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how to get over past love-life
My first love in teenage (13+) was a crush for an older unemployed guy (24) living in the neighborhood. He turned out to my molester and i was confused about our relationship. I proposed but he did not say. Later, both our parents came to know. My family changed our house and school, and feeling for him roused. After almost 6mths,We met, and he propsed to me too, promising to marry me legally, even against parents'wishes. He foundimself a job too.Later, i got pregnant. I was scared to runaway with him considering my age and lack of confidence. I did not reveal my pregnancy to our parents, his parents were mad that we were going around on his b'day, and his mother threatened me that she will commit suicide if i ever get closer to her son. I was shattered, gave up everything.. had to undergo an abortion. my parents did not want him and would never ask him to marry me. He was not that well-educated and not having much bank balance. I did not go with him, was so depressed. My parents were threatening me about they ending lives, police complaints, and also stopping my education. I withdrew within my house, and never stepped out of my house for years except being escorted to school. by then , I was ignoring his attempt to talk to me, and i never saw him after 2 yrs...i grew more depressed, i was in college & lost my mom...I was waiting for the day when I would be a major to ask my dad to get me married off to this guy.and my dad said he might have married and that i should forget it all, as he was a molester. This was all 15 yrs ago, now i am married to a wonderful guy by arranged marriage, have 2 kids..yet i know i am not normal..i am living with the memories of the ex, i still remember all that we spoke 20 yrs ago, and keep thinking did he really love me at all, or was it for using me that he pretend to love me, how he is now..his family....I know i should be completely involved with my family now...but offlate, my dad is cutting contacts with me, after being remarried and now i start thinking that my dad might have cheated on mom, and be responsible for her mental illness and susequent suicide. It is now alomst 5 mths since I stopped speaking to my dad, and now my memories for ex- is growing. I feel,may be my dad could i got us togetther, or for my dad's sake i am now living a life which is against my conscious though my husband is a awesome guy.. withina few months of marriage, I completely confided in him and told all about my ex-. I hope he is not pretenind to love me, after hearing my story, he is always tied to office, i hope that he is not hiding his frustration that I already had a partner while I am his first partner. What should i do? Is it okay to try to know about my ex- through some contacts or should I never even attempt it. I am sometimes scared of the day I may have to confront him, that day I will breathe my last. Please advise. I do not want my haunting past to affect any of our families and their happiness. Right now, i am in the same city where my past took place, though not the same location. I was in other cities, and being far away from the location of the past incidents make me more insecure, and depressed...
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It is 15 years later...For the sake of your well being you NEED to move on from the past. You will never find true happiness if you dwell on what happened years ago. Dwelling can be mentally, emotionally and physcially damaging on a person. You are allowing yourself misery. I highly advise that you seek therapy. Life is way to short. You are a wife and mother to two children who NEED you. You have a family and that should be your main priority in life. Stop letting old memories become baggage and help please.
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you now what, go for it.try to talk to you're dad and try to have a healthy relationship with him. and make him understand that back then you were young and you didn't know much of what u were doing. you need to stop living the pass, and start focusing on your husband and your kids. they are your family right now and that's what you should focus on, forget about your ex. dot you wonder if your husband thinks that you still love your ex? or still have really strong feeling for him. he might leave you're cheat on you if u keep on ignoring your relationship. just leave the pass in the back, you cant do nothing about it..
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