|
Awkward question about sex
Hey 18(almost 19/f) So I have been with my boyfriend just short of three years. I love him more than I have loved anyobe else in my life. I truly believe we have a long future together. However there's just one problem,sex. I lost my virginity to him when I was almost 17.(he was a virgin too) It was extremely awkward and just didnt go to plan. After that we tried a few more times but with the same result. I put it down to not being ready so we put it off for another while. We never really have sex just mess around but when we try its just painfully disappointing. It doesnt feel like anything to me?!No pain or pleasure I just feel a weird feeling in.my tummy. I can't orgasm from fingering either just from him rubbing my clit. I don't think I come either once or twice I think but usually not. Whats wrong with me?I am relaxed before sex and we do spend time on foreplay. Also when we try his oenis keeps like slipping out? Ive tried to be paitient because he is just as inexperienced as me but its soo frustrating. Also when he comes he just goes soft straight away and cant get hard again. is this normal?I have heard of people having sex multiple times a night but he says it doesnt work like that?can anyone help me im at the point where I think il just give up on sex and i dont want that! were strong enough not to let this effect us and we play around a lot but i want a decent sex life! any advice appreciated please only answer if you are experienced. Thank you
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Okay, so there is alot to address on this such as orgasming for you in general. Are you into masturbation? If you have never tried it, try it. It's one of the most effect ways to see what you actually like specifically finger and positioning of the penis. I, myself, am not a big fan of it. But than again I really only recommend this for people trying to figure out what they like and how they like it. It's especially effect if you are able to get yourself to orgasm, which you may not if it's your first time masturbating and you're not really sure.
and even try oral. if you haven't. let him perform oral on you, maybe even have him mix a bit of oral and some fingering at the same time.
Also try some different positions. I recommend Kama Sutra. I mean everyone makes little jokes about it but believe me some of the positions in there are just well.. heavenly. and will send you down orgasm road.
The slipping out might mean he might be a little less packaged than others but good positioning can not make that a factor. or even the condoms are too lubey so try different kind of condoms and if you are using lube don't.
errr. and as for the going straight soft after... never had that issue with a guy before but it sounds like your guy just needs a break or something. and it's probably also a part of him being inexpierenced.
but anyway just keep practicing, as wierd as this sounds sex is just like an exercise.
Practice makes PERFECT.
]
First, let me address the penis issue. Yes, it's absolutely normal for the penis to go soft after ejaculating. This happened to every single guy in the world. People do have sex multiple times a night, but there has to be a gap in between, for ones 'body' to recover. This depends on the guy, but is usually around 1 hour, maybe longer.
In regards to it slipping out: what's the problem? Is it too small? Or too big? Either way, you can figure out sex positions to cater for this. For too small: e.g. doggy style, for too big: cowgirl. I won't get into details here, but you can research.
If you can only orgasm with stimulation of the clitoris, this is also normal. You, or he, could 'stimulate it', for lack of a better term. Also, try masturbating, and figure out what you like. Then tell him, so he knows what to do.
And foreplay should last a long time: like, an hour+. This will help you both get into the mood, and the experience will be better because of the long wait, for both of you.
If the sensation of you not feeling anything continues, you could try stuff like stimulating lubricants. Durex do some that tingle, some that warm, some that cool. Ribbed condoms may also work.
In short: Experiment with what you both like. Tell him. Be sure foreplay lasts long.
Hope I helped :)
]
Maybe it's the things you're thinking about during sex. Maybe you're too focused on the problems you have instead of what it feels like to actually have an orgasm. You need to imagine what an orgasm feels like and ignore everything else. I remember when I started masturbating, I had the same problem. I just couldn't get an orgasm. At all. So i asked/saw a question on here (I don't really remember which) & someone said this. So i tried it and (after many tries) it worked! So i suggest you try this
Good Luck & I hope I helped!
]
More Questions: |