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He could ruin my life... =/

Question Posted Sunday June 17 2012, 5:54 pm

Ok so I went out with this guy (lets call him Brendan, I wont use real names) in November this year and it was a wonderful relationship. We only ever hugged though and hardly and we never held hands or anything but I was fine with it because he was shy... I had this guy friend and I'll call him Ryan, he and I talked 24/7 and I fell for him. He knows like all my secrets. He practically forced me to break up with Brendan but I hadnt realized that until now. He asked me out a week later and I sadly said yes =( Then, while we were dating, he forced me to kiss him and make out with him, even though I wasnt ready. I broke up with him a week after he asked me out because he was too clingy and never let me do anything by myself. He's been blackmailing me ever since... Sometimes I have to cry myself to sleep at night because I trusted him and told him everything and he could ruin my social life, easlily.
Now, some things have changed in my life. Brendan told me he couldnt live without me any longer and said he missed me and he wanted me back. I said yes and all along Ive loved him still (even when I was with Ryan). We've been back together for about a week. On friday, for a school trip we got to go to Niagara Falls. On our free time, me and Brendan walked over to the falls and he held my hand! =) I was so happy. (Oh and btw Ryan is pissed that me and Brendan are back together). On the bus ride home from Niagara Falls, I sat with Brendan. He put his arm aroudn me on the way back since it was like 11pm and I had my head on his shoulder and I fell asleep on the way back. He sent me a message today saying that on free time while we were close to the falls he shouldve kissed me there but he didnt. I didnt say anything back because I didnt know how to respond. Ryan sends me alot of emails but I never reply but I do read them and he's blackmailing me and threatening me to tell all my secrets on the schools website. Im terrified. I still cry myself to sleep every night because he can ruin my life by the things I've said in the past. I've almost commited suicide, but then I thought of Brendan and I havent told him about what Ryans doing and about me almost committing suicide. Well, should I tell Brendan whats going on? What can I do about Ryan? He slapped me when I broke up with him and gave me a black eye for almost 3 weeks. Im scared to even go near him. Advice?

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cowgirlup13 answered Tuesday June 19 2012, 10:46 pm:
Hey girlie! First of all, you shouldnt ever cry your self to sleep over Ryan (or any boy)! He's just not worth your tears! And second, tell Brendan what's going on. The key to a good relationship is trust and reliablility :) let him know what's going on because odds are, it's going to make you feel more safe and secure, just known that he knows! And hey! You never know... Brandan could teach Ryan a lesson ;) Also, please don't EVER think about commuting suicide. You think it would take away all the pain sweetie, but what about your family and friends...... What about brandan??? You hear so much about bullying today, and Ryan is one! Don't let him get you down. Be the bigger person and don't stoop down to his level. Maybe to avoid all the blackmail you could make another email account or block his number or email address.
Best of luck <3

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Xui answered Sunday June 17 2012, 11:22 pm:
Stop reading his emails, Block him.

What "Ryan" is doing is harassing you through email. This kid does not control you and the relationship you've describe IS controlling. End it

If Brendan makes you happy then be with him. Enjoy your relationship and focus on the two of you not anyone else. There generally is a golden rule and that rule is "never befriend your ex" this I agree on. Many of the times exes often cause drama, stress and chaos. Stop worrying about what Ryan says and worry about you and Brendan. Ryan cannot do anything as he doesn't own you. You are not his object and you are not a thing. If Ryan does try and do something then you let an adult know. You do not act like nothing is happening and you do not pretend everything is okay. Hitting is completely and utterly unacceptable. No excuse for abuse!

You are only causing yourself harm by reading his bullshit emails. Just simply delete them or better yet create a filter and send it straight to trash.

The way you can do this is by going to the settings in the email. Either that or just save the hassle and create a new email. You are not with Ryan and you do not owe to tell him anything. Go and be happy and stop stressing yourself

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