered, gave up everything.. had to undergo an abortion. my parents did not want him and would never ask him to marry me. He was not that well-educated and not having much bank balance. I did not go with him, was so depressed. My parents were threatening me about they ending lives, police complaints, and also stopping my education. I withdrew within my house, and never stepped out of my house for years except being escorted to school. by then , I was ignoring his attempt to talk to me, and i never saw him after 2 yrs...i grew more depressed, i was in college & lost my mom...I was waiting for the day when I would be a major to ask my dad to get me married off to this guy.and my dad said he might have married and that i should forget it all, as he was a molester. This was all 15 yrs ago, now i am married to a wonderful guy by arranged marriage, have 2 kids..yet i know i am not normal..i am living with the memories of the ex, i still remember all that we spoke 20 yrs ago, and keep thinking did he really love me at all, or was it for using me that he pretend to love me, how he is now..his family....I know i should be completely involved with my family now...but offlate, my dad is cutting contacts with me, after being remarried and now i start thinking that my dad might have cheated on mom, and be responsible for her mental illness and susequent suicide. It is now alomst 5 mths since I stopped speaking to my dad, and now my memories for ex- is growing. I feel,may be my dad could i got us togetther, or for my dad's sake i am now living a life which is against my conscious though my husband is a awesome guy.. withina few months of marriage, I completely confided in him and told all about my ex-. I hope he is not pretenind to love me, after hearing my story, he is always tied to office, i hope that he is not hiding his frustration that I already had a partner while I am his first partner. What should i do? Is it okay to try to know about my ex- through some contacts or should I never even attempt it. I am sometimes scared of the day I may have to confront him, that day I will breathe my last. Please advise. I do not want my haunting past to affect any of our families and their happiness. Right now, i am in the same city where my past took place, though not the same location. I was in other cities, and being far away from the location of the past incidents make me more insecure, and depressed...
It is 15 years later...For the sake of your well being you NEED to move on from the past. You will never find true happiness if you dwell on what happened years ago. Dwelling can be mentally, emotionally and physcially damaging on a person. You are allowing yourself misery. I highly advise that you seek therapy. Life is way to short. You are a wife and mother to two children who NEED you. You have a family and that should be your main priority in life. Stop letting old memories become baggage and help please.
M/15
I used to have sex with my girlfriend always, but when we broke up obviously we couldn't anymore. I got a new girlfriend but she's frigid. Dunno what to do?
Men, answer plz
You just date your new girlfriend and respect her. The one thing men don't always get is that women want a guy who cares more about her feelings, not her body.
I am not saying you do, but men who pressure women sooner or later find themselves single. Most importantly is she may not be as experienced or ready as you. What you do is take it slow and wait respectfully until she is ready or do her the favor and move on.
okay, I've had this friend for almost 4 years on and off;
well about three weeks ago, she came over and stayed the night; and everything was fine. I took her home the next morning; and we talked a little bit after that;
which is normal; we don't talk every single day; just here and there.
well, today I get on facebook and I was going to tell her I missed her on her wall; and when I did, I realized we weren't friends on there anymore.
So I texted her, and I asked her how come we weren't friends on FB anymore, and NO TEXT BACK.
I sent two more about an hour apart; and nothing.
Well, I found out that she has a new facebook because she is still friends with my mother; and her status said 'new facebook, had to get some people off my other one-add me'
and I sent her a message saying 'idk if you got my texts, but im just curous as to why you deleted me; everything was great between us; and I know I haven't done anything to you; I would like an explaination and than I will leave you alone'
and nothing.
Idk what the hell happened; and I obviously can't ask her because she won't talk to me..
any advice?
There could be a whole lot reasons, Reasonable ones? Probably not.
You see, Sometimes people are arrogant in a way where they just shut people out of her life without explanation. I have even had it done to me once or twice. Generally, I would start to think she wasn't really happy in the friendship or she may even be influenced by other friends or people. Either or she is not a 'real' friend to you. The best I can tell you is to try and make new friends because at this rate there may never be a true explation for her wiping you out. Excepting will come in time
My boyfriend hand a baby by someone else during the time we are together he attended all her classes, doc visit and birth i found out when the baby was 3 months
How could you even think about forgiving him after he cheated on you to begin with?
This man betrayed you, lied too you and broke your trust.
As Rahzie said below I also could never forgive someone for having a child with someone else and never mind that, but leading me to believe otherwise for 3 months.
Dump him and cut contact with him, that simple
He is a liar and now he has a child in his life.